Set just after Dead Man's Blood while the three Winchesters are hunting together again. No warnings, dialogue only.
Size
"Dean, I needa borrow some socks. Someone hasn't done the laundry yet."
"What you lookin' at me like that for? I told dad I'd do the clothes…"
"Yeah - last week!"
"'Blah blah blah, bitch whinge bitch, I'm a woman.' That's all I'm hearin', Sammy."
"Yeah, whatever. Just, can I borrow some socks or not?"
"Uh-huh. But you can keep 'em when you're done. Don't think I haven't seen those toenails, Shrek."
"At least I change my socks, Dean. You've been wearing those ones, what, four weeks now?"
"Only one day, for your information."
"Wow, that must be some kinda record for you."
"Damn straight. I changed the old ones before we went out for drinks last night. Couldn't have bad feet if I wanted to get some action with…uh…"
"Robin?"
"Yeah, that was her name. Man, she musta been a gymnast or somethin'. She did this thing where she bent all the wa-"
"She worked at Borders, actually. I had to sit at the same table as you guys while you listened to her breasts talking."
"I was right though. They were real. You know how to tell? Put your hands right –"
"Ohhhh-kay, officially crossed the line into uncomfortable. I'm taking your socks and leaving now."
"Aww, you prude."
"Uh-huh. What the– Dean, you keep your condoms in your socks?"
"Tch, trust you to pick out the one pair –"
"Small."
"Huh?"
"Eloquent. I said small. These are small."
"The socks? So? They're probably old."
"Uh, not the socks, Dean."
"…"
"Are you gunna be sick? You look a little green."
"Arhj."
"You did pick these up by accident, didn't you? These are the wrong size, right?"
"…Of course! I, uh, didn't even notice…"
"Right. You know, it's okay to have a small –"
"SAM!"
" –line of sight when you're shopping. I know how you get when we go to the store. In and out, that's your method of choice. In fact, are you sure it's not your method for anything else?"
"Shut the hell up, bitch."
"Tell me, how did Robin enjoy her time with you last night?"
"I am so ignoring you right now."
(NEXT DAY)
"You can't ignore me forever, you know. Dad thinks you're coming down with something. And we're gunna need clean clothes soon."
"…"
"Dean. I'm your brother. There's no need to sulk because I happened to find out about such a tiny, little issue."
"You're such a little prick sometimes, you know that?"
"Did you just call me a little prick? I really don't think that's wise, considering the situation…"
"…"
"…"
"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU BETTER RUN ASSHOLE!"
"Dean, what the hell is going on? Why is Sam hiding in the car?"
"I'm gunna kill him."
