Hi to everyone! This is the first fanfiction I write in English so if there are some mistakes please let me know and tell me what you think :)

1. A Wish

Earth, morning, in a remote forest in the middle of nowhere…

At this point, I didn't know if I had to be really, reeeally tired (as always) or if I had just to accept the fact that my life was definitively going to be a giant piece of shit. What the hell I was doing? Why I continued to get involved in these things in the hope that something will change? In other words: WHY I was in this fucking place, in this fucking car with these fucking people that I didn't want even to see or talk to? I lost count of all the times I've said to Angela: "Please Angela, I don't need to do a picnic in the middle of nowhere just because you think that in this way I'll have to talk to other people and try to exit from my state of depression". Was it helpful? Obviously not. Soooo…here we were: I, Angela, Michael, Kate and Jeff; and we were all ready to spend the most beautiful three days of camping of our lives! Yeeeeaaaah….maybe I could commit suicide. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the scenery around me that always seemed to be the same, focusing my attention only on the music that came out of my headphones: Linkin Park, "bleed it out". I was about to fall asleep (for the second time) when a hand on my shoulder shook me slowly. It was Angela who was trying to tell me something

"…"

"Can you repeat?" I turned off my iPod

"I said we are arrived Elise, take your bag and be ready to get off" she gently smiled at me, but she knew too well my feelings about this. She was the best friend I had and worried too much for me; I knew she was doing all this for me but sometimes her obstinacy was unbearable. Jeff stopped the car in a forest clearing and opened the car door

"Time to set up the tents, guys!" he got out and began immediately to take the tents from the baggage car

"The honor is all yours, boy scout" Kate followed him with Michael, taking the map with her

"And you?" Angela looked me

"Remember me why I accepted all this" I sighed, unable not to appear annoyed

"Because I asked you, a lot of times"

"Well, we can also say that you forced me" I answered with a half smile. Angela rolled her eyes and looked Jeff, then turned again her gaze on me

"Listen, now I go to help him, if you want to rest another bit you can do it, but you cannot stay in this car all day, ok?"

"…Ok…let me just see how you're doing"

"You will be surprised!" she gave me the best of her smiles and went to help Jeff. Angela was always so enthusiastic. I turned on the music and watched the other guys get busy. Maybe even for me it was time to do something more constructive…so I took my book for nursing students and started to study. I didn't know how much time passed, but while I was still studying the music of my iPod suddenly shouted down

"Uh?" I looked up from my book: Jeff had opened the car door and was looking at me with disappointment. I knew him too well to know that he was going to make me one of his classics reproaches; he was always been the classic good guy who gave advice and helped others, especially me…

"What the hell are you doing?" his tone slightly upset

"I have an exam, Jeff, the last exam" a very pathetic excuse, but it was the only one that came to my mind; I already foresaw his reaction

"Yes, sure…" he took the book from my hands and didn't seem willing to return it

"Jeff…" I started "I know that you and the others are doing all this for me, and believe me, I appreciate it but…"

"No, you have to listen to me" he came closer "we are all worried about you Elise. In these weeks you have been so sad and sick…I know that sometimes people just need to stay alone with their problems, but please try to talk with us. Look around you: nothing in this place can hurt you, nothing and nobody, we are your friends and we want just your happiness. I brought you here so you can stay away from everything, but this…" he pointed the book "…I know it's important for you, but for now it's…no good. And your father…" he stopped, making a guilty expression

"I know Jeff, don't worry. It's just…ok, you're right, take that book and hide it somewhere. I… I will try to stay better" anyway I knew that he wouldn't give me back the book, it would be useless to try to protest. Jeff smiled softly and put an hand on my shoulder, whispering gently

"Remember" his brown eyes met mine "just smile, you're beautiful when you smile"

"Hey, boy scout! We need a help here!" Kate was having serious problems to set up her tent

"oooook! Leave it to the Boy Scout!" he moved away. I remained to look at him thoughtfully until I saw Angela who approached with an amused expression

"He loves you" she got into the car and sat near me, adjusting her black hair behind the head. We were so different: she had a perfect black skin without any trace of imperfection, her face had delicate features and her body was very attractive; on the contrary my skin color was so white that seemed to have never seen the sun and my face was the most common in the world, like my long hair and brown eyes. Fortunately my body was quite athletic; I tried to go to the gym three times a week. I always thought she was even more beautiful than Kate, the classic skinny and blonde girl

"I know, I'm sorry"

"Oh please Elise, we have already discussed" she sighed

"You are the right girl for him, not me, and he's really stupid to not understand it"

"Thanks" she smiled. We remained silent for a few seconds, and then Angela started to ask me

"So, do you want to talk…about your situation?"

