The Visitor
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story has no continuity with the others in my saga. It stands on its own.
This was an attempt to write comedy for Avatar: The Last Airbender
Day One
The first thing Masanori Sun noticed was that someone was working the door chime. Azula had set up a mechanism by which a series of bells would let the residents of the large beach house know if someone was at the door, no matter which room there were occupying. He looked around the empty room in which he stood. "I'll answer it," he said very jauntily. As he neared the front door, he noticed a second thing: the person at the door was very insistent.
When he opened up the door, he had to look down. "Hi, Toph! Good to-"
She brushed past him. "Yeah, hello to you, too."
"Toph, where are you going?"
"I stayed here with Sparky and the others before the comet, so I know my way around."
"But we've remodeled since then!"
"I'll manage," she said, searching the parlor. "Here it is." She slouched down in a comfortable chair. "I always liked this one."
"Um, Toph...you know I'm always glad to see you-"
"But what am I doing here?"
"Right." He paused. "Tell you what: I'm going to go get Azula. Then you'lll only have to tell your story once."
Toph waved him off. "Whatever."
Masanori went upstairs to where Fire Princess Azula was finishing up a late breakfast. He walked into the bedroom with a big smile. "Hi, babe."
"Hello, Masa. Why is Toph Beifong downstairs?"
Masa gulped. "You knew?"
"Neither one of you was quiet."
Cat, look. She's upset over something. Let's find out what it is."
"Why not? I'm bored anyway."
"Sure thing, Mai."
Azula gave him a "you-die" look, then got dressed. They headed downstairs, where Toph was absently fingering Masa's pipa.
"I'll just take this, okay Toph?" Masanori took the pipa away.
"Well," Azula said, "I'd say it's nice to see you..."
"But I can't say the same." The earthbender waved her hands in front of her faded green eyes. Yeah, practice your banter a little more, Hot Pants."
"Don't call me Hot Pants. Why are you here?"
Toph groaned. "Things got really bad at home."
"How bad?" Masanori asked.
"I went back to patch things up. And it worked out for a while. But once my parents had me back, they didn't want to let go. They wanted to set time limits on how long I could be outside the house. When I said no, my dad said he'd have me chi-blocked and take my bending away! I invented metalbending! So, I ran away. Again. I didn't have a choice."
"No, you didn't." The idea of losing one's bending shook Azula. "But why come here?"
"Sparky said it was the best choice."
"He did, did he? Just like Zuzu to pull a trick like that."
"No, it's just like you to pull a trick like that. Look, I can tell you're less than thrilled. You guys weren't my choice either. I already tried other options."
"Oh?" Masanori was curious.
"I couldn't get in contact with Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen. I tried staying on Kiyoshi Island, but...they didn't have enough space for me. Snoozles and Suki said to go to the FIre Nation. Bubbles says hi, by the way."
"I'll send a hawk, thank you." Azula was huffy. "I'm surprised you didn't try my uncle, since you like him so much."
"Ah, I tried him first. He said he would do it, but being married and all, he didn't have the 'proper accomodations.' We both knew my father would make trouble for him. I guess that was more important than friendship."
"Don't say that, Toph," Masanori said. "It probably killed him inside to say no."
"Yeah, you're probably right. But that didn't help me. So, I caught a ride on one of my father's transport ships to the Fire Nation. They hadn't heard of my 'escape' yet. Soon as I got ashore, I looked up Sparky. He and Tall, Dark and Pointy are as charming as ever."
"And he sent you here?" Azula asked.
"Yeah. He said he wanted to help, but as Fire Lord, he had to be all political and couldn't risk offending an important man like my father. He gave me a line about discussion and how it would take time. Boy, I thought he was a stick in the mud before he was all important."
"What did he say?"
"Don't get so huffy, Shocker. He said that I should stay with you guys until he got it straightened out."
"If he gets it straightened out."
"Right. He said no one would think to look for me here. Even if they did, they'd be too scared to mess with you. Plus, as a member of the royal court, I'd be officially under your protection."
"And just what made you or him think I'd agree?"
"Cat, please."
"It's okay, Sweet-talker," Toph said. "I just figured if anyone would understand my problem, you would. Given what your parents are like."
"That's playing dirty, you little grubworm."
