A/N: Hello everyone! So when the two trailers came out for Battle of the Five Armies I almost cried at the lack of Fili in them, and how characters like Kili and Dwalin appeared more than he did. Don't get me wrong because I love them as well but HELLO? Heir of durin and next in line for the throne should be a bit more prominent...

Anyway, I had hoped for this to have been completed before it released but surprise! Didn't happen! So this is going along with my original plan for my response to the lack of him and why I think that might have been, like the whole buildup during his life to during the quest and at the battle. I've been slowly hacking away at it and it's going to be in four parts: pre, during, in the mountain and the battle and post.

As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien


Chapter 1: Before I Walked Out That Door On A Journey To Reclaim A Homeland

Thorin knew from the moment Fíli was born his path in life had been decided for him. When he was presented with his nephew for the first time he held the slumbering newborn in his arms and he couldn't help but place a gentle kiss onto the blond wisps of hair that graced his head. He knew Fíli would be the guiding light, the beacon of hope their people so desperately needed.

He would grow to be the best King their people would ever have.

Yet as he gazed down upon his tiny nephew he knew that life would not be easy for any of them. The child would never truly understand the beliefs that others would have of him, expectations and pressures he would have to protect the child from until he was of age to begin his training.

Thorin knew he would have to be careful as a lack of watchfulness on his part would see the child, his treasured nephew swept away into a world he was not yet ready for.


It was when Kíli was born that Fíli first heard the words that would follow him through his life. Under the watchful eyes of his parents and his Uncle Fíli had been allowed to settle next to his mother and hold his baby brother for the first time. He wasn't sure what the fuss was about as he looked at the tiny thing in his arms, he couldn't run, he couldn't play or help him steal cookies off the table where his mama had placed them out of his reach, he couldn't do anything.

The disappointment that he felt must have shown on his face for his mother let out a soft chuckle before placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Give it time ghivashith, he may look small now but you were the same when you were born. Give it time and soon you won't be able to shake the little shadow he will become for wanting to be with you."

Fíli nodded hesitantly, unsure of how it was possible but placing his trust in his mother nonetheless.

"Fíli," Thorin said quietly, "having a little brother means that not only is it expected of you, but it is also your duty to help protect him and look after him. Kíli is as much your responsibility as he is your mother and fathers. I know you will not let any of us down."

Fíli dropped his gaze nervously from the Uncle he had only met three days prior. When the dark-haired dwarf had walked through the door Fíli had run off to hide, unsure who the stranger was in the house and unable to cope with all the changes that were occurring in his life. Thorin had left him alone for most of his stay, only talking to Fíli occasionally when the need arose. As Fíli sat there looking down at his tiny brother in his arms he knew that he would never let his brother down, and would do whatever he could to protect him.

"Fíli?" Thorin asked again, "do you understand?"

Fíli looked at his Uncle and nodded.

Expected

Duty

Responsibility

He didn't understand what they meant, but deep down he knew that it was not the last time he would hear them either.


It was when Fíli was ten that he heard those words again.

After their father died Thorin had moved with them into a new house, one that would be able to accommodate the extra dwarf as well as two growing dwarflings whose enthusiasm for life was at times too difficult to keep up with. Kíli, all of five years old and tousled brown hair was allowed to run around wild, or as fast as his little legs would carry him, and Fíli, fiery blond hair and peach fuzz on his cheeks was allowed to do the same.

Except for today.

Fíli and Kíli had been running around the living room, shrieks of laughter echoing around the house from whatever game they had made up for the day and uncaring of the destruction they left in their wake. Dís had been in the kitchen kneading some dough for the evening bread when Thorin entered the house, calling out to announce his return.

Kíli let out a squeal and raced to the front door to greet his Uncle while Fíli stayed behind in the sitting area to pack away their toys whilst his brother was distracted. After pecking a kiss to his sisters' cheek and scooping the wiggling five year old up Thorin proceeded to the sitting room, weary from the day's events and wanting to forget the events he had been faced with that day.

