PETER

In which Peter takes his OWL's exam in Defence Against the Dark Arts and witnesses Snape's worst memory.

"Five more minutes!"

Peter jumped in his chair at the sound of Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice and resumed biting his nails even more vigorously. He reread question number fifteen for the third time:

"List the different known species of salamander, their characteristics and specific properties"

He had written no more than six lines whereas Oliver Stebbins, the Ravenclaw boy at his left, had already filled half a page and was still writing in haste.

Peter thought he had listed all (or at least most of) scarlet, blue and frost salamander's characteristics and properties but despite all his efforts, he couldn't remember anything about the golden ones. If only he could manage to have a look at Stebbins' parchment somehow…. But his sight had never been good and from that distance, he wasn't able to decipher Oliver Stebbins' scribbles.

While trying again to concentrate on his remembrances of the notes Moony gave him to prepare for the exam, he scuffed the ground with his toes.

"Quills down, please" squeaked Professor Flitwick.

Feeling defeated and resigned, Peter put the quill on the table with a sigh.

Oliver Stebbins, on the other hand, was still writing, evidently determined to pretend he didn't heard Professor Flitwick, who was now plumbing the Great Hall on his tiptoes to make sure everyone had stopped writing.

"That means you too, Stebbins!"

Before the tiny Professor could finish the sentence, Oliver was already putting the quill down with satisfaction. Peter looked at him with rancorous envy before lowering his eyes again on his parchment, full of ink stains and corrections.

"Please, remain seated while I collect your parchments! Accio!"

When his scrolls took flight to land into Professor Flitwick's little arms Peter continued looking at them hardly noticing the Professor falling down, legs in the air, from the weight of nearly a hundred scrolls.

Peter really needed to achieve an O.W.L. in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

When he was little, before starting Hogwarts, he dreamed of becoming a hero of the wizarding world, one of those courageous wizards that in the fairy tales face dragons and evil dark forces with a wand in one hand and a shiny sword in the other.

Obviously now that he was sixteen those childhood dreams had taken a less "fairy-tale" shape. He gave up the idea of the sword during his second year at Hogwarts, after he found out how heavy they are. He had tried to take one from a display case in the trophy room to play with James, Sirius and Remus but had fallen head over heels down, cutting himself deeply in his forearm, ending in infirmary first, and detention after.

Anyhow, at the career advice session Peter had declared to Professor McGonagall he wished to enter the Magical Law Enforcement Squad.

She had taken her eyes up from Peter's folder to look severely at him as considering his statement.

"Your marks at the moment are well beneath the requirements to aspire at such career levels, Peter. You'll need to put in some good hard work if you're really determined to take this path."

Peter had lowered his head, clenching his fists.

"The Minister requires a minimum of five N.E.W.T.s to enter the Magical Law Enforcement Squad' training program which lasts for two years." Professor McGonagall went on, "Among the required subjects there are Defence Against the Dark Arts, naturally, Charms, Transfiguration and Potion. Muggle Studies, which I see here you've chosen among the optional subjects, can also be useful."

She had paused for a moment before adding: "Pettigrew, I would recommend you to think of some…alternatives. You are averaging 'Acceptable' in all of this subjects and that's not nearly sufficient."

Most people thought he was an inept, weak little boy. They didn't know that he, the little, plump, clumsy Peter Pettigrew, only a few months before, proved himself able enough to become an Animagus. Well, to be fair, he wouldn't have accomplished it without the help of two of his best friends, James and Sirius, who were able to turn into, respectively, a stag and a dog, almost three months before him. Nevertheless, he made it: he managed to master (illegally) human transfiguration, something very few in the entire wizarding world had achieved.

And it was them, his friends, that helped him preparing for the exams to gain the required OWLs: Moony had prepared summary notes for him, James had assisted him during charms and transfiguration exercises and Sirius...well...Sirius thought it funny to make fly every sort of objects every time he tried to summon or banish something. It took James and Moony almost half an hour to find out that Peter wasn't doing anything wrong. Still, he helped Moony retrieve a boggart from one of the abandoned rooms in the cellar to allow him to exercise with the Riddikulus Charm and accepted to duel, every now and then, giving him some advises in between his usual persiflage.

And now, if Peter hadn't managed to take at least an E in Defence Against the Dark Arts it would have meant the breaking of all of his glorious dreams as a member of Magical Law Enforcement Squad.

Peter took quill, inkpot and the leftover parchment, put it ruefully in his bag and headed towards the exit doors, reaching his friends as they were emerging in the Entrance Hall.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" was asking Sirius.

"Loved it," said Remus with a grin, "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" intervened James, faking a tone of concern.