"Even if I talk…nothing will change"

"Yes but…it can help you" she looked me with a sad face

"I don't know. Thanks for all, but it's not simple…sometime is…embarrassing"

"Elise I'm here for you, please don't make me so worry"

"And when you aren't worried? Or anxious or…" I smiled amused

"ok, ok I understood" Angela looked out of the car "nobody on the left, nobody on the right…let's close the car doors…and now you can speak to me freely, pleeeeeeeeease" she made me sweet eyes

"…I can't resist when you make me that expression" I smiled "but you already know that the situation isn't good"

"I know" she was ready to listen to me. I took a deep breath

"Well…you already know that my parents divorced three years ago and they started to consider me the "wrong daughter" and that my life has never been easy, but in these days the situation worsened: my father wants to go away with his new partner in another country and this is a big problem for me; without him I can't complete my training in the hospital or even to hope to get a job in his department"

"Your father is a respected surgeon; he will find someone that can help you to ending your training or find a job" I shook my head in resignation

"He doesn't care about me, especially now he has the opportunity to change his life and forget about his "mistakes", like me"

"How do you know that?"

"Because he told me this"

"Oh…I'm so sorry Elise" she gently caressed my shoulder "and…your mother?"

"My mother went crazy. Her partner left her two weeks ago and now she is out of control. Sometimes she goes out in the afternoon and returns in the morning of the next day. I don't know what she does and I don't care, I just want she continues to give me the money to end my studies" I looked Angela in her eyes "sometimes…it hurts, it really hurts"

"I'm so sorry Elise…" she bit her lip, her eyes already full of water

"No, no, no, don't start crying. Believe me Angela, I can survive to this. The real problem is: I can't do anything! I can't just leave, I don't have enough money nor know where to go and for now there isn't a solution! This makes me crazy!"

Angela hugged me, starting to cry

"No, no, please don't…" this was the reason why I didn't want to be here. I didn't want someone felt sorry for me or to take charge of such a big problem. And yet, no matter how much I tried to be strong, the pain that I felt inside needed to be released. I hugged Angela and let the tears fall

"I'm here Elise; I know I can't do anything but…" she sobbed

"It's all right, thank you my friend" it wasn't easy, but Angela was trying to do something to make me feel better and I couldn't make her suffer because of me. I dried my tears, and in that moment someone knocked on the glass of the car door

"Hey, are you ok?" Michael watched us worried. To be honest, I thought he wouldn't come with us, turning away from me for my behavior and preferring to play football or be alone with Kate, but I was wrong. He was a good guy…and my friend. Angela stopped crying and I opened the car

"Yes, don't worry"

"...I'm going around the area to get some firewood, maybe take a walk will make you feel better"

"Yeah, maybe" I smiled, feeling the need to relax my mind and don't think about bad things

"Good! But we have to be careful, I looked at the map and it seems there is a ravine in that direction" he pointed north

"Jeff always chooses the best places to camp!" Angela started laughing

"I hear someone laughing at me! And in any case I chose this place because near the ravine there is a huge cave that we can explore and also a street that brings us near the coast"

"Wait a sec, what do you mean to explore?" Kate didn't seem so happy

"Don't worry, I did my research on internet and it's not dangerous; maybe we can find something interesting: minerals, fascinating creatures like bats or…"

"What?! Ok guys you can go with him, I will go to sunbathe on the coast"

"Oh no no Miss, you will come with us" Jeff grinned amused

"This is unbelievable! Elise, please, save me!-

"I think you have no choice" I smiled, ready for my little vacation.

In the middle of the Night.

It didn't matter how far I was from home, the nightmares returned continuously. I could only keep watching the stars and asking myself what I could do to change my life, to do something to survive, to be finally free. I just wanted to study and find a work like all normal people do…No. It wasn't true. I hated this world, I hated the rules of this fucking world...but I couldn't change it. I could only try to survive…

"Elise?" that sudden voice made me jump; I turned toward the tents

"Angela! You scared me!"

"I turned around and I didn't find you. Is there any problem?" Angela yawned

"Nothing, it's just…the sky is so beautiful…" I lied

"Yeah, it is true" she smiled "did you have fun to explore the magic cave?"

"Sure, Kate was terrified! It has been something funny to see"

Angela smiled and yawned again

"Don't stay out for long, it's cold"

"Ok, good night"

"Good Night" Angela returned to sleep and I returned to look the stars. Oh, a shooting star. A smile appeared on my face; maybe the sky wanted to hear my prayers. Well, I tried anything and this is obviously ridiculous but…why not?

- Pleasecan someone help me? Anyone, anyone… whoever you are, please save me…-

It was stupid, but I really believed in those words. And now…time to sleep. Time for nightmares.