Author's Notes:

I'm not so much an author, more a guy with WAY too much time on his hands. Anyway, here's my first shot at some satire, so go easy on me, eh? Inspired from today's financial wreck that is Wall St, thanks Wall St!

Heh, a cookie and a high-five to whoever can guess where I got the name of this story from!

Well, enough of me babbling, here's the prologue.


Prologue: Fiscal Crisis

Lucas was resting on his bed in the MOTHER Dorm. He had just come up from dinner and was in the middle of an 'after-dinner contemplation' moment. There was quite a stir earlier today; Master Hand spent a good part of the day weeping uncontrollably (and smacking Crazy Hand silly with a big stick). Word spread around the Smash Mansion that the Brawl Tournament was on the brink of financial doom. Apparently Crazy Hand committed a helluva faux pas while in Tokyo in a meeting with Nintendo senior company officials. Though neither Hands would disclose what exactly happened, what they did make clear was that Nintendo cut off their funding and financing 'until further notice.' In other words, the Smash Bros franchise was utterly screwed.

A dreary and rather depressing atmosphere overtook the mansion after the news broke. Everyone was pretty bummed out at the prospect of never being able to beat the hell out of each other anymore. All mandated brawls were cancelled for the week, though the smashers were free to brawl for however long the tournament lasted, though everyone would have to disband permanently once the Smash Mansion's coffers dried up.

Hardly anyone had even the slightest idea of how to solve Brawl's fiscal crisis. Lucas was particularly disappointed and saddened about this. He just got there and had only brawled for a couple of months, and now it was bankrupt and shutting down?

"Talk about weak…" he muttered.

Lucas so desperately wished that there was a way he could help the situation, but alas, nothing came to mind. Deciding that doom was inevitable, he snatched up the television remote on the nightstand beside his bed and flicked on the HDTV that hung on the wall. Switching over to the business-news network, he vacantly stared at the various talking heads going on about stock picks, the Industrial Dow-Jones Average, and other economic blah blah.

"If only we could get in on that financial game. Hmm… why can't we?" he wondered aloud. Then the figurative light bulb clicked on in his head, "Bingo… maybe."

Finally, an idea happened itself upon Lucas. It was pretty grand with plenty of risk, but potentially high return as well. Though he didn't know exactly what he would do, he figured it was better than doing nothing, inaction would ensure that this would be the last Smash Tournament ever. Having enough inspiration for one day, Lucas elected to call it a night and started getting ready for bed. He decided that he would sleep on the matter tonight and fine-tune his plan with some research in the library the next day.

He turned off the TV and lights before hopping into bed. Getting comfortable under the covers, Lucas felt particularly hopeful that his solution could actually work and be Smash Bros' salvation. Or not, but it wasn't like they had anything to lose from it. With newfound ambition and hope, Lucas fell asleep with a final muse, "Yeah, whatever it is I'm going to do, it's gonna be BIG…"


Mwuhahahaa! I'm so evil with the puns. Expect that a lot. So, whaddya' think? Drop a review, if you would, please. I'll try to get the first chapter up as soon as possible, but I am rather busy, what with the post secondary education and such…

Well, till next time people!

PS: McCotter for President! WOOT!