"Think I did," said Lupin frowning and starting count them on the fingers, "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Peter didn't even listened to him. He was thinking about his answer. He just remembered he wasn't able to list all five signs and passed to the following question, taking note to himself to go back at it later but he forgot to, once he stopped thinking about the salamanders.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else -"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" James interrupted him impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month -"

"Keep your voice down James!" implored Lupin.

At this point, they were outside in the sunlit park, heading towards the lake's shore.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," said Sirius, "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least."

"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

Peter was about to ask them what they wrote on salamanders but he forgot immediately at the sight of the golden winged ball.

"Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked

"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again.

Peter was watching his every move and couldn't help but admiring his reflexes. Not only James played as a Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and was reputed one of the best chasers in the school, but he could also play as easily and successfully as a Seeker.

When they reached the shade of the beech tree in front of the lake, they threw themselves down on the grass. It was eleven o'clock, and the park was full of students: whoever had a free hour was outside joining the heat of June.

James was still playing with the Snitch. He let it zoom further and further away, but always managed to grab it at the last second. Peter was hypnotised by the snitch's extremely quick movements and couldn't help but gasp and applaud every time James catches it.

"Put that away, will you," said Sirius, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

Peter felt his cheeks burning.

"If it bothers you," said James, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.

Silence fell over the group of friends. Peter looked at them each in turn: James was looking at the lakeshore, Sirius was lying on the ground, hands under his head, and Remus was sitting with his back against the log, reading the Transfiguration book.

"I'm bored," said Sirius, breaking the silence, "Wish it was full moon."

"You might," said Lupin, raising his eyes from the book "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…"

He held out his book but Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," James said in a hushed tone, looking at the entrance of the castle behind them. "Look who it is…"

They all turned and saw whom James was referring.

"Excellent," said Sirius softly, "Snivellus."

Severus Snape was stowing some paper in his bag, sitting across the grass just few meters from the beech tree. Peter looked with excitement as Sirius and James stood up and approached him.

It was always funny watching how they could overcome that oily, snobbish boy, finding always new ways to ridicule him. He was actually a fearsome rival; Peter could never defeat him in a duel. Besides he was often accompanied by other Slytherins, all elder students who now were supposedly busy somewhere else.

"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Snape reacted extremely fast, dropping his bag and drawing his wand out of his robes, but before he could do anything, James shouted a Disarming Charm causing his wand to fly in the air and fall some meters behind him.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch and were gathering towards the scene as Peter got up on his feet himself and started approaching to have a clearer view.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him with their wands pointed.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" teased James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Peter and several other students chuckled at Sirius' jape.

Snape was struggling to get up looking even more ridiculous as his body seemed bind in straight invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James "you - wait!"

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once. Peter was now openly laughing as he watched the froth covering Severus' lips and chin while he tried to suck in some air making ludicrous noises.

"Leave him ALONE!"

At the sound of the furiously imperious voice, Peter stopped immediately laughing thinking for a moment it was a Professor, and turned to look instead at the ginger girl approaching.

"All right, Evans?" said James, passing his free hand in his jet-black hair and casually messing them. In Peter's opinion, he couldn't have looked more attractive but Lily Evans seemed always to be strangely immune to James' charm. Peter really couldn't understand it and found her quite irritating, always shouting at James and acting all conscientious like she was a little professor.

"Leave him alone," she repeated looking at James with every sign of great dislike.

"What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point and making Peter smiling, ready to catch the witty and humorous answer "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

As Peter predicted, almost all of the surrounding students laughed, except for the ginger girl.

"You think you're funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Peter looked at Lily. He already knew what her answer would have been. It wasn't the first time he witnessed this kind of exchange between the two of them. It began last year as a joke but ultimately it seemed James was insisting more and more on this joke and Peter had caught him watching at Lily Evans every so often. It was nothing more than a crush, but it had become so evident that even Peter couldn't pretend to take it like a mere gibe anymore. Not that he couldn't understand what might attract James about Lily Evans: she was undoubtedly very pretty, with long, flowing red hair, almond shape eyes of a stunning green and a determined and resolute air. Nevertheless, he couldn't quite comprehend why James would cling so obstinately on her while he could easily have almost whoever girl he wants in the entire school.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. "Oy!"

Snape had managed to reach his wand and directed it straight at James. There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. Peter let an acute shriek but James whirled about: a second flash of light and Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Peter roared with laughter, along with James and Sirius. It was one of the most hilarious scene he had ever witnessed and this time he was seriously near to wet his trousers.

