A/N: Hey everyone! This story was inspired by the Zutara-Week (DeviantArt) prompt 'Fire Lady'. Basically, it's my idea of what life would look like if Katara became Zuko's wife. This little story is going to be a three-shot. My life is unbelievably busy right now, so I'll try to get the next two chapters out as fast as I can. Sorry for the typos. I'll fix them when I find them.
Heed the rating, as this is not a story for children…
The cover art for this fic was created by me. It's directly tied with the summary. Also, my official Zweek submission is on DeviantArt. To get to it, go to the website, type in 'SaberMay' and look for the drawing called 'Tease'.
Enjoy the chapter!
Hearts of Doubt
Chapter 1
...
Katara stretched out on the soft, silken sheets. She could feel the warm sun's morning rays across her back and it was pleasant enough that it almost put her back to sleep. The air felt calm as a light breeze blew in from the open window, bringing with it the fresh scent of morning dew and the chirping of birds. She smiled and reached her hand out. Today was going to be a good day.
When she met cold, smooth sheets instead of the warm skin she was expecting, she opened her eyes and her smile faded.
'Well, mostly a good day,' she thought.
Katara sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. A moment later, there was a knock on the door. After giving the person permission to enter, a young woman close to Katara's age stepped in and bowed respectfully.
"Good morning, my lady," she said, "I've come to ask if you would like your breakfast served here or in the dining hall."
"The dining hall, please," Katara said as she got out of bed.
"Do you require assistance in dressing?"
She gave the other woman the same answer she gave since day one. "No, thank you."
The lady-in-waiting nodded, then left the room, closing the door behind her. Still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Katara walked over to one of the windows facing the palace grounds. She pushed it open wider so she could more easily let the smell of flowers in.
They weren't lying when they said the Fire Nation's most beautiful time of year was now. The gardens were always charming year-round, but these few short weeks turned this place into a paradise. The sight of hundreds of pink blossoms blooming from every tree was a something no one could find anywhere in the world but right here, right now.
The view had her transfixed for a few minutes. She considered taking the day to simply sleep and relax in the shade of the trees, but her peaceful reverie didn't last long enough to decide.
Just like every other morning, her eyes inevitably drifted past the beautiful sight to another far beyond. The morning-lit ocean was as stunning as it always was, but she sighed and turned away when she found that, again, it lacked the large ship she was hoping would be there.
Trying to brush off the thought, and not wanting her mood to drop too low, she walked into the massive closet and picked through the abhorrently large collection of fine clothes. After deciding she could get away with a lighter outfit because of the warming weather, Katara picked out a thin, red and orange dress. She'd do anything to avoid wearing that thick, heavy, traditional drape unless she had to.
After that, she headed to the large vanity to wash up and work on her hair. Today, she chose gold beads to hold back her bangs and spent a little more time with styling than she normally did. Once satisfied with her appearance, she moved to start the part of her morning routine she was still not used to.
Slowly, her finger brushed over the golden-flamed crown as she stared at it. It was an heirloom passed down through ancient generations, and its worth was unimaginable. It had been worn by hundreds before her, and now it was hers.
With a frown, she fastened the crown to her top knot, then stared at her reflection again. It was amazing what a small piece of metal could do; the way it could make her feel like she was looking at someone different. It felt odd atop her head and she could always feel its weight throughout each day. It served as a constant reminder of the person she agreed to be.
Lately, the weight of it was all she could think about.
Almost like a whisper, memories of the past few months ran through her mind until one, in particular, took her attention entirely; one that was a nightmare amongst the rest.
She swallowed the nervous ball swelling in her throat as she closed her eyes, then shook her head to rid it of thoughts she did not want to think about. Now was not the time to start remembering that – those horrible weeks. That's what the lonely nights were for. Daytime was when she could get away from all the uncertainty and doubt.
Katara moved to stand up, but when her eyes opened, they peered right at the necklace fastened around her neck. It was clad in purple, blue, and hints of red design. It was the betrothal necklace that Zuko gave her for the sake of tradition. She reached up to touch it and could hear the words from her most trusted royal advisor.
"Purple is the rarest color in nature. You can travel the world and the times you see it will be few and far between. That's why many find it so beautiful."
