I've had this idea rolling around in my head ever since reading the Fifty Shades Trilogy. With all of Christian's mother issues, and his insecurities, what would happen if he needed Ana in a way that only she could provide. And by him needing this, it meant she had to rely on him as well in a new, provocative and sensual way.
Characters are not mine, only the storyline. Currently a one-shot but let me know what you think. I'm open to continuation.
Christian POV
I sit here watching Ana bounce a fussy Phoebe in her arms as she paces the family room. This has been going on for over half an hour and Phoebe refuses to settle. She's not hungry, this I know, but still I nervously look at Ana and take a deep breath. "You know you don't have to go back to work. This would be easier if you just stayed home a little longer. You could continue pumping, and you could always nurse her a little longer."
"Christian we have been over this. She isn't hungry. You know this. She had rice cereal mixed with formula as well as some baby food. She's just sleepy and is used to the closeness of nursing. She has come to depend on it as a ritual to go to sleep each night. If I continue to nurse her each morning, noon and night, she will never be weaned. I have an ample supply, but she's getting older and it's just not holding her until her next meal. I've been out of work for almost a year. I'm ready to go back. Just part time. I promise. No more than twenty hours a week. I would miss her and Teddy too much. But I need to reclaim the part of me that goes out into the workforce each day as well. Your mom told us that the first week or two would be the hardest."
I look at Ana again, doubt clouding my mind. I know the words she speaks are truth. Mom said the same thing with Teddy, and now Phoebe, but since we have decided that we may not want to have any more children I don't want this to end. This bond and closeness. My favorite part of the day is in the evenings when Ana is nursing our child, and I'm holding her in my arms. Call me crazy, but nothing touches my heart more than watching her feed our child…her breasts full and pert. I need to know that Teddy and Phoebe are well and cared for. I must know that none of my family are hungry. I suppose it is ingrained in me to be the protector due to my upbringing. But a small piece of me wonders if my mother ever fed me in this way. Did she ever brush a lock of my hair from my face as I fed, as Ana does our children?
I look over to Ana again and Phoebe seems to be settling. Her earlier cries have turned to slight whimpers and her eyes are fluttering closed. A few more moments and she will be sound asleep. Ana smirks and her look seems to relay her thoughts.
"I told you so. She just needed to cry it out a bit longer. She'll get used to it."
I rise and go to Ana and take Phoebe from her. "I'll take her up to her room. Why don't you go ahead and get ready for bed?" I lean down to place a chaste kiss on her beautiful lips and my lips seem to have a mind of their own as they travel down her long neck. "Mmmm. I'll be right up. Be ready Ana, I have plans for you."
She smiles a knowing smile and turns to go up the staircase in front of me. We look in on Teddy as we pass by his room. His nightlight illuminates his features and I can see that he is sound asleep. I leave his door partially ajar and walk into Phoebe's room. I place her gently in her crib and cover her with the thin blanket. She settles immediately and I take a minute to soak in this moment. Who would have ever thought that I would be reluctant for these days of colic and cribs, diapers and middle of the night feedings to pass considering how I acted when Ana was first pregnant with Teddy? I shudder as I think back on that night—the night I left Ana alone and dejected, pregnant and worried. I should have had my ass kicked. I'm just lucky she took me back and didn't hold it against me. I was very unprepared for her pregnancy, and for Teddy for that matter, but he quickly became my world. He and Ana, and later Phoebe. They are my world.
I turn and walk down the hall to go to the master suite. Ana has a warm bath running and a few candles lit. She undresses and then turns to step into the warm water. Before she can sit, I walk behind her and gently place my arms around her chest, pulling her close to me. She flinches slightly as I put pressure on her chest. I immediately notice and turn her to me. "What's wrong, Ana? Are you okay?"
"Phoebe's crying made my milk come down. It's not drying up as quickly as it did with Teddy and I'm a bit sore. I've been trying not to pump, since the more I pump, the more I will continue to make. That's why I'm running a hot bath. I'm hoping it gives me a bit of relief. Your mom said there's medication I can take to help, but I'd rather not take it if I don't absolutely have to."
