So, after rereading the edited original of the same name on my page, I decided I didn't much like it, and have now rewritten it. I will keep the original there, but I believe this one is much better. Although I did write this at 2 am and probably didn't spend nearly as much time as I should have on it, I think it turned out a lot better.
Anyways, enough rambling!
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin... I probably would have ruined it with my love for angst and torturing my favorite characters.
"You, Adriana Penforth, have been accused of practicing sorcery. The witness to your crimes states that 'the accused used magic in order to kill a member of the town.' As there is no proof of your innocence in this matter, I, Arthur Pendragon, find you guilty of treason, and sentence you to death. You shall be hanged, tomorrow at dawn."
The young girl, barely ten years of age, fell to her knees before the king, sobbing at her fate. "Please, sire. I didn't kill him! I admit to using magic, but I was only trying to help! Please, at least allow me time to see my family. They are so worried! Please sire. I beg of you."
The king in turn, looked at the girl with cold eyes. "You're fate has been sealed, girl. There is nothing I can do for you. Guards, to her to her cell."
Immediately, Adriana was pushed to her feet and dragged out of the room, still sobbing in despair. Sighing, Arthur dismissed the court, and made his way back to his chambers. Trials were exhausting, all he wanted to do was to sleep it off.
Arthur had just entered his room and was on his way to his bed when he was yanked back by his shoulder. Turning and reaching for his sword in anger, he came face to face with Merlin, whose eyes were read and skin pale. Arthur calmed, and removed his hand from the hilt of his blade.
"What was that?" Merlin hissed to him
"That, Merlin, was me performing my duty to the people, protecting them threats like these. She was a sorceress, she broke the law and brought it on herself. That, was justice."
Merlin shook his head, a dark look clouding his face.
"That was not justice. You were not protecting anyone Sire. That, was sentencing a ten-year-old girl to death because she tried to save the life of an innocent man. That was not justice, that was needless murder!"
Merlin's eyes were so filled with rage and grief, that Arthur almost had to take a step back. He was surprised at the venom in his servants voice, and he blinked, trying to process the words his friend had said. Arthur began to grow angry, Merlin had no right to talk to him in that manner!
"Oh, and what do you know about justice, Merlin? As far as I'm concerned you're just a servant! You know nothing about justice! You've seen just as well as I have that magic corrupts. Even if that girl is not evil now, she will become so later if she is allowed to roam free. I am doing that girl a favor!" Arthur took a breath, and his next words came out as a hiss. "You think I enjoy sentencing children to death, Merlin? I don't. I am doing what's best for this kingdom, I am protecting my people from the horrors of magic; it's evil."
Merlin's glare hardened at those words, and he grit his teeth together. "It is not magic that is evil Arthur. It does not have a side. Magic is a weapon, like your precious sword! It is those who wield it who decide how to use it!"
Merlin quieted, hands clenched into fists, and eyes hard as stone. He had to resist the urge to growl at the laugh coming from the king's mouth.
"Oh, really Merlin. And what do you know about magic? Since when have you become an expert in the subject? Magic corrupts, Merlin. It turns good people, and turns them into thieves and murderers. Just look at Morgana! Look what magic did to her. Look me in the eyes, and tell me that it was not magic, that corrupted her so, Merlin. Look me in the eyes, and tell me!"
Merlin looked down, his anger fading away only to be replaced with hurt weariness. He was tired. Tired of lying, tired of hiding. "I know a lot more than you think, Arthur." he said quietly
Arthur looked at his servant, his friend. He had been acting strange lately, ever since he had started up executions again. He didn't understand why that had caused Merlin to be so much more emotional than usual.
"Merlin..." He said, taking a step forward.
Arthur froze when Merlin looked up, terrified of the hurt and betrayal in his teary eyes. He watched, as the hurt was slowly replaced with anger, and took a step backwards. At that moment, he was terrified of his friend.
"You know nothing, Arthur. Nothing! You have absolutely no idea what it's like to be hunted, to be afraid for your life every single minute of every single day! You don't understand what it's like to have to live in the shadows, and hide who you really are. You know nothing. I thought you were a good man Arthur, I thought you had changed. But no. You're still just like your father."
Arthur growled. "Merlin..."
Merlin just took a step back and shook his head, anger ebbing away once again. "No. I can't keep doing this anymore."
At that, Merlin turned and fled from the room, leaving Arthur frozen in place. He sighed and sat down, rubbing his face. What was Merlin talking about?
