Every little part of me 1/12

Learning to live 1/1

Disclaimer: Don't own them just borrowing. Song is Learning to Live by Beth Hart.

Rating: CSI2

Spoilers: The entire show/slightly AU

Author's Notes: For Jen! Your friendship, incredible writings and positive spirit and admirable look at life has been a true inspiration.

Summary: This was it. Time to move on. Face facts. It wasn't about her anymore.

Chapter 1/1

It was late. Very late. She took a deep breath as she felt her feet move slowly at first but then faster and faster. With each step she felt stress, pain and fear leave her body only to be replaced with enormous relief.

Keep my head on straight

And my eyes wide open

I try to move forward

Wishing and hoping

I took a hold of myself

In the middle of November

Don't you look back now

Is all I can remember

I feel like I'm leaving

Like I'm leaving home

Like the clouds are parting, and I'm not alone

She didn't realize it but tears were sliding down her tears. She was almost there, almost free.

I'm learning to live

Living to learn

Starting to sing my song

Right, or wrong

Breaking away

Setting me free

Free to be, my own me

I'm learning to live

She stopped for a second looking at his house. Her entire body was aching by now. The bag was hanging heavily from her shoulder and her arms were burning. But she was determined to make it all the way to freedom. She slowed down as she approached the front door. She could see light behind the curtains. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Just a little longer now" she whispered as she stepped up the stairs.

The road here had been long and winding. Flashback after flashback made it impossible to move. She was overcome by the emotions running through her and shivered at the thought of what she had done to herself during the last many years.

I got my vanity crisis

From my beautiful mother

I'm not gonna go there

I'm anything other

Take another deep breath now

It's just one more hurdle

I'm breaking this line

Before it comes full circle

But this was it. Time to move on. Face facts. It wasn't about her anymore. She stepped up to the front door and knocked with a newfound strength.

I feel like I'm leaving

Like I'm leaving home

Like the clouds are parting, and I'm not alone

His eyes met hers in surprise. Seconds later she felt him lift the bundle in her arms into his as he ushered her inside.

I'm learning to live

Living to learn

Starting to sing my song

Right, or wrong

Breaking away

Setting me free

Free to be, my own me

I found a place, where I can lay my shit down

Somewhere that I can finally be myself - be myself

"Catherine" his voice sounded calm and collected but inside he was shaking.

"I had to get out of there. I made mistakes Gil, but I'm here because I know this isn't my life to ruin anymore. When Lindsey was born this morning I realized it's not about me anymore. It's about her and I am going to do everything in my power to protect her and make her life happy, do you understand me Gil, I had to get away I had to..." She couldn't keep going, tears had stolen her voice. He was by her side in an instant, having put the sleeping infant in the cot he had bought after visiting her at the hospital.

"Everything is going to be alright. I'm here for you"

I'm learning to live

Living to learn

Starting to sing my song

Right, or wrong

Breaking away

Setting me free

Free to be, my own me

"I know you are, and that is why I came here. I wanted Lindsey to celebrate her first birthday in freedom. Whatever happens hereafter I will be able to deal with. We just needed the first night in safety."

I'm learning to live

(Living to learn)

(Starting to sing my song) living to learn

(Right, or wrong)

I'm breaking away

Setting me free

Free to be, my own me

I'm learning to live

His heart broke knowing this was probably just for the night or until her excuse for a husband sobered up in the morning.

Gil had never wanted anything more in his entire life. He wished Lindsey was his and Catherine was his wife. But he'd take what he could get. And then wait until she was ready to leave for real. As he watched her sleep in his arms with Lindsey right next to them he vowed to wait forever – if that was what it took!