I stepped down of my throne of fame just for one single girl.
Hokou Furikana here. I am 17 years old and still feeling the youth, even in my second year! Not just that; I could say I'm pretty handsome! I just am. I am king of my school! I am the perfection of my district! Perfect brown hair, shiny gold eyes, and perfect nose and lips! Perfect height of 6 feet, perfect build? I got them, too!
I've attracted hundreds of women from my level. Who can blame me? Good looks, the brains, athletic prowess; everything is just how I feel as perfect! Huh, I've even heard of my teachers gossiping about my looks! How cool is that?!
Huh, not just that, but my attractiveness also reached the neighboring schools! I almost felt like a superstar right then and there!
Again, I'm the king of my school. Though, it's just in my school; in fact, my "King" act was just a facade of my other self. When I'm out of it, I'm this introverted guy who locks himself in his room, sits in a corner, and looks at the one poster of the girl he admires. Lame, isn't it? Wait 'till you hear that this person he admires is a school idol, Kousaka Honoka.
You see, Honoka is just my next door neighbor. The start of living with her was so annoying; she yells so loud, even if it was early in the morning. She was my personal "alarm clock", though she wasn't aware of it. Screw "every morning"; I say it's "all the time". She disturbs everything I do, just by shouting. My studies, my gaming, my watching, my reading; she annoys me to the core, just with that shout. She worries about everything; from her academics, to that Japanese shop her family runs. With that annoying habit of hers, I was sure she would build a bad reputation among her neighbors.
Though as time went by, slowly but surely did she become famous. So famous that the schools around her love her. Couldn't blame it. Even though that habit of hers was annoying, her neighbors saw her as a lively student who is currently enjoying her high school life. But besides that fact, she was part of this group, μ's.
In that group, her voice was melodious; angelic, even. Her dancing was in perfect sync with her fellow members. Even though she sometimes wasn't in the center if the team, she was the one who stood out the most. Her vigorous voice brings the people's attention not just to the group, but to her. I could point out that they call this ability "charisma".
She was the only one I couldn't have for myself, even with my school-wide reputation as king. Look at her. The group she leads ranks high in the table. She can attract people towards her just by singing.
What I was staring at was a poster of her posing along with eight other members. She stood at the center; the reason why I kept that poster there. Her looks were on par with mine, if I do say so myself; in fact, hers might be far greater.
It's currently a Saturday morning, and I was taking my time studying for my midterms. I was finishing my notes, and understanding various terms and equations. It took little effort to do so, and thus it took me a few minutes to get the lesson. I closed my textbook with the notes between it.
I sighed as I stood up and approached my laptop. I stuck the plug of my headphones to the side and opened the laptop. I opened a website and saw a video of μ's. I've been watching their most recent song: "Dancing Stars on Me!". I played the video and watched attentively.
The song was lively, and their costumes were well-made. They had wonderful solos, and were really amazing as their voices unified in the chorus. But the voice I was focused on was Honoka's. Her face was just as lively as the song she was singing. If only she could go out with me on a date.
I unconsciously typed in some letters in the comment box beside the playing video, and accidentally pressed enter before I could properly read what I typed. Turns out I had typed in all of what I thought while watching the video. I widened my eyes as I realized that I have posted such a straightforward comment.
Ah! Sht, this is embarrassing! I thought among myself. I... can't delete my comment now... They must've received the notification already. Ah, what should I do?
I started to breath shakily as replies to my comment said that it would be next to impossible that I would get to date the leader of μ's. Some posted hate comments and insults, and some were just telling me to just get out of the life of the group.
I was about to close my laptop and sulk in a corner when I heard a notification that I have received an e-mail. I opened my laptop again, and checked what the mail was. I wasn't familiar of the address, but it said:
"Hokou-kun... wasn't it? I read your comment on [Dancing Stars on Me!]. Thanks for that sweet comment! As for the last message, I kind of wanna answer your feelings. Meet me tomorrow at nine in the maid café. Inside should we talk about your feelings.
Don't worry! I won't bite! Just... come in your casual clothes, okay? We don't want anyone to know you're out with a school idol, don't we? Eh he he... Well then, expecting you soon!
By the way, I'm giving you my address so that we can keep in touch!