As he entered the room there was a yelp as Fíli tripped on some of the blocks on the floor and the ball that had been clutched to his chest fell from his hands straight into his Uncles path. Not wanting Thorin to hurt himself or Kíli Fíli raced after it only to have Thorin's knee hit his chest and knock him backwards, his head connecting with the corner of the table.

There was silence in the room as Thorin and Kíli looked at Fíli in shock.

"YOU FOOLISH BOY!" Thorin roared, images of the blond human boy he had had to carry to the healers not an hour earlier after running into the path of a horse sprung unbidden into his mind. The blood and the bandages that he had seen after Oin had stabilised him were all he could picture, not the tears that were welling up in bright blue eyes in front of him.

"YOU ARE EXPECTED TO BE RESPONSIBLE! NOT RUN AROUND LIKE A SILLY CHILD!"

"Thorin!" Dís exclaimed from behind him in horror, unable to get to her eldest who scrambled from the floor and out the front door before anyone could stop him with tears streaming down his face and a heartbroken sob falling from his lips.

"Thorin how dare you?!" Dís snarled as she rounded on her brother.

"He is too old for this nonsense of running around!" Thorin snapped back, relenting slightly as Dís snatched a sobbing Kíli out of his arms.

"Might I remind you Thorin, that Fíli is ten years old! He is still a child and as such will have the freedom of one! He may be expected to be a leader in a hundred years brother, but right now YOU are expected to be his Uncle, not his King."

Thorin's shoulders sagged in regret as he looked at his sister who bounced her youngest on her hip, making soothing noises in an effort to calm him down before she could go and search for her other child.

"I had to rescue a human boy after he ran in front of a horse. The boy looked exactly like Fíli," Thorin whispered, gazing over Dís' shoulder to the front door. "All I could see when I looked at Fíli was that boy. Hearing his head connect with the table frightened me Dís, I did not mean to yell as I did."

"Yet you did so anyway," Dís replied sternly. "He is a young boy, as were you once. Need I remind you that you did not start training or shouldering any form of responsibility until you were forty? Next time you feel the need to yell at my son for being a boy, keep that in mind."


Despite Dís' words all those years ago Thorin had forced Fíli to start his training early much to her fury. At fifteen years of age he began going to his classes, studying with Balin and weapons training with Dwalin and at the mere age of twenty he began his training as heir and in the forge; beginning twenty years younger than any other dwarfling in Ered Luin.

At first Fíli assured his mother with innocent eyes and an excited smile that he was fine with it all; that he was looking forward to learning new things and training to become a warrior yet as the years rolled on the workloads began to increase, and so too did the expectations placed on the young princes shoulders.

Thorin watched as his nephew grew into his role, taking every challenge head on and overcoming every hurdle in his path. It pained him to see the once bubbly and chatty blond become sombre and quiet, only speaking when spoken to and hoarding his emotions as though they were precious gems that no one but he could view. He knew the blame lay on no one but himself; he was the one insisting Fíli take on more work, knowing he thought he was expected to carry out each task perfectly without praise or a respite from his duties. Yet Thorin could not risk going easy on him, he could not risk the chance. He refused to leave Fíli vulnerable to attack from those that believed they could use him to get to Thorin or did not view him as worthy of the title of heir.

And so the cycle of hard tasks and high expectations continued.

It was not only Thorin who noticed the change however. As Fíli grew and perfected his mask of heir to hide behind Kíli and Dís were devastated for they were forced to watch as little by little the dwarf they loved cut off his emotions from the outside world, from them, and never removed it save for in the privacy of his own room.

Kíli felt helpless as he watched his brother distance himself from him as well; no longer were there brotherly smiles or jokes and pranks pulled, instead it was a nod his way or a clap on the shoulder for doing something well. It made his blood boil watching his brother look around to ensure nobody was nearby before allowing himself to smile softly at something as simple as one of the horses in the stable. He knew the reason for it of course; the pressure his brother dealt with on a daily basis was overwhelming and distancing himself from others was the only way he could separate his mind from the too-heavy weight that had been placed upon his shoulders.

