Chapter One - Night Terrors
"Stay back!" My whole body was shaking, but I was too focused to let it bother me. My instincts were just telling me to protect him, no matter what. "Stay away from him." They were approaching, and I screamed. "Stay back!" One lonely soldier continued to venture forwards, and I felt my jaw clench in anger, fingers gripping the sword in my hand even tighter.
"Rose," the soldier had an oddly familiar voice, and I found it irritatingly soothing. "Drop the sword." He took another step forwards, and I felt my hands shake with the pressure I was forcing on the sword.
"Get away from us." My voice was shaking, and I knew that I was on the verge of deliria. Everything hurt, and despite the want to just collapse on the floor, the voices in my head were telling me to not give up.
"Rose," the Russian accent broke through to me, and I blinked several times as I took in my surroundings - really took in my surroundings. Dimitri was stood there, a hesitant hand outstretched towards me as he looked down on me. "It's okay." Was it? It didn't feel okay. "Everything's going to be okay. You can let go of the sword."
I looked down at the blade in my hand, seeing the hilt shake within my palm. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the painstakingly familiar mop of red hair that I loved so much. I swallowed to choke back the tears, shaking my head. "I can't. I can't leave him alone, I have to protect him." A lone tear escaped down my cheek, and I closed my eyes to hold the rest back.
"You have." As if those words changed everything, my body let go. I felt as if everything was in slow motion as the sword dropped to the floor, bouncing several times on the ground before resting at a standstill. Almost immediately, I followed, my legs finally giving up on me. I couldn't hear the scream that erupted from me, but I could feel the pain resonating in my throat as the tears came without force. Strong arms encircled themselves around me, but all I could do was cry, the sounds of more familiar voices around me being drowned out by my sobs...
My eyes darted wide open almost instantly, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I spluttered as I tried to breathe, my breaths coming shallowly as a way to calm my body down. I recognised my small box-room at the Academy almost instantly, and I felt a wave of relief flush over me. It was just a dream. I told myself, closing my eyes as I focused on my breathing. Just a dream. I could feel the pillow beneath my cheek was soaked, and my arms were almost crushing against my chest as I desperately hugged myself, almost a way of my subconscious physically holding me together.
Once I was certain that my breathing had gone back to normal, I slugged myself up into a sitting position and looked over at the digital clock on the side of my bed. It read 5.30pm, half an hour before I usually woke up on a school day. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep without having a repeat of that nightmare, and so my only other option was to actually be on time for my morning training lesson. First time ever, I noted as I threw the heavy covers off my sweat-covered body.
I grabbed my toiletries and some fresh clothes before heading over to the shared female Dhampir shower room. The good thing about being the only one awake at such atrocious hours of the morning was that there was nobody there in the showers to disturb you - not that there were many female Dhampir's to disturb you, but that was a different matter.
The scolding hot water was not unwelcomed as I stood underneath the shower head, at first just reveling in the feel of it against my front. I sighed in contentment as I felt the horrors of the night almost completely wash off me, turning to wash my hair once I was ready. I then dried myself, before changing into my favourite compression pants that had a galaxy pattern at the ankle, and a black sports bra with a red trim and a hole in the centre of the back. As I looked into the mirror, I lifted a hand to the back of my neck and scratched idly at the skin there, where I knew two seemingly insignificant tattoos sat. Mason's molnija, I told myself as I threw my hair up into a tight high pony tail. After the nightmare I was feeling oddly sentimental, and although I knew I'd only be seeing Dimitri, I wanted them on display.
I finished up by brushing my teeth before heading back into my dorm, throwing my toiletries on the bed before grabbing a black jacket to go over the top of my sportswear. It was still the middle of winter, and I wasn't prepared to go train with chattering teeth. I then took my usual duffel bag full of fresh clothes, water bottles, towels, and other training necessities, slinging it over my shoulder. It was almost 6pm when I grabbed my usual lip gloss and my phone from next to my bed, heading out to meet my mentor-turned-friends-without-benefits-sort-of-Russian-God in the gym.
Given that it was mid January, the sun had already set, but I knew the Moroi and most of the Dhampir's wouldn't be awake for at least another hour and a half yet. Walking across campus to the gym was a silent yet quick affair, arriving to my destination promptly on time.
Dimitri was already there and appeared to be setting up several pieces of equipment, from punching bags to faux stakes. He looked up at the sound of my presence, and I was delighted to see a flash of surprise cross his face as he took in my appearance. "Rose, you're on time for once." He sounded equally as stunned as he looked, and I grinned cockily as I made my way over to the benches at the side to toss my duffel bag down.
"Thought I'd shake things up for once, Comrade." I joked, turning to face him with my hands sassily on my hips. "Keep you on your toes."
Dimitri chuckled with a nod, placing a box of something down at one end of the gym before heading to wear I was stood. "You're definitely successful at doing that, Vspyl'chivvy." I tilted my head with a curious look at the Russian, but he just gave me a knowing look, clearly not going to tell me what he said. "Since it's our first training session since we've been back, I thought we could start off with some lines today instead of our usual run around the track. It's still pretty cold out there, and there's a chance of snow. I suspect it will be much of the same until the end of February."
