It was a trip to the ER that no one expected. The events that led to Yuuri Katsuki to be in a hospital bed still left him in a daze. He squinted his eyes past the bright white lights of the room, trying to remember the events that took place. His thoughts were in as much of a disarray as his knee now was. Slowly the realization hit him. As the images flashed before him, a hand rested on his right shoulder. Discouraged eyes met equally sad blue orbs that looked like the person they belonged to were trying to make them hopeful instead. Yuuri's pain worsened now that he saw the hurt in the eyes of the one person he believed could help him sort through this new mess. He sobbed softly. His lover's own pain broke him. The soft sobs turned into louder more uncontrolled tears. His fiancé, who was seated next to him, began to rub soothing circles into his back without making an attempt at stopping the tears. His fiancé knew Yuuri needed to let it go.
How did this happen?
.
. . .
.
This is it.
The medal he had worked tirelessly for was so close he could almost touch it. He knew he would reach it. Everything just felt perfect since the time he got up. He left the rink yesterday in first with one of his highest scores ever achieved. Today, his stretches had been going well. Viktor had even opted to help him out, using pointless excuses like "I need to make sure you're stretching properly" or "It'll help wake me up more." He seemed to have forgotten that Yuuri has slept with him before and knew his fiancé woke up early every morning. However, he wasn't going to deny himself the privilege of warming up with his lover. Instead he smiled and voiced his agreement. He was set to perform his FS last, and he was more than ready. Every encouraging word from Viktor was gladly accepted even though they both knew he didn't really need it. Yuuri just had to skate for Viktor. No one else. Viktor was his muse and was the only thing on his mind. He was going to convey his love for him to the world. It should have embarrassed or frightened him, but he felt neither.
As he took to the ice, Viktor held his hand for as long as he could, the warm smile he committed to memory making its appearance on his face. Viktor finally let go as the skater's name was announced in the stadium. Yuuri pushed against the boards and make his way around the rink before stopping in the center. The words Viktor promised him rang in his head, spreading a smile across his thin lips. Not that either would admit just yet, but the couple had already started making plans for the wedding individually. The promise of a ceremony after a gold medal from Yuuri kept them both from asking questions. But now - Yuuri knew it was going to happen - they could actually start. Where it would be held, when, what time, who were they going to invite, and how long was the guest list going to be were questions he had asked himself hundreds of times since last year at the Grand Prix Final.
His song began to ring out around the rink and through his mind, along with all the memories he's shared with Viktor so far. Every jump reminded him of an exciting time spent together like them exchanging rings or, according to the music, miserable times like when Viktor had to fly back to Japan the day before his FS program. Each memory, regardless of whether it was happy or sad, was welcomed and pushed him through almost every jump in his program. Save for the quad Flip planned last. He wanted to save it for last not just because he knew he could handle it with his stamina but show how Viktor really impacted his life. It was almost funny that before Viktor came around, Yuuri was never able to land that jump in competition. Now, he was able to do it without so much as batting an eyelash. It was thrilling. Intoxicating. Until the unexpected happened.
The crowd that had been cheering enthusiastically, drinking in Yuuri's performance as if he was the only competitor that mattered, suddenly was hushed.
He didn't land the quad Flip. Not even close. Yuuri saw it happening in his mind before the initial impact of his skate on the ice. His approach was off, but he already had a plan to recover for it. Or at least he thought he did. Little did he really understand how bad his approach and positioning was. That is, until the moment his knee crashed against the ice.
The sound was deafening as if the ice cracked under him. It didn't, but his knee sure did. There was no dancing around that. What was originally a dull ache before threateningly painful as the milliseconds became seconds... and then minutes. He didn't know how loud he gasped and screamed, how hard he cried, or even what Viktor's facial expression was. Viktor was definitely going to be disappointed. Yuuri imagined him walking away from the side of the rink in frustration. He wasn't expecting short, silvery locks to swing in his slowly blackening peripheral vision. All sounds were cut off from the pain he felt. The only sense he still had was sight, and even that was fading into darkness. The red on the ice was blaringly obvious. The color brought bile to the back of his throat. He couldn't tell if he was able to bite it back or not because that's when he lost everything.
