Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 1: Rᴜᴍᴏᴜʀ Hᴀs Iᴛ

"What is your problem? You've been ignoring me for a week now."

Kiku was facing Yao's back as the other man stood, watching the view from the office window. Yao and Kiku's relationship have been in a rough situation for the past few weeks. It all started in the world conference. Yao had been acting strange after the break. After the world conference, he had been avoiding Kiku's presence.

"Everything's fine, Kiku." Yao replied. His voice was deep and serious, making Kiku cringed.

"Fine? You call this fine? You've been ignoring me, Yao. I don't understand. I thought we both agreed that we won't have any other physical contact except kissing in this relationship. If you can't wait anymore-."

"It's not that!" Yao turned around, eyeing his lover. Kiku just noticed the dark lines under Yao's eyes and his face got paler. "I can wait for decades, Kiku." Yao calmed down.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just can't believe that you had been cheating all this time, Kiku." Yao turned his back again. He can't stand seeing his lover's face this moment.

"What? Are you crazy? I had been faithful to you, Yao."

"Hah! Faithful? Then explain why you and Arthur have been sucking each other's faces in the world conference? I have seen you two in one of the rooms, Kiku."

Kiku widened his eyes. He saw that? "Tell me. How long, Kiku? How long have you been keeping this secret?"

"Longer than our relationship, Yao."

"So you've been keeping your relationship with Arthur since the beginning? I can't believe it! I've been making a fool out of myself for a year now and you haven't told me?"

Kiku just stayed silent and bowed his head. He heard a shuffling sound and he lifted his head to see Yao standing in front of him. "So the rumours are true. I can forgive you, Kiku. It's not too late to begin a fresh start. Just tell me. Just explain why. Why did you do this to me?" Yao cupped Kiku's face and leaned down for a small kiss. As they parted, Kiku bowed his head down. "I can't."

To Yao, that statement is like a go signal for him. It's like heaven gave the sign. Yao cupped Kiku's face again and stared at him for awhile. Yao memorized every part of him because he know, after this, he can't call Kiku his anymore. His shiny hair, the way the bangs cover his beautiful eyes that can captivate and stare right at the person's soul. The way he moves like a swan, dancing gracefully at the pond.

Yao inhaled one more time. "It's time to finally let you go now, huh?" As much as it hurt Yao to say this, he doesn't have any other choices left. He can't love a person who doesn't love him back. Yao leaned for a kiss one more time and left the room.

Kiku just stood there, paralyzed. Did Yao just say that? Had he heard him right? He felt something wet and touched his face. He's crying. Did Yao finally let him go? For once, he cried his heart out alone.

Yao stuffed all his clothes inside his bag, wiping all the strayed tears and the ones that threatened to escape his eyes. Once he's done, he left Kiku's house, glancing to it one last time and turning around. And like the heaven also mourned, it rained. Soaked to the bone, Yao kept walking away from the past and into the future that his soul is about to step in.

"I don't hate you, but I lost all the reasons to love you."