He told her that not long ago when Katara was at one of her lowest points. When she was drowning in fear and heartache, the kind man took her to walk through the gardens as they were in the midst of spring blooming. He said it as an afterthought to her, but she suspected he was alluding to their situation. Blue and red coming together – something rare in this world, especially these days.
The words of comfort couldn't quite bring a smile to her right now, but she touched it and felt a little better. So long as this was around her, she could handle the weight of the golden flame in her hair. Without the necklace, it would surely fall to the ground and shatter.
She stood and headed for the door, but briefly glanced at the unmade bed. Usually, she fixed it up herself, much to the chagrin of the maids, but decided to leave it be this time. The unmade side stood out like a sore thumb, and she couldn't help but frown for the second time that morning.
Zuko's been gone for two and a half months with the days still counting. Everyone expected him back a week ago, but every other day they got more news of a delay. Hopefully, the news she wanted to hear would be waiting for her when she got to the hall.
She was tired of nights by herself. She was tired of that smoothed out bedside.
When she opened the door, four young women were standing to the side waiting for her.
"I've told you guys you don't need to wait outside every morning," Katara said as she walked out. They fell in line behind her. "I know my way to the hall."
They apologized and informed her that 'it was their duty to make sure she had everything she needed at all times.' Upon hearing that, Katara sighed and let it go, knowing this treatment was never going to change. This was the life of royalty, she reminded herself, and it wasn't their fault they acted this way.
Even though two of them were dressed in blue and had dark skin like her own, it didn't make Katara any less comfortable with being waited on all the time. This was another part of her new life she wasn't going to get used to.
As they walked through the halls, passing servants and others who made a point to stop and show her respect, the air was thick with tension. It was always like this with them. The four girls behind her, two in red and two in blue, did not like each other. They never once showed it in front of Katara, but rumors and her own two eyes let her know well enough they did not get along.
It was the same situation with most others around here.
When she first came here, her father sent a dozen people with her to help her adjust. Everyone from these girls behind her to wise advisors and even a cook for when she wanted a taste of her old home came to this palace. At the time, she thought it was just fatherly paranoia, but then came to realize how much she appreciated the fact that familiar faces she grew up with were here when she needed them.
There was a clear split for a long time. It was her people and their people. When they talked about each other, it was always 'them' and never 'us'. For a while, it seemed no one was going to get along; but time does strange things to people. Even those that were at war for a century.
It would be a long time before each of them was comfortable enough to call the others 'friends', but if one looked hard enough, things were starting to change. The glares were lessening, the contempt wasn't talked about as much anymore, and there may have been a friendly conversation or two going on daily recently.
Those things alone made Katara's days hear easier to manage.
As they approached the dining hall, there was a duo of blue and red standing outside the doors.
These two men were an exception to what was going on. The tribesman was the only Water Tribe foreign advisor they had and the other standing with him was a man whose family had a long history of advising the royal family. He, compared to the others, was kinder. He had an idealistic nature that he shared with current Fire Lord and, as a result, took to foreigners better than most.
These days, she saw these men hanging around each other a lot as they got along better than most. The one dressed in red was the very same man that offered her the advice in the garden a few weeks ago.
Once they spotted Katara's approach, they offered her a formal greeting. She smiled up at them while dismissing the girls behind her. Not having it in her to start with small talk, she skipped right to the point. "Have you heard anything?"
"We received another messenger hawk this morning," the man in red said as he dug through his pocket, "Honestly, I'm surprised the bird made here at all. It was soaking wet when it got to the scribe's tower."
"And?" she pressed.
He handed her a small scroll and she quickly read over it as he summarized the written words. "The weather is slowing them down, but they've made it past the outer islands."
"It doesn't say how much longer they'll be."
"With the hurricane, probably another week."
Just how many more weeks was it going to take? Katara sighed, frustrated, then handed the letter back.
"In fact, today marks the longest a Fire Lord has ever been away on political business that does not involve warfare. We'll have to note that in the history books."
The tribesman watched Katara's face critically as she stared off to the side with a deep frown, then said, "It's unfortunate he's been gone so long."
"It was necessary," she drawled.
"Very unfortunate, though," said the man in red, "Away handling one crisis while another raged here."
She glanced back at them when the tribesman nudged her arm and added, "And handle it you did. I don't think the Fire Lord himself could have done a better job."
"I didn't handle it all on my own. I couldn't have done it without both of you," she said.
