January 4 2011

Dear friend,

This is weird. But what happened was weird too, and that's why I'm writing it down and writing to you. I get the feeling you'll understand why it happened to us, the bakers, and me, Jake. You'll understand more than I ever will.

It all began just over two months ago in October as I picked up the phone.

"Jake- that weely really silly Ann's gone again…"

I sighed and shouted to mom that Charlie was slurring down the phone again. Nothing new. It's something that happens just about monthly. Anne Murtaugh breaks up with him and he calls us pissed out of his head, then halfway through the call she'll arrive back at his door again. And that'll be the end till next month.

"Dude, let me guess, she broke up with you again, didn't she."

"Uh-huh," Charlie chuckled to himself, "I am very, very drunk, little brother."

"I figured as much." I passed the phone to mom who had just arrived on the scene and was trying to stop him from drinking any more jack. I felt like laughing at the hilarity of it all. And it was funny in a sick, twisted, ironic kind of way.

"Look Charlie, I'm sure it's not for real," mom assured him to a strangled reply, "Ann loves you- YOU WHAT?"

Sometimes I think us Bakers kids are self destructing and that's our problem. In fact I know it is. All twelve of us.

Mom ran her hands through her hair, "Maybe it'll be best for your dad to speak to you- Just don't do anything- he'll call you up later. Bye." She sighed and turned to me. "Promise me, you'll remain a virgin till your thirty five and engaged to a nice woman, Jake, 'cause it's not worth the trouble."

Fat chance of that happening. I smiled. "Right mom…"

"You're a good boy Jake. Try, stay that way." God, make me feel any guiltier. "Nigel, Kyle, Gunner is not a football! Oh, and Jake, dinners at six. Don't be late unless you want to miss meatloaf!"

Grabbing my board and backpack, I headed out the door to Sarah's car. Too bad she wasn't up to drive it. Too busy sleeping in. In reality I probably drove Sarah's car more than she did, but unlike her I didn't have a job to fund gas or even buy a crappy old beat up vehicle.

My job's to make 'Now or Never Ever" hit the big time. And we will- eventually- the world is missing out on our powerful renditions of nineties punk songs. Know matter what Henry-mister-big shot-winner-of-Julliard-scholarship says. No one listens to him anyway.

"God Mark, you smell disgusting."

I turned to see Kim, Jessica, and Mark all piling in to my (I mean, Sarah's) car, and to be honest, I had to agree with Kim's statement. Mark did smell bad.

"Dude, you do know you're meant to shower every day." Mark shrugged and rested his feet on the dials, "Whatever."

"Well you could at least put deodorant on," Kim chided, "Some people have tests today they need to study for without smelling that."

"Yeah, tests to beat Joshua Rosen," Jessica muttered.

"Who's Joshua Rosen?"

"The most arrogant, egotistical, geek to ever live. And he has a GPA of 4.00, the ass. I hate him."

"There's a thin line between love and hate." Mark drawled.

Kim scowled. "Right."

We turned the corner to the high school and Jessica nearly fell out the door in her haste to leave, without even a goodbye. Mark left with a 'later, dude' and Kim followed him muttering about test scores and the honour roll.

It's weird. Jessica used to be just like Kim. Now…they're not.

"Yo, Dan, Eric!" I skated over to my friends and 'Now or Never Ever' band mates, Dan Carmichael and Eric Truman. They're what you would call typical skater dudes or, if like the rest of the high school population, losers.

The baker family has never really been a popular one. Kim's a geek, Jessica's a loner, Sarah's, well…a bit of everything and Mark hangs out with the stoners.

I guess now's the time I realise I have more in common with Mark than I first thought.

Dan, the first friend I met after realising I couldn't hang out with Sarah and Mike at school (A. Because Sarah's in the grade ahead of me and B. Because Mike's four years younger and still in middle school), ran a hand through his sandy coloured dreads and offered Eric his cigarette. "Hey, you going to that party tonight?"

Eric nodded, "Sure, as long as Marks sisters there. Sarah, now that's one hot older woman…"

I looked at Eric threateningly. "You wanna say that again?"

"I mean…now that's one intelligent young…girl who's not hot in the slightest."

"You're saying my sisters ugly now?"

"Not hot or ugly but…attractive… that's the right word."

I chuckled and looked at my schedule that I still couldn't remember. I think it's my subconscious protesting. Next period was Math and Heidi Carson happened to be in it. Seventeen and stuck listening to Midland's next answer for Malibu Barbie. It's enough to make you want to kill yourself with the electric sharpener.

"Whose party is it anyway?" I asked, stuffing the schedule in my backpack.

"Um, I'm not sure." Dan said vaguely, glancing awkwardly at Eric.

"Yeah, it's- it's probably- no one's."

I raised my eyebrows. "It's Heidi Carson's. Isn't it?"

They shrugged, "…Maybe?"

"You know, what have you got against her anyway? She's hot."

"Well that make's it alright then, if she looks like a good fuck its fine."

"Oh no, she is. Cody told Jude who told Brett who told me…" Eric started. I cut him off.

"Whatever, guys. If it's a party, has free beer and good music I'm there." They smiled in satisfaction and high fived. "No matter if it's being hosted by a stick insect in a blonde wig," I added under my breath.

They didn't hear.