Disclaimer: I don't own Negima.
So Terribly Unfair, But…
"Sometimes," she said, "it feels like you can read my mind or something, Setsuna." And she smiled.
Setsuna felt happy, strangely so—a weird blush crept up and bloomed on her cheeks. Then she winced, and tried to contain her emotions. Bloomed, indeed! She was even thinking about herself like, like she was a flower or something—something so delicate, no, she wouldn't have any of that.
But didn't the Lady Konoka like flowers? Setsuna watched as Konoka bent down and sniffed a white flower. She wondered just how it'd feel to have the oujo-sama be so close to her own face—then, she stiffened, stood straight as Konoka laughed and came closer, her hair brushing against Setsuna's face.
"You need to smile more," said Konoka.
"Yes, lady," Setsuna chokes out. "Of course." And she attempted a grin that fell off halfway through and ended up a more like a frown. It was so hard being around the oujo-sama. So many strange feelings—feelings she shouldn't feel. Some of them were wrong and some of them were inappropriate, and all of them were things a girl of her station did not deserve.
To love a princess, indeed. That thought sobered her. Setsuna watched as the Lady Konoka wandered through the garden, checking on her flowers. Now that's a flower, Setsuna thought: soft skin, long black-silk hair, and—
No! Setsuna bit her lower lip as the oujo-sama continued her strange path through the garden. She was a warrior, not a… whatever it was that loved, and was loved back, by princesses. A prince. A prince was a man, yes? Or a poet. She was no poet. She had nothing but her name and her blade, and—it's horribly unfair, she thought.
But that's life. Setsuna blinked; her eyes were leaking. Tears. Unforgivable.
"Setsuna?"
"Yes, oujo-sama?"
"You look so…" And here Konoka giggled. Then she said, "like, do you need to go to the restroom or something?"
"Oh, oh—no! I mean, I'm sorry, Lady Konoka, I don't need to go and why would you—"
"It's just that you had this terrible frown on your face," said Konoka. "I'm sorry about making this a total bore for you—I know you don't like flowers and, well, I'm sorry." A gentle smile. Setsuna felt her heart flutter. "We'll get back in now, you don't need to waste your time—"
"It's totally not a waste!" Setsuna blurted out. That was close, she thought. She had come close to saying what she actually felt—that to be with the Lady Konoka was the exact opposite of waste. She loved being near the oujo-sama, like a moth drawn to lamplight. She gloried in the lady's presence.
Oh, gods, Setsuna thought. I need to stop thinking like this. She followed the oujo-sama as they walked back into the mansion, watched Konoka as she moved, and Setsuna wondered, once again, if there ever would be a chance.
Never, she thought, and she shivered. It was so terribly unfair.
But that's life for you, thought Setsuna.