It was only a moment later when Gwen walked into the room, a curious yet angry expression on her face. "Arthur, what did you say to Merlin? I just saw him run out of here in tears."
Arthur sighed. "We... had a disagreement. He didn't agree with my decision to execute the girl."
Gwen sighed and glared at her husband. "Whatever you said to him hurt him, Arthur. You need to find him and apologize."
Nodding, he stood up, hugging his wife for a moment. "You're right Gwen, as always."
He gave her a quick peck on the lips before walking out of his chambers.
Now, where did that bumbling idiot go?
Arthur decided to check with Gaius first. If anyone knew where Merlin goes when greatly upset, it would be him.
Knocking on the door, Arthur walked in to see Gaius looking through some books. "What brings you here sire?" he asked, not looking up from the text.
Arthur sighed. "Have you seen Merlin within the last few minutes? I need to speak with him."
Gaius finally looked up, taking off his reading glasses to look at Arthur. "Why, may I ask, do you need to speak with him?"
"We had a disagreement, and I'm afraid I said some things that I regret. I believe I must apologize."
Gaius softened his features, although he did look a bit disappointed in the king. "When he is upset, he goes to the forest or to the tower in the west wing. I believe since it is fairly cold out today, that he will be in the tower."
Arthur nodded. "Thank you Gaius."
Running from the room when fighting with Arthur probably wasn't the manliest thing to do, but Merlin had to get out of there. He couldn't hold his emotions in any longer, and he was afraid that he would burst and do something he would regret. So, he had fled.
Now, sitting in the tower in the west wing, Merlin looked out at the busy streets of Camelots, as people ran their last minute errands before the sun set. He sighed, and buried his head in his hands. He was such an idiot, he should never have let himself get so emotional. It would have been way to easy to let something slip, and after that conversation, Merlin knew that his friend was far from ready to learn that he had magic.
Tears ran from his eyes at the thought, and he scrubbed at his face violently. He was being pathetic, hiding away from the world because his feelings had been hurt. Arthur was right, he really was a coward.
Footsteps sounded from the stairs, and Merlin sighed. He did not want to see anyone at the moment, but knew that he wouldn't get away with the confrontation. He knew that it was most likely Arthur, coming to see why he was so upset, and a pit formed in his stomach. He was not in any shape to be facing the king.
He turned his face back to the window, and as the door opened, he kept his blank gaze on the sky. He was afraid that he would burst into tears if he looked at Arthur.
"Merlin."
Hearing the sound of the king's voice, Merlin tensed, but kept his eyes to the window. He heard and sigh, and felt Arthur sit next to him, as he tried to grab his attention again. "Merlin."
Merlin sniffed, and turned his face even farther away from his friend, and felt a stab of guilt when he heard Arthur sigh again. The man hadn't known that those words would affect him so much, and he was obviously exhausted. Merlin really should have just let the matter go.
"Merlin, please look at me."
Shaking his head, Merlin brought his knees up to his chest, trying to hold back his tears. He whimpered when he felt a hand grab his chin, and was unable to do anything as Arthur turned his face.
"I don't know why you reacted as you did earlier Merlin, but I know it was my fault. I know I have no right to ask you this, but what's bothering you? Something has been eating away at you all week, as soon as the executions started up again. Are they... what's been causing this?"
Merlin sniffed again, doing his best to keep the tears welling up in his eyes from falling. "... Partly." he admitted
"Merlin..." Arthur mumbled
Anger filled Merlin's eyes again, and he pushed Arthur's hand away. "Those people never hurt anyone Arthur! They didn't do anything!"
Arthur narrowed his eyes, momentarily forgetting why he was there. "Merlin, why do you care so much? It sounds to me as though you are supporting sorcery. You know what magic does, Merlin. You know how it corrupts!"
Arthur took a deep breath, noticing that Merlin had retracted himself again, and calmed himself down. "Merlin, what's bugging you."
Merlin sighed, and shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."
"How would you know?"
Merlin shrugged. "I just know."
"Merlin, you have no idea what I can and can't understand when you don't tell me anything. So come on, what's wrong. If you don't tell me as your king... tell me as your friend."
Merlin shook his head, the tears building up once again. They spilled down his cheeks as he was unable to keep them in this time. "I'm just so tired..."
Arthur furrowed his brow. "Tired of what?"
"I'm tired of this! Of hiding and lying. I'm so tired, and I don't know what to do anymore."