"You don't give yourself enough credit, my lady. You are far more deserving than you think," said the man in red. "It was not our words that changed the minds of the people."
She decided not to add anything further. She was annoyed with them right now. That incident that kept her from going to the Earth Kingdom with Zuko was not something she considered a success, even if she was able to stop a rebellion from breaking out.
She stayed because she had to and only because Zuko could not be in two places at once. She walked into that mess head-first with unshakable determination, but she never expected it to turn out the way it did. The effect it had on her by the time she came back to this palace was not something she was prepared to deal with. Alone, to boot.
The only good thing that came from that was the slightly better treatment she received from the nobility surrounding her here. Many still saw her as an invader, with her dark skin and blue eyes, and with the war having ended only six years ago, people still had their grudges. After the crisis she took on settled down, most were starting to give her some genuine respect instead of the fake formalities.
However, the cost to earn it was too high in her opinion. She wouldn't do it again for the sake of gaining trust.
"You frown too much these days, Katara," said the tribesman.
"You know why," she said as she pictured the memory of Zuko's fleet leaving the harbor.
"Indeed, but perhaps I can lighten your mood today." He gestured to the side of them. "Go look out the window."
Katara gave him a quizzical look before walking up to the glass that was pouring in morning light. She immediately looked to the harbor in anticipation. The small twinge of hope disappeared when the water was still empty of the ships she wanted to see.
"Look to the northern port."
Katara got closer to the glass and squinted her eyes. A moment later, they widened and her mouth dropped when she recognized a small ship about to dock. She quickly turned back to the tribesman in surprise.
"They're here early," he said with a smile, "It's your brother."
Her face lit up instantly. The man in front of her was about to say something else, but he was cut off when Katara turned to run down the hall.
"Wait! They'll be escorted to the palace once they dock!"
She shook her head, not slowing her pace at all. She couldn't wait that long. Her brother, who she hadn't seen in what felt like a lifetime, was finally here! It may not be the person she wanted to see most, but she felt her days of waiting were finally given a break.
Curious looks were directed her way when the servants and others saw their Fire Lady nearly run down the halls to get to the palace doors, but Katara didn't notice them at all. She was too busy with the feeling of her chest swelling with excitement she could barely contain.
The carriage was still slowing down when Katara lost her patience and decided to get out anyway. She would have run down the entire mountain to get to the harbor if she weren't stopped by some others that insisted they escort her instead.
When she stepped to the ground, she finally noticed the tail of followers they picked up along the way. Behind the soldiers, a crowd of people peeked over to see what noble was hiding amongst the large escort. When they saw her face, voices raised as they turned to each other.
Out of habit, Katara slowed her frantic steps and straightened up a little, remembering her lessons on how royalty was expected to act in front of people. She was a bit nervous under all the stares until someone in the crowd smiled and waved at her. Slowly, others began to do the same.
Katara offered her own smile and waved at them for a moment before turning back to the direction she was headed. They must have sent word ahead of her because the entire section of the dock she was at was blocked off by soldiers. The Water Tribe ship had its last rope secured as Katara approached.
She looked eagerly between the many faces and greeted everyone that stepped off, but couldn't find the one she was looking for. Finally, behind a large crate being taken off, she spotted him. Sokka was halfway down the plank when he saw her and barely onto the ground when she attacked him with a hug.
"Woah, hey there," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. "Geez, I can hardly breathe. You act like we haven't seen each other in years."
After a moment, he dropped his arms to end the hug, but froze when Katara wouldn't budge. A little hesitant, he wrapped his arms around her again. She was stiff against his chest for a long minute, and, at some point, realized it was going on longer than normal. When she finally backed away, Sokka had a quizzical look ready for her.
"Are you crying?" he asked.
She smiled and wiped at her eyes. "I'm just happy to see you."
"The feeling's mutual," he said with a grin and wiped one of her tears away. "You ruined my plan."
"What plan?"
"I was going to greet you like the queen you are." He stepped back and straightened up. "Let's see. I forgot how this goes."
He bowed formally to her with a serious face, but when his head dipped, he glanced up at her with a humorous smile. Katara laughed at the display. He then stood upright and nudged her arm. "How have you been?"
For some reason, now of all times, she could feel the crown weighing down her topknot. She reached her hand up to adjust it, but it halted midair before slowly falling to her side again. She didn't realize she was standing there staring off blankly until Sokka cleared his throat. Her eyes darted back to his and she noticed her smile had disappeared.
