Valentines Day

Pam sat in front of her closet contemplating her options. She wanted to surprise Roy. Valentines day was supposedly the day of love. Even though Roy was her fiancé, something about this seemed wrong. She'd never done something this risky. She was thinking about wearing a sort of dress-up, secret, sexy secretary outfit. She had a full coat she could use to cover up and then when Roy came up to visit him she could take him out and show him her outfit. She had thought it was a wonderful idea last night. However, in the morning light it seemed dumb. They'd promised no big gifts but she'd feel guilty if she got him nothing. She fished around in her closet. All she had that was even close to what she wanted was the lingerie she'd bought years ago when he'd proposed. It was red and lacy, with bows everywhere. She sighed and changed into the outfit. She put a button up shirt over it and wore a slightly shorter skirt than normal. Though she was fully clothed and had her long coat on she still felt dirty and exposed.

She went into the kitchen sighing at the dishes Roy had left in the kitchen. She knew he had to leave earlier than her but honestly he could've cleaned up something. She also noticed the cigars, beer cans, and playing cards still laying out. She also noticed something greenish in pieces on the corner. He must've had friends over last night when she'd went to bed with a headache. She threw down her purse and started cleaning up, leaving whatever was on pieces on the floor for later.

When she finished she went to her car and started it. She kept pulling down her skirt hoping it would make her feel more pure. She honestly had no idea why she was doing this. Maybe it was the current wild streak she felt inside her. She was so completely done with this boring job, and this stupid cleaning up after Roy routine. She wanted change. She wanted to be the bad girl for once, FOR ONCE. Even goody-two shoes Angela was a secret bad girl. She was the boring school girl, not even a sexy school girl. A stupid schoolgirl in a beige turtle neck, who dropped her art pencils. She wanted someone to think of her when they had their dirty fantasies. She knew for a fact Roy did not. He'd basically admitted it to her. He'd told her it was fair because she probably dreamed about Johnny Depp or something. He never lost the argument, so she had been forced to push the pain deep inside her.

Just this weekend when she'd all but begged Roy to take her out, and he'd checked out the waitress. Of course he'd denied it. After the stupid no good date he'd basically forced her to have sex with him. He'd guilted her into it by proclaiming all the money spent that night had come out of his paycheck. Pam was under the impression they shared all their money now. He obviously didn't think anything like that. So She'd had sex with him and as usual it was all about his pleasure points, and what made him happy.

She was still mad at him for that, but she couldn't take this pressure building up inside her anymore. She hoped seducing him in the office would help this useless cycle she was in. She felt sick to her stomach imagining it playing out. Somehow Roy always made her feel dirty. Not in a good way, in a really bad way. She used to think it was because she wasn't very sexually active in her high school life. When she'd met him, he'd been her first. She had mistaken her uneasy feelings for stress about her first time, and if she'd do it right. She'd noticed more and more recently that it was more than that. She also remembered some things that she'd tried very hard to forget. Like when he'd come home drunk and lie on top of her as she was still sleeping. She never gave consent but just went along because she knew the sex wouldn't last as long as the fight they'd have if she refused. Also the times when they were young and in public and he'd pawed at her skirts even when she begged him to stop. She hadn't even wanted to have sex until he'd proposed but he'd guilted her into it like everything else.

Like it usually did her mind wandered to Jim. She wondered if he would appreciate the outfit she'd put together. She slipped into a fantasy about a certain co worker. She imagined showing him what she'd prepared for him and the goofy grin that would spread across his face. She thought of his soft lips, his hands moving further and further down. She imagined him caressing her face and mumbling how much he loved her against her lips. She imagined him groaning "Oh Beesley." She then forced herself to imagine Jim pulling his hands away and calling her a whore. This was how she punished herself for those thoughts, which she seemed to have more and more often.

When she had these thoughts she'd find new creative ways to punish herself. Sometimes she would continual call herself a dirty slut and other self deprecating phrases. Other times she'd pack the fridge with lots of beer for Roy. She knew when Roy was intoxicated he would be a bit too rough and forceful. The bruises would remind her to keep her mind out of the gutter.

She eventually pulled into the Scranton parking lot. She got out and locked her car. She traveled in and to the elevator. She hung her jacket on the coat rack and sat down at her desk. Pam sighed as she started her work. She was anxious, but also excited for the things she'd planned for Roy.

She felt something hit her arm. She looked up and saw a concerned looking Jim. How could he tell she was down? She'd only been there five minutes. She gave him a small smile and he immediately got up and walked over to her desk. Jim leaned against her desk, and pretended to be getting candy.

"Why so glum Beesley?" He asked with a famous Jim grin.