.
. . .
.
Noises. A lot of them.
Yuuri's eyes felt like lead and his body didn't feel like his own. The sounds surrounding him were slowly starting to make sense in his mind. They were noises of panic he realized.
Why? Where was Viktor? Why can't I open my eyes? Why can't I talk? Why can't I move? Who are these people? Why are there so many of them near me? When will they be quiet?
It was becoming agitating. The lack of control over his body was frustrating. Before he could do anymore thinking, he was under again. The sea of darkness wrapped around him and coaxed his thoughts to disappear as well.
.
. . .
.
The lights were the first thing he noticed. Whatever form of sleep he was in was dissipating as what seemed to be a spotlight of some kind threatened to burn his eyes. Only they weren't opened. Struggling against the sea of black, Yuuri realized quickly he was swimming towards the top. The surface was becoming much clearer. As he broke through the surface, he began to quickly blink back the haze that threatened to drag him down once more. The light was excruciating and felt like knives, but he pushed through it until his gaze settled unclearly on a bright white wall. Posters he couldn't quite read yet were hung in light blues and greens against a light brown corkboard. He could make out metal chairs that lined the walls underneath the posters, pamphlets, and what he assumed were inspirational quotes. A few windows let the sun shine through the room on the wall to his left. The longer he kept his eyes open, the more he felt his head throb. A faint beeping noise was coming from somewhere nearby. Yuuri tried to locate the general direction of the noise but soon gave up when he realized turning his head would be an issue. The pain was becoming unbearable. A groan resounded in the room, which he assumed was his own strained voice. He couldn't tell. It sounded foreign to him. He felt the surface, which he came to realize was a bed, he was resting on dip slightly to his right near his arm. Carefully, Yuuri attempted to turn his head, was met with pain, but managed the action somewhat. Thoroughly blinking back the bleariness to find his fiancé leaning towards him with wide eyes.
"Vik... tor..."
Eyes the color of the sky visibly brightened as Viktor leaned closer to hear the soft voice of his lover.
"Yes, Yuuri. I'm here. You're okay. Everything's alright." Yuuri noticed tears falling down his cheeks like a cascading waterfall.
The pain was increasing the longer he was up, but he refused to give in. Instead another groan escaped his lips, but he found that he had more control than before.
"Viktor... Where am I?" Yuuri attempted to sit up on the bed, painfully aware of everything that hurt.
"Don't strain yourself, Yuuri." Viktor flung his hands out, one on Yuuri's chest and the other on his back to help him sit up. "We're in the hospital." Yuuri saw the other skater bite his lip.
Yuuri suddenly felt himself slipping, not physically but definitely emotionally and mentally. He zoned out, and Viktor began to scramble for his attention, anything to get him back. Yuuri was too lost in his thoughts to hear Viktor's pleads and cries. It was coming back to him now. The crowd's gasp, the crack of his knee against the ice, his own anguish screaming and cries, and the blood that covered the ground around him. It felt fresh in his mind. How had he forgotten? Tears began to wrack his body as all at once the memories filled his head, which had begun to throb again.
.
. . .
.
Viktor stopped trying to get Yuuri focused back on him once tears fled brown eyes. He lowered his arms and led one to his back as he began crying as well. He knew this was coming considering how bad the incident was, but it still pained him to watch his lover cry in front of him and not be able to do anything. He felt miserable. No, miserable was an understatement. There were no words that could describe how he felt in that very moment.
He let Yuuri cry and cry and cry until the tears stopped flowing in rivers down his tanned cheeks. It was worse to watch him become absolutely silent. He would have preferred the tears by a margin but decided it didn't matter. He would be there next to him no matter what happened.