Confused, Arthur shook his head. "What are you talking about Merlin?"
Merlin was silent for a moment, before his eyes widened, and he shrank back from Arthur. "Nothing. N-nevermind, it's nothing."
Arthur frowned. "It's not nothing Merlin. What have you been hiding?"
Merlin shook his head, looking down at his hands. "Why... why do you hate magic so much? Why is it so hard for you to understand that it's not evil or corrupting, but it's just a weapon. Why..."
Arthur narrowed his eyes again. "Merlin, you know full well why I hate magic. I can't believe you're defending it like this. What's changed? You sound so knowledgeable about this, but I don't understand why. What do you, a simple servant, know about magic?"
Arthur waited for an answer, and was unnerved at Merlin's silence. It was like the calm before a storm.
Finally, Merlin snapped. He didn't care about the consequences, he didn't care what would happen to him. He was just too tired, he couldn't do this anymore.
"What do I know?"
The question was soft, and at first Arthur was actually asking him what he knew. But as Merlin continued talking, he knew it wasn't so.
"What do I know? Oh, I know a lot more than you think, Arthur. I know what it's like, to constantly be afraid for your life, to have to hide in the shadows, in fear of being killed. I know... Oh, Arthur, I know so much. I know what it's like to be so ashamed of yourself that you make yourself sick! I know pain, and I know grief, and I know fear. Oh believe me Arthur, I know..."
Arthur couldn't hold himself back, even if his heart did sink at those words. Merlin... "Oh, and how is it that a servant has so much knowledge, Merlin? How do you know so much?"
"Because I have magic!"
It was at that moment that everything changed. Arthur froze, staring at his friend, and Merlin's eyes grew wide as he registered what he had just said. When Arthur failed to do anything, Merlin began to scoot back, afraid of what might happen.
The words rang through Arthur's head over and over again. "Because I have magic!" He felt sick, because no... Merlin couldn't have magic. He was Merlin, he was the clumsy servant who always made a fool of himself but always managed to set Arthur on the right track. He couldn't... but looking at his friend, looking at the fear in Merlin's expression, he knew that he was telling the absolute truth.
Arthur began to doubt everything he ever knew about his friend. Merlin has magic. Merlin has magic. Merlin has magic.
Arthur didn't even register what he was doing as he stood up and stared down at Merlin. All he could think of, was that Merlin, his friend, had lied to him, betrayed him, for who knows how long. Was Merlin ever actually his friend? He felt so stupid, allowing himself to be played like that.
"Arthur? Arthur what are you doing? Please, put the sword down."
Merlin's begging voice pierced through his thoughts, and Arthur snapped back to reality. He was horrified when he saw Merlin, cowering at his feet and terrified, and was disgusted in himself when he realized that he was holding a sword in his hand, ready to strike a friend.
There had to be some sort of explanation. Arthur knew that Merlin would never betray him. He just needed to hear Merlin's side of the story.
He looked at his friend to ask him to explain, but saw nothing but empty air. Merlin had gone, fled in the moment that Arthur was not paying attention.
He dropped his sword and put his head in his hands. What kind of a friend was he?
Merlin ran.
He ran through the corridors as tears clouded his vision, adrenaline pushing him forward.
Arthur...
Arthur had raised his sword at him. He'd... it was almost like the man standing above him wasn't even Arthur. When Merlin had been crouched and pleading at his feet, he did not see his friend. The only thing he could see was Uther Pendragon, standing above him and ready to strike.
He had been so scared. He knew that Arthur would react bad to finding out his secret, but he never expected for him to raise his sword to him, sorcerer or not.
Merlin just wished he had the chance to explain.
As the adrenaline left him, Merlin was left exhausted, and he slid down a wall to sit. He had no idea where he was, but he didn't care.
Arthur will come around. I know he will. He has to...
Merlin really hoped so, but there was a voice in the back of the head telling him to run. Telling him that Arthur was going to kill him.
Unable to stop it, sobs wracked Merlin's shoulders as the situation in it's entirety dawned on him.
He had told Arthur his biggest secret, and his friend had tried to kill him.
Eventually, Merlin stopped crying, and just stared at the ceiling.
Maybe, it was for the best. Maybe it would be better for everyone if he wasn't around.
