A/N: A one shot that may or may not make it into a fic later on. All mistakes are my own.

Prompt: Killian and Emma go to a party, pretending to be dating where she runs into Neal.


You're the kind of reckless
That should send me running
But I kinda know that I won't get far

"Emma, where have you been, when did you get back?" Emma inwardly cringed at the all too familiar voice, turning to give the owner her best fake smile. I'm going to kill you, Killian.

"Oh Katherine, it's so good to see you again," she took the other blonde's hands in her own and kissed the air beside each of her cheeks "I was away for a while, in New York actually." She spotted Killian making his way towards them through the crowd, amusement dancing in his blue eyes. If they weren't undercover she'd have hit him over the back of the head for dragging her into this complete cluster fuck.

"Katherine, I see you've met my fiancée Emma" Killian said she turned in surprise to him, Katherine on the other hand was making a high pitched noise that made Emma think of a squealing pig, it took her a moment to realised it was a sound of excitement so Emma forced a smiled and turned to Killian, making it look like she was brushing a kiss to his cheek, her lips brushed his ear.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She asked him, in a furious whisper, she hoped her smile didn't give away the churning of nerves in her stomach, they hadn't discussed this or made any plans that involved them being engaged much less in a relationship.

"Relax, have some fun." He leant down and placed a quick but firm kiss on her lips, pulling back to grin at Katherine.

Emma swallowed her surprise, her lips tingling. A part of her registered that Killian and Katherine had continued to talk but she was distracted, the kiss had sent blooming warmth straight from her lips to her chest and down to her toes. Emma bit her bottom lip, thoughts swirling through her head. She hadn't had a reaction like that to a kiss since Neal. What did that mean? Think about it you twit, you have this gorgeous man, who is obviously hot for you and yet you're too hung up on your old beau to do anything about it? Emma huffed at the voice, Shut up! She snapped at herself.

"Oh this is so exciting, I can't believe it! After everything you've been through too Killian!" Emma snapped out of her daze just in time to catch the glare that Killian sent towards Katherine, his entire posture stiffening. Oh, she was definitely going to ask him about that later. Katherine flustered under his glare and quickly excused herself.

"Enjoy the party you two, Oh look, there's Mary Margaret, I'd better go say hello. Excuse me" Emma raised her eyebrow and watched Katherine hurry off towards the short haired brunette. Emma snorted, Mary Margaret and Katherine definitely were not close and her quick departure towards the other woman made Emma all that more curious. What the hell had happened to Killian in the past ten years?

"So," she said, hesitating "Where's the bar?" Killian watched Katherine for another moment, a frown creasing his brow. He's posture was still tense and it worried her "Killian, the bar?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, love, over here" He lead Emma through the crowd, his hand on resting on her lower back. Emma wanted to ask about what had just occurred but considering where they were she had a feeling it would be best to wait until they were alone. Killian motioned for the bartender and ordered them both drinks, Emma watched him from the corner of her eye, a part of her understood she should leave the issue alone but she had to know if this thing whatever it was would impact on tonight. He'd already changed the plan by announcing to Katherine they were engaged, although the woman apparently was too daft to notice that Emma wasn't wearing a ring of any kind. It annoyed her that he was willing to change the plan without even consulting her. He knew she was supposed to try to charm Peter into taking her back to his place so she could search it, but now it was unlikely she'd ever get the chance. I'm going to fucking kill you she glared at him, a part of her wishing he could read her mind. Maybe then he'd get off his high horse and start working with her rather than against her. Emma downed her drink and motioned for the bartender, ordering another before turning to Killian with her drink in hand, the liquid confidence fuelling her resolve.

"So, tell me honey. What's the story?" She took a sip of her rum, enjoying the way it burned her throat and warmed her stomach as she waited for his reply. He finished his own rum in a single mouthful, motioning the bartender for another.

"Katherine and I were friends as kids, after I moved away from Storybrooke, we stopped talking and we didn't meet up again until recently. My firm works with her husband's, he's a partner" he said as if it explained everything. Emma raised her eyebrow, knowing full well he was deflecting but she didn't push him for anymore knowing it would shatter the fragile thing they had going. A fight in the middle of a party would likely draw the wrong kind of attention.

"Right well I'm off to mingle, and I guess now that we're engaged I can't do my real job and seduce the bastard" she muttered the last part as she turned away. Killian grabbed her arm and swung her back around into his embrace, his lips inches from her own. Emma stared at his mouth, the thought of their last kiss just minutes before lingering on her mind. No...No she did not want him to kiss her again. definitelynot.

