Now I know

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters.


"Why are you marrying him?" I ask, desperation tearing through my voice.

"We are not having this conversation again, Sev." Lily sighs. "Please, just promise you'll come to the wedding. It would mean a lot to me. Really."

How can she ask this of me? Does she not know how I feel? Does she not know that this would kill me? Does she not understand? Of course she doesn't. No one can understand what I feel, for I can not understand it myself.

"You know I can't do that." I reply grimly, swallowing hard.

Much to my surprise, Lily suddenly cracks. Her eyes fill with glistening silver tears that cause a sharp pain in my heart, knowing that I had caused them. "Fine then. Don't come. It is going to be the best day of my life whether you are there or not. I just thought that despite everything that has happened in the past, despite all of our differences, that we were still friends. Clearly I was wrong."

And with that she storms off, leaving me with nothing but a pearl white invitation and an ache in my chest.


I am sitting in the back row of Lily and James' wedding in my glistening silver chair feeling more out of place than ever. With my hands placed lightly in my lap and my heart beating loudly, I stare past the rows of heads to the brown haired boy at the front of the tent.

His usually messy hair is surprisingly neat as he stands beside Sirius Black. Even though it kills me, he looks astoundingly happy.

Suddenly, the most delightful music fills the tent. So Lily.

Turning around, my eyes are met with the most perfect girl on the world. I take no notice of what she is wearing or what her hair looks like. All I know is that she has the most amazing smile on her face and that she has never looked so beautiful. Her eyes meet mine just for a second and she mouths the word 'thank you'. A smile grows on my bewildered face.

But then she rounds the corner to walk down the aisle and her face lights up to a whole new level. I can see the look in her eyes as her eyes meet those of the man standing at the altar. And that is when I realise that they are truly meant for each other. I realise that as much as I might hate him, James Potter is the only person for Lily Evans.

We are then seated, and I stare longingly at the couple. I feel a tear run down my cheek, wishing that Lily could love me as much as she loves James. My heart begins to break because now I know that it will never happen.

"And do you promise to love and protect Lily as long as you shall live?" Spoke a deep voice as I came back to focus.

"Always." James says, not lifting his vibrant gaze from Lily.

"Always." I mutter under my breath, making a promise to myself love Lily for the rest of my life and never hurt her again.