Disclaimer: Not my characters or copyright, unfortunately.

Notes: Written for the LJ "getbacksubrosa" anonymous fic challenge. But I'd been meaning to write this for awhile anyway, because...

Warnings: I don't agree with most of the fandom when it comes to semes and ukes. ;)


How Curiosity Slew the Snake

It was easy, with girls. They pretty much expected it, you know. All you really had to do was say something, make a suggestion, be open about it. And then... well, if you were Midou Ban, you usually got a nasty look, or maybe a smack across the face. Sometimes she'd lay you out on the pavement and grind her heel into your gut. But even so, no real harm done. No big deal. No one really cared. (And if she did lay you out on the pavement, at least you got to look up her skirt.)

With a guy... it was different. Well, maybe not with all guys. With the thread spool, it probably wouldn't be - but that guy was practically a girl anyway, so he hardly counted. But if anyone actually took it seriously... they'd still look at him differently. Good thing no one would take it seriously if he hit on that guy.

The trouble was... trying to find a way to get it across to someone who you wanted to take it seriously. But not so seriously that they'd freak out on you, of course. That was what had stopped him from ever saying anything to Yamato. He hadn't been sure which would be worse - if Yamato had taken him too seriously, or not seriously enough.

Complicating the matter... the guy lying next to him, dozing off in the passenger seat, could be kind of dense. He wasn't flat-out stupid - Ban would've left him in the dust a long time ago if he was stupid - just... he didn't think like most people thought. And so when you skirted around something, hinted at stuff, he'd just take what you said at face value most of the time. Not that he didn't notice the subtleties; Ban had seen him suddenly make some very sharp observations about things he hadn't thought he'd even been paying attention to. That was just the way Ginji was - you couldn't take him at face value either.

And part of that was why Ban thought that... just maybe, he should say something. He'd been thinking about it for awhile, really. It was just, well... it was Ginji. And...

And Ban couldn't quite find words to explain why that made such a difference. He knew they existed, but they weren't in his vocabulary. 'The S in Get Backers' was as close as he could manage, and even that had been kind of soppy, when he thought back on it. Not that he'd take it back. Not ever.

That was pretty much why he couldn't say anything, wasn't it?

...He was never going to get to sleep at this rate. Left hand went for the shirt pocket, right hand for the door's handle. If he was going to be awake, he might as well smoke.

The latch clicked back into place quietly, not closing completely. No sense in waking Ginji up when he didn't have the guts to say anything to him. Unfortunately, the little crack in the door let him hear the clearing of a throat, the creak of the springs as Ginji turned over. "...Can't sleep, Ban-chan?"

"Nah," Ban muttered around the cigarette in his mouth as he turned away and lit up. "S'okay though. Don't mind if you do."

Ginji shook his head as he opened his own door and stood, leaning against the car and looking up at the sky. "I wasn't really asleep yet. I don't think I'm tired enough anyway."

And that was all he said. He could be loud and obnoxious when he felt like it, but he could always tell when Ban just wanted to be left alone. But he wasn't alone, as long as Ginji was there, and somehow being left alone when he wasn't alone was unexpectedly more relaxing than actually being alone. It was something no one but Ginji had ever managed. And though Ban had never been a coward or anything, having Ginji there behind him, just on the other side of the car, made him feel stronger. Braver.

Brave enough. "Hey, Ginji?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever thought about guys...? The way you think about girls?"

He dared to glance over his shoulder, and saw Ginji with a puzzled frown. "Uh, not really. I mean, guys are guys, and girls are girls... I like them both, but they're not the same. Well, Kazu-chan, sort of, but still."

"...Uh-huh." He didn't get what Ban was asking. It figured.

"I like Natsumi-chan," Ginji continued, his thoughtful frown relaxing into simply a dreamy look, "and I like Kazu-chan. But not in the same way."

"Yeah, that would be weird, huh?" Yeah, he was kind of dense - probably never even realized that Kazuki and Juubei were doing it.

"Yup. He's really different from Natsumi-chan, even if he does kind of look like a girl. Like, I can imagine kissing Natsumi-chan..." Ginji smiled slightly. "It would be all soft and sweet and warm, and you would feel her smiling. It would be like kissing sunshine."

"Yeah, probably." Ban had never imagined kissing Natsumi. Not really his type. Maybe because Ginji was right, and that's what kissing her would be like... But then again, that was kind of what he imagined kissing Ginji would be like too. "Heh - not what you'd imagine kissing the thread spool to be like, huh?" Ban couldn't say that he'd ever imagined that either.

"Uh-uh." Ginji shook his head emphatically. "Kazu-chan kisses hard - more hot than warm. Like he's the prince and you're his servant. And there's a lot of tongue."

