inspired by the COMING UP trailer.

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melting heart
there's no one in this world


She's hiding in the ladies toilet, well not hiding but trying to disappear from the team. She's leant on the sink thinking of Grace, her seven year old daughter. Her daughter's hard work at times, her temper-tantrums and her back chat remind Connie of a younger her but it doesn't make it easier when they're fighting each other.

At first she put it down to hormones but now she wasn't too sure. Was it the way she tried to raise her daughter that had caused a build up of anger inside? Anger she could only direct at her mother, at Connie.

Being expelled from one school at seven Connie could deal with, being excluded from the other and causing the nanny to leave was a new problem all together. She really didn't know what to do anymore, would it have been kinder to let Grace die when she was younger instead of been dragged up by Connie who really wasn't mother material?

She sighed.

She sighed again feeling tears pool in her eyes.

She wasn't going to cry, she couldn't. She was Connie, the cold-hearted one who didn't show emotion to anything; so why did her daughter bring out the emotional side to her, a side nobody knew existed?

She heard the door of the toilets open and turned her head to the side, her eyes fell upon Zoe.

Connie smiled slightly. She couldn't go as far as calling Zoe a friend because they weren't, not actual friends anyway. Zoe stepped towards her and then nothing was spoken between them. Connie wondered how Zoe knew she'd be in here — hiding.

"How did you know I was in here?"

"You weren't in your office," she replied back to Connie's question and then silence followed. This continued for a couple of minutes until Zoe broke the ever growing silence between them, "I get the feeling you didn't call me back for the team, you called me back for you."

Connie didn't even attempt to lie because it was partially true Connie did bring Zoe back for her, even though they weren't friends Connie needed someone. She needed someone that wasn't going to judge her or hate her.

She sighed.

There was silence. Then she answered, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly that, I don't know what I'm doing anymore," there was a pause before she elaborated, "this job, with Grace. I'm not doing anything right."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's obvious," she bit down on her lower lip, "everyone hates me here, Grace hates me, she tells me enough times. I just—"

Connie stopped talking, a tear fall from the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek. She wiped the tear away quickly hoping Zoe hadn't noticed, this side wasn't something people saw often. If she was going to cry she'd do it somewhere private, no chance of anyone finding her.

Zoe wasn't sure what to do. The atmosphere didn't feel awkward but Connie wasn't your ordinary person to shed emotion, the ice queen had cracked, the vulnerability Connie tried to hide was coming through.

"You won't understand," Connie began. It was true Zoe couldn't ever understand the pain that came with trying to raise a daughter who seemed to continue to chip away at the confidence Connie had, not to mention her self-esteem.

"You're right I don't and I never will," Zoe replied with a small sigh. She'd finally come to terms with her infertility, accepting that it made her who she was and she couldn't change the fact she couldn't have a child biologically, "it doesn't stop me trying to understand though."

"I love Grace I really do. I'm just not sure how much longer I can deal with her and that makes me sound like a terrible mother doesn't it? Grace is chipping away at me, inside of me and bringing out sides of my personality I never knew existed."

Another tear rolled down Connie's cheek, "She's seven Zoe, seven and she's been expelled from one school for bad behaviour. I don't know what to do anymore, is she the way she is because of me? Something I've done wrong?"

There was a pause before she continued, "As for bringing you back, I brought you back for the team. They don't need me Zoe, it's you they need. You're the one who holds them together when things go wrong. I'm just the person who's dividing the team, fracturing it. They need you Zoe, they don't need me."

She sniffed and wiped away another tear.

Zoe replied with a gentle sigh, "This team needs you just as much as it needs me. As for Grace you need help, both of you. You're trying to cope with this on your own and its not working Connie, you need to acknowledge it before you completely fall to pieces."

Connie laughed slightly and wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks, "more than what I already have?"

"We all have a limit Connie, you've just gone past yours." Their eyes met briefly and both of them smiled, "I'll leave you to sort yourself out."

Zoe turned around and began to walk towards the door. As she placed her hand on the door handle Connie called her name, "Zoe?"

She glanced back as Connie replied, "thank you."

Zoe smiled, walked out of the bathroom leaving Connie wondering how her and Grace moved on from this. Was it possible that with the right help they could move forward and Connie could return to being the ice queen everyone knew her as.


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