Writers Note: I know, you're probably surprised by this update as much as I am. Truly, I did not die or fall off the edge of the world - I've simply been struggling with my writing muse to the point I haven't role-played for nearly a year and a half. Please don't hate me, but alas read on - sorry it's small, trying to get back into writing.
* Please note: I have yet to see Civil War, but this is a minor spoiler to the storyline.
i. Unstable.
It was his own fault, yet the cavernous hole within his chest had multiplied several times since the separation. He just didn't have the strength to put his helmet upon the mantle at this moment, the world needed him - Hell, the Avengers needed him, and because of that, Pepper was no longer in his life.
That was a lie.
Pepper was still in his life, still working for Stark Industries as the Executive Officer - dealing with the business for Stark himself. But their relationship had strained, in the months after having the shrapnel removed from around his heart and after saving Pepper from Killian's hands - to the point, it was simply a choice between Pepper and Iron Man. It was never the decision he wanted, never one he had even acknowledged or fathomed there would a possibility, yet in the circumstance he had made a reflex decision that it would always be Iron Man.
Pepper ultimately decided a separation between them, a distance where the heart could grow fonder and perhaps their priorities would change. The redhead had always believed in him, trusted him and grown to love the man he had become in the decade she had worked for him. Yet she could not understand why he felt so compelled to be the Iron Man, he'd gone through his fair share of injuries and near death experiences - wasn't that enough?
But for Tony, it was a completely different subject. No matter how many calculations or algorithms he spent trying to work out a formula to share his life between the woman he cared most about or his dedication to the Avengers. He was a completely different man when he was within the iron suit, he wasn't so much the egotistical man that everyone knew Stark to be - no, he was a saviour, one worthy to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He had watched friends and partners get injured or die in battle, hell he'd gone that far when Loki released the chitauri on New York - he was willing to end his life and that's when it all sunk in.
He didn't want saving, people had better things to do than save him.
But Pepper had, from the moment he saw her red eyes for her long lost boss after his mere escape from the Ten Rings, after being kidnapped for six months and when he created the blueprints for the Iron Man suit - she had been it. Not one to believe in love in first sight, but it was damn close - they were meant to be yet Tony had announced himself a national target and what choice did he have but to let her go freely to keep her safe?
All Tony could do now was wallow in his misery until he found something that would mean he'd get the love of his life back.
