There wasn't any time to take in everyone around me.
I would blink and the crowd would be another sea of faces, telling of different cultures, gathered here in one place on the street; and along with only a few more, I was statue still compared to them.
There was noise. so much I could not tell the sources apart and they merged together for something loud, like an unrecognizable buzz of energy.
I was alone with my thoughts, which was nothing new there, as I scarcely ever did have someone to share them with, but for the moment, they too were absent, as I strived to take in this labyrinth, I willing chosen to lose myself in.
Besides a clear decision on the destination, it was true that I didn't exactly have a plan concerning what I hoped New York would have in store for me.
in fact, I didn't even know where I was going to sleep come nightfall.
bored, with a jack and coke in front of me, in yet another small town, which I can't seem to recall the name of, though it looked like all the rest, I happened to buy a one-way ticket at the Bus shelter, to the big apple, after swallowing my drink down, and two days later; here I was, putting the small towns behind me.
It was kinda how I did things.
on a whim; by chance; tempt what luck I had in my possession, and then go for whatever opportunity presented itself.
unrealistic.
unpredictable.
borderline crazy.
I suppose that was me; but when you have nothing grounding you to one place, spontaneous change in direction of your fates path, with a help from liquid courage, was what spiced up a potentially boring and dead end life.
I liked standing on the edge of the unknown.
I liked making something from it, as if I were reinventing myself, to be the person I want to be; and standing on the pavement, with nothing but twenty bucks in my pocket, the clothes on my back, and my grandfather's guitar, this was merely the starting point of doing just that.
I grinned at the prospect, and rocked back and forth on my toes, taking another gaze around while I pointed a finger and wiggled it in all manner of angles, getting a sense for which one felt right, and it just so happened, that whatever road was behind me, was the one I felt good about.
with no more debate on the matter, I turned a bit too sharply on my heel, forgetting the crowd, which inevitably, resulted in my hitting into someone.
muffled in their solid chest, it was an easy thing to have me beat when it came to height and with my cheeks blazing, I peeked up at the figure and quickly tried to gain back some of my composure.
Avoiding eye contact and awkwardly rubbing my neck to keep me distracted from my embarrassment, I mumbled, "oh god, sorry about that! I didn't notice anyone was behind me."
I expected them to groan at my idiocy and sulk off having just been made to endure a second of my presence, only they laughed.
Not mockingly, it was more a friendly chuckle that encouraged me to come back out of my mortified shell to see the sparkle in his blue eyes, which validated my suspicion of the stranger's understanding attitude to be genuine.
"hey, don't worry about it. you seemed to be in your own world, huh?"
I couldn't place the accent, his voice was masculine, without being too deep where his sentences droned into something unfathomable, and I raised an eyebrow at his assumption.
"what makes you say that?"
for some reason my question came as a tease, when any other person might have walked off, now that they knew no offence was made.
however, did I not say that I was unpredictable?
"well," he began, tucking his hands into the pockets of his black skinny jeans, bringing me back on topic, "you were just kind of standing there."
"so were others," I quipped in, but he was ready for me.
"yeah but they looked like a bunch of abandoned puppies. Terrified at the prospect of New York, now that they were here. Obvious tourists, if you will."
he jutted his chin to a pair with furrowed brows, clutching onto each other's arms and doubting their steps, instead of going with the flow.
I swear they were ready to call for a life guard to come fish them out from the sea they were caught up in, and turned back to the stranger, wearing a bemused look as he bowed his head down to me slightly.
"you, on the other hand, seemed to be living in the moment. undeterred by the scale of everything, and more so excited by it. you welcome the unknown, right?"
I squinted at him, "okay, so you have mind reading powers; remind me to pick a foil hat up from the next alien fearing lunatic I see."
at that, I came around him and continued down where I was heading before I walked into him, only I hadn't shaken him off.
"so, where are you going beautiful?"
keeping up to my pace was simple and he even overtook me, since three steps of mine were like one of his, and he showed off, by doing it backwards so we could still look at each other.
his short black hair sticking up where the wind hit it, I shrugged.
"Don't know."
he waited to see if I would elaborate, then saw I was being honest.
"not going to check in at some hotel, or hostel, or...anything?"
"nope."
In fact, I didn't know if there were any nearby, having relied on happening upon one once I got tired, but with twenty bucks, I wasn't going to get very far in laying down a payment for even a single night.
my musings must have been clear by my expression, and he tapped into my head again coming to a stop, and making himself an obstacle before me.
"the unknown can sometimes be a bit of a bitch, admit it."
I managed to avoid hitting into him again, though the smell of his worn Band T-shirt was still a reminder of it. Not cologne or aftershave, his scent was musty like a mix of cigarettes and alcohol along with the leather of his jacket you could tell he always wore, no matter the weather.
my breath visible in the cold, I sighed.
"you got any better ideas?"
he pointed a black varnished nail at my guitar, which I instinctively held tighter to me, thinking he might offer me a price for it and no matter how dire my circumstances, or great the number of dollars, I would always refuse.
"is that an accessory to match your whole look, or do you know how to play it?"
his question hit a nerve, and my cheeks flared crimson again, only for a different reason.
"my whole look- of course I can play it!"
that accusing hand flew up to join the other in defense, "wow, easy girl; I didn't mean to make you angry."
His smirk told me he enjoyed my reaction though and I rolled my eyes.
"so, what does it matter to you if I can play this thing or not?"
"doesn't matter much to me, but I do have a gig later tonight, one that promises payment in return. you interested?"
Biting my lip, it was what my guitar was for, besides the enjoyment I got from playing it, and paid gigs were hard to get when you weren't a regular at the joint you asked about playing at, and here this guy already had one, while offering me a share of the earnings.
"you can come back to my place to practice before the show, " he added, to give me that extra push, "maybe stay there too, until you get yourself sorted out properly, here in good old NYC."
I snorted, earning another devilish smirk.
"don't worry; I got a pull-out bed."
on a whim; by chance; tempt what luck I had in my possession, and then go for whatever opportunity presented itself.
unrealistic.
unpredictable.
borderline crazy.
...it was just how I am. plus, there was something about him, something that was familiar, though we'd only met.
for some reason, I felt as though I could trust this person and before I knew it, four years passed since that day, whereby I was walking out that very same apartment door again, no surer on my feet as when I had first arrived to New York.
Or if I'm telling the truth, I was a complete and utter fucking mess.