Lily Evans' shout ordering to let the boy down could be barely heard above the laughter of the small crowd of students.

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius, with a swift stir of his wand, shouted "Locomotor mortis!" and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. Peter turned to see her pointing her wand at them. He took a step back but James and Sirius stayed in place eyeing the point of Evans' wand warily.

The ginger girl had proved more than once that she wasn't afraid of using it even against James and Sirius.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked and everyone seemed to hold their breath for a moment while a tense silence fell after Snape's words.

"Fine," she finally said in a gelid tone, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away towards the castle.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, with an unconvincing air of indifference.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, with a furious look, "right -"

He pointed the wand at Snape and with another flash of light, he was hanging upside-down in the air showing his pale skinny leg once again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

Peter let out a cheer and started yelling, "Take them off! Take them off!" with the rest of the crowd.

With a grin James gazed at Snape who was now thrashing furiously in the air, face covered by the robes. Snivelly's pants started slowly moving up revealing his navel.

"James…"

Peter hadn't even noticed Remus reaching his side. He was frowning and looking towards the castle entrance.

Professor McGonagall was quickly approaching, an intimidating expression on her face. James grin fade away and he put the wand down. With a dull thud, Snape felt on the ground in an envelope of cloth.

"Potter!" Professor McGonagall shouted, "What you think you are doing? I'm sick and tired of you two fighting each other all the time. I won't tolerate such disgraceful shows of foolishness anymore. Don't you have to review for your exams?"

"But Professor, that's precisely what I was doing! We have the practical exam for Defence Against the Dark Arts after lunch and I was doing some practice confronting an old hag I stumbled upon. Don't you see, Professor? The ugly face, the warty nose...?"

A roar of laugh rang from the crowd but Peter detected a sudden movement in the corner of his eye. James took a little jump to his left to avoid Snape's jinx but Professor McGonagall was fast as a lightning and in an instant she disarmed Snape first and James right after, their wands drawing an arch in the air to land right in her left hand.

"Enough! 20 points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin! Potter, Snape, follow me, you will come in my office!"

Snivellus was fuming and looking as though capable of murder, with the face red from shame and rage, half covered by the greasy tend of his hair.

As he and James started heading towards the castle without breaking eye contact and exchanging looks full of hatred, Professor McGonagall turned to point her raging stare to Remus: "And Mr. Lupin, must I remember you it is expected from a prefect to maintain order in the school, not stay and watch as students try to scratch each other eyes out?".

Lupin was looking gloomier than ever. "No Professor, I'm sorry"

"Well, that was a pity!" said Peter with a sigh, as the crowd started scattering, "James was actually about to take his pants off!"

"I didn't know you were so eager to see what's under Snivelly's underwear, Wormtail," replied Sirius with a grin.

Once again, Peter felt his cheeks burning, "No…I didn't…I mean…"

"Calm down Petey, just messing with you!" interrupted Sirius laughing at his embarrassment.

"That wasn't funny guys, I think you are crossing the line that stands between amusement and - Oh no, what's happening now?" Lupin sighed wearily.

He was looking at the lakeshore sixty feet from them where a group of third years was gathering in two opposite fronts.

As Remus started in that direction, Peter and Sirius followed. A girl was stepping out from one front, taking her skirt and shirt off and heading towards the water under the bewildered looks of the rest of the group.

Dear readers,

I've let you all read this first chapter without any preamble and almost any anticipation of what it was about. Now, for the brave and patient ones that reached the end of the chapter and (hopefully) want to read the rest of the story, I will write some required clarifications.

First, you should know that this story is part of a much more ambitious project. In fact, this whole story was originally conceived as one chapter of a much bigger one - Badabum!

However, while I was writing it, the story I had in mind started getting longer and longer and I realized that a chapter that long would have been too demanding, both for the reader and for the writer (=me).

Therefore, I decided to split it in various different stories that could eventually form a series.

You probably noticed that a large part of this chapter comes directly from the books (Chapter 28 – Order of the Phoenix). Since my story starts exactly from the episode of Snape's worst memory, I thought it useful, if not essential, to recall it entirely.

Anyway, from now on the next chapters will have a much higher percentage of personal elaboration!

Now, the real problem is (and here lies my masochistic nature) I'm Italian and I've never lived in any English-speaking country nor have I studied English or Foreign Languages at University. That should explain some errors I might have done in the writing, even though I hope I haven't.

If you think my English isn't yet good enough just tell me and I will search for someone who can help me improving it.

If someone out there wants to share his thoughts/suggestions/opinions =REVIEWS with me regarding the Chapter I'll be thrilled to read it (positive, negative or tepid!) and answer.