Einsamkeit – Noun. German. A condition or state of being lonely. A feeling of depression from being lonely.


Author's note: This story was loosely based on Within Temptation's The Last Dance.


It was truly unbelievable. No, it was actually impossible and yet proof of it was already in front of his eyes. "No," he whispered, still not believing. "No," he repeated, this time with a louder voice. "No!" At this point, he was ready to slash whoever was closest to him. "The fuck! Stop playing with me!"

Gintoki Sakata bowed; regret reflecting in his fish-like eyes. He himself could not accept what happened. "I'm not joking," he murmured.

The blood chilling scream of Sougo Okita made everyone in the room jump from fright. The commander and vice-commander were the fastest to react from this. They both tackled the raging young man before he could even draw his sword. "Sougo!" Kondo called out, trying to knock some sense to his captain. "This is not the time to act harshly!"

"Let go! I am going to kill that bitch!"

Otae came into the room calmly, giving a chilling stare at the three policemen. "Is that a way to behave in Kagura's funeral?" she asked coldly.

Okita bowed in acceptance. There was no mistake. She was dead. She was gone.

The brown haired male stared at the stars. He had been doing this since she was buried. Each time he does this, tears would threaten to fall. "Why must you leave me?" he whispered before slowly moving back to his room.

It had been four years since that incident. Four long years of waiting for a miracle that would never happen. Four years of boredom. Four years of demanding an explanation from the stars.

"What the heck, sadist," a female voice, closely resembling that of China's, whispered. Sougo ignored it, thinking it was his insomniac playing tricks on him again. He moved to the showers and started his business there.

Thirty minutes had passed before the former captain finally stepped out of the steaming bathroom. He blinked in surprise. "Now I'm hallucinating," he murmured to himself before shaking his head. There, sitting on the chair next to his bed, was the one and only China. She had grown, yes, and was wearing a white gown. Was he that desperate to imagine such a foul beast in an angelic outfit?

"Be grateful that Kami-sama agreed that I visit you," the figure smirked. She stood from her position and gave a sad smile. "You have grown, saidst," she sighed.

The sadist was dumbstruck. He stepped closer. This was not his imagination. She was there! "You gave me a fucking heart-attack back then!" he breathed.

Kagura perked up. She tilted her head in confusion. "Heart-attack?" she repeated.

When they were only a breath from each other, Sougo hugged her. He bit back a sob when his hands passed through the figure. "Shit," he cursed, kneeling in grief. "I really am delusional."

The beauty stepped back before kneeling in front of the male. "Sorry, sadist," she apologized, knowing full well why he could not look at her. "Come to bed."

"Why?"

"Because I said so, you jerk. Why won't you listen to a dead person's wish?"

"Because you ain't dead."

"Sadist."

The brown haired male sighed, feeling better after a bit of verbal fight from his rival. He doesn't care anymore if this figure was a demon, ghost, or just a fragment of his imagination. As long as his sanity doesn't go deeper to the abyss, he would gladly comply. Lying on the bed, his maroon orbs stared back at the smirking female. "Ready to drag me to hell?" he joked.

"Go to sleep."

"No," the male monotonously protested. "You'll leave me again. Like four years ago," he unconsciously added.

Kagura stared at the handsome sadists before again sighing. Taking a deep breath, she started singing.

She sang for you last night, she heard you were calling

Drowning in tears a thousand times

Your spirit was floating, your spirit was searching

On a cloud of dreams.

A moon beam shines bright in the city of Angels

Guiding the dreamers back to life

And they'll do the same, every tomorrow

'Till the pain subsides.

He tried to fight the darkness blurring his vision. Her voice was soft, not the thing he remembered years ago. As he listened to the song, his hand unconsciously grabbed hers, albeit failing to do so. It didn't bother him. As long as she was here. "Please," he whispered, pleading. "Don't leave again…"

Staring at the sleeping figure, Kagura smiled. "I will always be here, sadist," she replied before disappearing with the night.

