Author's Note: I do not own The Good Wife or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them for the moment.
Title is taken from a song by Love and Theft.
I apologize if Alicia seems to go OOC at times – shades of my personality may be seeping into the story in places, so I apologize if that detracts from the story.
Late at night, it's lonely and I wonder how I'll ever get through. There's got to be somebody somewhere who's feeling it, too. ~ "Somebody's Needin' Somebody" by Conway Twitty
Will yanked viciously on his tie, nearly choked himself, then pulled the whole thing over his head and flung it at the wall. Why had he agreed to go to this dinner party, anyway?
Alicia. It was always for Alicia. She'd hesitantly asked him to come, and he couldn't say no. He'd never been much good at saying no to her. With a frustrated sigh, he began again with the tie. It was going to be a long night.
Alicia barely managed to hold back tears of frustration as she fussed one last time over her makeup. Why had she asked Will to the party?
She needed him here. It was selfish, she knew, but she needed one person at the table tonight to be unconditionally on her side. She knew how hurt he was that she still hadn't left Peter, but he didn't know the whole story. She hadn't had a chance to explain her end of the deal with Eli Gold, so Will didn't know she felt handcuffed to the sham of a marriage she had with Peter, at least through the election.
Disgusted with her weakness which caused her to drag Will into this dinner, she took a final look in the mirror. After two hours, Peter still hadn't noticed the killer red dress she'd bought. Would Will? Alicia shook her head. She had to stop this – but every time she tried, she was reminded of how much Will meant to her, and how little Peter did.
Tie finally in place, Will took one last look in the mirror. He knew bringing Giada to the dinner was pushing it, but he needed to lash out at Alicia in some way. Just four weeks ago, Alicia had asked him about their relationship, and a short time later, he finally had the nerve to tell her he wanted to give them a shot. Then she had turned on him again, saying he needed a plan, because of her kids, her husband. What did she expect from him? He'd never met her kids; he couldn't get rid of her husband, though he would like to. Will slammed his fist into the wall and took a perverse pleasure in the throbbing pain. She had him tied up in knots and his hopes for anything beyond friendship were fading fast.
Alicia had just put the last of the place cards on the table when she heard Peter greet their first guests. A flurry of arrivals followed, including Will and Giada.
"Good evening." Alicia played the good hostess, trying not to scratch out the law student's eyes. But Alicia knew it was her fault; she hadn't laid claim to Will when she had a chance. She'd been scared and her 'plan' speech was a hastily built wall designed to buy her more time. Although it seemed that time was not on Alicia's side.
He couldn't help it; even though he knew Giada was already suspicious of his relationship with Alicia, he couldn't stop staring at her in that red dress. He kept his hands tucked in his pockets during drinks; his left hand was bruised and beginning to swell. It was also a good excuse not to drink. Although he couldn't help but notice that Alicia had already downed two glasses of wine and as hard as she tried, she couldn't seem to keep her eyes off him.
Damn it! Asking him here had been a mistake. Pushing him away had been a mistake. Everything she'd done lately seemed to be a mistake and she hadn't had more than three hours sleep every night since the press conference. She lifted her glass for another gulp of wine but found it empty. Again. She dropped the glass off in the kitchen and sought the shelter of her room. Maybe a few minutes of peace could clear her head, and besides, Peter hadn't even spoken to her since the party began.
Will saw Alicia disappear down the hall. He took a moment to introduce Giada to some acquaintances, then excused himself. Something was wrong for Alicia to flee the party like that, but even as angry and hurt as he was, he couldn't ignore the feeling that something just wasn't right.
Alicia was seated on her bed, staring at the wall, when she heard the door creak open. Assuming it was Peter, she squeezed her eyes shut and heard the door close. She sighed in relief just before someone sat down beside her.
"Hi."
Alicia's eyes darted sideways and she turned to the left, while the wine she'd drunk made the room spin. "Will."
"Are you okay?"
She turned away again. "No."
She looked so defeated. It broke his heart to see her like that. Carefully, he covered her hand with his. "It's all right.
