He went into her room, awakened by her cries. Not that they were loud, mind you, but he was aware that she was hurting, and for some reason that thought hurt him. It shouldn't- she wasn't his responsibility. Yet in a way, now that the search for Sophia was over, Carol had become his reason for going. He didn't know what he was feeling for her. All he knew was that she never treated him like everyone else had.
Rick was all right. He handled things, but when he or Shane couldn't, Daryl would step up to the plate. He had to. It was all about survival, and in the pecking order of things, Daryl found a strange sense of comfort knowing he mattered. People depended on him, though he didn't know why. It was chaos, pure chaos that they were living in, so he supposed if someone found something to believe in, well, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.
Why he went to her that night, he didn't know. Maybe it was sympathy. Maybe it was pity, like he would a puppy. But the fact was, he went to her, and she didn't turn him away.
Daryl didn't say anything. He put a finger over her mouth to quiet her, and their eyes met for a moment. Once Carol realized what was going on, she knew she couldn't protest. She needed to feel something, anything, just to let her know that she was still alive. Physically, obviously she still was, but mentally and emotionally something had died within her with Sophia and even when Ed died. He was a bastard, but he was her husband, and she often had trouble reconciling her reactions to his behaviors. Sometimes she would clean the house until it was spotless, and he would still hit her. Other times she could be fast asleep and he would want that, and she would go ahead with her wifely duties. So part of her was terrified of what was happening, but it was too late to turn back now.
In actuality, it was she who made the first move. She touched his face, and while he pulled back at first, she proceed to touch him, to feel him, to know him. Neither of them were quite sure of how far to go, what boundaries to push, but this didn't feel wrong. It might not have felt natural, at least not at first, but it definitely felt right.
It started off with a slow trail of kisses along her neckline. Daryl stopped and examined Carol closely. His eyes drifted off to her short hair, and self-consciously she ran her hand through it. Stopping her, he took her hand and lowered it down to her side. The hair may have been the first thing he noticed about her, but it wasn't her most noticeable feature. It was her delicate features. She looked fragile and he knew her well enough to know there was a strength inside of her that was betrayed by the severity of her hair. But Daryl didn't care about that. She had her reasons for that, and he supposed that Ed was the reason for it. In the barely lit midnight room, she had a strange glow about her, one that he'd never noticed about her before.
Theirs was an interesting dance. Go away come back, give and take, push and pull. But tonight it peaked with their newest dance. It was the dance of intimacy, one which took normal couples years to perfect and become comfortable with.
It was the first kiss that was the hardest step to take. Neither one knew how or when to initiate, but finally Carol did, and to her surprise he did not protest. She didn't know what to expect from him at the moment, but she cared so little about her life that the thought of rejection hadn't crossed her mind. He gave in, a bit unsure of himself (experience with women wasn't his strong suit) but he returned it, anxiously and quickly. Once the first barrier was crossed the rest came easily.
There were a lot of touches, a lot of little glances. Both were scared to death of what was happening, but for just that moment, it was all they needed. Doing what she'd silently been doing in her mind for a long time, she removed his sleeveless shirt, and she looked him over so subtly that if he hadn't been studying her he might have missed it. But seeing the look of approval in her eyes, he was encouraged to continue.
He pulled her a little bit closer, so close that she could feel him against herself. Just the look of anticipation in her eyes pleased him a little, and he kind of wished he could tell her how he was feeling at the moment. But that wasn't his style; instead he returned the favor, and just the slightest hint of a smile on his face told her more than the English dictionary could have. She felt attractive and noticed and safe, and she knew then and there it would be okay to proceed, albeit with caution.
She started to tug at his jeans, but wasn't quite sure of how far she should go. He wasn't ready to let her take charge, not quite yet, so he helped her get himself out of his jeans. They looked at each other, their eyes hungry with anticipation, and the next step was to allow Carol to be herself, truly herself, perhaps for the first time in her life.
She felt a quick twinge of shame. After all, she hadn't had much experience herself, other than the nightmare that was Ed, and she had to remind herself that Daryl wasn't Ed. This was better, much better, and different and new at the same time.
Afterward they didn't say a word to each other. They just turned with their backs to each other and then tried to fall asleep. Both of them were still too exhilarated to sleep, but they couldn't present their true feelings to the other, not yet. As Daryl drifted off to sleep, he knew that this wouldn't be the last time. When and where and how he didn't know, but there would be a next time. And for the first time in months they both slept the best sleep of their lives.
The end