"I'm an earthbender! Dirty is the only way I know how to play!"
Masanori laughed out loud. Azula gave him a fierce look. He responded with polarbear-puppy eyes.
"Besides, Shocker: you owe me some consideration."
"How?" Azula was hard as a rock.
"Because I've defended you to other people, despite what we've been through. What do you say?"
A moment passed. "You can stay in my old room, assuming you don't want to sleep outside in the dirt."
"I've done that," Toph responded, ignoring the bait. "But thanks. Um...you'd better tell me what things are like around here, Zappy."
"Don't call me Zappy!"
"You'll get used to it."
Azula glared at Masanori. He was redfaced from holding in his laughter. "I'm-I'm sorry, Fire Cat."
Toph wrinkled her nose. "'Fire Cat?' 'Zappy' embarrasses you, but 'Fire Cat' is okay?"
"As. I. Was. Saying." Azula's teeth were clenched. "We rise with the sun. If you want to sleep in, we won't bother you. You can eat meals with us if you like. If not, you're on your own."
"I've got some money, so don't worry about that."
Masanori spoke up. "You can join our practice, Toph. We like a good spar."
"Thanks, Lollipop."
"Lollipop?!"
"Sure, sweet with a big head." Now Azula was fighting a laugh. "What about baths? That kind of thing."
"You mean you actually take them?"
"Don't get me wrong, Zappy: I feel almost naked without a good coat of earth. But even I get overloaded sometimes. I know where the sauna and bath are. Is there a schedule or something?"
"The rule is: you want something, you ask me first."
"Yes, Mama. Look, I'm not out to freeload around here. I pulled my weight with the Gaang, and I can do it here."
"A good start would be not getting muddy footprints all over the house."
"No problem. Being an earthbender means cleaning is easy."
"My house, my rules."
"Yes, Mama." Azula snorted derisively. Toph continued. "This really does mean a lot to me."
"You say you want to earn your keep?"
"Actually, I want to get back outside. My feet don't see well on wood."
"We don't want your feet to get nearsighted," Azula said sarcastically. "Masa and I have some gardening to do. An earthbender of your talent should be a great help."
Toph's face clouded. "I think you just zinged me."
"Would I do a thing like that?"
Masanori was chuckling. "Hey, Toph. I get this every day. Come on."
Toph followed the young couple out to the backyard. "It's a lot different than when I was here."
"I had the back area cleared for a garden," Azula said plainly.
Since Ember Island had a lot of volcanic ash, Azula's garden grew well. And Toph's talent made picking the vegetables a snap.
"Toph, could you help me with the orchard?"
'Orchard?' You got one apple tree, Sweet-talker."
"No, no. We've planted since you were here last. Think you can lift me up?"
Lunch was served around mid-day. Toph was a strong eater, but still used utensils.
"Not too spicy, is it, Badgermole?"
"I can handle it. When I was little, I had a nanny who was Fire Nation. She liked this kind of food."
"What was she like?" Masanori asked.
"She was gentle, but sad."
"Probably an exile," Azula said. "What happened to her?"
"I don't know. She just left one day." Toph let out a belch like an explosion.
"Oh, really!"
"Hey, just relax, Zappy. I can act ladylike just fine. But the whole reason I ran away from home was so I could be myself. I should think you would appreciate the idea of not having to be perfect for your parents."
Masanori winced. Azula silently fumed. "Just don't put your feet on the table," the princess said at last.
"Yes, Mama. This is just a guess, but you guys don't have many guests, do you?"
"We like our privacy."
"Fair enough. I'll respect yours if you respect mine. Now," Toph said standing, "I have to take a whizz." As she left the room, Azula and Masanori rolled their eyes.
"She means well, Cat," Masanori said when he and his girlfriend were alone. "And she is our friend."
"If this keeps up, I might pay her parents a visit myself."
Masanori placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Let's just do our best, okay?"
As Toph stepped back into the room, Azula said, "please don't tell us about it."
"What kind of girl do you think I am? Anyone up for a spar after lunch?" There was no need to ask twice.
Sparring came after two hours practice, which quickly bored Toph. She wasn't shy about expressing her feelings, either. Masanori tried to break the tension. "Toph, I just thought of something. After we finish, there's a project we need help with."