"Oh just tired," she responded. "I had a headache last night and it made it really difficult to sleep."

"I know something that might cheer you up," he commented slyly.

"What!" She asked eagerly.

"Oh wait and see, Patience Beesly," Jim winked and walked back over to his desk. He looked over at Dwight.

"Hey Dwight," Jim said slowly.

"What Jim," he barked.

"What'cha drinking?" Jim questioned.

"That's a stupid question, but if you must know I'm drinking coffee, black coffee" he finished proudly.

"Oh that stuff is way too mild for me," Jim announced and took out a bottle of jalapeño hot sauce. He threw his head back and gulped it down. Dwight stared at him with a an awed expression.

"I could do that," Dwight said exasperated.

"Alright, let's make a bet, whoever can drink the whole thing first gets an extra hour on their lunch break," Jim offered.

"Who would authorize that?" Dwight asked quizzically.

"Dwight," Jim said with fake bafflement. "Are you not the assistant regional manager?"

"Well, assistant to the regional manager," he said drearily.

"So what Dwight!" Jim yelled banging the desk. "It's time to take a stand and take an extra hour on lunch!"

"Yeah!" Dwight pounded the desk as well. "Lets do it!" He yelled as Jim pulled out two fresh bottles of Jalapeño hot sauce. Jim placed one in front of himself and the other in front of Dwight.

"GO!" Jim yelled and the two put the lips to their bottles. Jim drank fast and calmly. However, Dwight drunk a bit then hissed at the taste. Jim drank smiling at Dwight. Dwight sputtered as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was screaming now and clawing at his tongue with his hand. Jim finished up slowly.

"Done!" he yelled slamming the bottle down.

"What?" Dwight gasped.

"I guess I win huh?" Jim grinned cheekily. Dwight just stared at him as he got up and sauntered to Pam's desk. She looked at him in awe as he smiled at her.

"How the-" She started

"Tomato juice," He murmured in his husky sexy whisper. Suddenly she was filled with love for the man in front of her. He was hilarious and knew just how to make her smile. Roy would've loped around and quote some joke he'd made 5 years ago, hoping it would make her laugh again now. It was like Roy didn't understand she'd changed and grown, but Jim, oh Jim changed for her. Jim would do anything for her. She was overflowing with so much love that she literally had to clench her chair to stop from getting up and hugging him. He seemed to notice a different gleam in her eye. He crinkled his eyebrows.

"What?" He asked.

"That was awesome!" She giggled. He smiled widely at her. She felt like she was drunk, like she'd been at the dundies. She laughed even louder. Jim started laughing too. They realized their mistake when Michael wandered out of his office to see what the laughter was about.

"Heyyyyy," He drawled. "Whats up my diggity dogs?" He asked grinning.

"I was just telling Pam a joke," Jim lied. Michael nodded and started to go away, but then he turned back and looked at Pam. He studied her and long smile spread over his face.

" Pam!" He exclaimed excitedly. "You're wearing a low cut top, and mini skirt!" He cried joyfully. She looked at Jim desperately and saw him examine her and his cheeks go bright pink.

"Oh Pammy and Roy sitting in a tree F-U-C-"

"MICHAEL!" Angela yelled angrily. Pam had never liked Angela more. She covered her face dejectedly.

"Oh come on Angela," He laughed. "We all knew Roy was getting some anyway, Ha" He laughed again. "Guys somebody should go tell Roy," Michael said excitedly.

"Yeah!" Dwight laughed punching the air. Michael was grinning happily that someone liked his idea. Kevin was smiling as well. Jim was still frozen with rosy cheeks. Angela had turned around exasperatedly. Pam felt trapped as she watched Michael gather troops to go down to the warehouse.

"Stop!" Pam screamed. Michael turned around smile faded a bit. "I swear to God Michael Gary Scott," She began. " If you go anywhere near the warehouse I will... I will," she stopped to think. His grin started coming back, but then she thought of something. "I will delete all calls from Jan, I won't forward them, I'll rip up any memo, or fax she sends, you'll have no clue if she tried to contact you on Valentines Day," Pam finished confidently. Michael's face fell and she knew she'd won. Michael mumbled some swear words and shuffled back into his office.

"Wow, Beasley that was something," Jim commented. She could still see some remnants of the blush he'd had, but for the most part he'd pulled himself together. She nodded at him. She needed a moment. Jim must've guessed and went back to his seat.

The rest of the day went slowly. Pam, however, felt enriched with confidence. She was more than ready to present herself to Roy. She texted him when she knew he was having his lunch. She got no reply. She wondered if she'd implied what she wanted correctly. Twenty minutes later Roy came sluggishly into the office. He laid his head on her desk and mumbled, "What?" She was confused at his attitude. She ushered him out into the hallway. She smiled up at him and kissed him. Surprisingly he pushed her off.

