[These are really sick and sadistic

[These are really sick and sadistic. A classmate of mine made these up – so he claims – and he was singing them under his breath while we had an assembly. It was the last day before Christmas, so who could blame him? I think both of them are to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus, but I'm guessing because I'm no good at remembering titles]

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,

Straight from East LA

With a shotgun and a razor,

Blowing kids away.

You better not move,

You better not cry,

I'm telling you now, you're going to die.

Santa Claus is hunting you down.

Disclaimer: I didn't make these up, although I wish I did. These sadistic jingles belong to Andrew Vargas.