She's a phantom, I feel her touch ghost on me
I long to wake form this dream and find her arms around me
She may be gone but she's still all around
You can still find her wherever I am found
Rachel has always been a little bit in love with Quinn Fabray, but between the bullying and the names and the fact that Quinn Fabray seemed to hate her, she never found an opportunity to proclaim her love to the cheerleader.
Senior year had come, and it seemed to Rachel that she and Quinn were becoming friends. And Rachel was trying so hard to figure out how to tell the blonde how she felt without ruining their tentative friendship, but she always came up short.
And then one day, Quinn was gone. Nobody had seen her or heard from her, she was just gone. Her parents didn't know where she'd gone, and Russell hadn't really cared all that much, muttering something to himself that sounded suspiciously like "Thank God she's gone." Her mother, at least had been more concerned, but Rachel, it seemed, was the only one who seemed genuinely worried about it. Well, Santana and Brittany had been worried too, but only after she hadn't come back after a few days. Rachel supposes she understands why it took them so long. Quinn had been known to disappear to deal with things, but then, she had always come back. But Rachel, Rachel had had that feeling in her gut, an instinct that told her when she didn't show up to school that first day, that something was terribly wrong.
By the time graduation rolled around, the police had stopped searching for the blonde. And, to and extent, Rachel had too. She hadn't wanted to, but the police had said something about her probably being dead. Her mother had held a sort of funeral for her, and everyone had seemingly been moving on. Rachel hadn't given up hope though. She had to stop focusing so much on finding Quinn now, in hopes that she could move on to something that would help her find Quinn later. After all, it was more than likely that Quinn was no longer in Ohio. No longer in a place where the high school Rachel Berry would be able to find her anyway.
And yet, everywhere she looked she saw Quinn. Even in her own mirror. Her memory followed Rachel everywhere. As did all her questions. What had made the blonde leave? Did she leave of her own accord? Had she been taken? Where was she now? Would she ever see her again? Did she know that her family had given up so easily? Did she know that wherever Rachel set her eyes, she was looking for her, hoping that she would miraculously appear again? Was she too late? Did she return any of her unspoken feelings?
It had been years since the day that Quinn had disappeared, and Rachel was still looking for her. Not as actively as she had been once, she couldn't afford to keep that up, though she wished that she could. Now it was more like hoping. Hoping, that she would see Quinn around the next corner she turned, or behind the next door she opened, or when she opened her eyes in the morning that Quinn would be there.