Yuuri turned his head towards Viktor's and smiled dejectedly. It tore his heart to pieces.
"Can you please tell me what happened?"
Viktor gulped down the misery he felt and took a deep breath, unsure if Yuuri needed to hear it right now.
"I can take it now. I promise."
No, he couldn't. Viktor knew it. He was trying to put up a facade to help him. That's what Yuuri did. Viktor reached over and held Yuuri's hand with his own that had the gold band secured around his ring finger. The squeeze the Japanese skater gave his hand was a reassurance that he could handle it. Viktor sighed in defeat before speaking.
"Your routine was flawless. All you had left was the quad Flip. The toe pick on your right foot caught the ice wrong on the way up into it and..." He paused and sucked in a shaky breath, "you fell so hard and fast... I was terrified. I've never thrown my skates on so fast..." He could feel himself tearing up as he remembered watching Yuuri curl into himself and scream. Yuuri tightened his hold on his hand, silently telling him to continue. "I skated as hard and as fast as I could. Sadly even though I had to stop to put my skates on, I was still the first one to reach you." Bitterness laced his words as he spoke. He would definitely be having a few words with the ISU officials. "I was so scared, Yuuri. I thought you... I didn't know what was going to happen. I've seen plenty of accidents on the ice, but it hit me hard in that moment. A part of me fell with you. They kept trying to push me away, Yuuri. Kept telling me that it would only hurt me more... They had no idea, Yuuri. No idea at all." Viktor was shaking now, the tears pouring down his face once more. A few sniffles could be heard from Yuuri, but for the most part, he stayed silent. Viktor brought their entwined hands to his forehead, his silver hair falling in front of his face. "I stayed with you, holding your hand, until we arrived at the hospital. I had to let go of you then. I couldn't bear not being able to see you, hear you, not know how you were doing. Yurio yelled at me a few times in the waiting room, but I couldn't focus on anything he said or did. I was broken. I couldn't even imagine how you felt." He tightened his hold on Yuuri's hand. Yuuri continued to sit silently and listen to Viktor's side of the story. "When they finally came out to tell me how you were, I blew past the doctor and ran straight to your room. Now here I am. I've never been happier to see you, Yuuri." He lowered their hands and gazed up at the love of his life, not caring how much of a wreck he must look like. "I love you so much."
Yuuri wiped a few stray tears away with his left hand and smiled genuinely.
"I love you too, Viktor."
Viktor managed a smile of his own and leaned forward to kiss his fiancé. Only when Yuuri scrunched his face in pain did he pull away, much to his own reluctance.
"How bad am I?"
Viktor flinched, and Yuuri's face dropped once more.
"That bad, huh?"
Another flinch from the Russian.
"We won't be attempting Pairs Skating anytime soon." That was Viktor's sad attempt to lighten the mood. Ever since last year's exhibition at the Grand Prix Final, the couple had kept trying new techniques for Pairs Skating, even upping the difficulty level. They always came out of those practices with more bruises and sores than usual but smiles nonetheless. They always joked about how they were never going to do it again but somehow always managed to fit it in their weekly schedule at least once.
Yuuri caught on and looked up with an amused grin on his face. "I'm almost grateful for my mess-up now. Maybe my hips and arms will finally get the chance to recover from all the times I was dropped on the ice."
Viktor pouted and leaned in closer on the bed. "I said I was sorry. I was trying to prove to you that I wasn't too old to do the lifts."
"And who was right again?"
Viktor's pout deepened, which sent Yuuri into a fit of giggles. He cringed with the action that brought pain to various areas.
"Can I get a real answer as to what my injuries are like? Even though I didn't finish, what was my score like?"
"Well for the injuries... your knee-cap is fractured in a few places. Your ankle isn't in good condition either. Sprained, I think. Your knee took the brunt of the damage. They said to expect pain along that side as well. As for your score, I personally didn't see it since I was here, but Yurio told me that you placed fourth."
