Devouring Edward

Edward had been missing Bella terribly, for he hadn't seen her since he went out hunting delicious mountain lions. Almost silently, he parked the sleek silver Volvo in her driveway and was instantly at the front window. He smiled to himself. Finally, he would know what Bella did, whilst not with him.

Edward edged closer to the windowsill, careful not to make any noise, and peered past the curtains into the kitchen. He was quite shocked at what he saw.

Bella was standing by the pantry, holding a can of whipped cream, spraying it directly into her wide open mouth.

Edward's jaw dropped. How did Bella stay so slim?

Perhaps she used one of those tummy-jiggling devices that young people liked to use these days. Edward shuddered at the thought of those infomercials involving many close-ups of obese stomachs wobbling furiously.

Suddenly, Bella began to mutter to herself and Edward was pulled out of his reverie.

"It's like an orgasm in my mouth …" she murmured through a mouth full of cream.

Edward couldn't help himself – he gasped loudly. Bella spun around, but Edward ducked out of her sight.

"Who's there?" she mumbled through the cream.

Holding back a grin, Edward snuck away from the window and back to his car. He jumped into the driver's seat and collapsed over the steering wheel in laughter.

It was then that an idea struck Edward right on his nose.

Bella like whipped cream. It turned her on.

She also liked Edward. He turned her on.

Edward put two and two together and felt a smile creep over his face.