Alive
And I feel alive when I'm with you.
Deep inside it's something true.
You're the only reason I fight,
You're the best thing in my life.
~Adelitas Way
Eddie drummed his fingers on the table next to his bed. Patricia, his fiancée, hadn't been in touch with him since yesterday morning when she had been in to visit him. Tomorrow was it, it was the last option. Surgery, they were going to try to remove the tumor. Tomorrow could be it. It could cure him, or it could all be over and he'd continue to die.
He glanced over across the room as two nurses entered. He had final surgery prep, this afternoon, and then the surgery would be first thing in the morning. He watched as the one nurse disconnected his IV, and then the other tried to help him into a wheelchair. This always frustrated Eddie. Just because he was dying didn't mean he couldn't do things for himself. After getting the nurse to take a few steps back. Eddie forced himself off the bed and into the chair. The nurse had just barely wheeled him out of the room when a commotion pulled the nurse away.
Next thing Eddie knew he was being wheeled down the hall and dumped into the elevator.
"Be careful," he snapped rolling onto his back. His eyes met her green ones, just before she tossed a bag in his face.
"You don't look happy to see me weasel," she teased, as he stood up.
"I've been wondering about you all day. I figured you were work-" he was cut off by her lips on his. She tugged at the strings of his hospital gown, before pulling away so he could put the normal clothes she had brought for him. She pulled the hospital scrub shirt over her hair and dropped it to the floor. She straightened her black shirt out, before she slipped the scrub pants off to reveal a skirt. She had worn her usual boots instead of completing the nurse look with white shoes. Eddie dug through the bag, she had brought his favorite Sick Puppies shirt, a pair of jeans, his faded converse, and his leather jacket.
He pulled the shirt over his head, and the pants on. He pulled his jacket on. He shoved his shoes on feet, before returning his attention to Patricia. She didn't say anything, but promptly crashed her lips to his again. They kissed until the heard the elevator ding which meant they reached the ground floor.
"I'm not supposed to leave."
"When have we ever played by the rules? Besides we're going on a field trip. Come on Eddie it won't hurt," she murmured. She knew if the surgery failed he'd be in and out of the hospital until he lost his life. Right now things were still optimistic and all she wanted to do was spend what could be one of his last nights with him, just the two of them, not in a hospital. Outside, and free to do whatever they wanted.
"Well is it going to be an educational field trip," he teased. She glared at him before dragging him the rest of the way out of the hospital and to the parking garage. She had gotten his car out of storage as a surprise. He hadn't been able to drive after treatment, and barely left the house by himself, so they thought that storage was the smartest thing to do. She had a few more surprises planned for him today, but now it was to get him to the second surprise his car.
She figured he'd look for her car, a windowless white van. She hoped it wouldn't take him long to notice his faded red Ford Ranger though. She had parked the car in a visible spot, and if he didn't figure it out within fifteen. minutes she'd give him the benefit of the doubt and point it out to him.
"Okay Yacker, where's your car," he muttered. The garage was empty and he wondered if she might have parked it on another level.
"Didn't bring it," she smirked. He had only spent ten minutes looking. He had five more then she'd tell him.
"Did you walk?"
"No," she smiled. It must've been then he noticed his truck.
"You got my car out of storage?"
"You haven't driven it in so long, and I figured why not," she watched as his face lit up. She wondered how he'd take the other surprises she had in store. She pulled the keys out of her pocket and handed them over.
"Where to Yacker?"
"Anywhere. Pick a place and we'll go. Just us," that was part one of her plan. To let him take her wherever. They'd be able to talk a bit hopefully. It could be a distraction they could avoid the current situations at hand. She didn't want to talk about his cancer, or how short his life could very well be. She wanted to reminisce, and talk about the future they still had together. Their wedding, anything. Just not the end that could very well be looming.
She didn't say anything just got into the truck and listened as Sick Puppies filled the air, upon the truck starting. He had left the CD in when they had taken the truck to storage, and it had been a pleasant surprise when she drove the vehicle to the hospital earlier that day.
"Are we still going to have I Hate You be our first dance song Patricia," he joked. That had become a joke of theirs shortly after they had gotten engaged.
