AN: This is not Beta'd, it's finals week, and I didn't want to bother my lovely Beta. Avoiding work, however, does make one want to put up new material. Nothing is mine. Please enjoy
*
The thrum of the Hub quietly resounded in Martha's ears. She glanced over at the man tinkering with some new toy. Despite the casual jokes he exchanged with his team, the shadows in his eyes betrayed him; he was exhausted. Ianto and Gwen didn't seem to understand how hard it was for him to watch the Doctor leave.
But she did. Oh how she did. Her gut twisted and her each beat of her heat was agony. She turned her eyes back to the computer, beating at the computer's keys to keep from sobbing. Every time she locked away a little piece of him, the Doctor charged back into her world. She vaguely noticed the other two members of Torchwood depart for the night. Focusing on her work, Jack's presence went unnoticed.
"You know Jones, if you didn't look so concentrated, I might actually be insulted. I've been leaning seductively on your desk for almost two minutes," Jack remarked.
Martha dragged her eyes from the screen and shifted in her chair to look directly into his blue eyes. "Was there something you needed Jack?" she asked as politely as she could.
"Ouch, a little more ice in the tone please," he joked. When her face remained impassive, he sobered a bit. "Seriously Jones, just thought I'd let you know that I'm here, if you need anything – "
"Save it, Jack." She paused, struggling for words, "It's just, I understand that you're only trying to help, but I really don't think you can help me when you're holding yourself together with only your suspenders."
His face shut down completely.
They stared at each other for a minute, cold and impassive.
Neither noticed Ianto climbing the stairs up to the office platform. "Not interrupting anything, am I?"
Jack immediately slid into a fake, and to Martha, dangerous, smile. "Not at all Ianto. Martha and I were just reminiscing a bit. Did you forget something?"
"Needed to make sure that the coffee machines got turned off." He shrugged, "Sometimes I forget," he told Martha.
She nodded curtly and turned back to the screen.
Quietly, so Ianto couldn't hear, Jack whispered into her ear, "And you bury yourself so deep in work, you forget to live."
"All good to go sir, all caffeine related machines switched to the off position."
Ianto's small smile disappeared to Jack's proximity to Martha. Seeing Ianto's expression, Jack straightened, "Fancy a bite to eat Ianto? Long day, saving the world and all."
Ianto nodded, "I'll just get my coat from the travel office."
As he left, Martha turned in her chair, eyes full and downcast. "Now, now Jones, we weren't being nasty enough for you to cry," Jack came close to sneering at her.
"I'll cry if I want to," she said thickly. "I'm sorry. It's just; can we not talk about it? It seems we get rather cruel when it concerns the Doctor." Jack's face lost a bit of its rigidity.
"Not to worry Jones," Jack said, kneeling down next to her chair, and she tentatively put her hands on his shoulders. She knew that if Jack let you touch him again, all was forgiven. "One thing though," Jack continued, " never bring the suspenders into it."
She forced a laugh past the weight in her throat. They stared at each other again, this time with a shared understanding.
She bent down and pressed her lips against his.
Jack quickly pulled back. "Not that I wouldn't go for ya Jones, but we both know it's not me you want."
She nodded her head in understanding, "I know it's not you, but you're the closest thing I have. When it comes to the Doctor," she whispered. "I just need someone who understands. I love my job. I love my family. Everything seems sorted, but then he waltzes back to Earth and twists everything around and nothing seems right and…"
"Nothing will ever be as bright or as clear as it was with him," Jack finished. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Jones, your life will never be as good as it was when you were with him. Plain fact. No reason to feel crappy about it. Just get through each day. And when you hear that engine? You run, Martha Jones. And you hope like hell that his new companion isn't prettier than you."
She laughed wetly. Jack leaned up and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Go home Martha, get some sleep. You'll need to tomorrow."
Martha looked up from wiping her eyes, "What about you?" she asked.
Jack smiled a bit wickedly, "I'm going to have some odd combination of food and then spend some quality time assuring Ianto that I won't be leaving Torchwood for a long, long time."
Martha stared at him wide eyed. "You and Ianto?" she asked.
"Oh don't put on the act," he joked, "I'm sure Gwen told you as soon as she knew you were staying; she's been wanting to gossip with someone about it for weeks."
Martha grinned and shut off her computer. "Well, if we're not playing dumb, you need to find a better way to hide your neck. That or tell Ianto to concentrate a little farther down."
Jack's face froze for a moment, a moment that Martha took advantage of; she slipped out of her chair and away from Jack. "Have fun then," she waved and turned away from him. Her face crumpled and her eyes filled again.
She left the Hub and began the small trek to her car. One day at a time, Jack had said; one Doctor-destroyed piece to fix at a time. Martha Jones sighed; this was going to take too many days.
