Hey fellow Jack fans! I got this idea after listening a lot of Tool, and this song in particular I thought could fit a Mass Effect character pretty well. It didn't take much thought to realize it would fit Jack really well, as what makes her character so great is how she develops from being so full of hate to a state where she's ready to move on and put it behind her. Hope you enjoy! I'm not sure whether the italicized lyrics add or take away from the story, but I figured they were a good way to cover where exactly in Jack's development she is for that section.
Wear the grudge like a crown
Jack stared at the crimson dripping down the wall, bloodlust coursing through her veins. The guard was dead, face still frozen in fear and shock. Alarms pierced her ears, a pattern of noise that only served to enrage her further. Gunfire and screams beyond the door finally managed to break her concentration on the mess she had made of the body in front of her. A wicked, unnatural smile crossed her face, and she rushed towards the sounds of battle.
No one was safe as she tore through the facility. Sometimes the adults would attack, sometimes the other kids would attack, but more often than not Jack didn't give them the chance. Young, old, man, woman, they all died the same. A few times she heard the guards shouting something about her, something about Subject Zero. It was static, mindless noise. She lost count of how many died at her hands, only vaguely aware of the blood staining her from head to toe. The smile still had not left her face. Two teenage boys rushed towards her, glowing blue with biotics. She recognized them from the fights, two that they had not allowed her to kill. They were no match for her, as she sent a biotic field at them, sending the boys flying a nearby wall. They would not get to live this time. Their pleas for mercy were music, urging Jack to kill. Bones broke beneath her fists, and she laughed.
A shuttle was docked, her escape finally in sight. Everyone had tried to stop her, try to kill her, and now their blood painted the walls, their broken and twisted corpses evidence of her power. Another Cerberus guard came running her way, firing her gun. Jack through up a barrier, rendering the shot useless, before lifting the guard in the air and slamming her to the ground. The snap of bone through skin preceded a blood curling scream. Jack contemplated finishing the job, but she needed to escape, now, before the adults and the other kids realized they should team up. She could hear them as they continued to fight elsewhere in the facility, and both had been shouting something about her name as she passed. They all wanted her dead, that much had become clear during her escape. They could all go to hell, she was leaving. Boarding the shuttle, she quickly found she did not know how to fly it. With no other option, she began pressing everything she could, screaming for the shuttle to start. Eventually it did, and she screamed in triumph this time.
The shuttle had been floating in space for at least two days now, and Jack would run out of food in two more. Already her stomach was growling, dissatisfied with the meager portions it had been receiving. Her arms ached, her legs ached, and her eyes were red and raw from crying. The blood covering her body had dried, leaving her skin an ugly rust color. She wanted to go home. She realized she had never had a home. She missed her desk. It had been the only safe place in her life.
Jack had lost track of the days, when the heavy thump of boots on metal woke her from her starved, dehydrated sleep. She looked up, vision blurry from tears and darkness, the gleam of metal and flashlight off a gun harsh after so many days of next to no light. None of their faces were visible behind their helmets, and their voices were distant whispers she could not understand. One of them eventually moved forward, picking her up and carrying her in his arms. She heard a laugh. If she had the strength, she would have hugged them. She had finally been saved.
Clutch it like a cornerstone
Jack woke, the cold metal around her neck, wrists, waist, and ankles little more than a nuisance. One wrist broke loose from its shackles, quickly followed by another. One leg broke free as she ripped loose the metal digging into her neck. The other leg broke free as she freed her waist. She fell forward, free, and very, very angry. The first thing she saw were two large mechs turning towards her. Her face contorted in anger, remembering how she had been caught and placed in this prison in the first place. As she stood, she remembered the taunts from the guards, the fear on the faces of the other prisoners, the way the warden talked of using her. She would never allow Pragia to happen again. These people would sell her to Cerberus, and she would never let that happen. She rushed towards the mechs, entire body aglow with biotic energy. They came apart with ease. Jack remembered how much fun killing was.
Just like before, everyone tried to kill her. Just like before, they all died. They all deserved it. She tore a path through the facility, if a wall blocked her way, she ripped it away. If a person stood in front of her, she tore them apart, or time did not allow cripped them to ensure they could not follow. She made her way to the docking bay, seeing the ship outside. The insignia on the hull was one she recognized. Cerberus. They had come to buy her, just like they did when she was a child. They wanted to bring her back t one of their facilities, where they would again lock her away from the world and use her for their enjoyment. She was grown now. The guards would have fun this time. The rage grew within her the more she stared at the symbol. She began pacing back and forth, contemplating the enjoyment she would get as she tortured every piece of shit aboard that ship.
A gunshot rang out to her left, a dead prison guard falling the ground, crimson staining the ground where his head fell. Three more came behind him, two men armed and armored, a woman in a skin tight suit. Two of them wore the Cerberus symbol on their clothing. The other did not, but he was clearly the leader, Cerberus all the same. He told her he was her to rescue her, that he needed her for a mission. She told him he was full of shit. She asked for access to Cerberus's files on her. He agreed. The woman, the cheerleader whore, she told him he couldn't do that. Those were her conditions to come with them. Again, the leader agreed. She followed to their ship.
Defining, Confining, Controlling
Jack was beginning to like being on this ship. The Normandy, it was called, an improved version of a ship of the same name that Cerberus had built for this mission to stop the Collectors. Not that she gave a shit about any of that. Shepard was giving her things to kill on a regular basis, and so far he hadn't asked anything of her in return other than to kill more in the future. Other than Shepard, they all left her alone. Good thing, if any of those Cerberus fuckers bothered her she would not hesitate to make them pay, both for the inconvenience and for what they had done to her before. Jack didn't care if none of these people had been involved, they were Cerberus. They deserved to pay. Especially that cheerleader bitch, Miranda.