He was tired. He thought that letting Arthur know he had magic would relieve some of the burden on his shoulders, but telling him had only added more weight. Merlin felt like he was carrying the world on his shoulders, and he couldn't do it for much longer. He wasn't strong, he wasn't brave. He wasn't some amazing warlock who was going to save the day. He was just a boy with too much burden to bear, and no one to share it with, and he was going to break. It was just a matter of time.
Merlin was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn't notice when someone came to sit down beside him.
"Merlin?"
Jumping, Merlin turned to see Arthur right beside him, and reeled backwards, fear plaguing his mind like a nightmare.
Arthur's gaze saddened. "You're afraid of me."
Merlin opened his mouth to deny it, but Arthur just shook his head. "I should not have raised my sword to you, I apologize. I realize that there is probably a lot to explain to me... and I know I scared you. I just, I need time to think. Go get some rest Merlin. Meet me in my chambers in the morning, we have a lot to talk about."
The two separated for their own chambers, and Merlin was left feeling slightly relieved. Arthur didn't hate him. He was anxious about telling Arthur his story, what if he didn't believe him?
Merlin just wanted to sleep, so he stopped thinking about everything and just relaxed.
For once, he didn't dream of being lit on the pyre.
The next morning, Merlin woke up and ran to Arthur's room without stopping for breakfast. If he hurried, he might be able to stop the execution of Adriana. The girl did not deserve to die.
Merlin burst into Arthur's chambers, to see Arthur already up and perched on his desk, waiting for his friend to arrive.
Merlin gasped for air, but did not stop to think. "Adriana... what... about... her?"
Arthur smiled. "Her execution has been delayed until noon. Now it's up to you to stop it all together, it just depends on what you tell me."
Merlin grinned in joy, happy that he saved her, at least for now. His joy faded though, when he saw Arthur's expression.
"The one question I have for you, is when did you start practicing magic? How long have you been a sorcerer?"
Merlin sighed. "I'm not a sorcerer."
Arthur frowned. "What?"
"I'm not a sorcerer. I'm a warlock."
"What's the difference."
Merlin sighed again. "A sorcerer learns magic of their own free will, a warlock... a warlock is born with it."
Arthur's eyes widened. "That's not possible."
Merlin shrugged. "It is, it's just... very rare."
"So... so if you were born with magic..."
"I never had any say in what I was. Believe me Arthur when I say, that I have never used my magic against you. I am your friend, and I would never betray you like that."
Arthur smiled. "I know that Merlin. You're probably the most loyal person I've ever met, more so than the knights. One last question before you start your story. You... earlier you said you were ashamed of who you were, but if it was so bad, why didn't you just stop practicing magic?"
Merlin pursed his lips. "It's... hard to explain. I guess you could say that magic is a large part of me, people would say that I am magic. If I stopped using magic... I would lose a huge part of myself... I don't think I would be able to live."
Arthur nodded, sympathy rising in his stomach. He never knew Merlin felt that way.
Merlin smiled a bit, before shaking his head. "Alright, enough of that. Where would you like me to start?"
Arthur smirked. "The beginning. Tell me everything."
It took a while or Merlin to finish telling Arthur his story, especially since Arthur kept bursting in with comments whenever something surprised him. By the time he had finished, it was almost noon.
Arthur took a moment to contemplate everything he said, before making a decision.
He stood up and strode past Merlin, leaving him confused.
"Arthur? Where are you going?"
Arthur's voice sounded from the hallway. "To make some changes that should have been made a long time ago."
Merlin rolled his eyes, and got up to follow the king. He was confused when he realized that he had called a meeting with his advisers, and stood in the background as Arthur made his announcement.
"In light of some information that has recently made itself known to me, I have made a decision."
The council was silent, waiting for their king to explain. "The girl, Adriana Penforth, is to be released at once, and the ban on magic is to be lifted tomorrow morning."
Merlin froze, his jaw dropping open, and laughed as the council broke out into chatter.
"But my lord -"
"Are you sure this is a good idea-"
"Finally. Took your time -"
"Silence!"
Arthur calmed the council, and stood up. "My decision is final. Guards, release the girl. You are dismissed."
Arthur turned towards his servant, friend, and was but with the largest, happiest grin he had ever seen on his manservant's face.
"Oh, Arthur, thank you so much! I have no idea what to say, it's just so-"
Arthur laughed. "It's fine Merlin. I understand. Let's go tell the knights of this event."
It was the next morning that Arthur stood on the balcony in front of his people and made the announcement.
