The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.
by Pand and Lilli.
Chapter One: Barry and Vanessa.
On average, a drone honey bee only lives to be 90 days old, of course, that's just what the humans say, and bees don't care what humans say, however, this bee should have, because as much as bees like to think they know better, humans are right about 99.999999% of the time, I don't see any bees going to the moon, at least not without human assistance, so bees should shut up, and start giving a shit about what humans say because they fucking die when the humans say they will.
Barry Benson was laying on his death bed, this was his 91st day of life, at least he had been lucky enough to outlive all his relatives, his mother and father died a while back, and his brother/best friend/whatever had his life shortened by the loss of his stinger, dumb bitch couldn't hold his temper.
His wife, Vanessa... Benson? I guess, sat next to the bed, holding a long, shiny dagger, it was very pretty, and deadly, she caressed it with her fingers lovingly as she watched Barry, she hadn't forgotten her promise to him, their suicide pact stood strong.
Seeing as how they're about to die, there was no reason to give a shit about their weight anymore, so they were packing it onto their asses by scarfing down straight sugar and honey, they did this for a while, until...
"Ugh, Vanessa...! I don't know how much longer I can hold on...!" Barry says as he throws the spoon of honey away and collapses.
"Just let it happen, Barry, don't try to fight it, baby." said Vanessa, "do you think it's time, Barry? should I... do it?" she holds the dagger close to her heart.
"I... I don't know, Vanessa...!" Barry gasps, "I don't know how long this will take, and I don't want to be alone...!"
"I understand, honey-bunch, I don't want to be alone either." Vanessa nods "that's why I need to do it at the exact right moment, so that we leave together."
"Wait! I think... I think I have a plan...!" Barry starts trying to use his brain, big mistake, "if you, position yourself over me, and then do it, I think that should take us both."
"Good plan, Barry, but there's a huge problem..." Vanessa sighs "I want to be staring into your BEEautiful blue eyes when it happens."
"But this way, Vanessa, I can stare into yours." Barry points out.
Vanessa tenses, holding back her irritation.
"But... Barry... I want us to both stare into each others." Vanessa states calmly.
"Wait, new plan!" Barry just keeps making it worse, "as you stab yourself with one hand, crush my body with the other, that way things should happen exactly as we want them to."
"NO, Barry!" Vanessa protests "that would not work, if my hand is crushing you then I won't see your face, I think our best bet is what we were going to do originally: wait for the moment when the death grip seizes you, I'll stab myself, your heart will BEEat rapidly and I'll bleed out while we stare, then we'll both BEE gone."
"But Vanessa, you were only supposed to crush my body, you would still see my face, you wouldn't even need to squish my entire abdomen, just enough to get me going, like you with your heart." Barry won't take a hint.
"I said NO, Barry, I don't want to crush any of your beautiful insect body." Vanessa is adamant "even if we don't die at the exact same time, the one of us who dies first has to die watching the other die, WITH eye-contact."
"...yes, of course." Barry surrenders, "that's how it will BEE, then."
"Thank you, Barry..." Vanessa breathes, glad to finally have her way "I love you so much, my creepy crawly darling." she leans in over the bed above him.
"As I do you, my BEEloved." Barry responds.
Vanessa swooped down upon her tiny lover, lightly kissing his entire face.
Unfortunately, Barry had only just breathed out, and as Vanessa held the kiss he more and more impatiently waited for her to stop smothering him.
"Ugh!" Barry forced his head to the side "I think it might be happening...!"
"Oh my god, really!?" Vanessa backs off and raises the dagger "we have to BEE 100% sure, Barry, we can't risk me leaving preemptively."
"I-ugh! I don't know, I don't know!" Barry can't make up his mind.
"Then I won't do it yet." Vanessa decides "you should KNOW when it is happening, without any doubt."
"Yes, I'll be sure, I'll BEE sure... ugh..." Barry dies.
"Barry? Barry, is it happening!?" Vanessa asks desperately "Barry, wake up! wake the fuck up, Seinfeld! YES I KNOW YOUR REAL NAME, urgh, you can't do this to me! you bitch! open your god damn eyes!" Vanessa shakes Barry with her finger.
Barry's dead so he doesn't do anything.
"BARRY!? come on, you can't...!" Vanessa begs "what will it take to bring you back, Barry!? how about honey, you love honey, EAT SOME HONEY." Vanessa grabs the honey spoon and tries to forcefeed it to Barry's corpse.
Barry just lies there and takes it.
"Damn, the honey isn't working, oh-no, how stupid of me, of course it isn't, you've had your fill of honey, I need to try something different, I need to give you something that you haven't had any of for a long, long time..." Vanessa thinks it over a bit "I know! we haven't committed BEEstiality in ages, not from lack of pushing on your part though, now all that waiting pays off, Barry, enjoy these boobies that you haven't had since forever!" she undoes the buttons on the top of her shirt and opens wide, revealing her tits in her bra.
Since this has no effect on Barry, yet, she throws off the bra and starts fuckin' boob dancing for him or some shit, she basically just does everything Barry always wanted but never got when he was alive to enjoy it.
Realizing that this shit ain't workin' and ain't gonna work no matter how sexy she makes it, she stops undoing her belt and goes back to desperately trying to come up with some other way to save him, how do most people save dead people again? oh, right! ELECTRIC SHOCKS!
Vanessa feels like a genius as she scoops Barry up and runs outside to the bug-zapper.
"You'll come back to me now, my love!" she cries as she zaps him.
"Clear!" she zaps him again.
"Urgh!" Barry comes back to life "what... what happened!?"
"Oh, Barry! precious Barry." Vanessa snuggles him against her cheek "you were almost gone, but I've bought us more time."
"Oh, good..." Barry breathes, relieved "oh hey...! you're not wearing your top!"
"Oh, I suppose I'm not, this was the second thing I did in attempt to revive you, but it wasn't working so I switched to this." Vanessa points at the bug zapper.
"Wait...!" Barry realizes "you gave me boobie time, AND I MISSED IT!?"
"Not just any boobie time, the GREATEST boobie time I've ever given anyone! all to bring you back, baby." Vanessa's proud of herself.
"Th-the BEST...!?" Barry can't believe it "can, can you like, do it again? please!? as my dying wish?"
"Ugh, Barry! I already gave it to you once tonight, is there no satisfying you!?" Vanessa's annoyed by his pestering.
"Please...! I wasn't even really there!" Barry begs like a bitch.
Vanessa opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly froze, her eyes locked onto something behind Barry.
"What!? what is it...!?" Barry turns to look.
TO, BEE, CONTINUED!