Yuuri took the news of his knee and ankle better than Viktor thought he would. What he didn't take well was how he placed.
"I was expecting sixth. Who placed under me?"
Viktor had to think for a moment before going over the standings in his mind. "I believe Seung-gil came in fifth, while Chris came in sixth. Jean-Jacques won gold, Yurio got silver, and Otabek won bronze."
Yuuri nodded his head, biting his lip while doing so. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment longer before Viktor spoke up.
"Yuuri," said male gazed up at him sadly, "I know what I promised before, what we both agreed to, but I want this more than I ever did before. Your gold medal at Skate Canada is more than enough to me. I'm ashamed of myself that I didn't ask after that competition." He chuckled nervously. "I put a gold medal as a condition to help motivate you to win, and by far it worked. I also put it in place because I was too nervous to outright say it. I know we've already exchanged rings, and you may not like that I'm saying this here of all places, but," the tears began again, only this time they reflected the happiness pooling in brown eyes, "Yuuri Katsuki, I think it's about time we started discussing plans for the future. Will you grant me the honor of marrying you?" With a grin in place and hand clasped firm over Yuuri's own, he gazed up at the bedridden skater with all the love he held for him.
Yuuri began nodding enthusiastically, left hand clasped over his mouth. Viktor could tell the sudden movement brought him pain, but Yuuri didn't seem to mind at all. With a quiet voice, the Russian got the answer he had long-awaited for. "Yes. Absolutely, Viktor Nikiforov."
The use of his last name made him laugh. "I can't wait."
.
. . .
.
Yuuri was released within four long days that seemed to drag on. The only solace he had was Viktor, who had insisted that he sleep in the same room as him regardless of the state his back would be in from sleeping on the thin cot. Even though Yuuri outwardly voiced how the Russian should go back to the hotel, he really just wanted Viktor to stay with him. Yuuri was transparent though, and ultimately Viktor stayed at the hospital. Since the first day in the hospital when Viktor had asked, the couple immediately couldn't stay quiet about the ceremony they dreamed of. Two of the four days when Yurio visited as well, they tried to bring the discussion to a normal level. The blond teen rolled his eyes at the duo and went on about how 'dumb they were acting.'
On the fourth day, Yuuri's doctor pulled over one of the metal chairs and began his examination. Viktor clung to Yuuri then entire time, refusing to leave the room for even a second. With bated breaths, they watched as the doctor left the room, waiting very impatiently for the word if Yuuri could leave or not. It had taken several minutes for the doctor to come back, the smile on his face reassuring. With the smile came the words they wanted to hear. Viktor excitedly pulled Yuuri into a hug and immediately began packing their belongings. Yuuri spoke with the doctor for another minute before he left the couple alone.
"You could've waited for him to leave before starting." His tone was scornful, but he knew how Viktor felt. The white walls were starting to drive him mad. Forced to stay bedridden made him antsy to get up and walk around.
Viktor hummed in response as he finished packing away everything he brought with him. "Moya lyubov, I can tell you want to leave as soon as possible. I prefer to sleep in our own bed as well." He grinned and sent a wink Yuuri's way.
Yuuri's cheeks were dusted pink, and he fumbled with his glasses in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. Viktor made those comments whenever he could within their four-day stay, and although he should be used to it by now, his own body betrayed him. "Viktor." The name fell past his lips with a small groan of both annoyance and amusement. "That's hardly fair." He gently leaned back into the mountain made of pillows at the head of his bed with a semi-audible thump.
"It is. I've been stuck here for three nights and was unable to do anything. Do you know how hard it is to restrain myself?"
Yuuri's face darkened a shade, and he carefully buried it into the pillows. "I would hardly call that restraint." He mumbled from underneath the soft cushions, but Viktor heard it nonetheless.
With a laugh, he readily replied, "I don't hear any complaints."
Another groan resounded from the pillows. Yuuri was sure if someone walked in, they would've thought he was in severe pain.