My lips press into a thin line. Ana has not shared this with me and it hurts me to know she's in pain. I place a deep kiss onto her lips and begin stripping from my clothes. I join her in the bath and pull her to me- my front to her back. I lather up a sponge and begin gently washing her, steering clear of her breasts. I know from experience that they sometimes leak when she's sexually aroused. It has never bothered me-quite the opposite. It turns me on greatly. But Ana seems embarrassed by it at times. I've told her that there is no room for embarrassment between us, but the fact that she can't control it seems to be the issue.
Once she's clean, I quickly clean myself and pull her to me again. I add more warm water and gently rub my hands over her gorgeous body. Her baby weight was lost quickly both times, most likely aided by breast feeding, and she is more beautiful than ever. The subtle curves brought forth by motherhood have only enhanced her beauty. As I get close to her breasts, she moans slightly, and I lift their weight in my palm. They are possibly heavier than I have ever felt them. "Ana, baby, your breasts are so full. I don't think they've ever been this heavy. Are you still in pain?"
Ana looks to me and sighs. "Yes, I suppose I am going to have to pump tonight after all. I'm not sure I can sleep in this condition."
A thought passes my mind and I immediately know that Ana may not like it. My dick hardens at the thought even as I try to pass the thought to the back of my mind. Ana has done well with broadening her horizons, but I'm not so sure she will be on board with this. In the past I have, of course, tasted her breast milk while we were making love. But the thought of regularly suckling from my wife is suddenly all I can think about. I want to make sure Ana is on board, but sometimes talking about things too in depth makes her over think things. Instead of talking, I gently turn her so that her breasts are in front of me, and I make eye contact with her. Gently, ever so softly, I rub my hands down her back and over her shoulders, gently nipping her neck and jaw as I work my way to her lips. "Ana, baby, just relax. Let me make you feel how beautiful you are. Just relax."
"Oh Christian, that feels so wonderful, so good…"
Her words fade and are interrupted as my lips work their way down her collar bone and to her nipples. I gently run my tongue around the hardened pebble and I latch on, tugging the tip of her breast into my mouth.
Ana jerks with a start and I feel her tense. "Christian, as good as this feels, I told you I was full…"
I release her breast with a soft pop. I look up at her and continue my relaxing massage to her back, her shoulders and her hips. "Yes, Ana. I know. But you need to trust me to help you and take care of you. I know you hate to pump. And you know I find your breasts erotic as hell. Let me suckle from you. You'll feel better, and I get the added bonus of feasting on your gorgeous breasts."
Ana's eyes dropped to her breasts as my hands gently began a massage on their tips. Droplets of milk were showing on both nipples and I leaned down to lick them off. "Christian how is this going to help me with my supply problem? The more that is released, well…the more will be made." A blush colored her cheeks and she seemed slightly embarrassed.
I tipped her head so that her eyes met mine. "Ana, again there is no room for embarrassment. What we do is between consenting adults. Our love life and what turns us on is private and there's no wrong or right. You know that I find your full breasts very erotic. Have you ever heard of ANR?"
Ana's face looked perplexed and she shrugged slightly. "No, I haven't."
"It stands for adult nursing relationship. Some people induce lactation even if they haven't had a child. Some people begin after weaning a child from nursing. For most, it is a way to strengthen a bond between partners. Participating in an ANR means that both parties must rely on each other. If we were to do this, I would rely on you for the closeness only you can provide. I would suckle from you, and feed from you. This would turn me on. You would rely on me for the same closeness, but also for relief. You would only pump if I could not be here. Otherwise you would be dependent on me to give you your release and keep you comfortable. Most people do it several times a day to keep supply. It's not just about the milk…that actually has very little to do with it. It's more about the bond and the closeness that we feel when we're together. It's a way of making sure we sit that time aside each day whereas if nursing were not involved, it's easy to push it to the wayside when you get busy."
Ana seemed to digest what I had said. "So essentially, it's scheduling time to be together and nurse? Would you like the taste of my milk? Does it always lead to sex or is it just about the suckling?"
"Ana, baby, there's no wrong or right. For some couples, it always leads to sex or is a type of foreplay. For others, sex is never involved. In fact, some people put ads in certain papers or online looking for lactating women. It's not about the sex for them. It's about the closeness. For us, it can be about whatever we want it to be about. It doesn't have to be forever. It can be something we try and if you don't like it, if it is too much to keep up with, or if I don't like it we can stop. No harm done. But the point of it is to make sure we maintain this closeness…this bond that we have. It's a way of making sure we fit it into our daily lives."