Knowing that if he didn't put a stop to it he would lose Fíli for good Kíli confronted his mother about his withdrawing brother and to his relief found she felt the same, and together the pair confronted Thorin on an afternoon when they knew Fíli would not be back from his lessons for several hours.

"Sit down Thorin," Dís ordered the moment he walked in the door. "The three of us need to talk."

"What is this about?" Thorin asked with a frown, not liking the hard looks being directed at him by both his sister and his nephew.

"Fíli's training, it needs to change" Kíli growled. "He is not the same dwarf he once was. He has become withdrawn and sombre, I no longer recognise my brother from what you are doing to him."

"You know nothing - "

"Do not think us fools. I want my son back Thorin!" Dís snapped, cutting her brother off immediately.

"Dís he is the heir and as such he is expected to take on extra work - "

"He is twenty-eight!" Dís shouted, her fist slamming down on the table. "He is still a child! I know why you do this; I see it in your eyes every day. You see Frerin where Fíli stands, our foolhardy and easy going brother who we lost due to his recklessness and unrestraint. But Fíli is not him Thorin! Fíli is his own person, responsible, kind and caring, at least he was before you stole him from me."

"He is heir - " Thorin tried to interrupt.

"He is my son, one of the two that I can deny you if I wish!"

Thorin looked at his sister incredulously, not believing what she had just implied. "You would hand the throne to Dain? You would let our cousin take the throne should I fall?"

"If that is what it took!" Dís snapped. Her shoulders sagged and she took a deep breath in order to calm herself. Placing her hand over her brothers she looked him in the eye and spoke softly, trying to get him to see reason.

"Thorin, I am not saying he cannot train, but he is a child, he is my son. I want the smiling, laughing, carefree and loving son back, not this emotionless corpse you have replaced him with. I want the son who wanted just one more story, that sat by the fire with his brother cuddled up to him, not the dwarf who sits silently through meals and leaves for his room immediately after to sleep. The town will want a king who is fair and kind hearted and smiles because he is happy to love his people, yet the way he is now no villager will want him. I need my son, Thorin, and Kíli needs his brother. Please fix this, before it's too late."

Thorin looked from his sister to his youngest nephew who had tears in his eyes before letting out a sigh. "Aye," he said quietly. "I will do what I can."

And fix things Thorin did. Thorin and Dís both sat Fíli down that night after sending Kíli to bed to stop him from interfering and spoke to him about everything. About him pulling away, about him taking on too much for such a young age, and most importantly how Thorin was going to give Fíli two weeks off before easing him back into his studies but with a smaller load until he reached forty.

And slowly, oh so slowly did the smiling, mischievous dwarf who enjoyed laughing with his brother and causing mayhem even more come forth once again.


When Fíli was seventy two, just ten years before he found himself on the doorstep of a hobbit hole in the shire, Thorin left Ered Luin for several weeks to discuss trade with nearby settlements. He had taken Kíli with him and left Fíli in charge of their village, claiming it would be good training for the both of them. Fíli knew the reason however; regardless of all of Fíli's hard work and training that he had put in to be the best heir Thorin could have Thorin had shown that he favoured Kíli out of the two. He wasn't too bothered by this; he knew everyone loved Kíli so it was only right Thorin would too, and it was only right that Thorin would go easier and would be more loving when it came to his wild younger brother.

Yet this trip should have been something Fíli was taken along on, not Kíli. After all Fíli had yet to see how trade deals worked or have the chance to show that he was the heir Thorin had trained him to be. Instead he had been instructed to run the town as Thorin would, deal with any disputes that came up as well as keeping up with his forge, training and schooling duties.

He loved the forge as it was the one place where he knew he was regarded as just another dwarf; a hard worker who was given no special treatment due to his status and was expected to fulfil orders that came through to the highest standard like everybody else. So when a group of thirty Rohirrim soldiers rode into Ered Luin two weeks after Thorin left and placed an order for swords to arm one hundred men Fíli and the other blacksmiths threw themselves at their tasks with vigour, knowing the money the swords would bring would greatly benefit the town.