"...When, uhm..." ...All right, somehow Ban hadn't expected the constrast there to come in the form of an in-depth description. "...when you imagine kissing him, you mean?" Well, it wasn't like it was that weird for guys to be attracted to other guys (especially guys that looked like girls). It was only just weird enough that it seemed weird to some people. And if Ginji had imagined kissing a different guy, well, it was sort of encouraging, as far as Ban was concerned.

Ginji's eyes flickered back to Ban, and suddenly he grinned - that bright, cheerful grin of his. "Don't need to imagine."

"...Uh." Ban hadn't exactly expected that answer either.

Ginji's grin turned a little sheepish. "...What is it, Ban-chan?"

"I, uh, thought you said you didn't think about guys the same way as you thought about girls."

"I don't!" said Ginji with a shrug. "They're both good, but different."

"But you're saying you kissed that guy?" Ginji nodded, and Ban found that any of the things he'd been considering saying over the last few months had vanished from his head. "...But... what about him and Mr. Entertainment?"

Ginji looked startled. "Kazu-chan and Emishi?"

"No!" Ginji never quite got a handle on sarcasm. "The spool's pet porcupine."

"Juubei?" Ginji looked thoughtful again. "Oh - you mean why was I kissing Kazu-chan when they're a couple? Well, heh..." Again, he turned a little sheepish. "It was kinda cold one night... we'd been drinking a little to keep us warm. And Kazu-chan thought it would be fun for me to join them... I don't think Juubei was actually interested in me or anything, but Kazu-chan said I should join them, so he played along. It was just a couple of times, nothing serious."

"...Uh huh..." Ban wasn't quite sure where to go from there. "So... you kissed that other guy too?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know if they'd been doing anything other than kissing.

"I tried," Ginji admitted, and hopped up to sit cross-legged on the hood of the car. "Like I said, he didn't really seem interested. Kazu-chan says it's really different when it's the two of them. Kazu-chan says he's always really gentle, but you can feel the power behind it... Or wait," Ginji abruptly interrupted himself. "Did you mean Emishi after all?"

"...What, did you kiss him too?"

Ginji nodded, looking quite pleased with himself. "Emishi's lots of fun. He laughs a lot in bed, too."

...In bed? So Ginji had... Ban didn't want to think about that.

Unfortunately, Ginji didn't mind talking about it one bit. "Well, he laughs up to a point, anyway - you know what I mean. He's really kind of loud in general. When he gets really into it, his voice cracks and gets all high-pitched," Ginji noted with a fond smile. "It's cute! I guess if any guy is kind of like being with a girl, it's Emishi. He likes it when you play with his hair, too."

"Uh, I'll pass." Well, at least Ban had gotten an answer to one of his questions. He hadn't expected any of these revelations, though, he wondered how much more disturbing it could possibly get. "You kinda... uhm..."

"What is it, Ban-chan?" And there he was, giving Ban that totally dense, curious look again, like he didn't have any idea that what he was saying was anything even vaguely important.

"You were always talking about Natsumi," Ban pointed out. "I thought you liked girls."

"I do! They're really cute," said Ginji. "And like I said, they're really different. Well, most of them - Kaoru was kind of..."

"Kaoru?" Ban was floored.

"Yeah - she was one of the higher-ranking members of Volts, a pyra... peero... uh, she used fire. It was weird, really - she had this huge crush on me, but she didn't come after me when I left Mugenjou."

"No, I mean..." Ban found himself sputtering slightly. "How many fucking times did you get laid back there? With guys and girls?"

Ginji looked startled at the outburst. "Uh... hmm..." His eyes grew distant, a little unfocused, as he started counting on his fingers. By the time he'd finished with his second hand and started over, he noticed the look on Ban's face and paused, looking uncertain. "...Is it a bad thing, Ban-chan? Just being close to someone, physically, when you couldn't be close emotionally... sometimes that helped. And I wanted to help everyone, in any way I could."

...Yeah, that was just like Ginji, even when he was Raitei. That was the impression Ban had gotten from everyone who knew him from back then, anyway - he'd always been Ginji deep down. "Nah, it's not a bad thing." ...There was really a whole lot of ash on the end of his cigarette now, and Ban flicked it off in irritation. Not irritation with Ginji, but with himself. Okay... and a little jealousy too.

Either Ginji couldn't sense that, or he couldn't guess why. "You've done it too, right? It's cold, right down to your very soul, and you just want a little warm place, so you find someone else who wants a little warm place too, even if you know you won't stay..."

