Yeah, this sucks, it's my first real attempt at humor, but I couldn't quite help myself. It's based off a hilarious panel clip between Troy Baker and Ali Hillis at EXPcon 2010, aptly titled "Snow VS Lightning." You can find it on YT. Enjoy the fic!
There was never a dull day on Gran Pulse. No, there was always some bloodthirsty creature out to get them, or some crevasse of the region to get lost in—and of course, it was Lightning who got the unfortunate job of leading this unfortunate lot to where they needed to go. Well, perhaps not an unfortunate job... but certainly not an easy one, either. Despite what Fang said, "hell" seems like an apt description of the place, what with Behemoth Kings and Gorgonopsids in every which direction, ready to impale them once or twice with an array of claws and/or teeth.
Now with that said, it seemed that things within the group weren't always cohesive either. Even with big beasties out to get them, the word solidarity didn't always have a meaning outside battle...
Presently, that appeared to be the case between Snow and Fang. All morning they'd been bickering about something; and although Lightning hadn't found it worth her time to be attentive, the phrase "better Sentinel" seemed be thrown around quite a bit. Even after a morning of traveling the Archylte Steppe and the subsequent decision for a break, they showed no sign of giving it a break. The rest of the team had wisely kept their distance: Vanille and Hope were a way's off together and Sazh had isolated himself near the edge of the clearing with the chocobo, giving a tired sigh and scratching his head. As for Lightning, she could be found a few yards away from the quarreling, leaning against a tree.
What the hell is wrong with them...
She momentarily closed her eyes, muscles tightening when she noticed sudden movement in her peripheral. It was Snow striding over to her, and he seemed unusually tense. In fact, it almost looks like he's...
"Hey, Light," Snow greeted, giving his trademark grin, although he was still oddly rigid. Behind him, Fang was smirking.
Lightning, rightfully suspicious, folded her arms across her chest and eyed him warily. "...What, Snow."
"Go screw yourself."
Vanille gasped.
Hope's mouth was agape.
Sazh's head fell forward.
"Kweh!"
...Right.
OK, so that was about the last thing she'd expected to happen today. You know, having Snow tell her off and all that. To be entirely honest, she was more concerned for his mental health than anything. After all, not that long ago, she would have decked him for something like that, no questions asked. But he didn't know that she'd grown out of that. Hey, what was actually stopping her from doing that now, anyway?
Fang was snickering. Hmmm...
Decidedly, Lightning lifted her chin and took a step forward, murder in her eyes. Inwardly, she was smirking. "I'm sorry, what? I didn't quite hear that—did you want to say that a little louder?"
Snow's façade faltered, responding quickly, "No, not really, 'cause you kinda scare me a little bit—"
"'Cause I got this gunblade right here, and it's a lot bigger than any blade that you've got."
Snow stopped dead. Blue eyes betrayed his shock as he blinked back and forth between Lightning and Fang. After a minute, he said somewhat dumbly, "Fang, I don't think that was supposed to happen."
Fang busted out laughing.
Lightning smothered a grin. Target acquired.
"I don't think so, mate," Fang said, stepping forward, hands on her hips, still laughing, completely unaware. "Fact is, I think our dear leader's grown more than she let on. Before, she would've just cocked a fist and—"
Snap!
Lightning's fist connected with Fang—
—and Fang dutifully connected with the ground.
"...Ow."
Lightning let herself smirk now, standing over the fallen Pulsian. "Wasn't that what you wanted, Fang?" she asked, faux sweetness audible in her voice.
The other woman made no move to get up. Instead, she cradled her jaw with one hand, looking dazed. "Well, yeah," she muttered, stuttered, "but I kind of... wanted to have Steelguarded or... something, first..."
"Aren't Sentinels responsible for being on guard and defending the rest of us?" Lightning asked, and looked back and forth between the two. They looked at her, and then each other. "Looks like you both have some work to do."
Reviews and feedback are very welcome.