"Great," she said in a quick, higher-pitch-than-usual voice. She put a smile back on and Sokka raised his eyebrow at her.
"Katara?" came a recognizable voice towards the ship's other plank.
Katara looked over in surprise to find Suki stepping onto the dock and wasted no time in giving her a hug as well. "Suki! I didn't know you were coming," she said.
"We wanted to surprise you." Sokka walked up next to them and slipped an arm around Suki's shoulders while giving her a big kiss on the cheek.
"I'm glad you're here early. Both of you."
For a few minutes, the trio chattered lightly about the long trip there as people continued to off-load supplies from the ship. Eventually, the Water Tribe advisor she ran from earlier walked up and greeted the three.
"Sokka, it's good to see you. How is your father?"
"Getting old," he said in amusement. "He wanted me to tell you hi, by the way."
The man nodded in return. "Come, I'm sure you'd like to get settled in after your long trip. We have rooms and a hot meal waiting at the palace."
"Good. I'm starving," said Sokka. He grabbed Suki's hand and headed towards the street.
"Wait! Where are you going?" asked Katara.
"To the palace? It's all the way up the mountain, isn't it?"
"We're not walking up there. We're taking this," Katara said as she walked over to the carriage she arrived in.
After looking curiously at her for a moment, they followed her in and sat down. Once he, Suki, Katara, and the advisor were in, the door was shut, and the large band of people around them started walking.
"Royal escort, huh?" asked Suki. "I didn't think it would take sixty people to get us to the palace."
"There's usually more," she said with amusement. When she looked to Sokka, he was busy staring at every nook and cranny in the carriage with a look of disbelief. "What is it?"
"I'm pretty sure our tribe doesn't own enough gold to buy a carriage like this," he said as he tapped the golden trimming next to him.
Katara just shrugged without comment. She could think of at least a hundred other things far more luxurious than what they were surrounded by. This, in comparison to most other things, was barely up to standards.
"So, you're here early," she said.
"Yeah, I figured there was no point in waiting. Also, since the Northern Tribe's going to be here early too, I didn't want to be the last ones to show."
"What? They're coming early?"
"Yeah," he said with a raised eyebrow. When Katara and the advisor next to her exchanged glances, Sokka dug through his pocket and pulled out a small scroll. He handed it to the advisor.
"It's true," said the advisor after scanning the words, "How like them not to tell us."
"That makes the third time they've done this," said Katara.
"You two don't look happy about it."
"It's not that, it's just what's going to happen when they get here," said Katara.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since I became Fire Lady, they've put a lot of pressure on me to work deals with them. They make it sound like I owe it to them since I'm Water Tribe."
"She's a political conquest to them," said the advisor.
"You never told me that," said Sokka.
"It wasn't a problem until Zuko left. I've technically been in charge since then, and they're trying to take advantage of it. I'm used to it at this point, though. I like the Northern Water Tribe, just not their ambassadors."
"I'm surprised, but I shouldn't be."
"Can't be helped at this point," said the advisor, "Can I keep this, Sokka?"
"Sure."
"We also left early to avoid the hurricane. We could see the edge of it when we were coming in," said Suki.
"Yeah," Katara sighed, "Zuko's stuck in it right now."
"You mean he's still gone?"
"Yep."
"Wow. I remember you told me about it in your letters. You've been married seven months and he's been gone for almost three of them."
Katara tried to smile reassuringly, but it was obviously forced, and she could tell that everyone picked up on it. So, she gave up and just looked to the side with a frown. Always one to try to lighten the mood, Sokka spoke up, "Speaking of which, how's the married life been? Aside from, you know, Zuko being in the Earth Kingdom to prevent another war."
Amazing, wonderful, everything she hoped for – those were words she came up with, but, like everyone knew, a good chunk of her marriage was spent alone. She had other words to describe what she was feeling these days, but chose to say none of them. She smiled again, this time, flawlessly hiding the fact that she was lying. "It's been great."
"Katara has done a lot of good for this nation since she took on the role of Fire Lady," said the advisor.
"I've heard a few things," said Sokka.
Suddenly, they heard shouting outside in the street. When they turned to look out the window, there were people standing behind the soldiers waving at them with big smiles on their faces. Katara smiled and waved back.