"Recently, I was given some information that changed my view on many things. For years, I believed these same things, and it took a while, but I have realized, that my father was wrong. Anyone can pick up a sword, but that does not define whether the sword is evil or not. It is but a tool, neutral in all manners, and it is the person wielding the tool, that decides where they stand. The sword does nothing to sway their decision, and like the sword, I have learned that magic is the same.
"Magic is not a force of evil, it is not a force that corrupts good men. Magic is like a sword, it is a weapon with no sides. So from this day forth, I, Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, hereby repeal the ban on magic. May those who practice in the art of sorcery be judged like any other man who is judged, for their crime, not for their weapon. From this day forth, magic may once again make it's way into Camelot, and let it be used as a force for good, as a good friend of mine taught me was possible.
"My people, my friends, you no longer have to fear punishment for using the tool that is magic."
Arthur looked back to Merlin, and saw his ridiculously happy face, and he knew what he had to do.
"My father was a good king, but he was wrong in his view of magic. He saw it as an evil, vile thing, and he tossed it out. He wanted nothing to do with it. He started the Great Purge, and many lives, innocent lives, were lost. But never again, I say. Never again, shall a mother or a father, a son or a daughter, a friend or foe, lose their lives because of something they practice.
"Today, I welcome a new era, an era of peace. Where magic users, and common folks can live together in peace. In order to truly begin this era, there is one more thing I must do.
"Once, before the ban on magic was issued, there was another position in the Royal Council. The position, of a Court Sorcerer. In the Purge, this position was cast out of the council, but today, I welcome it again with open arms. Once again, there will be a Court Sorcerer helping to run this great country.
"Of course, in order for the position to truly exist, there must be someone appointed to it. So today, I welcome one of my greatest friends, who started off as a simple boy who came to Camelot looking for a new life, and in doing so, became the servant of a prince. Today, I welcome the new Court Sorcerer, Merlin of Ealdor."
Arthur looked behind him to see Merlin, staring awestruck at him. Arthur grinned. "Well, come one Merlin. Let them see you!"
With a little more encouragement, Merlin stepped forward until he was standing beside his king, his friend, and a smile broke out on his face. A few people in the crowd below were unhappy with this change, but most were cheering. Most knew Merlin, knew how kind he was, and knew he deserved to be where he was now, even if it was surprising that he was a sorcerer.
Because how could such a bumbling idiot be a warlock?
The official repeal of the ban happened the morning after the announcement, and the ceremony to make Merlin Court Sorcerer was that afternoon.
No longer was he just a servant boy donned in simple outfit of trousers, a shirt, jacket and neckerchief. Now, Merlin was a man, dressed in dark trousers, and a midnight blue doublet, and in his hand was a beautiful but simple staff, carved from the branch of an old oak tree, and topped with a gleaming moonstone. Everything about his appearance was magical, and it made Arthur laugh.
Merlin was granted his new title, and a feast was held in his honor. Arthur made it his personal mission to keep Merlin's ears red for the entire thing - which was turning out to be one of the easiest things he's ever done. Merlin, apparently, is not used to attention.
Once the night was over, Merlin said his good byes, and made his way back to his room. Although technically he was a noble and could have his own chambers, he preferred to stay with Gaius.
Arthur laughed with Gwen in their own room, telling each other stories about the night.
The years passed, and soon Arthur and Gwen had three children, two of whom were learning magic from Merlin.
Even after all those years, Arthur still couldn't quite believe it at times. He had learned of Emrys, and knew how much power Merlin held, and he had no idea how his friend had always managed to stay so pure and good hearted.
Merlin was truly a mystery.
There you have it! A little cheesy at the end, but I was in the mood to give Merlin a really happy ending. Maybe Arthur changed just a little too fast? I dunno, I'll figure it out later.
If you guys have never seen a moonstone before, look it up. They are absolutely gorgeous. I thought they would be something Merlin would pick.
So, it is currently 4 in the morning, and I am going to publish this before I go to bed and see what feedback I get. If in the morning when I finally reread this, I don't like it, I'll just rewrite it again! Woohoo. I'll probably end up editing it a lot, but in my current state I'd probably just mess it up if I tried.
So if you liked this story, let me know. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
Let me know how I did, what you liked, what you didn't, if you want me to add or change or remove something.
Please give me feedback.
I've been reduced to begging.
Please.
Aaaaand thanks for reading this story! If you made it all the way through this author's note then kudos to you!
I am going to bed...
