"I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable..."
Title: Affections
Summary: "You killed me when you said nothing. You killed me when you did nothing...never once was your affection mine." -Chris
Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed and I do not own above lyrics.
For a split-second, Chris looked anguished, his face twisted with some hidden secret, some hidden hurt.
Leo moved forward, his eyes worried, "Chris? Are you alright?"
But rage is quick to possess one who so readily accepts it.
"What do you think?" Chris hissed as he started to back into the kitchen.
"Dad???" He spewed the word at his father as though the very word was disgusting. "What a lie, always was and always will be. Don't you get it?"
Leo stared straight into the eyes of his son.
"You killed me."
Leo started, shocked. "I wha-"
Chris laughed a cold, biting laugh. "You killed me every time you didn't have enough time for me. You killed me every time your gaze would pass right over me. You killed me when you said nothing. You killed me when you did nothing." His glare was enough to freeze the core of hell.
"But I-"
"Yeah," Chris interrupted with a warped smile, "but you always had enough time for Wyatt. Never once was I ever able to tear your gaze from him. Never once was your affection mine."
Chris chuckled darkly. "And what do I need affection for anyway? The hell with love. And to hell with you."
"Some burdens are too hard to bear alone, Chris." Leo's voice was ever calm, ever knowing. And it infuriated Chris to even more rash actions.
"You betrayed me!" Chris shouted, upturning the dining table with one almighty blast from his hands. The table exploded and all its tiny fragments spun towards Leo.
"So why in hell should I trust you???" Chris screamed, roared, bellowed.
"Chris, I-" Leo began, teleporting out of the way of the splintering wood and reappearing behind Chris, "I don't want to-"
Chris whirled around, his eyes ablaze with fury. "What?" He stepped up to his father until their faces were merely inches apart. "You don't want to hurt me?"
"Well, it's a little late for that, isn't it?" Chris took a step back, "Dad."
And before Leo can say another word, Chris was gone in a brilliant flare of blue sparks.
Twenty miles away, in a lonesome rainy alleyway, there was a sudden swirl of blue flickers.
Chris appeared.
For a moment, he stood, the downpour soaking him in a second. Then, he fell to his knees and turned his face towards the dark heavens of night.
The rain painted tears on his face and he closed his eyes.
'What a lie...'
'You killed me.'
'...you did nothing
'Never once...'
'The hell with love.'
'...hell with you."
'You betrayed me!'
'You betrayed me!'
'You betrayed me!'
The words echoed through his mind, no matter how hard he tried to dispel them.
'...to hurt me?"
"God," Chris confided to the sky. "After all those years of trying so hard to make myself believe that he can't hurt me anymore, there he goes. It took him one moment to break through all those barriers and kill me all over again."
Drops fell from his soaking hair as he bowed his head forward and opened his eyes.
"Damn him." He muttered to the cold, wet pavement.
"Damn him, damn him, damn him," he murmured angrily to the puddle gathering underneath him.
'Some burdens are too hard to bear alone.'
"Liar," he whispered to no one. Some burdens were too hard to share...
'You betrayed me.'
Some burdens were better left with him.
After all, Chris mused while smiling crookedly, don't I deserve them?
"I'm the one who's damned..."
He fingered at the dark puddle seeping into his clothes, his skin.
"...Dad."
Author's Notes:
I am not totally familiar with the show Charmed. I just so some more of it today and decided that I wanted to make Chris suffer because he makes such a good martyr.
Giggles.
Review if you want to see another chapter and spoil me silly!
Delighted squealing.