Ana smiled at me, "And you're sure you want to do this?"
I kissed her gently. "I've never been more sure in my life. The question is do you? It's your body. And as you know, we'll have to do this several times a day to maintain supply. Now that Phoebe doesn't need the supply and is eating other foods, I felt comfortable broaching this topic with you."
"So you've thought about this already?"
"Only every time I've seen you nurse…"
Ana giggled and kissed my jaw. "Ok Mr. Gray, I'm willing to try. But if I don't like it, we stop, right?"
"Of course Ana. I would never make you do something you weren't comfortable with."
"So where would you like to nurse? Here in the tub?"
I looked over Ana's milky white skin and saw that she was beginning to get chills from the cooling temperature of the water. "How about we get dried off and move this to the bedroom? You'll be more comfortable and the water has cooled."
She nodded her consent and we both stood to dry off. I toweled off her beautiful body and held her as she stepped from the tub. I lead her to our bedroom, and watched as she climbed into the large bed. Once she was in bed, I placed an extra pillow behind her and then laid down beside her, sliding down slightly in the bed so that I was even with her full breasts. I took one of her nipples into my mouth, and placed both hands around the full breast, massaging as I sucked. My mouth immediately was filled with warm milk, and as I massaged I could feel her full release into my mouth. Once her milk was fully flowing, she groaned in relief.
"Oh Christian, oh! That feels so good, I was so tight. It's never felt like this with the babies."
I smiled around her nipple and looked up to her, taking a break from my feast. "I would hope not my love." I went back to my feast and massaged her breast occasionally with one hand while the other hand made its' way to her pussy. I found it drenched and I begin to gently circle her clit, putting the barest of pressure to it occasionally-enough to turn her on but not enough to stoke the fire. Once her breast felt empty and I was no longer getting a good supply of milk, I moved to her other breast. She arched into my mouth, begging for release from the uncomfortable pressure. I massaged the breast gently at first, then more firmly, ensuring that I got all that her breast had to offer. I kept up the gentle tease on her clit and by the time I had finished with her breast she was panting for release.
"Christian, please! I need you, please!"
Her hands had worked their way to my dick and I knew that our coupling would be short. I entered her quickly, and had to do some deep breathing to prevent myself from coming immediately. I powered into her wet heat over and over, and I could feel her immediately spasm around me, pulling me into the abyss with her. I gently slowed my movements, ensuring that she was coming down from her orgasmic high. I gently kissed her as I pulled out and pulled her into my chest.
"Christian, I don't think I've ever had an orgasm that intense."
"Ana, that was remarkable. Please tell me you enjoyed it because now that I have had a taste of you I don't know that it will be easy to get your breasts off of my mind. I'm already looking forward to suckling from you during the night."
"Christian are you sure this is what you want to do? What will we do about work? What about when you have to go on business trips?"
"Ana, I told you I have thought about this for several years. I've done my research. When we absolutely can't be together, you can pump. Or you can join me on my trips. There's also a such thing as a long lunch break. My office is only about 15 minutes from here. I see lots of long lunches in my future. The question is, is this something that you think you'd want to keep up with? It's going to take work on both of our parts to make it work."
Ana was quiet for a few moments. "Yes, I think I'd like to try it. I've never come like that before. And the feel of your lips on my breast was much different than when I nurse the kids. I'd like to do a little research myself on ANR, but the idea of having you all to myself for periods every day is definitely a plus. Not to mention the way your lips felt on my breasts was amazing. I can't describe it. The strength of your pull with your mouth and the heavy massage to my breast brought a whole different experience to it. Does the taste bother you?"
"Actually quite the opposite. I find it erotic and sweet. It has a wonderful taste."
I bent my head to Ana's breast and pulled sharply to gather another mouthful of milk. I then bent my lips to hers and opened, letting the warm milk fill her mouth. Our lips tangled together and my dick began to harden again. I knew that this new development in our relationship would take some work, but I couldn't wait to see how it evolved and brought us closer. I rolled over to take my wife again, and pulled a pebbled nipple into my mouth. At this rate, she may never lose her supply, and I found that I was perfectly fine with that.