"Pam what is this?" He asked. She was baffled.

"Your valentine's day gift," she tried to say sexily. She unbuttoned her top button and showed him a glimpse of her lingerie. He frowned and looked around hurriedly. He started messing with his belt and sighing.

"Alright let's get this over with," He mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Pam asked.

"Can we hurry it up I need to get back to work and this will put me behind, but if you really need to," he said exasperatedly. She stared at him in disbelief. He was unbelievable.

"Am I a roadblock?" She demanded.

"Well a bit Pam, we did make love a few nights ago," He said rolling his eyes.

"You call coming home wasted, and waking me up at three to suck you off making love?" She almost screamed. He looked at her like she was insane.

"Tone it down," He whispered. "Look I have to get back to work, so I can make money for these stupid dates you want to go on. I don't have time for this now," he growled and started walking.

"Oh by the way, did you clean up the stuff from last night," He asked. She didn't respond. "Sorry about the teapot we were thirsty I would've cleaned it up but you're better at that stuff, I didn't want to do it wrong. i have no idea how to clean up glass shards."

"What," she snapped and whipped around. "Which teapot?" She growled.

"The greenish blue one I think," He shrugged. Pam knew immediately it was the one Jim had given her. She felt her eyes prickle with tears and anger rise in her heart. She knew she shouldn't have brought it home to wash it properly.

"Fuck You," She snarled.

"What?" Roy asked confused.

"Fuck you, we are DONE!" Pam screamed.

"Pammy come on," He said sweetly.

"Don't call me that! I hate that nickname!" She screeched back. "We are done, It's my apartment if you haven't got your stuff out by the end of this week I'm calling the cops," She announced. Roy looked confused and angry.

"We'll talk about this later when you're less bitchy," he mumbled and took off downstairs.

"There's nothing to say we're through," She yelled at the back of him. She was still running on her adrenaline high and she knew what she wanted to do. She marched into the Office again.

"Jim," she barked. "Come with me!" She demanded grabbing his hand. He was baffled but followed her. She lead him into the break room. Thankfully there was no one there. She dragged him into the women's bathroom and into an empty stall. She locked the door and turned to him with a seductive look on her face. She threw her arms around his neck and clashed her lips with his. His body stiffened but then relaxed into her soft skin.

It felt so right. It felt better than it ever had with Roy. She deepened the kiss longingly. His arms went around her. He kissed her hungrily like a man who was starving. She kissed him back in the same way. Her tongue begged for entrance and he gratefully gave it. She moved closer to him as her hands wandered around his body. She placed her mouth on his neck now and sucked gently. She heard him groan. She smiled. Roy grunted, Jim groaned. She liked Jim's sounds much better. She felt his hands go up her shirt and caress her breasts slightly. She shivered. He then pulled his hands out and started fumbling with the buttons of her shirt. She continued kissing his neck and sometimes biting. He let out whimpers when she bit it a little harder than before. She was about to unbuckle his belt when he gently pushed her back.

"What the Hell am I doing?" He asked. She noticed his hair was messy and his lips were swollen from kissing. "You're engaged!" he exclaimed.

"No," she whispered.

"What?" He asked.

"We broke up, I can't take him anymore," She said dejectedly. She felt tears start to form and she looked down. "I've always liked you Jim, I tried not to but I do," she felt the sobs growing. "I just love you so much, and I thought you might want me too, but if you don't I- I understand," she gasped.

"Hey," Jim soothed and lifted her face up to his. He wiped away her tears. "You have no idea how much I love you," He told her earnestly. "I want you, trust me, I want you, but I think we should wait till things with Roy all get settled and you calm down, but don't ever think for a second I don't want you."

"Jim," she said with a large smile.

"Hm?" He asked still caressing her face lightly.

"I love you."

"I love you too," He whispered and kissed her forehead. They started to straighten themselves up and leave the bathroom. Before Pam went out the door Jim grabbed her sleeve.

"Just because we can't use it today doesn't mean that lingerie isn't good for nothing," He winked.

"Oh Halpert," She ginned coyly. "those old things were just the beginning, wait till you see what I have in store for you," she said with a cheeky grin. Jim went beet red but he was still grinning. Pam looked down at his bulging pants. "Might want to fix that before you go out," She advised and he went even redder if possible. He quickly escaped with her and headed towards the men's room.

For the first time in many, many years, Pam felt happy. She felt like dancing. She felt light and free. Most of all she felt hopeful, an emotion she hadn't experienced in forever. She was happily awaiting the coming days with Jim, she knew with him every day would be as interesting as this one.