I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. It belongs to its respected owners.

Little, innocent Miaka was lying in bed dreaming happy wappy sappy dreams. The dreams were so happily dappily wappily that her slumber had blocked out the extremely annoying creaking sound (that her soon-to-be husband, Tamahome DIDN'T fix) of the nearby window. The dripping glass had brought in a new set of rain and a dramatic silhouette casting across the barely lit decor. She unconsciously huddled beneath the sheets, giving the intruder the impression that she was terrified of his presence.

"It's a good thin' too. 'Least it'll teach women ta stop tryin ta dominate the world... I hate those... those..." The intruder murmured as his black, leathery wings had gone in a *poof* and in that small creature's place was a... I dunno... bigger creature?... with fangs? So anyway, it slowly stepped across the carpet... slowly... slowly. The innocent girl had shivered and bundled up beneath the sheets. Her lower lip quivered ever so delicately; her hands tightened their grip on the blankets till the knuckles turned white.

It was then that the creature realized that he was completely drenched in water. "What the hell??" The curtains flowed with the current of the wind bringing bucket-fulls of rain into the room completely soaking the carpet, the person in the bed, the intruder, the closet, the clothes in the closet, the vanity desk, the ceiling lights, the dolls, the desk, the uh... yeah. He angrily shut the stupid window and stalked over to the bed, bearing his fangs to scare his little victim.

His victim, however, was fast asleep still unfazed (except for the cold temperature). She slept even though the bed was completely soaked with rainwater. She slept even though there was an intruder in her room. Correct that, a very PO'ed intruder in her room. "AHO!!! Wake up!!" He slapped her forehead. "Wait... exactly WHY did I wake her up?" The intruder murmured to himself realizing his mistake.

Miaka jumped up and was immediately ready for breakfast! Before the intruder knew it, his hand was being chewed... hard. "What the fuck are ya doin'????" He squeaked and jumped in the corner to attend to his poor, defenseless hand, stroking it and stroking it and murmuring soft words to comfort it.

"Ecchi!!!!!" Miaka screamed out and proceeded to bat the intruder with her vanity desk. He started to retreat and run in circles around the room, while unsuccessfully trying to dodge the onslaught of the "terrified" girl.

"Yamero! Yamero!!" The intruder screamed in surrender, but of course the "terrified" girl was too "terrified" to even notice his cries for mercy.

"Miaka! I'll save you!" Tamahome burst through the window and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the poor little man being beaten down ruthlessly by his soon-to-be wife. He walked over to the light switch and gave it a flick (no, junior, not THAT kind of flick) "Eh..."

"Tamahome!!" She jumped to him and snuggled in his embrace. "This man sneaked into my room and he... and he..."

"I didn't do nothin', AHO!!!!" Now, we can see clearly that the intruder is none other than TASUKI! "What the hell're ya doin' beatin' me up for and with that... that death desk!!"

"VAMPIRE!" Tamahome pointed, shoving his index finger between the intruder's eyes.

"Half Vampire!!" (... I'm too lazy to remember what they were called... damphir? I don't remember). The intruder corrected.

"You tried to hurt Miaka!" Tamahome accused.

"Forget it! I don't want that demon's blood anyway!!" The intruder argued back.

"What did you call ME???" With a nice uppercut, the half-vampire intruder was sent flying across the world.

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... ow... my head hurts...

"Da?" *poke* *poke*

Ow... that hurts! What the fuck??

"Da?" *poke* *poke*

What the fuck??? Somethin's pokin' my fucking chest!!

"It moved no da!!" *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*

"Chichiri... I think you can stop now..."

"Frick Damnit! Yamero!!" Hey, my voice works at least...

"It talked no da!!!" *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*

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"WHAT THE FUCK??!!!" The redhead jumped up in the air from his semi-conscious state and beamed angrily at two figures; particularly the chibi blue haired fox-faced one with the stick in his hand.

"It's alive no da!" *poke* to the redhead's leg.

The larger man with a basket full of herbs on his back held back the red-head who was fuming mad and trying his best to take a good swing at the tiny blue-haired man who stared inquisitively at him (and also was wise enough to ditch the stick).

After a good 20 minutes, the half-vampire settled down and the large man let him go.

"Where the hell am I?" The redhead asked.

"Why, you're in cow town no da!"

To be continued.

Author's Notes: Yay. This is my first story. What do you think?