- Honoka Kousaka"
I read the sender of the message, and blinked a few times before realizing the truth in it. It was real. I was honestly surprised that it was Honaka Kousaka! The school idol! Accepting my proposal for a date! Believe it or not, I had tears of everlasting joy flowing from my eyes.
I jumped multiple times in my bed and hid my face in a pillow just to mute my shouts. It was just so exciting and thrilling. I was going to be on a date with Kousaka Honoka the school idol! Any fan would kill just to get my spot!
A Sunday, five in the early morning. The exact time I was up. The truth is, I couldn't sleep last night. It was a busy that night, considering what I had to say to her on the day I would confess. I was too focused on the problem that I was deprived off of sleep, and all I could do was a three-hour nap. I stretched my arms out and yawned as I got out of bed. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and went downstairs to shower. After showering, I picked my clothes out from my drawer, and wore them. A red tartan-patterned polo shirt and a black tee underneath, along with blue jeans and sneakers. I also prepared my sling bag full of the things I needed to please her; money, pen, paper, and that note I used if I ever forgot to say something important.
I realized that was prepared too early, so I decided to watch some music videos before I leave, which was set at half past six. I still have more than one hour left, so I spent it all on watching music videos. They were my favorite escapes from reality, after all.
I walked out of the house and passed by Honoka's. Just at the right time, she went out of it. Talk about coincidence! She was wearing a blue blouse with a peach-colored jacket over it, along with a red pleated skirt and brown boots.
"Ah! Furikana-san! Rarely do I see you going outside of your house!" she greeted and laughed heartily. "So, where would you be going?"
"Ummm..." I stuttered, because I didn't know what to say. "I-I was... I was..."
"Ah-re? Do you know where you're supposed to go?" Honoka wondered, shocking me.
"N-No! I know where I was heading for! A maid café in Akiba..." I admitted, but added, "to meet a friend, that is!"
"Oh, this is the work of coincidence!" she exclaimed. "I'm supposed to go there, too! Shall we head there together?"
"Ah, th-then..." I stuttered again, but regained my breath. "Let's go!" But before I could walk forward, I felt a drop of water on the tip if my nose. Then, it started to slowly pour rain.
"Ah, what a pain..." I said. "And I was looking forward to it..."
"It's no problem!" Honoka assured. "As long as it doesn't really pour, it's not canceled! Let's run!" Honoka took my hand and ran as fast as she could. She was yelling on the way, but was happy as she ran. My hand was tightly trapped in hers, but I wasn't really dragged around.
In a few minutes, we reached a bus stop heading for Akiba. We rode it, paid the fare, and started looking for a vacant seat, but there was only one.
"I'll stand," I immediately decided.
"Y-You sure? If so, then if you'll excuse me..." she obliged, and sat down. I hold on to the railing of the train, as the rest of the people were sitting down. Headed for Akiba, the bus started moving. "While we're on the way, tell me about this friend of yours! I think I'm interested in that person," Honoka suddenly spoke.
"... I-If you say so..." I agreed anyway and started with, "It's a girl, actually. When I first met her, she was this super annoying and noisy person, who knows nothing but worry for something. But one day, I saw her singing, and this part of me wanted to be friends with her. So we did."
"Ah, great story!" Honoka commented. "The person I'm meeting with is a fan; a boy, actually."
My eyes widened at the first description. I don't know if I was sure, but I was confident it was me.
"He commented nice things to my group's songs, and yesterday asked me out on a date. So now, I'm going there to tell him what I feel."
"Wh-what will you say to him once you talk about it?" I asked out of the blue.
"I... was thinking about rejecting him properly," she answered nervously, and those words pierced through my heart.
I knew something like this was coming, but hearing it from a third person's point of view hurt more. Well, it was predicted, so I had nothing to argue with that. I was, after all, just a fan.
"But... I'm too nervous to say that to him," she continued. "What if he doesn't like my songs anymore? What if he'll blackmail me after? What if-"
"Then shout at the top of your lungs," I advised.
"... Huh?" Honoka sounded, uncertain of the words I said.
"Shout at the top of your lungs," I repeated, smiling this time. "Your shouts were annoying, because you do so all the time. Morning, afternoon, evening. I can hear your loud voice ringing in my ears. I realized that you were shouting out of frustration, out of worry. Why not do it?"
