Go-Daigo, Go!
The Doctor, from the episode "Bad Wolf", when he was trying to recover his memory of how he had gotten to the GameStation: "We'd just left Raxacoricofallapatorius. Then we went to Kyoto. That's right, Japan in 1336, an' we only just escaped..."
This is an angstier take on a chapter I wrote for "Better Than That", meant to fit into a canonical Series 1 without Bad Wolf sneaking in extra kisses.
"Your Imperial Majesty! Ashikaga's army is overtaking our last defense; we cannot hold them!"
As the bowing soldier waited for Emperor Go-Daigo's response, he cast a suspicious glance towards where Jack was held at spear point, along with the Doctor and Rose. Jack sent him a wink, before the messenger refocused his gaze on the floor in front of his feet.
"Well, your Majestic-ness," the Doctor addressed the Emperor, "you can either try an' hold 'em off, here, skewerin' us before you're skewered yerself, or," he looked over his shoulder to where they had parked the TARDIS. "You could head for the hills. Or the hill - Mt. Hiei, I might suggest. Nice little temple, there. The monks could put ya up, 'til yer ready to sue for peace."
The Doctor had taken just half a step forward in his speech, but Go-Daigo's soldiers tightened the circle of spears, pressing him back a full step.
Jack and the Doctor maneuvered Rose between them, as far from the spears as they could manage. "Easy, boys," Jack soothed. "Those things are sharp!"
A triumphant roar of voices echoed from the hallway where the messenger had come from, and Go-Daigo rose to his feet. Their captors lowered their faces, mercifully easing back on their weapons enough to let Jack breathe.
"You would offer me sanctuary?" the Emperor asked the Doctor. "At your own execution?"
"Yeah, well," Rose answered, "if ya promise to forget about the execution part, we won't hold it against you. Now, can we all get outta here? Sounds like the samurai are comin'!"
"To the blue box!" Go-Daigo ordered. The spear-bearing soldiers all came to attention as he descended the stairs from his throne. The Doctor immediately led the way, unlocking the TARDIS' doors and racing up to the console.
Jack and Rose stationed themselves along the entry ramp, ushering in the Emperor and his court. "Bigger on the inside," Jack intoned, gesturing each stunned passenger aboard. "Keep it movin', please."
"Inside's bigger than the outside," Rose echoed. "Watch your step an' find somethin' to grab onto."
In practically no time, the Doctor had the ship sidestepped to their destination. As the TARDIS stilled, Rose pulled open the doors.
Go-Daigo approached first. "Enryaku-ji," he breathed. "Doctor, your magic is true."
"Yep, well, end o' the line, end o' the truce," the Doctor replied, stepping away from the console. "Off my ship an' we won't haveta bother with 'see ya later'."
The Emperor stepped out through the doors, into the growing gathering of monks in the courtyard of the Enryaku-ji monastery.
His cohorts followed more quickly, and much less gracefully, still giving furtive, terrified glances at the TARDIS' interior and the Doctor, himself. "Bye!" the Doctor waved exaggeratedly, shooing them out.
Jack leaned against the doorway as the Doctor joined them at the exit to the ship. Messenger Boy was the last out, sending Jack a wink of his own, before disappearing into the crowd.
"A'right, we'll be off, then," the Doctor announced.
"Wait," the Emperor pleaded, hand raised. "That we may part in peace," he offered, "I will pay for the Yellow Rose. She need not be taken by force."
"Ha!" Rose laughed, as the Doctor slung an arm about her shoulders. "Generous after all, that one," she commented to the Doctor.
Jack shook his head. "Rose isn't taken by anyone," he corrected the Emperor. "Well, unless she wants to be..."
He glanced towards his companions with is best insinuating smile, only to find them rolling their eyes, adorably in sync.
Jack and Rose stepped back as the Doctor reached out for the TARDIS' doors. "We'll just be goin'. Now," the Doctor replied to the Emperor with a grin that in no way reached his steely eyes.
As he swung the doors shut, Rose dusted her hands dismissively. "Sayounara, Go-Daigo!" she announced.
Jack really didn't know how much longer he could take these two. Didn't the Doctor know these kinds of stories were supposed to end with a kiss, at the very least? When your girl gets kidnapped by the evil emperor, enamored by her beauty, and you have to go and rescue her from his vile clutches... The Doctor made to climb the ramp back up to the console, so Jack pounced, before he could get away. "Farewell, Kyoto!" Jack cried, sweeping the Doctor and Rose into a group hug.
Rose giggled a bit, but the Doctor just smiled indulgently and patted Jack on the elbow before slipping free of his grip.
Stifling a sigh at the Doctor's refusal to take advantage of an opportunity, Jack turned his focus to Rose. "Can't believe he left you all to myself," he told her, quickly scooping Rose up into a feet-swinging hug. Rose whooped as Jack spun her around, and he snuck a glance at the hopefully jealous Time Lord. He was bracing himself for any number of the Doctor's most intimidating glares. What he didn't expect was to see him nodding resignedly, a wistful half-smile on his face.
Jack set Rose down and let her catch her breath. Did the idiot actually believe Jack was somehow better for Rose? That she'd ever have eyes for him over the Doctor?
The Doctor's expression cleared immediately when Rose turned his way, skipping up the ramp to his side.
She took the Doctor's arm as he began working the controls. "S'where to, next?" she asked, laying her head against his shoulder.
Jack thought at the TARDIS, Now'd be a really good time to try that locking them in a room together thing, don't you think?
He got the impression that it had been tried before, with the same, obstinate results.
Third time's the charm? he mentally suggested.
One, two, three, four, five, the TARDIS pulsed at him. Eight, nine...
Right. I get it, Jack sighed (aloud, this time), trudging up the ramp, himself, and dropping into the captain's chair to watch the frustrating not-quite-a-couple.
Come on, Old Girl, be honest, Jack continued, smirking at his thoughts. They've actually been sneaking behind my back this whole time, and you're just helping them with the act, right?
The Doctor and Rose stepped quickly back from the console, as the Time Rotor and various lights suddenly flickered with the ship's bubbling laughter.
The end.
Apparently, the TARDIS must have missed blocking the transmat while she was laughing.
This chapter, by the way, has been painstakingly researched for historical accuracy... Okay, maybe "researched" is going a bit far. How's "Wikipedia'd"? Emperor Go-Daigo was actually the Emperor of Japan, deposed in 1336. "Go, Diego, Go!" was a cartoon, a spin-off of "Dora the Explorer". Thank you, ChangerOfNames ;)