"Look at them," said Suki, "Do they know you're in here?"
Katara nodded.
"They look like they adore you. Don't take this the wrong way, but I wasn't expecting to see this."
"What were you expecting?" asked the advisor.
"The same things we saw the wedding day; riots, yelling, angry crowds."
"A lot has changed in seven months. Many still feel the same as they did since Zuko took her as his wife, but not everyone. She's still working on the higher class and nobility, but she's won the hearts of the common people."
"How?"
Katara managed a small smile as the advisor answered, "By doing something no other Fire Lady has ever done in the past."
"What-" Sokka started before he was interrupted. A knock on one of the windows made them all turn. The advisor opened it up slightly to find a messenger.
"My apologies, my lady. I did not mean to disturb, but regarding…"
He asked various questions about the visitors, the cargo they brought, and a handful of other unrelated things. The topic before was brushed aside, and, when the messenger left, they eventually got onto other things until they finally arrived at the palace grounds after a long ride through the city streets.
With the help of many servants, all of the visitor's things were carried in. Katara personally escorted all of them through the massive, luxurious palace for a brief tour then lead them to the rooms they were to stay in. Feeling excited with so many familiar faces around her, she didn't want to leave and wait till dinner to see them again. Instead, she decided to spend a little extra time with Suki to help her unpack for their three week stay.
The amount of relief Katara felt was indescribable as they chattered about everything from the Kyoshi warriors, the south pole, time spent apart, even small things like Suki's longer hair. She had friends here, but none like Suki. There wasn't even the slightest expectation to act like royalty in front of her, and Katara loosened up more than she had in what felt like months.
"I love your dress, by the way," Suki said as she put the last handful of clothes into the dresser.
Katara was cross-legged on the bed staring off into space when Suki spoke. She looked down at the fine material covering her.
"Oh, this? Thank you." Katara toyed with the hem for a moment. "Would you believe me if I told you this was considered casual?"
"Maybe not if you asked me an hour ago, but after seeing the rest of this place, I believe you."
"Didn't you notice any of this the last time you were here?" Katara eyed the décor surrounding the room.
"Yeah, I noticed, but I don't think I could ever get used to seeing this kind of luxury."
"You and me both," Katara giggled then eyed her with a raised eyebrow, "You want to see the rest of my clothes?"
Suki tapped her chin the smiled. "Why not?"
Katara jumped from the bed, suddenly feeling oddly giddy. After making sure she was completely settled in, she led Suki through the halls until they got to the royal family's personal wing. When she stepped into her bedroom, she grabbed Suki's hand and brought her to the closet. Her mouth dropped open in shock at how packed it was. Katara lightly laughed, completely expecting that reaction.
After commenting that she'd never be able to wear the same outfit twice for the rest of her life, Katara had an idea and reached out to one of the hanging dresses. "Want to wear one like mine?"
"You mean to wear around here?"
"Of course."
"I never took you one for playing dress up."
"I'm not, really, but indulge me. I never get to do stuff like this."
After a moment of debate, Suki agreed and Katara felt like she was a teenager all over again. Suki chose an outfit similar to Katara's, but with different colors, and helped her dress. They spent awhile staring at their reflections and eventually Suki agreed to let her fix up her hair a little. As the both of them got lost in elated conversation, Katara knew they were going to be late to dinner, but she was having so much fun that she completely lost track of time.
"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?" Sokka asked with wide eyes as Suki and Katara approached the dinner table. His eyes were glued to Suki's figure.
Suki smiled at his question before she was wrapped up in a hug and given a quick smooch. Katara almost laughed at the display. They were surrounded by the rest of the people that came on the voyage with them as well as a few Fire Nation dignitaries, yet none of that seemed to matter to Sokka. He threw formality to the wind whenever he was around Suki.
Now the center of attention, Katara spent a few minutes receiving greetings and well wishes. When the food was brought out, she took her usual spot on one of the cushions as others did the same. Instead of sitting in the grand dining hall, they chose to setup outside in the gardens among the ponds and flowering trees for dinner. Coupled with the sun starting to set, the view was both stunning and peaceful.
As they ate, many conversations went on around the table. People laughed with each other, discussed political topics, and so much more. Katara remarked humorously to herself how the red and blue surrounding her all seemed to get along. She didn't really care if some of them may have been behaving cordially just to please her. She gladly accepted the friendly atmosphere.