"Well if you really must know I can't have other men with their hands all over you, it would drive me insane and that would be very bad, love" His breath smelt of rum, his lips bare centimetres from her own and Emma wondered what it would feel like to feel his lips ghosting across other parts of her body. She could feel the flush creeping up her neck to colour her cheeks, anticipation curling in her stomach. Killian smirked, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking "Now off you go" he said suddenly, turning her around and giving her a light shove, Emma almost lost her footing, shooting a glare over her shoulder "you've got work to do."

Emma left him at the bar, fuming at her own stupidity. She wasn't about to let him win and god knows she'd never let him inside her heart. This was lust, that's all, he didn't want anything more than to get in her pants. Emma felt her heart drop at the thought Oh no, don't you dare go falling for that man she told herself sternly. With a shake of her head she straightened her shoulders and walked over to a group of businessmen, smiling at them as she arrived, not one of them could look her in the eyes, and she felt my smile widen. Glad that something was going right for her at least once tonight. That's when her eyes landed on him, her smile fell from her face, Oh God no. He couldn't be here.

Emma spun on her heel and headed for the nearest door, it happened to lead to the balcony. No one was outside because it was absolutely freezing but Emma didn't care. She just had to get out. The door slammed shut behind her and she sucked in the cool air desperately, praying that he hadn't followed her outside.

"Hello, Emma" The mocking tone in his voice instantly made her feel like shit, She looked out over the ocean she'd loved since a child before she steeled herself to reply.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was weak and she hated it, a part of her knew she shouldn't have just walked out. At a party like this that kind of exit wasn't going to go unnoticed. In a small town like this it wouldn't go unnoticed either you fool she scolded herself.

"I'm here because my wife is here" Emma didn't need to turn around to know he was leaning against the wall where no one inside could see him, he'd always liked to keep their relationship a secret and she'd never really questioned why but that was before, when she was young and naive.

Emma took a deep breath and turned to face him. The sight of him was like a slap to the face. She smiled weakly at him, everything about him made her feel weak. She walked over to him, and he stiffened. Anger rolled off him in waves. She knew why, she couldn't exactly blame him either but it still hurt all the same.

"How is your wife going?" She asked, trying for nonchalant and failing miserably. The man scoffed, they both knew she didn't really care about his wife but he'd reply anyway. It was a game they played, pretending that they didn't still have feelings for one another, pretending that they didn't still hurt from her mistakes and decisions from all those years ago. Except it's only you who feels that way isn't it? He doesn't love you, he's married. He's moved on and you're still acting like a pathetic lost girl she scolded herself.

"She's fine, pregnant actually," Emma paled, feeling nauseous. See, she can give him something you couldn't, something you never can. Although she'd lost Neal years ago the man standing in front of her was still the man she had once loved more than anything else in the world, a man you still love she corrected herself. She'd felt something when they were together over a decade ago, and even now, after everything, a piece of it remained.

"Oh…" she was at a loss for words, pregnant. She was pregnant. Once upon a time they'd spoken of having kids. Hell they'd even managed one, that was why she'd run, that and the fact he had left her when she needed him most. "I'm happy for you Neal, really I am" it sounded fake even to her own ears. Neal's eyes narrowed and Emma recognised that look, fear churned her stomach and she retreated against the wall, Neal followed until her was towering over her.

"Neal, please…" Emma's voice quivered, and she hated it. She couldn't look him in the eye, not after everything they'd been through. She'd done too much to hurt him, he'd hurt her too much.

"Look at me Emma" He hissed, "Look. At. Me." she met his eyes but his face blurred, the memories and pain becoming too much to keep inside. She knew what he was going to do before he'd even moved, it was written all over his face.

"Neal, please don't" she begged, he ignored her though, stepping closer so their bodies were pressed together, knee to chest. His lips hovered over her own, if she stretched up just a little then their lips would brush…but she couldn't. He had a wife. He's married and not to you she reminded herself.

"I wish it was you" he murmured "Every day I look at her I wish it was you, I wish this child was ours" Emma couldn't control the pain. She gasped for breath, wishing the vice around her heart to loosen. His words were like a knife, cutting away at her heart causing more pain. How was it even possible, she didn't think she had enough of a heart left to break.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay. I…" He made a choking sound and she looked into his eyes, seeing the pain and distress she felt reflected back at her. Emma could feel their loss and in that second she forgot where they were, she forgot about his wife who was just inside, she forgot about her job and everything that was on the line. She forgot everything except for what they had once been.