"I guess," said Ban absently. Great - Ginji had given him the perfect opening to say what he really wanted to say, and now he didn't want to say it. Idiot, he thought, and wasn't sure who it was aimed at.

Clearly it should have been aimed at himself, because suddenly Ginji scooted closer across the hood of the car. "...You have been with girls before - right, Ban-chan?"

"Yeah."

Ginji looked skeptical. "...Guys?"

Ban turned away, leaning against the side of the car again. "Shut up and get off the car. You're gonna scratch the paint job."

Even with his back turned, he could practically feel Ginji staring at him in surprise. "Shut up!" Ban snapped, turning his head just enough to glare at Ginji.

"But I didn't s-"

"Shut up! And get off the car! It'll get rust spots."

The frame bounced a little as Ginji obliged and slid off the front, fortunately not accompanied by that metal belt of his scraping along as he went. After a moment, though, he came to lean against the side of the car beside Ban. "...It's okay, Ban-chan. It's not like anything I did really meant much. I mean, we were all friends, but anyone could have taken comfort in anyone, back then. All of us had this loneliness, deep down, and we wanted to be free of it for a little while."

This was Ginji being more than face value again. Ban sighed, and looked up to see that bright sunny smile. That was his 'little warm place', which really wasn't so little after all, and he couldn't help but relax.

"But you know what?" Ginji said honestly. "I don't have that anymore."

Ban gave him a little smile in return. "Yeah. Me either."

Their eyes met, and stayed where they were until the smile had slipped from the corners of Ban's mouth. He kind of thought that maybe they shouldn't be looking at each other like that... but then again, maybe they should.

Ginji's own smile remained intact, but there was suddenly a mischievous twinkle to his eye. "And you know what?"

"Hmm?"

"There's some things I've never done too."

The smoke was just curling off the end of Ban's cigarette, because he wasn't breathing. "...Yeah?" He thought he should feel embarrassed that Ginji had figured it out, but all he could feel at the moment was this growing spark of hopefulness. ...And kind of warm in more literal a sense than Ginji had probably meant.

Ginji nodded authoritatively. "I guess I was just waiting for... well, for a time when it wasn't just about being cold and lonely anymore."

Never mind being embarrassed - right now, Ban was entirely glad that Ginji saw more than anyone expected him to. "...Like now?"

"Like now," Ginji agreed, and Ban wondered if Ginji had imagined kissing him the way he'd imagined kissing Natsumi. Well, he thought as he removed the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it - if he had, Ginji was going to find out if he'd been right.

As for Ban, he was mostly right about what it would be like to kiss Ginji, except that at the moment his mouth seemed hot rather than just warm. He actually had kissed a couple of girls before, and Ginji was definitely right - kissing another guy was different. Ginji felt more solid, more real. But then, maybe it was just because it was Ginji.

He felt more like himself when they pulled back to catch their breath, and gave Ginji a little smirk. "So... what was it you were talking about? Stuff you haven't done?"

"Uh, well..." Ginji looked a little sheepish. Never mind that his hand was already up the back of Ban's shirt. "Not to be mean, Ban-chan, but if you haven't been with a guy or a girl before, maybe we should wait a little."

"Fuck that, I'm sick of waiting." He would have done the same as Ginji, if he'd let anyone close enough. Now that he had the chance, he was imagining what they could be doing. It was a very compelling mental image. "Come on - I bet we can find someplace with more room than the Ladybug."

Ginji smiled and squirmed - no doubt in part because of Ban's hand going down the back of his pants. "Okay..." he conceded. "But we're not doing the stuff I've never done before."

"How come?"

"If you don't know what you're doing when you top someone, you can really hurt them."

"I don't care if y..." Ban began, then stopped short. "...Wait." He didn't have any experience topping anyone. "Wait," he repeated. "You do know...?"

"Kazu-chan walked me through it, the first time," Ginji replied cheerfully. "He does it all the time with Juubei, and..." Ginji paused to giggle a little. "He doesn't really get the chance to bottom much, so he thought it would be fun."

"So you always..."

"Yep!"

This somehow changed the scene that had been unfolding itself in Ban's mind. It changed it quite a bit. "...Uhh..." It wasn't... a terrible idea, really... Just he'd been envisioning looking down at Ginji beneath him. The thought of himself on his back with legs in the air... And besides...

"Don't worry, Ban-chan - I know how to be careful. And Kazu-chan says I'm pretty good..."

...And besides, Ban had seen Ginji naked. It wasn't like, say, Shido, but...

Ban's eyes widened as Ginji grabbed his hand and started tugging at it. "Hey, Ginji..." he began warily, letting himself be tugged along. "Is there, uh, anything else you've never done...?"