But as fate is wont to do, their good fortune did not last. All the dwarves had been hard at work for a week in an effort to complete the order only for them to come in on the day that they were due to hand their newly crafted weapons over and find that the forge had be picked clean. Not a single sword remained and after much shouting and arguing they quickly discovered that the wanderer they had hired on a month prior was missing and it was simple to figure out who their thief was.

The blacksmiths agreed to keep the burglary quiet and Fíli sent out some guards in an effort to track the criminal down. After speaking to Thengel, the prince and captain of the Rohirrim to explain what had occurred the dwarves from the forge attacked their work with fury, desperate to complete the order in the four days before the soldiers were due to leave which meant not one of them left their work for the comfort of their own beds.

With the week Fíli had spent in the forge when the order had been first placed his other duties had been pushed to the side. When Dís learnt of the commission she insisted that she would take care of the running of the town as she had every other time Thorin was away in order for him to complete his work, however one thing she had not cleared up was the lessons Fíli had missed due to his work believing that his teachers would understand that the work took priority, not realising Thorin had instructed Balin and Dwalin to report to him should Fíli fail to turn up.

Two days after the robbery occurred Balin and Dwalin burst into the forge, annoyance radiating from their bodies at the disrespect the blond and future heir had shown to his studies, not knowing that the blond dwarf they spotted by the anvil beating a blade into shape was close to collapsing from exhaustion after working for almost two days straight as he refused to take a break.

Drained and with his whole body aching Fíli let out a yelp of surprise when Dwalin grabbed his arm and spun him around just after he had plunged the hot blade into the water.

"Care to explain your absence boy?" Dwalin growled at the blond, ignoring the bags under the blue eyes and the grime-covered skin.

"A week of lessons you have skipped Fíli," Balin tutted in disappointment. "And you have left your mother to carry out the tasks Thorin assigned to you. I expected better of you."

There it was again, Fíli thought angrily; expected. No understanding or a chance to explain just his Uncles advisor and his friend telling him he should be doing better than what he was, that he should be taking on the pressures of the town as well as the forge.

He wrenched his arm from Dwalin's grasp and glared at the dwarves before him. "My lessons can wait Balin" he snapped. "However the money the town will make from this order cannot. We were robbed two nights ago of the one hundred swords the Rohirrim soldiers commissioned and I will not let that money leave this town if I can help it. We have received no word from the guards I sent out two days ago to find the miscreant so we have had to start again. Now I suggest you either make yourselves useful or get out this forge and track that criminal down."

The brothers looked at each other, regret in their eyes for jumping to conclusions so quickly and ignoring the fatigue that Fíli was so clearly suffering from. After getting a description of the dwarf they were looking for and assuring their prince they would do what they could to get the stolen swords back Balin and Dwalin hurried from the forge to the home they shared, collecting their own weapons before saddling the ponies and riding from the town with haste.

To their utter relief when they stopped by a small village in the early evening they heard rumours of a recent arrival selling excellent quality swords off the back of a cart on the opposite end of town. After hunting around the brothers spotted the dwarf in question trying to sell off his wares and approached him with their weapons raised, informing all those who watched that the weapons they had brought had been stolen and that by law any being who carried out a crime against the line of Durin or the settlements under its protection would be executed.

After the act had been done Dwalin secured the wagon and the money the vagabond had made from the couple of swords he had sold whilst Balin sent a raven back to Ered Luin to inform Fíli that the criminal had been put to justice, the weapons were secured and that they would set out for home early the next morning and would arrive later the next day.


Unbeknownst to Fíli, Balin or Dwalin Thorin and Kíli arrived early that evening, weary from their travels and tired from the lengthy discussions. After a hearty dinner and Kíli telling Dís of their travels whilst Thorin sat waiting for his heir the sun set and the moon made her presence known before he asked Dís where Fíli was, wanting to talk to him before turning in for the night.

Whilst Fíli and the others packed up the forge after receiving word from Balin about the reclaiming of the missing weapons, and Balin and Dwalin secured the blades before turning in for the night Kíli and Thorin opened the front door to their home, calling out tiredly to Dís as they kicked off their boots and dropped their packs on the ground.

