A/N: Ok, another TamaxKyo fanfic, a very angsty one may I add. I just had this nostalgic day on a weekend and suddenly boom! I had an entire story in my head with the album I needed to make it. Hope you like it and review.

Ps.: Don't worry about updates I've got 7 chapters ready already so I promise to update in 20 days max.

Ok I get that you don't like me anymore but please please review ç--ç! It won't hurt you.

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Whisper

The hypocrisy of it all seemed to fill the room and choke him. It was another party, one of those that he had no choice but to go. He wished he had the option to say no. He loved money and power but this was beyond. All these people…in truth were just looking for a way to ruin him.

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere

His family was there, his sister seemed incredibly uncomfortable, after all her only purpose was to accompany her husband, and being a shadow seemed to be wearing her down. He only wished he could do something. But the Ootori name prevented him from doing anything.

If there was anything that truly hurt him this was it. To see his sister, the one that cared for him and took care of him like a mother would, be hurt and worn down by this ridiculous rules his family has.

What hurts him even more is that his hands are tied and he is powerless...he cannot save himself from it much less save her.

No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me into madness
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away
If I will it all away

Besides his own flesh and blood he did not truly know any of the weird human beings that filled the gigantic and bright room. The yellow light from the Swarovski chandeliers made everything look as if it is prettier. But Kyoya could see the ugliness of it all on the fake smiles of the man and women he talked to.

"Such a shame you are the third son. But I am sure your brothers will do their best huh?" The man, Mr. Whatever sarcastically said. Apparently he was the owner of a major furniture company that supplied beds, couches and other things to the Ootori hospitals. So Kyoya swallowed his anger and smiled.

"I am sure they will. Now I am sorry but I need to quickly talk to someone." He lied and left the little circle of conversation. He could feel their gazes on him, burning holes through him, seeing his very soul. They were all looking for a way to make him snap…so he would stop being such a bother to his brothers and father. So he would accept his fate with no struggle.

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide

But despite his best efforts to stay hidden and leave as soon as possible all he could was stay there and be political. This was his future no mater what he did, no matter how frightened he felt just by the thought of becoming someone like his father. He wished and he despised it all at once. It isn't all bad…it is just painful to know that there is no way out. He cannot chose a different way of life…he is forever stuck.

As soon as he escaped a boring conversation or accusation about his way of contradicting his unchangeable fate he found an excuse and got out of the sea of people judging him - until someone else came along and called his name…the cycle beginning again.

(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)

All Ootoris seemed to be worshiped in some way. The amazing doctors and prodigious sons; not to mention his sister of course, the perfect wife. The perfect and most amazing lie his father came up with.

He wondered what his mother would feel if she saw them now. He was sure that this life she was forced to chose was what killed her. He was sure she only got sick because his father was a horrible and absent husband.

What would have happened if she was still alive? If she could talk to them and speak her mind...maybe his brothers woldn't be copys of his father. Maybe his sister had not married someone she didn't love. Maybe he would have the chance to live a different life.

Ormaybe he just wanted to hope that, to believe that there was a way to escape that simply didn't work...maybe he didn't want to believe that there was never and there won't be never; a way to escape.

I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know that there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear

This used to be all he ever wanted, this power over everyone…but now…now he feels a tremor run through his body as he realizes that as the years pass his identity slowly disappears. It vanishes between the fake smiles and the lies.

He stops at the main entrance where he suddenly finds himself though he isn't sure how he got there. The saloon is bright yellow and the dresses and suits glow showing of the richness of the people inside. He tries to remember one year in his life when he didn't have to come to one of these events but he doesn't.

Before he notices he is talking to strangers again. They mention his brothers and the company once more, without mentioning him; someone makes a joke and though he is laughing his eyes water. But not from amusement.

And soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain if I will it all away
If I will it all away

He blinks fast as he sees familiar faces. Tamaki is there, Haruhi is accompanying him. Apparently Yuzuru and Ranka are competing to see who can say more great things about the Fujioka girl in the shortest time. Kyoya swallows hard, the knot on his throat hurting more and more as he knows he was left behind.

"I am her true father! I am supposed to talk to the university owners! Not you." He hears them fight from afar since Ranka and Tamaki are not exactly the most discreet people in the world.

He prays that his father has not noticed, he prays he doesn't have to go over there, he wishes with every cell of his body that he does not have to move, he can stay exactly where he is and not see the even more painful reality and situation unfolding before his eyes.

Two words describe the answer to his prayers and wishes: ...Yeah, right.