"... You're right," Honoka agreed, nodding her head once. "I've gotta let out all of the unnecessary feelings I've got inside before I get to face him. Yeah, I'll do that! Thanks, Furikana-kun!" She faced me, giggled, and smiled. It was... a cute look on her face. And for the first time, Honoka smiled at me for real. I wanted to deny that smile and think that this is all a dream, but it was too real to be denied. I mean, it's school idol Honoka Kousaka, smiling at me personally!
The bus then stopped all so suddenly that I lurched forward to inertia.
"Sorry, everybody," the driver said. "The tires became flat all of a sudden. It might take me about half an hour to repair it, but it's your choice to stay or not."
"Eh?!" I whined, and looked at the clock. It was already eight thirty in the morning. Thirty minutes before the date! With the repair time, both of us won't make it in time. "We can't wait in this bus! Let's charge through the rain, Honoka!" I suggested, and offered a hand.
"... Sure," Honoka agreed and took my hand, and then we stepped out into the rain. We sprinted as I looked around the area for shelter. I found a temple nearby, so we decided it would be the one we take in. We ran up the stairs, but I was getting tired. I stopped shortly to catch my breath, but Honoka kept running, and was now the one leading me. We continued running until we reached the top, but we didn't stop there; we went inside the temple to finally end the run.
Inside, we sat down, leaned on the wall and caught our breaths. Despite the rain that made us wet, I was sure I was sweating, though I felt the cold more. My legs almost failed me, but I was glad we reached the temple.
"Hey..." I suddenly called, "are we gonna stay here and wait for the rain to clear up?"
"Yeah, I think we should," Honoka agreed, and I relaxed my shoulders in relief.
"How about our clothes, then?" I asked again. "... Hey, Honoka. I'm gonna leave you and find a towel. Stay put, okay?" I stood up and ran, but cried in pain as a sprain suddenly came up on my right foot. I crashed on the wooden floor as a result.
"Furikana-kun!" Honoka called and approached me. "I'm getting the towels. You stay put and rest. We'll get that foot fixed, too."
"O-okay..." I gave in, and crawled towards the nearest wall, then I leaned on it. I waited for minutes until Honoka came back with a pair of fresh towels.
"Here you go," Honoka called and handed me one. "I've also found some spare clothes from the shrine maidens, so help yourself with them! Hee hee!" She chuckled and handed me a set, and I accepted it anyway. "And we shouldn't forget about that sprain of yours." She neared me and brought out a roller bandage. "Here, let me wrap it up." She then started treating my foot.
When it was done, she sighed in relief and gave me a thumbs up.
"Thanks, Honoka-san..." I told her.
"No problem at all, Furikana-kun!" she assured, and smiled at me. "Ah-ra, I remember. We shouldn't let the rain dry in our skin, or we will catch colds! So I've decided to let you change first! I'll be outside, so take you time-" Before she was about to leave, I reached for her hand. "Eh?"
"H-Honoka-san, I'm the one who should be letting you change first," I confronted. "As a man, I have this policy. Please, don't mind my sprain, or anything for that matter. Just let me let you change first."
"... Ah," Honoka sounded before finally saying that she agrees, though she was reluctant. I crawled out of the room and left her there so that she can change.
I had my own business to attend to, so I took my top clothes off and dried myself before putting the new clothes on. It was a plain blue t-shirt, but it was enough size for me to breathe in.
I realized that I have slept when I just woke up. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked around. The rain has stopped. I was still sitting on the shrine entrance, while a weight was pressing my left shoulder. I looked at it and saw Honoka sleeping soundly. She was also wearing the same tee I had, but she had a change of bottoms too. It was a long red pleated skirt.
Of course, I blushed at the sight, but she honestly looked beautiful while sleeping. Usually, I would see her with bed hair and yawning like no one was around. But this time, she was sleeping in perfect peace.
She slowly woke up, yawned like usual, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before looking around. She saw me looking at her and unconsciously greated, "Good morning, Furikana-kun..."
"Ah, Honoka-san," I greeted back. "Good mor-" I almost replied back, before I realized the time. I sat there stiff like a board while Honoka was stretching.
"Wow, that was a nice nap we had there, huh…?" Honoka said, seemingly relaxed about everything, not even noticing the time. "Ah, it's almost time for my date. Let's go, Furikana-kun?" she offered, her voice totally lazy.