"You know it slimeball."
"So we have our song picked out, what other planning do we need to do?" She smiled, glad he had wanted to talk about their wedding as if it was still a strong possibility. She wondered that if the surgery failed would they even try to get married or not. It was weird to think, but if he was to die, she wanted to be his wife no matter when that occurred. Weather it be a few months or years from now.
"We still have a lot of planning to do," she sighed. They had gotten engaged two years ago and only three months later they had found the cancer. They battled it fiercely, and he had even been given a clean bill for three months before they found more. He had done the chemo and radiation again, and tomorrow was it. Surgery or nothing. He could lose his life in mere months.
"We should get on that. I want to marry you as soon as possible," he smiled pulling off into a wooded deserted road. She had a good idea where they were headed. They had found this place a few months before they had gotten engaged. She knew he'd pull the car over soon and they'd get out and get walking. There was a wooded pond area down a dirt path, and they would go on dates there. He had actually proposed to her there.
"Yeah about that, I don't think I want to be tied down to a slimeball for the rest of my life," she joked. She made a mental note of the frown he gave when she had said my life. She didn't want to say his life. His life span could easily be shortened, and her's? She could keep living long after he was gone.
"Remember this place," he joked. They hadn't been back since he had told her he had cancer.
"How could I forget? There are so many memories here." The spent the next few hours talking, they made more wedding plans. He had wanted to try and pick a general date, but she told him to wait until tomorrow.
"Lets get out of here, we have plans," Patricia joked, grabbing him to pull him back to the car.
"Where to?"
"I'm driving because it's a surprise," she joked. She had a silver scarf in the truck, and she planned on tying it around his head, a bit reminiscent about one of their first dates. He let out a sigh as she took the keys back from him.
"Any hints?"
"No, but you're getting blindfolded again," she laughed, racing in front of him to unlock the door and grab the scarf from the glove compartment.
"Plan on taking me to a tunnel again?"
"Not this time."
"Good."
"Unless you really want to be sappy in front of our friends again."
"Yeah thanks for that though. I tried being sweet, and you were just using me to solve a task."
"Yeah yeah whatever."
The truck was silent as she drove. She was taking him home, where all their friends from Anubis waited. She had been working on this for weeks, getting them all here. She was thankful that Fabian had moved to America to be with Nina, and they only lived an hour away. Then there was KT and her pastor of a husband, that lived in the neighborhood. The others she had arranged to be flown in, and had set them up with places to stay. Nina and Fabian ended up getting a hotel for two nights. Amber and Alfie crashed at KT and Nick's. Jerome and Mara had also stayed in a hotel. Lastly Mick and Joy had stayed with Patricia.
The past few days had been weird for Patricia. She had gotten used to coming home to an empty house. She'd come home to Joy and Mick. It had only been three days, but Patricia dreaded the possibility that she could be coming home to an empty house again. No one knew the entire depths of what a toll him being sick took on her. The quiet house some nights was driving her to the brink of insanity. She hated thinking that she could lose him forever. If she did she didn't know what would happen to her.
She saw the sign for her neighborhood and pulled onto the road. Never in a million years did she think she'd be living in America in a subdivision in a cookie cutter house that was identical to the one right next door. She also never thought that she'd have to sit back and watch as Eddie would continue to battle for his life. She finally pulled into the drive of their house.
"We're here," she smiled weakly. She got out of the truck quickly and went to the side to let him out and guide him to the house. Joy and KT had taken care of everything, they had set up two tables in the backyard. One for food and another to sit and dine at. Patricia knew all their friends would be waiting for them out back.
"Where's here," he asked as she opened the door. She watched him closely waiting for him to trip on his way out. She let out a laugh when he made it out safely.
"You'll find out in a few moments," she scoffed. She then grabbed his wrist to pull him to the backyard. She stood behind him to untie the scarf as their friends gathered around to cheer and greet him. She pulled the scarf off his head, and watched his face light up as he saw their friends. Their friends gathered around quickly, and hugs and small talk was exchanged.
"When do you have to get him back," Joy asked pulling Patricia to the side. That was the question Patricia dreaded. She didn't want to take him back to the hospital. She wanted the day to just keep going. Just the two of them and their friends. No worries.
