A girl stood in the cold air, waiting and looking out at the water. She sighed. So many things in this world have changed, but River Thames has remained the same, she thought wistfully. If only Charlotte, Henry, the Lightwoods, Sophie, Cecily and Will were still here. After all, great changes are better dealt with people you love… Aren't they?
People trickled by, throwing occasional glances, but otherwise paying no attention to a young girl standing by the balustrade, staring into the river. Some elderly couples shook their heads disapprovingly as they passed, whispering to each other about how young people liked to dawdle about and waste their precious time. Little did they know that she was older than them all by many years, and she had plenty of time in her life.
This would be the 129th year of our annual meeting, Tessa thought. She had kept track. They began in 1878. The year was 2007 now. Time had flown past and she had changed with the society. Over time, she ditched the corsets and heavy dresses for jeans, t-shirts and coats that everyone else wore. Styles transformed drastically in hair and shoes as well. Overall, Tessa was alright with it, but if there was one decade she dreaded, it would be the 1980's. She shuddered at the crazy hair styles people sported. Everybody's terrified of the 80's, she thought, suppressing another shiver of disgust.
Another improvement from the 19th century would be the technology. It had advanced so much since Henry took that picture of them all with the early camera like a frenzied daguerreotypist. She smiled fondly as she thought of how excited he would be if he ever saw the digital cameras of today.
Then, there were the changes in music. Jem would be so shocked of what became of violin music. The beautiful romantic melodies he used to love have begun to fade out into more modern tunes. Tessa was suddenly reminded of those nights when she had trouble sleeping in the London Institute. During her insomniac states, she would listen to the lovely music flowing out from his room across the hall. If only she could hear the brilliance of Jem's music again…
Hello Tessa, a voice said in her head.
She turned. A figure cloaked in parchment robes stood in before her. Jem, she thought, knowing he would hear. People were still passing by so she could not speak out loud.
How are you? Tessa could almost hear the caring tone to his voice, as if the Jem she missed all these years was trapped beneath the expressionless mask of Brother Zachariah.
Fine, she replied. Though… I could be better.
I understand, he said, and Tessa knew this was the old Jem speaking. Any other Silent Brother would not express their personal feelings like this. You have been through so much all these years, but you can make it through. You are the strongest person I know.
"But Jem," she said desperately out loud, not caring if anyone stared. "I miss you."
I know, was all he said as he turned his face away guiltily.
She searched his face beneath the parchment hood. A subtle look of pain was set on his face; she could tell the expression even without seeing his eyes. "You're thinking about Will," she realized.
Aren't you?
Of course. His death has taken a great toll on both of us, Tessa thought sadly.
Jem was quiet for a moment. He seemed to have something else to say. Wind blew his hood back a little and Tessa caught a glimpse of his scarred cheekbones and dark hair. This was the first time she saw him with dark hair. There was no evidence of him ever being an addict. Then she saw the streak of silver, standing out starkly against the rest of his hair. No, Tessa thought hopelessly to herself. He still hasn't recovered.
Tessa, Jem's clear voice sounded like a bell in her head. Brother Zachariah's monotone was almost completely gone. I want to share something with you that the Silent Brothers told me recently.
Yes? She willed herself to not be too excited. It could be bad news, she reprimanded herself.
Magnus has made progress searching for the cure, he said.
Tessa bit back a sigh of relief. These words were like water in a desert, releasing a new stream of hope that she had spent years holding back. And…?
Well, he began, and Tessa could sense something wrong. He doesn't have the formula quite right. To give it to me now could mean death.
Then, how much longer will it take? She dared to ask, fearing the worst.
I don't know. Weeks? Months? Perhaps even years, he said. I am sorry, Tessa. I wish it could have been sooner.
Her heart sank back into despair. She had already lost Will, one of the greatest loves of her life. She could not describe how much she missed him all these years. He had given her everything she ever wanted: tenderness, warmth, love, and children. It had been terribly difficult to lose him. She lived in grief all these years, and never allowed hope to rise for Jem. There was no hope. Until now.
Tessa, Jem's voice broke into her thoughts. Allow yourself to hope, for there is still time for both of us. Do not fall into desolation for me. I am not worth your sorrow.
This was his personality as it always had been: selfless, candor, and… absolutely stubborn. "But you are!" Tessa exclaimed desperately, causing some passers-by to look over curiously.
The Silent Brother stood only stood there, unresponsive.
"You are worth it," she whispered again. Feeling brave, she reached to pull back his hood. He let her. "You have been nothing but kind to me since I met you over a hundred years ago, and there is no other person I would rather love now that Will is gone. I love you, James Carstairs, as much as I loved Will. Why can't you accept that?"
Silent Brothers cannot love, he said simply.
"I want to hear Jem respond, not Brother Zachariah."
But he said nothing. The curve of his lips remained closed as it had for over a hundred years. Even his voice didn't touch her mind. Tessa found herself missing him more and more with every passing second. She had reserved exactly one half of her heart for him all these years, hoping that one day he would be well enough to accept it. That day, she thought miserably, is not likely to come.
Jem had heard her thoughts. Have a little faith, he said earnestly in reply.
She dared to hope. They stood unmoving for a long while, relishing each other's company. After all, these moments on Blackfriar's Bridge only came once a year. The sky had begun to darken. Time had passed quickly for the couple. Too quickly.
When Jem reached to lift his hood, she knew his hour was almost up. "Will I see you again?" she asked, her voice a bit strained. "As James Carstairs, not as Brother Zachariah?"
I don't know, Tessa, he said. I don't know.
She tried to hide her disappointment. "I'll see you next year, Jem," she said, blinking back tears.
He did not reply. Confused, she looked up and saw that the bridge was empty. Jem had gone.
This is the first year he skipped saying goodbye, thought Tessa with a twinge of heartbreak. After gathering herself together, she left.
Later, the light of the moon shone through Tessa's window, silvery as Jem's hair once was. She sighed heavily, and let go of her hope. If it is the Angel's will, fate would bring them together again soon. They already had their annual meetings. For now, that was enough.
(A/N: How did I do? Reviews are welcome! –MistyOwl9240 3)