"Kíli? Thorin?" Dís asked in amazement as the pair fell into chairs at the kitchen table, both stretching sore muscles after travelling for so long.

"Hi mama," Kíli said with a tired grin, dragging himself out of his seat to place a soft kiss on her cheek and helping her bring the food to the table.

Dís gave her son a strong hug, quickly drawing back with a wrinkled nose. "You smell like a wet dog ghivashith," she scolded lightly "I would tell you to take a bath before eating but I imagine you are both rather hungry."

Kíli pouted at her teasing but let out a grateful moan when the smell of stew hit his nose. He all but fell into his chair and dug in, a blissful smile appearing on his face as the explosion of flavour hit his tongue, however that was quickly replaced with a frown when Dís sat down with an apple in her hand.

"Where's your stew mama?" He asked as he peered at the pot behind her.

"What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?" Dís chastised lightly, rolling her eyes at her youngest sons grin. "I was not expecting either of you tonight Kíli, so I only made enough stew for Fíli and myself. No matter, I have some chicken, bread and a few vegetables left over from last night so I'm sure we can make do. In fact," she turned to face her brother "why are you home so early? And at this time of the night as well, normally you make camp just before the sun sets rather than continuing on."

"One would think you did not want us here sister," Thorin said teasingly before chuckling as Dís rolled her eyes.

"We were able to cut several days off our journey as we happened to meet one of the leaders of a settlement in one of the other towns, and we were only a few hours out when the sun began to set so Kíli insisted we continue on so we could sleep in soft beds tonight rather than harsh ground."

"And I want to show Fíli the pelt I got a few days after we left; a beautiful deer that was." Kíli said proudly.

"Speaking of Fíli," Thorin said looking around "where is he?"

"Working," Dís said with a sigh. She didn't want to tell Thorin what had occurred whilst he'd been away, that was Fíli's job and the way he dealt with it was something he should be proud of, especially after he felt that Thorin had just left him here for no reason. "How about you both go and wash up, get out of those clothes and into something clean." Both dwarves nodded and once their stew was finished they stood up slowly, groaning as their muscles protested the movements before heading off to the washing chambers.

"Oh and Kíli?" Dís called. She waited until he turned around before continuing on. "Put your clothes in the basket. I swear to Mahal if I find your grubby tunic tossed on the floor you'll be doing everyone's washing for a week."

Kíli gave her a sheepish grin and hurried to his room as Dís cleared the table and moved on to preparing a hearty meal of leftovers for herself and her blond son. She hoped he'd be home soon as just before Kíli and Thorin had arrived she had received word from one of the smiths that the swords had been recovered and Fíli was going to inform prince Thengel of the good news before collecting the food she had asked him to pick up from Bombur's on his way home.

Several hours passed before Fíli finally arrived home; not only was he one of the last ones to leave the forge as he had to secure the swords they had, but he had spent some time talking to prince Thengel explaining that all the swords would be delivered tomorrow as promised as soon as Balin and Dwalin returned only to be stopped on his way to Bombur's as a fire had broken out in one of the horse stables from a dropped lantern and he had had to call for help before trying to get the horses out and put out the fire.

By the time he opened the front door, several bags of bread, meat and preserves in his hands Thorin and Kíli were washed and in clean clothes and were seated at the table and in the process of telling Dís about their trip. Thorin, Dís could tell, was tired and irritated with the way some of the talks had gone as people were demanding too much of a town that could barely afford to feed itself let alone others, and the expectations people were heaping on him was getting to be too much.

She let out a relieved smile when the front door opened and she hurried to greet her son.

"Mama?" Fíli called out quietly, the exhaustion clear in his voice and his arms about ready to drop the bags that were already dangling precariously from his fingers. He looked up and smiled when his mother appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, a smile on her own face at finally seeing him home.