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide

(Though they're screaming your name)

Yoshio flashes his best prototype of a smile and walks towards the blonde family trying to impress them and the ones around them obviously. His brothers and himself follow like a dog on a leash, mouths curving upwards, and hands stand in the air waiting to shaken. If he could relive this moment he would be far from there by now.

Tamaki smiles brightly at Kyoya for a moment…for a moment being the keywords. Soon his attention is back to the brown eyed girl. Kyoya's smile faltered and he eyed her with the envy and latent anger ha actually felt. But that happened in seconds and his smile was back in no time.

Not like Tamaki would notice. With Haruhi around it didn't matter if Kyoya burst in flames beside him.

Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)

They all shake hands and trade smiles, Haruhi seems annoyed. Oh how he envied the commoner. She had the choice, the one he always wanted to have. Tamaki has his best and most honest smile ever as he stands proudly beside the girl he surely knows he loves. Their friendship is starting to fade…how much of it was true anyway? For another moment Kyoya's eyes shows what he is thinking. If only Tamaki could see the unspoken words hidden on Kyoya's grey orbs.

How he wished Tamaki would see, and shed Kyoya from his maks all over again. Unfortunately that is not going to happen anytime soon.

Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes

"You were a lie as well…" Kyoya could almost hear his heart breaking a little more. He doesn't know Tamaki anymore. How he feels, what he thinks. They don't talk like before…why is the brunette the one of the two that must suffer? Why always him?

His brothers are just fine with their positions in the company, his sister, though hurting is getting used to her life and eager to have a baby, Tamaki obviously will do well in his life, marry someone he loves and chose what he wants to do when it comes to working.

Why does it feel like he is the only one suffering in the midst of all of this?

Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end

After chatting to those he was supposed to he sits alone in the table marked "Reserved", his name on a little name tag. Haruhi seems to want to talk to him as she approaches, she must be feeling out of place. He smiles, and she sees the lies. He only wishes he could blind her.

"Why aren't you spending anymore time with Tamaki-senpai? I thought you two always stayed together at these events. Being best friends and all." She "innocently mentions and he can't help but wish that God could strike him or her dead now. He almost leaves her talking to herself. But being rude is not an option tonight.

"We did. Things change." He simply said an took a sip of the liquid content on his glass not even bothering to taste or see what it is. It could be poison or orange juice but he didn't care it all had the same bitter taste to him in moments like these.

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)

She stares at him and he stares back, the small curve of the lips never leaving its place. He can't blind her and he can't hide it, he is not the same, nothing is. He wishes he could mention, say, whisper that it is all her fault.

Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)

But if he did do so he would be blinding himself. He cannot ignore the facts and close his eyes to the truth. He is to be accused as well. He is the one who did nothing as the perfect family and world around him slowly started to crumble. They both whisper for they are both guilty.

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)

He stands and motions her to sit in his place. It is the only time he notices how beautiful she looks. The basic light pink dress gives her a feminine look that people rarely see. But he knows she is good looking. Just as his king. He wanted to have more time to linger on the thought…but the "party" goes on, the show goes on. His masks are always on.

He gets up to greet some important multinational company's owner and decides to give his sister a drink. He walks by Tamaki who is happily chatting with some important members of famous colleges, he goes by unnoticed though this one time he misses – he will deny ever thinking this – Tamaki's snaps. The ones where he got jumped on by the blonde.

Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)

Around three in the morning the social event ended, everyone leaving home after some had too much to drink, or didn't eat well or ate too well. He fit into none of these categories, he left because everyone was leaving and staying would be pointless.

All in all the night was tiring. Seeing the blonde idiot swoon over the androgynous brunette being the worst part.

He arrives home quickly and throws himself on his bed even quicker, he does not want to leave time to wonder or think about the things that hurts him – though he know he will. His room is awfully quiet and cold. No matter how many blanquettes are wrapped around him he never seems to lose the cold. The cold feel of loneliness.

He lies on his back, staring at the boring white ceiling. Everything in his room is organized and in place, there is nothing there that defines his personality, not even a trace of the real Kyoya. Just a room that mirrors the image he created for himself.

Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)

And though he is alone and no one is talking to him, no one is there to make him think about his life or his business, though everything ended for a few hours and in these precious hours he will be dead to the world…he knows he will dream about the lies he tells, about the masks he wears, he will look at his room, at his house and as he cannot call it his home…he will hear…the whispers.

Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die)

"You are the biggest lie…"

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A/N: This is definitely the most difficult fic I have written so far. I think it can be a bit boring in this first chapters but by the third you will have a little twist and story will begin to develop. So stick with me!

Ok I get that you don't like me anymore but please please review ç--ç! It won't hurt you.