Random story idea.


Chapter 1

It has been nearly a month and I am losing my mind. Yes, I admit, I was mad before, but now—I am truly mad.

I cannot suppress these thoughts. I cannot run from them. I can no longer hide in my once safe dark.

What are these thoughts?

Self-pity.

Self-loathing.

Regret.

I cannot think without them creeping into my mind. There isn't a moment when I don't think of her. Her memory is what keeps me alive. It gives me reason to breathe.

I wish with death.

She stole more mortality and left me with these pains of the heart-this great longing and a desire that can never be satisfied.

She was my inspiration. My music. My love.

Perhaps she was never truly mine to love? Her heart may never had been mine, but her voice and her spirit belonged to me. They still do.

I can only hope one day that she will realize that this phantom—this man loved her and still loves her and perhaps she might think of me and what might have been...

I still desire her love. I will forever. She may forget me as time goes on , but I will never forget her. She shared in my emptiness. Her voice called to me. She yearned for my guidance. I nurtured her...I gave her the world—my world, but she threw it back in my face.

I will never understand, nor do I try anymore, but I do wonder what possibilities that our futures would behold if she had chosen me. I would have showered her in gifts—many pretty things. Whatever she desired and more! She would never want or go without. That would be unthinkable. She would be cherished forever. My goddess; I would worship her. She would dress in the finest silks and furs that money could buy! Oh, Christine, you would have the world!

I would love her every morning and night. I would surround her in roses. She would sing for me, with me. I would be a complete man! I would kiss her pretty lips and she would not shrink away. And, she would accept me as I am...

...as Erik. Just Erik and nothing more. A man who loves a divine little goddess and who will cherish her forever! Not the ghost—the phantom, nor the dark angel—she would love the man Erik. All will be as it should!

But it is not so and perhaps never will be. How I wish it were so. And as always, there is someone—something that comes along to crush my hopes and dreams.

I heard that the Vicomte de Chagny and my dearest Christine are to be wed next Sunday.

I wish them—her the best.

Hell, I should make an appearance.

Perhaps I could see her one last time, before she is lost to me forever. One last time before I lose her to that boy? One last time and then, I truly die.


I would like to think that I'm good at writing "emo" Erik. Reviews are lovely.

Happy Day,

E.O.L.