Of Pranks and Marriage Part 1

Post-game setting: Mage Trevelyan, Dorian x Iron Bull, Vivienne is the new Divine (since it just kind of happened to me)

You can view this as a post-game continuation of my other Dragon Age story (A Mask Can Only Get You So Far), I might refer to events from that series.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age


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The Inquisitor gave Cullen a wary look. "You know I love you, right?" she said with a hint of worry in her tone.

Cullen took her hand and let his fingers entwine hers. He twitched his mouth into the reassuring half-smirk she had come to depend upon whenever she felt insecure. "Yes, that's pretty much all you have said to me since we arrived in the Free Marches." He leaned in and kissed her forehead, "not that I'm complaining."

She squeezed his hand, "I just want you to remember that before we enter the dragon's den."

"I'm sure your parents aren't that bad."

"You've never met my mother…" Evelyn shook her head, "this I such a bad idea!" She tugged Cullen's arm, "they haven't seen us yet, let's go home now… We can stop by your sister on the way back; she's so nice!"

"I know she's nice, but we have already met her. Now it's time to meet your family."

She gave him a pleading look, almost like a mabari begging for a treat.

The commander rolled his eyes. "You're strong; you defeated Corypheus and lived to tell the tale. I'm sure you'll be able to handle your parents."

"It's not me that I'm worried about," she said sullenly.

Cullen wrapped his arms around her. "You don't have to worry about me. I have dealt with nobles all my life. I know how to behave properly."

Evelyn leaned her head on his chest, soaking in his warmth. "You've never met the likes of Lady Trevelyan."

"Whatever she puts me… or you through, we'll survive… and I'll still love you when we leave this place… Let's ring the bell, she might surprise you."

Surprised she was…

Before she knew it, Evelyn stood in her mother's tight embrace, grasping for air.

"You've come home! My sweet girl is finally home!" Lady Trevelyan cried. Eager to study her daughter, she freed Evelyn and let her eyes wander from top of head to the tip of her toe. ¨

She gave the Inquisitor a proud smile, "you've grown so much, and just look how beautiful you've become!" Lady Trevelyan embraced her daughter a second time, "it's been to long! My dear girl, how your father and I have missed you!"

Cullen stood in silence, rubbing his arm nervously, not wanting to ruin the loud family reunion.

Lady Trevelyan didn't detect the man next to her until Evelyn wrestled her way out of her arms.

"And who is your friend?"

He gave her a polite bow, "Ser Cullen Rutherford, madam."

"Oh, what a charming young man! This must be one of your noble Orlesian friends I've heard so much about! You must think I'm a terrible hostess for not noticing you."

Evelyn sighed, she knew Cullen's title would pale to her guess. "No mother, this is Commander Cullen. He's the general of the Inquisition forces."

"Oh, he's a general, for the Inquisition" she said with a slight derogatory tone. "Well it was nice of you to see Miss Evelyn home safely… will you stay in the Free Marches for long? I know a quaint little inn not far from here."

"Mom!" The audacity of her mother shocked her. She knew Cullen wasn't exactly of noble origins, but his position and title in her army should carry enough weight to be deserving of an invitation from the Lady Trevelyan; especially with their recent victory over Corypheus.

She gave her daughter a sincere look of curiosity, "what?" Lady Trevelyan couldn't understand the displeased look from her daughter, she saw no injustice in her disparaging behavior.

Evelyn rolled her eyes, "I thought Cul… err… the Commander might stay here with us until I leave."

Lady Trevelyan raised an eyebrow. "Well… I suppose he did get you here safely. You will have to discuss it with your father, but the guestrooms' occupied, and the north wing closed for the winter." She gave her daughter an exasperated look, like the thought of a commoner as a houseguest was as blasphemes as painting Andraste naked. "Maker knows where we'll put him!" she added dramatically.

"I'm used to lesser luxury; I'll be fine as long as there's a bed I can sleep in."

This seemed to ease the mistress of the house. She rubbed her chin as she pretended to think of somewhere to put him. "You won't mind if we put you in our servant quarter?"

"Mother!"

Lady Trevelyan raised her shoulders, "what?"

Evelyn would have torn her mother to pieces hadn't it been for Cullen's interference. "No E… Inquisitor, it's quite alright."

She crossed her arms and gave her mother a hard look. "Why are the guestrooms occupied?"

The question seemed to be the right one to ask, for her mother could hardly contain her excitement. "Oh, we have the most charming houseguest! You won't believe it. He's so handsome and polite, and he's very well read. You will absolutely adore him!"

Lady Trevelyan's wishes was so transparent that they were an embarrassing display of human folly. "Maker's breathe…"

"Don't seem so sour my dear." She interlocked her arm with Evelyn's and led her in to the main hall. "Men want a fun-loving girl who can cheer him up," she stated as it was a matter of fact. She looked over her shoulder, "don't you agree, Commander?"

Cullen awkwardly stalked behind the Trevelyan women. He cleared his throat before he dared to speak up against the lady of the house. "Ehm… I rather like ser…"

"You see," Lady Trevelyan cut him off before he could finish the word 'serious'. "Men like fun-loving girls, even the ones that don't hold a high a social status as we do."