Miranda was so fucking snobby, so unapologetic of all the horrible things her boss was responsible for. Jack only managed not to rip the bitch apart because Shepard kept them apart as much as possible. Shepard, he was a different story all together. He came down to her little slice of heaven beneath engineering all the time, asking her stupid questions that she answered for some reason. She had confronted him last time, asking him what his angle was, if he was just looking for sex. She had been sure that was Shepard's game, they all wanted her either to fight, fuck, or both. Not Shepard. He had told her that was not his goal, that he just wanted to know the people in his crew. Jack had waited until he left to shout that she was not part of his crew.
Maybe Shepard was just a good guy. He had not gone back on his word to give her the file Cerberus held. She spent most her free time looking over it, trying to make sense of it. The facility on Pragia and the sick shit they had done to her was vaguely covered. She had locations, she had names, she had work to do after this shit with the Collectors was done. They would pay. They would all pay. Anyone who tried to stop her would get their names added to the list.
Drags you down like a stone, to consume you
Jack did not want to ask for help, especially not from Shepard. He was such a frustrating son of a bitch, she could not tell if Shepard was treating her with respect or like a science experiment. Either way, she was uncomfortable. It was too late to change her mind now, though. She could hear the footsteps as they clanged down the metal stairs, and only one person every came to see her down here. She tried to calm herself before she saw him, but ended up pacing and rambling about shit crawling around in her head. Shepard said nothing as she walked past, only followed. She told him about Pragia, about growing up there, about how the first thing she remembered was her cell door. She spilled her guts about what Cerberus had done to her. Of course he asked some questions, and she answered them briefly, stressing that the why didn't matter, not to him, not to anyone.
When she told Shepard she wanted to blow the place up, to go there and watch from orbit as the place was blasted from existence, he agreed. She thanked him, and Shepard walked away, no questions, not asking anything in return, nothing. She fucking hated him. She was grateful. And she fucking hated it. Shepard was not the first to try the nice guy act with her, but very few had ever carried on the charade this long. Jack had promised herself she would never fall for anyone's shit ever again, but she was. Shepard had already gained her respect. Anyone that can kill anything that walked the way Shepard did was worthy of everyone's respect. That wasn't a problem. That also wasn't where it stopped. She was beginning to trust Shepard. He was working with Cerberus, but he hated them. He was a cold, calculated, brutal killer on the battlefield, but a good friend and kind man off it. He was more than just the guy that she had to listen to until the Collectors were gone. He was becoming a friend. She fucking hated him.
Till you choose to let this go
How fucking dare he!? This place was an abomination, it needed to be wiped off the map, and this asshole wanted to start it up again. It as bad enough that her head was all clouded and confused because of the shit she had seen so far. She remembered this place, as clear as day. They all hated her, they all wanted her dead. She would fight them while others watched. They performed all kinds of sick experiments on her. Kids, adults, they all deserved to pay. Then she saw the video logs, saying that she was special, that the other kids had suffered and died to make sure their experiments were safe for her. The memories were clear as day in her head, that was not how it happened.
But now this guy was saying the same shit, and Jack knew it was true. It made her hate them all the more. Why her? Why was she the one they did this to? What the fuck did she do to deserve this? At least the other kids had received the mercy of dying rather than live their lives crushed under the guilt. They had done this to her! The scientists, the kids, the guards, the Illusive Man, Cerberus, they all needed to fucking die!
Jack pulled a gun on the coward in front of her. Shepard asked her to put it away. How could she let this bastard live? How could Shepard let this bastard live? She insisted he needed to die, but Shepard was steadfast, telling her she was better than that, that she could move on. She didn't deserve to move on. She was a monster, every bit as much as the man cowering on his knees beneath her. This was her life, she was a psychotic bitch that would spend her life killing, robbing, and fucking until the day she died, whether that was tomorrow, in a month, in a year, or decades from now.
The gun lowered. Goddamn it, she had no idea why, but she was listening. She told the son of a bitch to run, and they planted the bomb. Before they armed it, she asked Shepard to let her look around. Despite everything that happened here, it was still home, the only home she ever had. She remembered the one way window, how she would stand near it, screaming at the kids outside. The bed, where she would tie the sheets around her wrists. The desk that had been her only safe haven, her only friend. The blood stain outside the cell, a permanent mark from the first man she ever killed. She wanted to leave. She didn't want to come back here ever again. She wanted it all to end.
Let go
Jack felt relief. She felt pride. She felt the bloodlust waning as it left her body and she calmed down. She felt all the emotions typical to her when a fight was over. There was something else though, and it was not bothering her like she expected it to. She felt happiness. Not just that she was alive, but that everyone was alive. Even the cheerleader, who had told the Illusive Man to go fuck himself back on the Collector Base. Jack was checking her pistol when Shepard walked in the room, a triumphant glow around him. Jack offered the briefest of nods in his direction. She couldn't pretend she had put everything behind her. She couldn't pretend she was a good person. But for the first time, she wanted to be. Life was too short and too precious to waste on what happened in the past. Jack was only sorry it took her so long to realize it.
There it is! I thought this turned out pretty well, with a great song by a great band as inspiration. Review at your pleasure, I'm always open to feedback, good or bad. :)