"I'll go sign you out. Stay here until I come back."
"I can't exactly walk without needing help. Me moving should be the least of your concerns."
"On the contrary, moya lyubov," that nickname combined with the way Viktor said it was going to kill him, "You being unable to walk is my top priority right now." Viktor strolled to Yuuri's bed and leaned over his limp form under the covers. "As I said, I'll be right back. Don't do anything reckless."
"I really don't plan on getting up."
"I'm just voicing my concern."
Yuuri slowly flipped himself onto his back, cautious of anything that hurt and Viktor's very close face. "Go sign me out. I'll be right here when you get back." He gave his lover a gentle smile and was given a chaste kiss to his lips. Yuuri's smile never left his face as Viktor unwillingly parted from him and gracefully, Yuuri noted, stepped out of the room. He sat up on his bed and glanced out the window, using his left arm to block the rays that threatened to blind him. It would be easy to get lost in his thoughts like he usually would, but he was different now that Viktor was by him. He was cornered less into his own thoughts and more focused on his lover. Every moment they spent together felt like the sun that fell on his face at that moment. Warm, inviting. Comfortable. Viktor was everything Yuuri had dreamed of and so much more. As he found himself questioning how luck he was, his fiancé appeared in the doorway as if called for.
"Ready to go?"
"I was ready three days ago."
Viktor grinned and walked over to his bedside to help Yuuri up onto his crutches. They were uncomfortable for the most part, the top of them rubbing harshly against his biceps and underarms. Viktor kept a hand on his back, and he used that to distract himself from the awkward shuffling to the door that ensued. Viktor held the door open for him and followed closely behind as he took his first step into the hallway. He had been practicing how to walk with the crutches upon his doctor's recommendation. As he continued to walk to the reception desk, he thanked the doctor's persistence for telling him to just try them out. He didn't like looking that weak in front of others. It was an unsettling feeling, and it hurt. The only other times he tried out the medical equipment was when Viktor left the room to get something. The scramble he made to put them back and lay down on his bed had Viktor sending him curious looks as he came back. He never questioned the Japanese skater, though.
Yuuri sat down in a chair pressed along the wall with many others in the waiting room as Viktor dealt with getting them both checked out. He really just wanted to fly home already. As pretty as Paris was, the feeling of his own bed sounded great. He didn't realize how tired he was until he really leaned back into the metal backing of the chair, his eyes drifting off to sleep.
.
. . .
.
In a haze, he felt himself gently being jostled and opened his eyes more to find Viktor's kind eyes trained on him.
"We're at the airport, Yuuri."
Airport? Oh, right he was going home today. Not home home. Not Yu-topia, no. Saint Petersburg. The place he had started calling home since the competition last year. It was sudden when Viktor asked him to move in with him, even said he didn't have to, but Yuuri wanted to stay with Viktor. He did, after all, promise to make it easier on his fiancé, who decided to continue to be his coach as well as a competitor. Moving to Saint Petersburg was an easy choice, but a difficult decision to make happen. Shipping all his belongings to another country was twice if not thrice as hard as he originally thought it would be. It was more stressful than practicing a new set of programs or learning a new quad. Despite the setbacks, moving in with Viktor was a dream come true.
As he blinked back drowsiness, Yuuri was helped out of the taxi that Viktor apparently carried him into in the first place, wobbling onto the crutches. Viktor grabbed their bags, and with watchful eyes, the couple made their way through the airport. In what felt like mere seconds, they were seated comfortably - well as comfortably as one could get with as many injuries as Yuuri had - and waited for the plane to take off.
Yuuri took note of how lucky he was to have someone like Viktor in his life as he watched said skater fall sleepily against his shoulder. He didn't try to hide his smile as his fiancé curled into him more. Yuuri followed Viktor's lead, leaning against the plane window. His coffee-colored eyes gazed out the window that overlooked the ocean currently, letting sleep overcome him once more.
Home sweet home.