"He wasn't supposed to leave in the first place," Patricia sighed. Joy and Patricia watched as their significant others, talked most likely about sports. Patricia blinked rapidly in opens of avoiding the tears, she could already feel coming. She had worked so hard on never crying infront of people as he had been battling his cancer. She wasn't going to start now, she needed to remain optimistic.
Joy didn't say anything but was soon walking over to where the rest of their friends were hanging out the guys in one spot of the yard the girls in the other. Patricia watched her friends and Eddie. Things were easy, well easier. Patricia had been too lost in thoughts and worries she hadn't noticed Eddie had snuck away from the boys and was standing behind her. Patricia jumped slightly, feeling his arms around her waist.
"I'm having fun. Thanks for this," he whispered into her ear.
"It was the least I could do," she murmured.
"I think it's time to eat," he laughed. Grabbing her by her waist and dragging her off to the food table. The others noticed and soon joined him. They had all gathered their food and were now seated at the table.
"So did you guys pick a wedding date yet. I even designed a custom dress for you Patricia. It's totally you, and I need a date so I can start sewing it. Plus you'll have to approve the design. We need to get on this Ms. Williamson," Amber blabbered on.
"We haven't picked a date yet, it's been a bit hard," Patricia sighed. She'd love to see Amber's design. She'd love to know she'd walk down the aisle in said dress and become a Mrs. Miller.
"I think we should get married now," Eddie whispered quietly.
"Wait. What?"
"Come on Yacker. We don't know how much time we have. Nick can marry us can't he," Eddie questioned his gaze falling on KT and her husband.
"I can marry you, but you don't have a marriage license, so it wouldn't be legal until then," KT's husband, Nick, responded looking at the two.
"Let's do it then, what do you say Yacker," he asked turning his attention to her. Completely focused on her. He was serious, this was something he actually wanted.
"Yes," she found herself saying. It could all be over tomorrow. They might not have the chance after that.
"But she doesn't have a dress, and her hair and makeup," Amber questioned. She did not plan on sitting back and watching two of her friends get married and not look nice, doing it.
"Amber we don't have forever," Patricia sighed.
"Just let me curl your hair, do your makeup, and pick a dress from our closet," Amber stated.
"Fine."
There was no sense in fighting Amber. All Patricia wanted to do now was to marry Eddie, before she'd have to take him back to the hospital. Amber bounced up from the table dragging a semi willing Patricia back to the house. The other girls followed, the two.
"So you two are finally getting married, and suddenly," Jerome questioned.
"It seems like it. I mean after tomorrow we might not have a chance, so its now or never. I need to live life to it's fullest, before its too late."
"You think it's not going to work don't you," Alfie asked.
"I'm trying to remain hopefully, but it's hard. They've been numbering my days for quite awhile now."
"You'll pull through mate," Mick spoke up quietly. Mate was the one thing he had never been able to shake after his three years in Australia. He had moved back to England for college. Nina and KT returned a few moments later.
"Amber too much for you," Jerome teased.
"I think Patricia is about to murder her, but the dress they found is gorgeous," Nina stated. Mara was the next to return, leaving Joy, Amber, and Patricia in the house. Eddie fidgeted in his seat. Things seemed to move fast all of a sudden. He was about to marry Patricia. It was spur of the moment, and unplanned, so it scared him. What if she wanted more? What if they didn't get the chance for a bigger wedding?
"You got really quiet all of a sudden Eddie," Fabian noted.
"Just worried," he murmured.
"Well you're going to get married in like five minutes," Mara stated.
"It's not about the fact that I'm getting married. It's the surgery its the past few months. What if this is the only wedding we get the chance for? I could easily be dead in a few months. I feel like Patricia is owed a real wedding."
"She said yes. She wants to marry you," Alfie pointed out. Fabian was just about to speak up when Joy, Amber, and finally Patricia stepped outside.
"You're drooling," Jerome teased noting Eddie's expression. Patricia was wearing a black dress it was solid until a point in the skirt where it was a lacy overlay over white, and then there was a small stripe of white at the bottom
"This was the only thing with white I could find in your wife to be's closet," Amber taunted.