I was more than happy to spend the entire time inside the gym, the short walk over telling me more than plainly that it was too cold outside. I nodded in agreement as I shrugged my jacket off while Dimitri went to turn some music on from his phone through the loud speakers, his typical 80s-workout tracks coming through almost instantly.
As we worked out together, I couldn't help but feel like he was going soft on me. His gaze was constantly on me when I worked alone on weights or with a dummy, and it was evident in our sparring that he wasn't hitting to his full potential like he usually did. Ten minutes into our usual sparring I felt the frustration building up inside, suddenly wanting to get this fight over and done with.
I'd been working on a lot of low hits against Dimitri and thus his guard was dominantly focusing on that, and as expected he wasn't anticipating the aerial kick to his right shoulder. It knocked him flat on the ground and I quickly lunged forwards so my knee was placed in the centre of his stomach to hold him down, simulating a stake thrust to the centre of his chest. "Dead." I mumbled with barely any emotion, almost instantly throwing myself off him to stand and head to my work out bag for a drink of water.
Again, I could feel Dimitri watching me from behind as I took a sip from my water bottle, and I sighed before turning to face him. He had a scrutinising expression as his eyes met mine, and I arched a challenging eyebrow. "Did I do something wrong?"
"What's on your mind?" His answering a question with another question was something he always did when I was being the bitchy seventeen year old, and I realised that I was taking my anger out on him when realistically he didn't do anything to me.
I shook my head and sat down on the bench next to my bag, letting my head flop back against the wall behind me. "It's not like you to go easy on me." I pointed out, evasively skirting his own question like he had mine.
"Well, the moment you actually turned up to training on time was the moment I know something was up." He clarified as he came to sit next to me, folding his hands over each other as he looked at me from the side. "I didn't think it would be right of me to give my full power when you weren't giving yours."
We were silent for a moment as I took in his words, noting how caring he was being with me as he always was, even in Guardian-mentor mode. It's something I loved most about him.
"He wouldn't want this of you, you know." As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, and knew exactly what I needed to hear to make me feel better. It would be obvious to anyone that I was beating myself up over what happened at Spokane, but only the few knew the full extent of it.
"He should be here to tell me that himself." I whispered, not trusting my voice not to waver if I spoke any louder. "But he's not. And it's my fault."
"Roza," I shivered involuntarily at the name he reserved for private moments, not expecting him to say it in the middle of the school gym of all places. "You cannot blame yourself for what happened that night. I won't let you blame yourself. You paid the price of Mason's death when you made your first two kills, and the subsequent nightmares that happened after."
For a week after Spokane, I barely slept at all from the night terrors that woke me just minutes after falling asleep. Sometimes they were visions of seeing Mason's death, the last linger of life in his eyes being taken away from him. Sometimes they were of the animalistic rage I broke into as I killed the two ancients, vengeful for my bestfriend's death. Sometimes I even feared what would have happened had Dimitri not been the one to approach me after everything happened, wondering if I could have lashed out and attacked them through my anger and sadness.
I turned to look towards Dimitri, seeing his soft gaze was once again resting on me. "You know, that's the first time you've called me Roza since we returned from the ski lodge." I told him with a small smile, the expression on his face showing that clearly that point did not escape his notice either. "I like hearing you call me Roza." My body was being pulled to his as I whispered my words, not even realising that it was doing so as my own gaze lingered on his lips. I could see the desperation in his eyes as he looked at my own.
"Roza," our lips were almost touching as I heard the hesitancy in his voice, and I closed my eyes sadly as I realised what he was saying through just one word. I pressed my lips into a tight line and nodded, pulling away reluctantly while he stayed in the same place with his own eyes closed.
We sat like that for an immeasurable amount of time, before I allowed myself a glimpse at the clock hanging above the entrance to the gym. It was almost 8.30pm, the time we usually finished our morning sessions. I sighed as I forced myself to my feet, knowing I had just enough time to shower and change before meeting my friends in the cafeteria for breakfast at 9.
Dimitri also rose to his feet, and I noticed he had his Guardian mask back on as he begun moving training equipment back to where they are usually stored. I waited for a few minutes to see if he would say anything further, and when he didn't I decided it was a lost cause.
I was almost at the entrance of the gym when I felt something familiar capture my wrist and spin me around. I was met with a 6 foot 7 stature looking down at me sympathetically, almost apologetically. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, comfortable that nobody was around to see them - and even if they were, a kiss on the cheek was casual enough for people not to question them.
When he pulled back there was a small smile on his lips, the smile he reserved only for me. "Have a good day, Rose. I'll see you later for training." He was seemingly satisfied that he had managed to cheer me up at least somewhat as he turned back to the gym to finish cleaning up our equipment. I smiled at his retreating figure, calling out, "see you later, Comrade. Maybe you can nurse that wound of me kicking your ass before this evening's session." I could see his shoulders raise and lower slightly as he chuckled to himself, before I turned and headed on my own way to the showers.
First ever chapter for my first ever Vampire Academy fanfiction! Please let me know your thoughts as I am new to this fandom, however I do hope to please you with this story. It will be slowburn/a long journey, and I'm hoping for at least two chapters uploaded a week. Hope you enjoyed it! See you next time.