"I don't think Commander Cullen was about to agr…"

"Oh Hill!" Lady Trevelyan exclaimed when she noticed one of her servant elves dusting the paintings on the hallway wall leading out of the main hall. "Do you recognize this beautiful young lady in my arms?"

The whitehaired, elderly elf opened her mouth to speak, but Lady Trevelyan answered for her, letting Hill gawk like a goldfish. "It's Miss Evelyn of course. She's finally home! Haven't she grown Hill?" Hill parted her lips, but Lady Trevelyan cut her off once again, "and she's so tall! The last time she was here, she was about your height. Can you believe it!?"

Evelyn's face turned to a bright red. She gave Hill an apologetic glance as her mother tugged her away from the servant, eager to show her off to the rest of the staff. Hill gave her the familiar nod she always received while apologized for her mother's tactlessness.

"Oh before I forget," Lady Trevelyan said as she suddenly turned around to face Hill again. "Would you be a dear and show Miss Evelyn's guest to the spare room in the kitchens?"

The Inquisitor didn't get to see the reaction of Cullen nor Hill's face before her mother dragged her into the library. She nearly pushed Evelyn down in a sofa and rang the bell for tea. While they waited, Lady Trevelyan busied herself with her daughter's hair.

A young elf entered the room with a tea tray and placed it on the table in front of Evelyn. The Lady sent the girl away and poured Evelyn a cup, then herself. "Oh," Lady Trevelyan fake gasped, "I forgot to tell your father you're here. I'll get him. You… just sit here." She rose from her seat and hurried to the door leading to the West Wing. "Sit up straight would you? Your figure is best when you sit up straight."

Evelyn sunk down to a comfortable position as soon as her mother left the room. She took a sip of tea and let her eyes wander around the familiar bookshelves. The only thing she had truly missed when she moved to the circle was the centuries worth of books her family had collected. To think she would have inherited all of this if she wasn't a mage.

She sighed and closed her eyes, contemplating on how she could break the news about her relationship with Cullen. The displeased look on her mother's face was something she dreaded, but not as much as the uncomfortable silence her father would enter into. She rubbed her forehead and let out a sigh.

The Inquisitor didn't bother to sit up when she heard the creek from the West Wing door. She was old enough to stomach the scolding for behaving unladylike. The footsteps following the creek didn't match her mother's tripping, but it sounded somewhat familiar. She opened her eyes and turned to look in the direction of the approaching person.

"Marvelous library you got here milady," a man's voice echoed.

Evelyn closed her eyes once more, and sunk further down in the sofa. "You're my mother's guest I take it? She readied a cup of tea for you before she pretended to fetch my father."

"Oh splendid," Dorian Pavus seated himself next to the Inquisitor. He added some milk in his tea and leaned back.

"Why are you here Dorian?" she asked lazily.

"You know my love for rustic furniture?"

"Somewhere along the line of adoring it to pieces"

"Yes! That's what I love about you, you just get me."

"My mother will be thrilled," she answered sarcastically. "So you traveled to the Free Marches to acquire furniture?"

"Well, Bull and the Chargers had some dealings in Kirkwall. I decided to tag along."

Evelyn snorted, "this isn't Kirkwall. Are you here with the Iron Bull?"

"A qunari in this household? Could you imagine?"

"I would have been fun though, the look on my mother's face."

Dorian took a sip of his tea "I don't think your mother would have invited me if she knew we were involved. I fear it's just me and my elven slave."

Evelyn opened her eyes and gave the Tevinter next to her a lazy look. "I knew Corypheus would be a bad influence on you. Enslaving elves… what will be next? Blood magic?"

"You know us Tevinters, a bunch of evil slavers and blood mages."

"Mhm, and who's this slave of yours?"

Dorian smirked as he grabbed a biscuit from the tea tray. He took a bite before he spoke, "who do you think?"

Evelyn sighed, "where is she?"

He answered with a shrug.

"How did you coax Sera into this?"

"Oh, don't believe for a second that this wasn't her idea," he said as he finished the biscuit. "Where's our dear Commander?"

"Down in the kitchens. Someone has occupied the spare bedrooms."

"I'm so sorry about that… truly… but you see, my slaves are accustomed to a certain way of living. My family is very rich."

"Ahh, I'm sure they are Lord Pavus." Evelyn rolled her eyes and sat up to drink some of her tea. It was a little too cold for her taste, but she finished it nonetheless.

Lady Trevelyan reentered the library with Lord Trevelyan. "I see you have already met our guest."

"Difficult to avoid when you fling him on me like this."

"Evelyn! Watch your manners in front of Lord Pavus," Lady Trevelyan gave her daughter a stern look, "and sit up straight!"

After a rather awkward tea party whereas Lady Trevelyan tried to play matchmaker with the least compatible people in Thedas, while Lord Trevelyan just sat there in silence and watched his wife's folly. Dorian had welcomed the attempt in hopes of embarrassing his friend, which worked (much to his satisfaction). Evelyn announced that she would go and check on Cullen. Lady Trevelyan complimented her kindness towards her 'footman' as she called him, and suggested Dorian come with to explore the castle.


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They found Cullen in his room, rubbing his temple while Sera loudly enthused about bees in a jar.

"There you are," he said in a relieved tone when he noticed Evelyn. "Would someone please explain why Sera and Dorian are here?"