His lips captured hers, hungry and fierce, Emma could feel his anger through the kiss and she wondered if he could feel her pain, her apologies. He bit her lip, shoving his tongue into her mouth, just as rough and unforgiving as he had been all those years ago, Emma could the taste the salt of her tears in the kiss. Neal's hands on her waist pulled her closer at the same time as he pushed her harder against the wall. She wrapped her arms around his neck desperately clasping him to her. Neal pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, both of them gasping for breath.

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway. It was like a bucket of ice water, reminding Emma of where they were, she turned to look into a pair of furious blue eyes. Oh shit.

"Killian, it's not…"Emma's voice trailed off, who was she kidding? It was exactly what it looked like.

"Mr. Cassidy your wife is looking for you" the way he said wife made it clear. He was reminding them both that Neal wasn't single, that he was in fact married.

"Oh God" the weight of what they had just done settled on Emma's shoulders, if she hadn't been against the wall she would have stepped away from Neal but he was still pressed against her, his thighs warm against her own. Emma swallowed, eyes closing in defeat as she took a deep breath.

"Neal, go back to your wife" She whispered "please" Emma was begging and they all knew it. Neal nodded stiffly, Killian grabbed Neal's arm as he passed him, for a second Emma was terrified they'd start a fight but Killian just smirked at him.

"Best get rid of the lipstick, mate. Or you wife's going to question what you've been doing" Killian glanced at Emma, the cold, detached look in his eyes breaking her heart, God what the hell was wrong with her?"or perhaps even who you've been doing" Neal scrubbed his hand across his mouth, removing the smudged lipstick, Emma felt sick to her stomach. She'd just been making out with a married man, she was a tramp, a home-wrecker. Oh god, he wasn't going to leave his wife was he?

"You'll speak nothing of this to anyone" Neal threatened, he leant in and muttered something to Killian that made his face pale and a muscle in his jaw twitch, but Emma was too far away to hear what was said. Most of her concentration was on staying upright, Neal glared at Killian as he left, the glass door snapping shut behind him. Emma's legs gave out at that moment and she was surprised when Killian caught her.

"You'll ruin your dress acting like that, love" he pulled her into his arms as she shook, the cold air of the night and shock of what had just happened finally settling in.

"I didn't think he'd be here" Killian sighed and took off his jacket, draping it around her shoulders before pulling her close again. How was he not repulsed by her? She expected him to leave straight after Neal, hadn't he said seeing another man with his hands on her would drive him mad? So why was he even here, she should disgust him, she disgusted herself. Neal was married for god's sake why was she always so goddamn stupid when it came to him? She let her eyes drift to the blue eyed man next to her. There was something about Killian that was a conundrum. One minute he was mad at her and the next he was looking after her, once he'd called her an open book and she'd thought the same about him. But staring at him now Emma realised that they'd become complete strangers. It hurt, almost as much as knowing Neal wanted her still but had still left and was still unwilling to fight for her.

Do you really want him to leave his wife and child for you though? The answer was simple though she never wanted anyone to feel the way she had when he left. She didn't think anyone deserved it, yet here she was acting like a home wrecker and slowly destroying someone else's happiness.

"Can we go?" Emma asked, so quietly she didn't think Killian would hear but he must have because he sighed and pulled her closer, placing a kiss to her hair.

"I think that's a good idea, love" he helped her stand and he turned her to face him. He stared into her eyes and they stood there in silence for a few minutes, Emma getting lost in the blue abyss that hovered in front of her. Killian gave her a sad smile, reaching out and running his thumb across her lips, Emma shivered, heat sparking across her skin.

When Killian touched her it felt different to when Neal did. She watched Killian wipe his hands on a handkerchief, before putting it away. Killian sparked heat but Neal burnt her, like she was standing to close to a fire. Before she could examine her thoughts much further. Killian was guiding her through the glass doors, nodding to guests and making excuses so they could make their escape. Emma could feel eyes on them so she smiled weakly and wrapped an arm around Killian, seeking his warmth. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow in question before wrapping his own arm around her, pulling her closer to his side. She felt herself calming, her strength returning as they made their way to the door. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? Warmth and strength rather than fear and longing? Emma shook herself mentally, she wasn't really with Killian. It was fake. This is all fake, she reminded herself and if her stomach dropped at the thought, she ignored it.

"Come on, love. Let's go home" Emma smiled, her heart definitely hadn't skipped a beat when Killian had said let's go home that would be foolish. It's fake, it's fake, it's fake she repeated the mantra all the way back to the hotel room, she repeated it as she showered, washing away the events of the night and she continued to repeat it right up until she crawled into the single bed across from Killian, drifting into an uneasy sleep.