"It's already past noon, Honoka-san..." I informed, laughing softly.
"... EH?!" she exclaimed, finally gaining full consciousness. "That's past the meeting time! Let's hurry, Furikana-kun! We must've kept them waiting for long!" And then she ran ahead, leaving me behind.
"O-oi, Honoka-san! Wait for me!" I called and ran along with her. I slid down the middle railing of every set of steps just to skip them. I was finally at the bottom of the stair with Honoka running with the same speed. We both ran out way to Akiba, since it was just a few kilometers away. Running was the only thing we did until we reached the maid café we were supposed to go. We entered the café and sat on a four-person table, as we told the waitress that it was a "double date".
We're here... I thought. Must be time to admit it...
"We're here! ... Though, the others aren't here yet..." Honoka breathily announced. "Let's place our orders before anything else!"
"U-ummm... Honoka-san..." I called softly. "I wanna say something..."
"What are you waiting for? Aren't you supposed to wait for your friend? King Hokou-kun?"
I was surprised by what she called me. Suddenly calling me by my first name was just like the time I received her e-mail yesterday. And not just that; she called me King. I was not from Otonokizaka Academy, but how come she knew of that title?
"E-eh…?" I suddenly sounded.
"I knew everything from the start, you know?" she informed me. "From the time I saw you in your casual clothes this morning, I knew it you who posted that comment. You know, even if you were a king-slash-shut-in, I've always known you. To confess, I had those shouts all your life just to get your attention, my worries coming in second. I stopped it when I had something new to worry about: μ's."
"You're right... you've lessened those shouts ever since you've created that group," I commented.
"But let's be honest; you've liked my voice ever since [START:DASH!], didn't you?" Honoka teased and laughed like a little kid.
"Yes, I did," I straightforwardly answered, a smile plastered on my face. "Every single song. As long you were in it, I'd be happy to listen. That's what I'm thinking of right now."
"Thanks, thanks," Honoka said, and giggled a bit, but her smile was slowly fading. "But let's get to the point. I've... seen your comment on that video. I appreciate your feelings, Hokou-kun. I really do. The other girls were kind of jealous when they read that comment. But the first emotion I felt was... worry. I couldn't help myself from thinking about the possibilities. Decision-making was so hard that I had to ask help from the others. Then I came with the most appropriate decision, and I haven't changed my mind since then. It was to kindly and properly reject those feelings."
"Yeah, I expected that," I told her as a single tear flowed from my left eye. "I-I mean... y-you're a school idol! Idols are su-supposed to... be forbidden from deeper acquaintances than friendship, right?"
"Th-that's not it, Hokou-kun! I-" Honoka denied, tears about to flow from her eyes, but I continued anyway.
"You have so many fans, right? Some of them would kill just to be in my place. It was short but worth my time meeting my one and only idol. You... Honoka Kousaka, the leader of μ's. You're that one and only. But I think that idol is a distant star far away and out of my reach."
"... I'm glad you understand my status, but you shouldn't be treating yourself so low about it!" Honoka confronted. "We can always meet! We're... We're neighbors, right? We follow the same path to school. We go home at almost the same time. Isn't that all the worthwhile? You can still-"
"Thanks for worrying about me, Honoka-san," I cut her off and gently placed a hand on her right shoulder. "You don't need to pressure youself and force it. I'm not gonna blackmail you, nor will I hate your songs. I'm a diehard fan, after all. I'll support you from the back row, okay? Just remember my name, and I'm fine."
She sniffed, and tears were continuously flowing from her eyes, but she eventually agreed. "Sure," she said, and smiled with the same sad expression. "Forever."
"I've... had a nice time with you, Honoka-san. I made the right choice, out of nine members," I admitted. "I'll be going home now. Thanks for spending your precious time on me, Honoka-san. No... Kousaka-san. See you again." I removed my hand from her shoulder and went on my way, my head bowed to hide my face from such shameful tears I showed her.
I kept on walking until I crossed a bridge. Perfect timing, rain heavily poured down. My jacket was in my sling bag, but I didn't bother bringing it out. T'was a waste, since it just dried recently.
"Kousaka-san..." I muttered as I clenched both my teeth and fists, all out of pure guilt. She was the only person in mind. I couldn't help it. My tears kept flowing down until I started sniffing too.
