I felt bored, and sad. So here's some angst with Lambo cos when has societal rules ever held me back, eh?
You could understand what you felt ever since you were 13. You weren't stupid, no matter what the others thought. You could comprehend the searing heat in your chest, the embarrassing stumbling, the flush that rose to your cheeks whenever you saw him. You knew what you felt, and you hated it.
What should you feel for one of the first people to ever accept you, after all? It didn't matter, since he didn't deserve this.
You found yourself hiding from him, flinching at the thought of him, or what his mere presence did to you. You threw yourself into the throng of girls, swarmed yourself with them, tried not to react to the disappointed look in his face. He doesn't say a word, and a part of you thinks he knows.
You find yourself stuck. You're sick, lost, and you force it down like its wrong - because it is wrong. It's as wrong as what you were doing now was.
Somehow somewhere the bazooka had malfunctioned. You find yourself watching the sleeping face of your hidden desire, staring intently as you tried to remember what had led to this. However the years had dulled your mind and you grasp at the straws of what little you could remember beyond the fact that Tsuna had once upon a time given you candy.
Your lips are suddenly very dry, and your heart is palpitating wildly, like gunfire it rattled in your chest. You inch closer, stiffen when Tsuna lets out a low groan. You wait until he relaxes back into undeterred sleep before you relax. In the moment, it doesn't even occur to you that the time had long past five minutes.
Instead, you catch yourself staring at bitten lips, chapped and uneven from nervous chewing. You lean in, unaware of your actions until he is a touch away, when you're sure if he was awake, he could feel your heavy breath on his cheek.
This was wrong, you aren't supposed to feel this way towards him. Tsuna was your older brother. He was your boss. He was the one who put full trust in your abilities even when others belittled you for your family background and age. He had the smile of an army of angels, at once sweet and dangerous. His patience ran like the rivers. He was perfect.
You watch him some more, and wonder what his face would look in a fit of passion, what his rosy lips would look wrapped around you, how much his skin would glow from the countless marks you would have marked on him. The thoughts bring a rush of arousal in you, and you scatter back, like he had burned you. (Even though everyone knows he would never hurt you. You have always been his younger brother, after all)
You stare down reluctantly and you hadn't imagined that your jeans had grown tighter in the few moments you had been in the room. Your breath hitched, and you crept away to the bathroom to relieve yourself.
Your heart is heavy when you trudge back, and you freeze when you see that he's awake, rubbing his eyes in an image that warms your centre and everything below. He peers up at you first in confusion, before he cleared his head and spoke out with a rough voice.
"Lambo?" You blink before giving a quiet affirmative. He smiles then, lax from sleep. It was a picture that you wished you could see every day. You envied Kyoko that she could see Tsuna so...defenceless. His words slur in tiredness. "Why are you-? Ah never mind. Come on. Sleep with me."
Your mouth dries with the double entendre, and you start to protest but he gives an impatient huff that has you hurry to his bed. He shifts to accommodate your lanky height and curls against you, sighing in content. From your proximity, you can smell the heady scent of his shampoo. You shift against him, curling your arms around him hesitantly.
He's warm and soft and fitted nicely in your arms. He's everything you wished you had and more. You drew in a thick breath of your brother figure's smell, intoxicated yourself on it, memorise the sweetness that only made your mouth dryer.
You swallow thickly, and choke back a sob as you closed your eyes.
When you wake up, you're back in the right time, and you are in your room. Alone. You stare at the ceiling with a heavy heart, and wished that it didn't hurt anymore. The tears slipped from your eyes and you sobbed into your pillow. Your slip again into unconsciousness and when you wake up, the tears have crusted your eyes and the snot is dried in your nose. You also find a grape flavoured sweet, one of your favourite brands, on your desk. A card is placed carefully upon it, with familiar writing imprinted neatly and purposefully.
Are you feeling alright? Come and talk to me when you feel like it, it says, and it's obvious who it's from.
It only makes the weight in your chest heavier.
I feel like someone above is staring down on me very disapprovingly. I should probably write something with a happy ending soon. Ah well.
Anyway, review if you wanna.
Hm... I feel like writing happy stuff, so if you want I can do requests (probably). Send some prompts through PM or review and I'll try to write it out. I feel weird doing this since obviously I'm not popular enough to actually get requests but, eh, fuck it.
Don't do anything NSFW though. I'm not a big fan. Nor am I of happy incest or pedophilia (yes, I do have an ongoing series with both of that but those pairings will never get a happy ending btw. Sucks, but such is the way my mind works.) I can sort of do rare-pairs, like L27 (in this), 27MM (in US and Minutiae) or Kawa27 because why not. If you want Bluebell27, or X00 (for some reason) I can try.
Kay, that's settled. I should work on finishing TTLG (Poll's on till somewhere mid-December, so put in your votes pls) and continue on çİş (I have like one paragraph of this first chapter done) and try to think of something for the next chapter of US (might include Gokudera and Yamamoto kidnapping MM if it goes well cos I don't do characterisation)
Busy, busy.
This is gonna end up longer than the actual story so I'll stop now. (awkwardly, as I always do)