"Sure, whatever. You two do this every day?"
"Most days," Azula replied plainly. "Are you ready, Badgermole?"
"Ready, Zappy."
Azula didn't take the bait. She launched into a series of fire punches. Toph stomped down and dispersed the flames with barricades, then sent the barricades at the princess. Azula deftly avoided them. Toph didn't wait. She used a quantity-over-quality approach and sent a flurry of small stones flying. Azula used a fire shield against them. "Clever, Badgermole."
"Toph, can I try you out?"
"Come on over, Sweet-talker."
Masanori leaped into action. His style was unorthodox, utilizing rapid kicks, all at different angles. Toph was not put off by the change in style; she just dropped the ground out from under him. He wasn't expecting that, but he recovered quickly, springing into the air and launching a flaming double-kick. Toph put up a barricade, but he bounced off that and into a flip, landing on his feet.
"Wow," Masanori said, "you do fight dirty."
"Learn from it, Masa."
"Don't you start on me, Cat."
"Try not yelling every time you attack," Toph said.
The rest of the practice was vigorous, but sporting. After it ended, Azula and Masanori changed into "traveling" clothes. "That reminds me, Badgermole: if you're going to stay with us, what are you doing for clothes?"
"I didn't have time to pack." Toph shrugged. "I'm sure there are good shops somewhere."
"Nonsense," Azula said haughtily. "I'll send for a tailor, if you're willing to pay."
"I told you I was."
"Glad we got that settled," Masanori said quickly. "Come on."
After a half-hour's walk, they came to the site where Masanori's task was.
"Felt like we went uphill," Toph said.
"We did. We were hoping you could help us clear a blocked stream."
Toph's nose wrinkled. "What's so special about it?"
"If we could clear it, the western village would have all the water they need. But a rockslide cut it down to a trickle. An earthbender could clear it easily."
"Give me a second."
Masanori's assessment had been accurate. Toph cleared the stream easily. "Great going, Bandit."
"It was nothing. Really, nothing. Maybe I can do something else for you guys."
"Such as?" Azula asked.
"Teach you how to have fun. Like this!" Toph earthbent chutes of earth for the three of them and they slid back down the hill they had climbed at great speed. When they reached the bottom, Masanori was giddy.
"Hey, that was great!"
"Great?!" Azula was upset. "I'm filthy!"
"Oh, don't be such a girl. You've been through worse. Besides, you have to embrace your silly side. I know you have one: he's right here."
Masanori chuckled, but Azula was fuming. "Don't lecture me!"
"Hold on, Zappy. Look, if it will help, I'll buy tonight's dinner. If you know a good place."
Masanori held Azula's hand. "Cat, give it a chance."
Dinner at the Golden Dragon was uneventful, mostly because Azula would not speak. Toph was well-behaved, for her part.
On the way back to the beach house, Toph broke the silence. "Bo. Ring. What do you guys usually do after dinner?"
"Relax, mostly."
"I guess that's easy for you. Hot Pants, on the other hand..."
Masanori had enough. "Toph, just go easy, okay? I know this is rough on all of us. And I know we're friends. But Azula and I take things easy. You said you wanted a place to be yourself. Well, that's what we're doing too."
Toph blinked, for all the good it did. "Zappy, you hold on to this one. He's pretty good."
"That's why I...love him," Azula said tentatively. Masanori swept her up into a hug. "Masa, stop embarrassing me."
"Toph, we're going to bed. If you don't want to, that's fine. But-"
"Keep quiet. Yeah, I get it. I think I'll turn in, too."
"Turn into what?"
Toph made a face. "Oh, that's funny," she said sarcastically. "You can laugh, Zappy. I can tell you want to."
"Good night, Badgermole."
"You mean you won't tuck me in and read me a story?"
"Toph..." Masanori was annoyed but amused.
"It's a joke. I do that. I'll find my way."
During the night, Toph overheard vigorous activity coming from the main bedroom. She snorted. "And they thought I'd make too much noise." She put the pillow over her head and blocked it out. Late in the night, she was awakened by more noise: Azula screaming, followed by her rapid breathing and Masanori attempting to calm her down. Toph had heard of Azula's nightmares, but to actually hear it was jarring.
TO BE CONTINUED