Ah, what a clichéd way to end a date.
I spent the other weeks deprived off going out of my house. It was a doctor's suggestion, considering I came home that day as the rain dried on my clothes. I soon had a really bad cold, thus my deprivation. To be honest, deprivation was too strong; "rest" should be enough. Yeah, rest was all I needed. I stayed in bed for a few weeks until I recovered.
A winter day... a near-Christmas like no other. But I somehow wanted to spend it attending a concert. I exited my house in a thick fur coat, black tee, red scarf, brown mittens, jeans, and winter boots.
These past few months, I kept my King act to hide my depression. I distracted myself for a while by entertaining the girls around me. For now, I wanted to stay off of it.
I walked slowly and had my hands buried in the pockets of my coat. My thoughts were elsewhere, but I knew where I was headed: the stage of the final preliminaries of Love Live. I made it early, so I got to watch up front. After a few hours, the competition started. First competitor was μ's.
I saw all of them before me, wearing white winter costumes. They were all beautiful, I must admit. But the one I'm most focused on was on Honoka. She was the same as I saw her in her videos. It has been a while since I've watched some.
The music started playing, to which they started dancing. Then came the singing, which was melodious as always. But I was also focusing on the lyrics. And then I realized... it was a bit about the relationship between Honoka and me. Soon after, I've made eye contact with Honoka. We returned each other's gazes, and I saw Honoka's immediate sad expression. She sang her solo, but tears were building in her eyes.
I listened until the end, and waited for them to finish. When they did, I left immediately. I didn't want to hear any more from the other groups. I was voting for μ's right away, just like I have promised. I walked away with tears building up in my eyes. Before they could flow any longer, I ran as fast as I could, but I stopped when I heard commotion onstage. I turned around and saw Honoka on her knees and covering her face. I knew immediately that she was crying. Her friends comforted her, but she kept crying. I clenched my teeth and fists before getting hold of myself and ran away as fast as I could.
I left the grounds towards the academy I used to attend. I kept on walking and walking until I came upon the rooftop. The fence was around the perimeter, but all of what I saw there were a few fallen leaves. I walked towards the fence, held on it, and shouted at the empty open field before me.
"I love you, Kousaka Honoka!" I yelled as loud as my vocal chords could do me. "I love you so much, it hurts when I see you! I'm sorry, but- but…! I still do have feelings for you! I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." I apologized as frequent as I could until my knees failed themselves, and I ended up kneeling before the school entrance while banging on the fence. But in the end, I let out my hidden feelings. Just like Honoka and only Honoka was supposed to do. It seemed like I was advising myself to do it, huh…?
I've been in too much misery that I remembered my strained foot. I was bandaged regularly and treated every day, but the pain just wouldn't go away. I clutched my foot and shouted out the pain it's been causing. I rolled over and leaned on the fence while I was pressing my foot. The pain subsided, but I sweated in the cold.
I thought it would have been nice to lie in there and think about what happened in the past months, but I wanted to do something better. Something better than just sitting around and shouting out my feelings like a brokenhearted teenager in love.
Maybe I could transfer to a new school and show them my true colors. Maybe I can just drop my "King" act and just live the boring life. Maybe I could... Maybe I could...
There were so many options I could go through. There were so many! Yet... I couldn't do them. The way I was right now was because of someone so precious.
Kousaka Honoka.
I wanted to remember that new song they sang. The first official love song that μ's sang. The song that hit me the hardest the first time I heard it. The song which has stopped time all around me.
The winter season, the season of my first heartbreak. The first time I felt heaven. If I were to name the heartache I felt that time, it would be [Snow Halation].
I've made my decision, and a new year has started.
I chose to stick to my education, and there I would graduate from high school. I decided to show my true introvert self, and since then, all of them stayed away from me. All of the girls that were too clingy to me before now treated me like trash.
Of course, I continued my studies like I was supposed to be, and became a teacher's pet like before.
At the end of the day, I would walk home with a quiet atmosphere around me. No one walked with me, no one to talk with, no one to flirt with anymore.
It was new to me, but I should get used to this. I chose this path, after all.
I would enter my own house with an unchanging expression. I'd drop my bag on the door and remove my jacket. I'd remove my shoes and silently continue walking. There was no one to say "I'm back" to, after all.
