Daniel sat on the floor staring at the box in front of him as if afraid it might develop teeth and bite him. He was filled with a mixture of excitement and heavy sadness looking at it knowing what it represented to him. Should he open, see what was inside? Should he put it aside until he felt better able to deal with the contents?
Tentatively he reached a hand out to touch it, skimming the top lightly. It was just a cardboard box, nothing to be afraid of. That's what he told himself. Then why was his hand shaking? He drew his hand back, opening and closing it nervously. He shook it out and tried again, reaching out slowly...
"Hey, Daniel, what are you doing sitting on the floor?" Jack's voice startled him and he jerked his hand back as if burned.
"Geeze, Jack, give a guy some warning, will you?" He stood, moving away from the box, hoping to draw his friend's attention away from it.
The tactic failed to work, "What you got?" Jack moved over to inspect the box. He put his hand on it and Daniel almost had to stop himself from pulling him away. He looked at the return address and turned a surprised glance in Daniel's direction, "Nick?"
"It's nothing," Daniel kept his tone light. He hoped desperately that the other man wouldn't press the issue. "It's just some of his stuff the care facility found when they were packing up his things. They thought I might want it."
"Oh, well that's cool." Jack lost interest in the box and perched on the edge of Daniel's desk. "So , what you got going tonight? Any big plans?"
"Plans for?"
"Didn't you notice it's Valentine's Day? Sheesh, they have all those hearts and roses things all over the commissary. You'd have to be blind not to see it."
Daniel sighed, "I noticed, Jack, but it's not like we have anything to celebrate." He didn't have to elaborate. Jack felt the pain that emanated from his friend. The loss of his wife, Sha're had hit him hard. He had been despondent ever since. It was true that he had reconciled with his grandfather, Nick, but then the man had left his grandson's life again, choosing to stay with 'the giant aliens.'
But Jack was determined to pull his friend out of his funk. "Hey, Mr. Glass-is-Half-Empty, we have each other, we have the SGC, we have," he leaned in and said the word with special emphasis, "hockey. As in tonight. Two tickets." He pulled them from his pocket reverently and held them up for this friend to see. "Come with me. I'd ask Teal'c, but he always wants to join in the fights on the ice."
Daniel's eyebrows raised incredulously, but there was a smile hovering at the corners of his mouth. Jack almost thought he was going to give in, but then he shook his head, "No, I think I just want to be alone tonight."
Jack tsk'd with his tongue, "That's no good, Danny boy. You should be with your friends in the time honored tradition of the bachelor on Valentine's Day, drinking beer and watching other men beat themselves silly on the ice."
"Jack," Daniel's voice raised and then he got a hold of himself. "Just no, okay?" The plea in his eyes was too much and Jack gave in.
"Okay." He started to leave, but then he turned back. There had been something in his friend's voice. Something besides the loss of Sha're and Nick. "Daniel?"
Daniel didn't look up at him, but his whole body screamed, 'Just go away.'
Jack had never been one to take the subtle clues, "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
Daniel gave out a ragged breath and dropped down into his chair, "It's just that…, Valentine's Day has always been bad for me. Even before Sha're. Okay?"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Would you go away if I said no?"
"No."
"Well, there you go." Daniel took a deep breath. For a moment Jack thought he wasn't going to say anything. When he did finally speak his voice was so quiet Jack could barely hear him, "Valentine's Day was my… mom's favorite holiday. She'd spend days making cards for me and my dad. She loved it: she'd cut pictures out of magazine, draw pictures with crayons and markers, use lace doilies-the whole thing. She would write notes for us to read years later, like a time capsule sort of thing." He paused to push back the tears.
Jack didn't make a sound. He'd started this, he needed to let Daniel finish. "I had this special little box she gave me to put my cards in each year. When we left Egypt to go to New York, my box got packed away somewhere, I never knew where. When they…" he paused to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat and went on quickly, "died, it was just a couple of days before Valentine's Day. I was taken away so quickly and I never got any of my things back. I just wanted that box, but no one knew where it was." His eyes were full of tears that he refused to let fall. It had been years since he'd really thought of this. He'd dealt with it. He had, he told himself firmly.
There was quiet in the office when he was done. Jack didn't know what to say, how to help. "Maybe you need some new memories, Daniel," he said quietly, "not to take the place of those memories, but to add to it. Come to the game with me tonight," he urged.
Taking his glasses off, Daniel swiped at his eyes with a rough hand, and nodded. Somehow it felt better just having told someone. "Alright, but if I'm lousy company, it's your own fault."
"And that's different from normal, how?" Jack asked, a smirk on his face. He put his hand on Daniel's shoulder and gave him a small shake.
Daniel recognized his friend's sarcasm for what it was. A gentle way to tell him that it would be alright. Maybe a mindless hockey game and beers with Jack was better than being alone with his memories.
"What time?"
"Can you be ready by 5:00? I'll drive. We can stop and get something to eat on the way."
"Sounds like a date," Daniel agreed, waiting for the inevitable reply.
"Hey, don't say it like that. People talk you know."
"Yeah they do. Jack?" The Colonel had been on his way out. He looked back. "Thanks… you know… for everything." For not letting him wallow in his pool of pity. For being a friend and forcing him to talk about it.
Jack heard the unspoken words, "I know," he said quietly. "It's what friends are for.
Whistling a jaunty tune, he left Daniel alone.
Daniel approached the box again with determination. The things inside had belonged to his parents. He wanted the connection to them, on this day above all others.
He found the expected assortment of books and field journals, some even written in his father's hand. He placed them aside reverently, he would spend time reading through them later. There were letters and papers; and then, at the bottom of the box, he found it – an old wooden box, wrapped lovingly in a piece of cloth to keep it safe. In his mind's eye it had been grander and larger than the small plain box he pulled out.
Opening it slowly, almost afraid there would be nothing inside, he found all of the valentines that his mother had given him. They were faded and worn with time, but they were still beautiful in his eyes. He looked through them one by one, reading the words again, until he got to the last one. He picked it up curiously, reverently, it was one he'd never seen before. A red heart, it was decorated with snippets of pictures of mother's and sons. He opened it and the tears fell at last,
"Daniel, my son. I look at your eight-year-old self and already I can see the man that you're going to become. I just want you to know that wherever you go, whatever happens to you in your life, that my love will be with you always. Mom."
He sat there a long time, clutching the heart, reading and rereading the words. He knew his parents loved him, he had known that they still did, even in death. And now he knew that he had never been forgotten. This small gift from his mother, crafted with love all those years was proof of that.
Slowly he rose, putting the rest of the items back into the cardboard box. He ran a loving hand over the journals. The little wooden box he tucked into a drawer of his desk. Before he turned out the lights to go meet Jack, he placed the card from his mother next to his picture of Sha're.
Valentine's Day hadn't turned out so badly after all.
DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, but that's alright as long as I can take them out and play with them whenever I want ;-) The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