"I think she looks gorgeous," Eddie smirked looking at her. Her hair hadn't been curled like that since high school and her makeup was simple and neutral except for the heavy eyeliner that Patricia hadn't seemed to have grown out of.
"So what do you say? Should we get you two married," Nick asked breaking Eddie's stare.
"You in Yacker?"
"Yes," she smiled nervously. She was just about to randomly get married in her backyard. Only her friends in attendance. She was comfortable with the small wedding, but she thought her friends and family should've been told. There wasn't time to worry about that. KT had agreed to take pictures, seeing as she was a professional photographer and luckily had her expensive camera in the car.
The guys worked on moving the tables off to side. The lined up the chairs for the few people that would be sitting and watching the wedding. Alfie was in charge of music. They had decided quickly that instead of the traditional wedding march, that Patricia would walk down the aisle to the Polar Opposition version of All The Same. KT was photographing. Nick was to marry them. Joy was Patricia's maid of honor. That meant Eddie had to pick a best man. He settled on Jerome. He kinda owed Jerome for his help in getting he and Patricia together. He had assigned them to the wonkey donkey and the rest became history.
"Hey Jerome, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you be my best man?"
"What about stutter Rutter?"
"Well, if you don't want the position I'll ask him."
"I'd love to in that case," Jerome joked. That was it everything was planned and the yard was set. Everyone was gathered in their places. Joy and Patricia were back in the house waiting for their cues. Nick was standing up front with Eddie and Jerome off to the side. KT was standing off to the side camera ready to go. Everyone else was seated.
Music drifted through the speaker dock they had brought outside, and Joy was now heading down the made up aisle. Eddie's eyes were focused on the house door. He was waiting for Patricia. To see her walking towards him ready to be his wife. The song changed gears so now Sick Puppies was playing through the air. The door was opened and Patricia stepped out. Eddie's eyes were so focused on her. In just a little bit she'd be his till death did them part. Time seemed to slow down, and everyone had turned to watch as Patricia walked down the aisle. After what seemed like forever Patricia was standing infront of him.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Eddie Miller and Patricia Williamson in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. " Nick announced as Alfie stopped the music.
Eddie's focus was solely on Patricia as Nick talked. He remembered hearing something about the sanctity of marriage, and then a few other things. Eddie couldn't recall half of what had been said. All he knew is that soon he'd be married to Patricia. Before Eddie knew it, it was time for the vows. Patricia spoke first nervously.
"I, Patricia, take you, Eddie, to be my friend, my lover, the father of my children and my husband. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity," she said nervously. They hadn't had much time they both had to learn their vows quickly. He couldn't remember saying his vows, and the next thing he knew was they were saying I do.
"I know pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride," Nick announced. Eddie moved forward dipping Patricia and planting on kiss on her. The split apart a few seconds later and turned to their friends, smiles plastered on their faces. The walked back down the makeshift aisle, and their friends joined them. It was noise of congratulations and smiles. No one had noticed Alfie had snuck away from the group.
"I think it's time we let the newlyweds share a dance," Alfie hollered. He had taken his spot back over by the speakers. Everyone split from their newly married friends and watched the couple with shocked expressions. A familiar song started to play through the speakers and the couple laughed.
"What do you say Misses Miller shall we dance," Eddie asked extending his hand.
"Only if you don't step on my feet," she laughed taking his hand. I Hate You wasn't exactly a happy newly married couple song, but it was them. It wasn't the kind of song you would slow dance to but they did. After the song ended Alfie put the music player on shuffle, and went to get Amber to dance. Eventually everyone was dancing.
"I hate to be a downer, but I should probably get back Patricia, you kind of broke me out of the hospital," Eddie said suddenly in a whisper. Patricia frowned. She had almost blocked out all thoughts of his surgery. It hadn't been a focus since they decided to get married spur of the moment.
"I suppose you're right,' she groaned. She didn't want him to go back. She wanted to stay in her backyard dancing with him, surrounded by her friends. She pulled away from him to tell Joy that she was taking Eddie back to the hospital now. Joy agreed to take care of clean up.