Despite her good mood, she hardly uttered a word unless spoken to, yet the smile on her face never wavered. She was too busy staring at each familiar face trying to burn the scene into her memory. La knows she lacked this kind of calm feeling these days.
Katara sighed contently and rested her head in her hand leaning against the table. This, right here in front of her, surrounded by family and friends, was what she so desperately needed.
All good things had to come to an end. Dinner eventually ended and people began to stand up. One by one, they formally bid her good night as they took their leave. When the sky was a deep pink fading into purple, all that was left was her, Sokka, Suki, and the two advisors she got along with the best.
"I don't want the night to end," said Suki.
"Me neither," said Katara, "Here, follow me."
Instead of walking into the palace for the night, she headed over to the open pavilion and sat down on the plush seats to enjoy the rest of the sunset. The others followed her and relaxed as they spread out. As they conversed, the advisor in red poured a glass of tea for each of them.
"Well, it's official," said Sokka, "You've hit the 'stinking rich' tier."
"I'm honored," she said sarcastically.
"Seriously, though, I expect a gold boomerang for my next birthday present."
"I can do that," she said with a smug little smile. "It's too bad you'll have to wait a whole year for it."
"Okay, then, how about a wedding present?"
Katara froze with the glass against her lips. She lowered it as she looked between a grinning Sokka and Suki with wide eyes and immediately caught on to what he was referring to. She always knew this day would come, but the two of them put off making a commitment year after year that it seemed it was still far off in the future. "Really?" she asked, excited.
"We're going to make it official once we get back. We wanted you to be the first to know," said Suki.
"You mean you haven't told anyone else?"
Suki nodded. For some reason, that made Katara very emotional. For the second time that day, tears gathered in her eyes. She jumped up and gave them both long hugs again. The two advisors congratulated them as well.
Instead of sitting back down in her spot, Katara sat right next to Suki as she told her the story of his proposal and gave her all the details. Katara asked endless questions to her future sister-in-law, unable to stop. Suki eventually pulled out the betrothal necklace he made for her. Like her own, it had elements of the place Suki grew up mixed in with the traditional blue. After about a half hour, Sokka finally stopped their chattering. "Okay, okay, we can talk about this later. We barely have anything planned yet."
"You're getting married! Why wouldn't you want to talk about it?!"
"I'd rather talk about you right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I haven't seen you in months and you disappeared with Suki all afternoon doing who knows what. I'd like to catch up, you know?"
"Okay, fine, but this conversation isn't over," she told Suki with determination. With the topic ended, Katara leaned into the cushion behind her and took another sip of her tea. "What do you want to know?"
"For one, I want to know what you," Sokka said as he gestured to the Water Tribe advisor, "were talking about on our way up here."
"Pardon?" asked the man.
"You said Katara was doing something different that Fire Ladies in the past haven't done."
"Ah, that."
The advisor in red spoke up. "Katara is unique compared to the usual royalty that's lived in this palace. My family has advised the royal family for generations and none have been as unique as her. Instead of spending her time in the palace, she's constantly going to the healing houses in the city."
"I want to help. I can't do it if I'm here all day," she said defensively.
"You should have seen the panic that caused the first few times she left for it," said the man in blue.
"Why would it cause a panic?" asked Suki.
The Fire Nation advisor continued, "The class divisions in the Fire Nation are nearly on par with Ba Sing Se's. You have to understand that it is highly unusual for royalty to interact with common people on a daily basis. For Katara to visit the healing houses with the sick as often as she has is unheard of. I myself was surprised when I heard she was going to such places."
"That's definitely something you would do," Sokka said with a small smile then added sarcastically, "I bet you snuck out a few times to do it."
"I did, actually," she said to his surprise, "They tried to tell me no, so I went when they weren't looking. I don't like sitting here all day going through scrolls and getting my hair combed."
"Definitely you," Sokka repeated.
"They eventually let her go because, well, she is the Fire Lady, and no one can really tell her what to do," the advisor continued, "The people hear what she is doing and see her every day using her waterbending to heal the sick; those that are often overlooked in society. The common people's rejection of her is turning to acceptance."
"I don't do it for other's approval."
"I know. I believed that's what your motive was when you first started, but then I realized the truth."
"Which is?"
"That's just who you are."
"How have they taken to a Fire Lady that can waterbend?"