They both knew he was lying. "No, Will, it's not. I haven't been fair to you, running hot and cold on whether we should start something, then asking you here after…"
"I know." He reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from her eyes and their gazes met.
"Why did you come here tonight?"
"To the party, or to this room?"
"Both."
"For you. You asked me to the party, and I was worried when you came back here alone."
"Will, I…I can't give you what you want right now. I owe Eli too much. I'd ask you for time, but maybe you're better off with Giada." She struggled not to cry, but a tear slid down her cheek anyway.
"No, I'm not. She's not you. I need you."
And at that, Will gathered a sobbing Alicia into his arms. They were trapped, and neither could see a way out.
Eventually, Alicia pulled away. "We should get back."
Will's arms felt strangely empty without her in them. "Sure." As he watched her touch up her makeup, he was hit with a vision of what they could be like, together, and his heart hurt. He wasn't sure they'd ever get there. With a sigh, he left to find Giada.
Alicia returned to the party minutes later. She wasn't sure how she managed to appear calm and in control, but she suspected she was becoming quite the actress. Mingling with her guests, she studiously managed to avoid Will and Giada until dinner.
Unfortunately, Giada managed to manhandle the conversation throughout the meal. Most of the men, including Peter, seemed enamored with her, but Alicia caught Will shooting her apologetic glances over his date's head.
She wasn't sure what was worse – listening to the babbling bimbo, or sitting beside her husband but reveling in the knowledge that Giada meant nothing to Will.
Dinner couldn't be over fast enough, in Will's opinion. Giada's behavior mortified him, and he wanted nothing more than to be free of her as soon as possible.
After finally extricating themselves from the Florrick apartment, Will drove toward Giada's place.
"So, you wanna come in tonight?" He still hadn't been inside her apartment, and Giada was losing her patience.
"Not tonight, but thanks."
She crossed her arms and pouted sulkily for a minute. "Will, what did you disappear for before dinner?" She hadn't missed the fact that Alicia was absent from the room at the same time.
"Personal matter." He couldn't help being short with her.
When he said no more, Giada got angry. "Are you having an affair with her?"
Will was outwardly calm as he deliberately pulled the car to the side of the road in front of her building, but his teeth were clenched so tightly his jaw was already beginning to ache. "No, I am not having an affair with Alicia."
"Oh, really? It certainly looks like you are. You stared at her all night, which was awfully damned rude." When Will didn't answer, she continued, "So that's how it is. She still won't give you the time of day, even after her husband's dalliances with the prostitute? Will, you're pathetic."
Although he hadn't hit a girl since he pushed Missy Watkins on the playground in first grade, Will really wanted to slap that smirk off her face. "Goodbye, Giada."
When the door slammed, he tore off, not sure where he was headed, but he really didn't care.
It was only nine-thirty when the party broke up, but Alicia was exhausted. When Peter left to grab a drink at a nearby bar with a few of their guests, Alicia ignored the mess for once and headed for her room. She changed into an old T-shirt and settled into bed just before her phone rang.
She glanced at it before picking up. "Kalinda? Everything okay?"
"How'd it go tonight?" Kalinda knew about the sticky situations in Alicia's life, and she knew her co-worker was in desperate need of a friend.
"It was a total disaster."
"He brought that student, didn't he?"
Alicia sighed. "Of course." Alicia went on to relate the events of the evening.
"Come out with me tomorrow night. We'll go somewhere loud and dance and drink, so you can get your mind off this mess."
"That sounds great." Kalinda named a time and place, and Alicia promised to meet her there. She hung up and tried to sleep, but thoughts of Will plagued her until the wee hours of the morning.
It was late by the time Will returned home. He'd driven aimlessly for an hour to calm down, then he'd contemplated calling one of the numerous women he knew who would likely welcome his company. Eventually, he discarded that thought as well and simply headed home.
He'd turned off his phone, shortly after dropping Giada off, and left it that way when he went to bed, even though he ached to hear Alicia's voice one more time before falling asleep. Life was hard enough without stolen late night phone calls making things worse.