Patricia and Eddie walked back to his truck, neither said anything. The song they had just danced to filled the speakers, and Patricia felt tears burning her eyes. She had been so happy mere moments ago, and now life crashed against her again. The fact she could lose him in just a few months, his surgery, and everything else. She wanted to go back to the semi ignorant bliss state she was in only moments ago.
"You okay Yacker," he questioned suddenly.
"Just worried."
"Everything's gonna be fine. I'll be healthy again. We can get married for real with our families, and we'll live happily after."
"Promise?"
"I promise," he laughed. The hospital soon came into view. Her stomach dropped.
"Do you mind if I don't come in. I should help them clean up the yard. I'll be back first thing before your surgery," she mumbled quietly.
"It's fine Yacker. I'll see you in the morning," he responded. He leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the lips before bouncing out of the truck and back into the hospital.
"Where were you," the head nurse Sara asked as soon as Eddie stepped out of the elevator.
"My wife kidnapped me," he laughed.
"You're not married."
"We got married in our backyard, with our friends around," he smiled.
"Well congratulations to you two. You're still in trouble, because you skipped out on surgery prep. And also becaude you didn't invite me to the wedding. I'll phone down, and see if they can squeeze you in," she muttered shaking her head. Eddie noted the smile on her face. She had joked a few times that when Eddie and Patricia finally got married that she wanted to be invited. She was actually one of Eddie's only friends in the hospital, and she and Patricia seemed to get along. Eddie headed back to his room, and laid back in his bed.
"They'll be here for you in fifteen minutes, and you need a gown," Sara announced tossing a new gown at him.
"Why," he groaned. He was still content in the clothes Patricia had thrown at him.
"Because I said so."
"Yes mom," he whined as she left. He pulled himself out of his bed again to change. Moments after he was back in his gown, they came to take him to prep.
Prep had gone well and he was now back in his hospital room. KT had emailed the pictures to him, and he was now saving them to his phone. He smiled well looking at them. He turned his attention to the clock somehow midnight had rolled around and he decided to go to sleep.
Eddie was awoken the next morning by Sara and Patricia.
"Congrats again you two," Sara said with a smile leaving the two alone.
"What time is it," Eddie groaned, sitting up.
"Seven, your surgeries in an hour," she said glumly.
"Don't remind me," he grumbled.
"Everythings gonna be fine. You promised last night."
"I know."
"Do you still promise?"
"Yes. I promise that everything's going to be fine."
"Good," she smiled. They talked about the previous day, and how everything was going to work out after his surgery, and soon enough they'd be able to live happily after. Soon enough Eddie was taken to surgery and Patricia headed to the waiting room. Her fingers nervously drumming the table. She had been told it would take about an hour. They'd receive general news shortly after Eddie was returned to his room. If it was good news, they'd run tests again in a few weeks to make sure it had worked.
She tried to focus on her phone. She was texting Joy, who was going to be in the states for another week. Jerome, Mara, Amber, and Alfie were leaving back to England today. Nina and Fabian had driven home that morning. Time seemed to be going slowly. She felt like she had been in the waiting room for hours, but it had only been an hour. She was lost in thoughts, which were soon interrupted by Sara.
"Patricia," she said quietly.
"How is he? Is you okay?"
"Patricia. I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"It wasn't a success? I'm going to lose him in a few months time?"
"No it's worse than that."
"What could be worse than that?"
"There were complications. Something went wrong. He didn't make it out of surgery. I'm so sorry for your lose."
"This is a joke right? The slimeball promised me he'd be fine. He'd get better. Is this a sick joke," she asked tears bursting forward. She knew deep down it was true, and that he was gone. Her slimeball. Her husband of only a few hours was gone. The only guy she had ever dated was gone. Just like that. Some stupid thing went wrong, and she lost him.
"Patricia."
"He's gone. He promised me we'd live happily ever after, and he's gone," Patricia sobbed. Sara didn't say anything, just sat next to the crying Patricia and tried to comfort her.
So Eddie's dead.
Wedding wasn't fun to write...
Also anyone want me to write an alternate ending?
Can we talk about how I get in the major writing mood like half an hour after the episode airs? I mean I started this January 31st.
You should also now go watch the music video for this song ;)