"The nobility is having a hard time with it," she muttered.
"Let me guess," said Sokka. "Besides the whole foreign queen thing, they're worried your kids are going to be waterbenders."
"Exactly," said the advisor.
"You know, I heard a rumor once that it's whoever's in charge in the bedroom that determines the type of bending for the kids."
Katara choked on her last sip of tea and set the cup down a little harshly as she coughed.
"You're blushing," said Sokka.
Without realizing it, Katara's hand darted up to her cheek. "I am not."
"You are too. Come on, Katara, you're still going to act like that even though you and Zuko have been doing the deed for months now?"
"Probably longer," Suki added then sipped her tea.
It was one thing to let her brother tease her like this when they were alone. It was entirely different when she was sitting right next to two respectable royal advisors who, mind her, were both staring at her blankly.
"We're changing the subject now."
"Hey Suki, you've got earthbending ancestors in your family history, right?" Sokka asked slyly as he bobbed his eyebrows.
She smiled mischievously. "Right."
"Anyway," Katara quickly cut in, "so, uh-"
She had no idea what to say. Her blush worsened as people in the group stared at her with those knowing eyes. Suki finally took pity on her and changed the subject. "That aside, I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"You didn't talk about the rebellion much in your letters. What happened, exactly?"
Katara suddenly felt her blood run cold and her light smile disappear. She barely noticed Sokka had the same reaction. His smile vanished and he looked to Suki with a brief, critical look. Katara looked off to the side of her as memories she something wished would disappear filled her attention.
"Katara?" Suki asked when she did not respond.
The advisor in red quickly spoke instead. "There were a few cities towards the south that joined together and declared their intention to rebel from the monarchy. We knew it was coming, but it happened at an unfortunate time."
"When Zuko left?"
"Yes, right before he left. It was more important to stop another world war from breaking out than go south to the cities. Katara chose to stay behind to help handle it. It took us weeks and the intimidation of a small army to get them to surrender."
"A fight broke out?"
"Yes, but it could have been much worse if not for Katara. She managed to persuade some of the nobility to surrender before bloodshed occurred. By law, rebellions are not tolerated in the Fire Nation, and there is very little room for negotiation. It's either surrender, or die."
"Those are high stakes."
"Yes, they are. The cities would have been run-down if not for Katara's words."
"It wasn't as simple as that," Katara snapped with a frown.
Suki looked at her in surprise hearing her harsh tone. The advisor fidgeted slightly and hesitated. "No, it wasn't," he agreed, "but in the end, what matters is that it never made it to drastic measures."
There was thick tension in the air and Suki didn't say any more on the topic. They moved onto other things, but Katara was no longer listening. Strangely, Sokka wasn't either. His face was still rigid and if he wasn't looking at Katara, he was staring off to the side as well. Suki took to talking with the advisors instead.
When the sunlight was completely gone from the sky and the stars shined above them, the tribesman finally stood up. "I think it's time we should all retire for the night. There's a lot to do tomorrow morning."
All of them agreed except for Sokka. As they started to stand, he looked to Katara. "Hold on. I want to talk to you."
He still wasn't smiling and looked at her critically. "Alone," he added.
Katara furrowed her brow in confusion and looked to the other three. "Okay?" she said as she sat back down.
With hesitant looks, the two advisors and Suki, who didn't seem to be bothered by Sokka's request, took their leave. When the sliding door was shut and they were alone, Katara waited for him to say something, but he was quiet and the only thing she could hear was the swaying of the trees and crickets.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she finally asked.
"I thought Zuko would be back weeks ago."
This was what he was giving her that look for? Katara eyed him suspiciously. "Like I already said, he was supposed to, but things got worse the longer he was there."
"But they reached a settlement a month ago," he stated.
"They did."
"That second war that almost broke out - you know that's why we're here, right? It's why the north is coming, too."
"I know, but now that it's been cleared up, I don't know what we'll be discussing."
Sokka tapped his foot against the ground and looked away a little disgruntled. "Sokka, I don't know where you're going with this. Do you want to know more about Zuko's peace settlement?"
"No, I don't."
"Then what is it?"
"Forget I said that. It's not what I want to talk to you about."
"Okay, spit it out then," she nearly yelled, losing her patience.
"Why didn't you go to the Earth Kingdom?"