"Hello my love," she said softly as he moved towards her, bring those in here and watch out for -"

A startled gasp tore from Fíli's lips as he stumbled and crashed to the floor after tripping on his brothers boots that were laying in the middle of the floor, the poor lighting and his sleep-heavy eyes not noticing them in front of him. The cracking of glass told him that at least one of the preserves had shattered and he couldn't help but kneel on the ground in shock, his sleep-deprived mind struggling to catch up with what just occurred.

The scraping of chairs was the only indication Kíli and Thorin had joined them and the pair of them looked down on Fíli in shock.

"YOU FOOLISH BOY!" Thorin roared, misreading the exhaustion in Fíli's eyes as drunkenness in his own tired mind. "YOUR MOTHER HAS WAITED UP FOR YOU ONLY FOR YOU TO RETURN DRUNK AND UNABLE TO STAND LET ALONE WALK STRAIGHT!" He looked down at the blond dwarf in disgust, satisfied to see Fíli's head bowed in regret, not realised Fíli was hiding tears of fatigue and embarrassment.

"Thorin!" Dís and Kíli yelled angrily, only to have Thorin cut them off.

"I EXPECTED BETTER OF YOU!" Thorin yelled "YOU SHAME ME AS HEIR. GO TO YOUR ROOM AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT."

He watched as Fíli scrambled to his feet and hurried as quickly as he could to his chambers, nodding in satisfaction as the door slammed shut only to have pain erupt across the side of his face from where Dís suddenly slapped him.

Thorin and Kíli looked at her in shock and she glared back at her brother.

"How dare you" She growled at her brother. "How dare you. You had no right to speak to him that way - "

"He arrived -"

"You best hold your tongue Thorin Oakenshield. You may be King to our people but this is my home and as such I hold superiority here!" Dís snapped. "This is the first time in two days Fíli has been home, the forge was robbed of a commission for one hundred swords for the Rohirrim two nights ago. They had been working hard for a week only to find the forge wiped clean, and because the prince was due to leave day after tomorrow they worked around the clock in order to make them again until someone could locate the original stock. Thankfully Fíli received word that Balin and Dwalin had located them this evening. My son was not drunk but exhausted, and you took it out on him without stopping to listen to me!"

Dís shook her head angrily at her brother and stepped in front of him as he went to move down the hall.

"Please Dís," Thorin said in a pained voice, "I need to -"

"You will go nowhere near him until I say you can" Dís hissed. "So here is what is going to happen. The pair of you are going to take those bags into the kitchen and put away the food and salvage what you can, there's plenty of other jars if need be whilst I take some water to Fíli as I doubt he's in any state to eat anything. Afterwards we are all going to bed, and Kíli leave your brother alone. He's in no state to see you tonight. Now get on with it the pair of you."

Thorin and Kíli nodded meekly before doing as Dís had asked as she moved to the kitchen to pour some chilled water into a cup for her son before heading to his room. When she arrived she placed her ear against the door to see if there was any noise coming from inside but was met with silence. Taking a deep breath she pushed the door open quietly and slipped into the room, ready to face whatever emotion Fíli would display, however her heart broke at the sight of her son.

It looked as though Fíli had passed out the moment he saw his bed as he was fully dressed, boots still on and he was lying sideways on the mattress. She shut the door before moving across the room and placing the cup of water on the nightstand before gently shaking her son awake. It took several attempts before he finally stirred and another few minutes before she could coax him into a sitting position in order to give him some water. After a few mouthfuls his eyes began to droop once more and Dís pulled him to his feet to help him strip down to his small clothes so he'd be much more comfortable. As Fíli managed to toe off his boots Dís was pulling his blankets back when she noticed Fíli's stuffed lion from his childhood on his bed; a place it was only brought to when he was in need of comfort.

Her heart ached as she watched her son crawl into bed and curl up with the lion clutched to his chest as he dropped off to sleep immediately. She tucked him in, smoothing the sooty blond hair that smelled slightly of charcoal back from his face and pressed a kiss to his brow.

"I love you ghivashith," she whispered into the quiet room "I am so proud of the dwarf you have become and I hope you never think otherwise."


Ghivashith – treasure that is young