I'd walk up the stairs and to my room, where my books and laptop laid. All of what I needed in a single room.
I'd sit on my study table and prepare my materials. I'd open my laptop, open the books beside me, and research on the content of the book.
Reading boring articles and checking random websites, I thought I was gonna fall sleep in a few minutes when...
"HOKOU-KUUUN!" a strong but girly voice called out from outside. I practically jumped in surprise, because I never would have thought someone would call me. I put aside my laptop and looked out my window. I was surprised to see such a presence in front of my house.
Honoka stood there, still in her school uniform. She was still cupping her hands around her open mouth when I saw her.
"Hono- Kousaka-san..." I hesitantly answered her call. "Wh-What do you need...?"
"LET ME IN!" she shouted as loud as she could.
I blasted back when I heard it, as if a strong wind came through my window. I stood up as abruptly as I could as I raced towards the main door. I opened it and to my surprise, Honoka rushed in and kissed me.
My mind blew the moment our lips made contact. Kissing my own crush, Kousaka Honoka... Kissing a school idol, Kousaka Honoka. It seemed like a dream, but if it was, I was glad I lived alone. No one would forcibly wake me up, not even Honoka.
She pulled away and gripped my shoulders. Her face was as it always is, and... Oh my Kami-sama, I've been longing to see that smile again. That wide and happiness-inducing smile.
But that didn't help me recover from the sudden kiss. "E-Eh…?" I sounded, still feeling dizzy.
"Hokou-kun," Honoka called. "It might be selfish of me to say this but... can I make you mine?"
My ears must have had walls built inside them, as to not hear what Honoka just said. "Ko-Kousaka...-san…?"
"I'm telling you, go out with me!"
... go out with me...!
Was that... a confession, just now...? My brain isn't slow as to not misinterpret that, right? I'm not dreaming, right? This is certainly a dream! No way would Kousaka Honoka kiss me and then confess like it was simple, right?
And Honoka slapped me across the face, just like that.
"Wake up, Hokou-kun! You're not sleeping while standing up, right?!" Honoka shouted.
That's right... I'm not dreaming... That means... Honoka really does want to go out with me?!
"A-Are you... sure about that?" I asked. "Wh-What about your fans…?"
"I can handle them!" Honoka proudly answered.
"In what way?" I interrogated.
"... I'll think about it, somehow... Teehee!" Honoka said.
"This is a big risk, Honoka! What if they find out about this?! What about that idol group you're leading?!"
"... I'll figure it out," Honoka answered the same way.
"HONOKA! You're a school idol! Why some commoner like me?! Why would you pick me, anyway?!"
"Because I love you!"
Again, I couldn't process what I heard. She loves me? She better not be using a recorder on me. Because I am taking this seriously.
And yet again, I was slapped across the face. Now two of my cheeks were red.
"HOKOU-KUN! My feelings are true here. I love you, Hokou-kun. When I saw you watching the concert last year, I realized... I love you. I regretted rejecting your feelings. I couldn't deny it anymore. Why? Because you appreciated what I did, even after I doubted them all. Because you were open with your feelings. Because you were the first to actually accept and agree with my ideals. Because... You're you."
"Ho-Honoka-san..." I called softly. I was blushing hard. My cheeks were redder than the slap marks Honoka left on them. Her sudden confession left me speechless. I had no guts to say why I loved her, but she took her courage with her and gave me, a no one, a reason to love her.
I lost control of myself and fell over my own two feet. I landed on the floor and laid there to try and comfort my own body.
"Hokou-kun?! Are you okay?!" Honoka panicked and ran over to my aid. She knelt over me and placed both her hands on either side of my head.
"Ch-Chance," I suddenly said and smiled before reaching out to grab her nape and pull her for a kiss.
I did it successfully, and we were there in the open entrance with our lips in contact. I smiled to this, and I was sure Honoka was smiling too.
We pulled away, and I saw that smile again. A smile she gave passion making. Her smile gave others around her happiness. I was one of them.
"So I take that kiss right now as a yes?" Honoka asked still smiling.
"You bet," I answered, and smiled back.
Just being there staring at Honoka, I thought maybe staying like that was fine. It's risk taker, school idol, Kousaka Honoka, after all.