Okita woke up from a dreamless sleep, tears flowing nonstop. He stared at the cream-colored ceiling blankly before sighing. "You never keep your promises, do you?" he whispered before crawling out of bed.

Like usual, he would seclude himself from both the Shinsengumi and his friends. Kondo started panicking, dragging both Gintoki and Hijikata into the fray.

Another month of misery for everyone who knew Okita before the Prince Sadist collapsed from lack of energy.

Hijikata gave a sigh of relief before dragging the unconscious body back to his quarters. Gintoki and Kondo followed with the latter screaming in panic about death.

Once Kondo calmed down, Gintoki grumbled. "You really need to shorten his leash," he commented.

"If you didn't let the China female die, we wouldn't be in this situation," Hijikata snapped. Days without his cigarette had taken a toll on the black haired demon.

Fish-eyes glared at the mayora but said nothing. He simply walked out of the room.

Realizing what he did, Hijikata chased after his partner.

As for Sougo, he woke up in the middle of a grassy field. To his right was an older version of Kagura who was playing with a pipe. "When the fuck did you learn to smoke, China?" he asked.

The lady gave a bemused expression. "Oho," she started, her voice lower than Kagura's. "Are you the guy who my daughter fell for?" she asked.

Red orbs widened. Was this~!

Another female of the same features came. "Mami, this is Sougo," the new comer stated as she sat next to the lying male and gave a smile. "Welcome to the world of dreams, Sadist."

Kagura's mother smirked before getting up. "I will leave you two alone for a while," she murmured before opening her umbrella and walking to the general direction of two dots coming their way. "It seems that your father and brother are a bit vexed."

Both watched as the female in white moved to meet up with a fuming baldy and a raging psycho. Kagura sighed before smiling. "Finally had a good night's rest," she mused before staring at the sky.

The male sat up and grinned. "So," he started, his sadistic side triggering. "You fell for me."

The beauty stared at him with shock, her face starting to turn pink. "Wh-what are you talking about?" she sputtered.

"I heard your mom," Sougo related.

Kagura, out of embarrassment, punched the male in the shoulder. "I-I do not!" she yelled.

"Sure thing, China. Whatever you say."

Without any warning, the beauty gave a Yato war cry before tackling the sandy-haired being. From instincts, the former police officer took hold of his katana and slashed his rival only to be block by an umbrella. "Of all the rotten luck," he chuckled, kicking the red-head off and tumbling to safety. It was a blur of what happened next. The only thing he remembered was that he was laughing his ass off as Kagura pinned him on the ground and was ready to punch the living daylights out of him.

"Time to wake up, sadist," the female chirped before smashing her fist on his face.

Sougo gasped back to reality. He gave himself a whiplash when he immediately sat up. "The hell, China," he chuckled, clutching his head. "You win this time."

"Daddy, daddy!" a high-pitched squeal from a brown-haired boy snapped the sadist back into the reality.

"What is it, Kouda?" Sougo asked his adopted son. Yes, he was forced to move on; adopting a child who resembled someone dear to him, bonding with people he turned his back on years ago, and even resurrecting the great Shinsengumi.

After his dream, the red head would randomly appear to him and taunt him back into the Prince Sadist that he was. As time passed, the figure seldom came and, after two more years, never appeared again. Sougo has forgotten about it, thinking that he was only giving himself delusions just to cope up.

The boy, having ocean-blue eyes grinned at the older male. "She gave me this," he stated as he presented a purple umbrella to his father. "She said that she's going far away and would never come back."

Garnet orbs stared at the object before grabbing hold of the child's shoulders. "Where is the person who gave it to you?" he all but screamed at his son.

With trembling hands, the child pointed at the general direction of the playground. Without any warning, Sougo carried the younger one to the said place.

T here, walking away from the bench where they have fought years ago, was the red-haired monster. She gave a smile and a wave. "Bye."


Author's Note: Well, I will be placing Alphabet of Sukonbu and Sadism E until Z here... So... Yeah :)

Another Note: Gawds, Finals will be tomorrow. Good luck and God Bless to every student out there reading my stories. May the God of Mercy have mercy with your grades XD