"The rebellion-"
"I know," he interrupted, "but that was two months ago. Why didn't you go after it ended?"
Katara blinked a few times in response then frowned and looked away. "It wasn't put down in one night, Sokka. I couldn't leave."
"You should have," he said, then added in a lower voice, "Or you should have come to the south pole."
"What are you talking about? Why are you acting like this?"
He looked away and sighed and tension-filled moments passed by them. He was being far too quiet for Katara's tastes. "I heard what happened, Katara."
She looked into his watchful eyes a second later. She was about to demand what he meant by that, but the unspoken words that passed between them let her know well enough what he was talking about. She had no idea how, but she could see it in his eyes; the secret she kept for all these weeks. Somehow, he knew.
The blood drained from her face. "Who told you?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does-"
"No, it doesn't."
At his raised voice, Katara shut her mouth and looked away, feeling completely suffocated in the look he was giving her.
"What were you thinking? You should have gone with Zuko the moment it was over. You should have told me, Suki, dad – anyone."
"I couldn't."
"No, I'm not okay with that answer. You should have come home."
"This is my home," she whispered.
That response seemed to hit a chord in him. He blinked at her before his face turned slightly apologetic. "I know," he sighed. He fidgeted with his hand again for a moment. Katara wasn't looking at him, but she could feel the questions in the air; questions she did not want to answer right now.
"Does Zuko know?"
Once again, tears gathered in her eyes. "No."
"I was pretty upset with him for staying away all this time, but if you haven't even told him, I don't know what to think anymore." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why haven't you told anyone?"
She didn't answer.
"Wait, you've got to be kidding me. You didn't tell him because you knew he'd come back in the middle of all that, didn't you?"
"Maybe I did," she said with a faltered voice, "I'm tired of war. If me keeping that secret was what it took to keep him there and negotiating, then so be it."
The fire in his eyes disappeared and was replaced with sadness and hurt. "Katara, you're not isolated here-"
"Please stop," she interrupted.
To her surprise, he did.
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"I think you need to."
He didn't understand. Deep down she knew she needed a shoulder to cry on, but right now she couldn't handle it. She needed to leave, soon, before she completely broke down. This secret – the thing that haunted her dreams for a long time now – wasn't supposed to be anyone's business but her own.
Katara stood up and turned away from him. "I said I don't want to."
Sokka jumped to his feet. "Wait. I'm worried about you. You've never shut me out like this before," he said as he grabbed her arm.
"Let me go, Sokka."
He didn't at first, but then his fingers slowly loosened enough for her to pull away. Without another glance at him, she walked towards the palace doors. "Goodnight," she muttered.
The air behind her was quiet when she slid the door shut.
The happiness she felt all day long was sapped from her and no amount of happy memories could console her right now. Fighting against the lump in her throat, she felt numb the entire walk to her bedroom. She pulled her clothes off in a stream on the floor as she walked to the large, empty bed. The last thing she pulled off was the golden crown. She heard it tumble across the ground as it slipped from her fingers.
Tonight, it was especially painful to climb into the cold sheets.
When her head finally rested in the pillow, the tears and weeks of emotion she kept back finally broke through. She cried for hours haunted by the fact that, in her darkest hours, she was completely and utterly alone. Even now, with her family only a minute's walk from where she was, she felt so alone.
Rest did not come easily to her that night. When she was empty of tears, she tossed and turned fitfully as she waited impatiently for sleep to give her some peace. After pleading for hours, her eyes finally started to droop in the early morning light, but the relief was short-lived. She wondered if sleep came to her all as the familiar feel of the sun's morning rays crept up her skin.
The busy sounds of the palace coming to life reached her ears at one point, but her thoughts were elsewhere. She felt lost in the space of her mind, and resigned herself to stay in that bed all day long. She didn't want to be the Fire Lady today, she didn't want to go around and visit with people, she didn't want to eat, and a very small part of her didn't even want to breathe.
The only thing that could have willed her to open her eyes in that moment sounded far off through the outside air, but close enough that she knew exactly what it was. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the unique arrival horns blaring in the distance. Her tired eyes widened and looked to the window.
The Fire Lord had returned.
A/N: Don't jump to conclusions about what's going on with Katara just yet. Wait until the next chapter before making judgments.
Care to share your thoughts? Excited for more? Have any theories on the secret Katara is keeping?
Until next time!
