Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the guys. That honor belongs to Kazuya Minekura.
Sanzo sat in the front passenger seat in Jeep. It had only been three days since they had started this journey and already he was tired of listening to Goku bitch about the lack of food, Gojyo bitch about being stuck in the back with Goku and, to his surprise, a little frightened of Hakkai. They were lucky and had found an inn for the night but the inn only had one room left, so they were all stuck in the same room. Hakkai had won the card draw and won the right to sleep in the bed.
Gojyo lay on the floor, smoking. His futon was next to Hakkai's bed. Goku had attempted to make a nice bed for Sanzo but the blanket was wrinkled and it was way to close to Goku's futon for Sanzo's comfort. Sanzo had tugged his futon away from Goku's but while he was in the bathroom, the monkey must have moved it closer again. Sanzo glared at Goku but Goku only smiled back, his face the picture of innocence. A strange comment from Gojyo caught Sanzo's attention.
"Shit, Hakkai! I didn't know they were so big!"
"Oh my yes. They started out quite small but over time, they certainly have grown."
Cigarette smoke drifted over towards Sanzo, making him crave a cigarette. Lighting one, Sanzo tried not to listen to their conversation. Sitting down at the small, nicked up table, Sanzo opened the paper and searched for an interesting article to read.
"You have to hold them with both hands?"
"Um, not always." Hakkai spoke softly to Hakuryu for a minute before laying the little white dragon down on the pillow. "It's best to hold them with both hands. One has more control that way." Hakkai laughed quietly. "My first one was quite misshapen but I soon solved that."
"How?" That question came from Goku. He was sitting crossed legged on his futon, dressed in his pajamas. Sanzo grunted in Goku's direction, trying to tell him to shut up and stay out of this conversation. Paper rustling, Sanzo went back to reading, sipping his coffee after every page turn.
"You need a gentle touch, Goku. If you're too rough with them, then they are misshapen and you have no control over them. They might just stay in one place, swinging back and forth." Hakkai grinned at Goku. "Once, I squeezed too hard and oh, was that painful!" Gojyo and Goku joined in Hakkai's laughter.
Sanzo couldn't concentrate on the paper anymore. Just what the hell was Hakkai talking about anyway? He thought back to the last few days and nothing jumped out at him. What did Hakkai need to hold between his two hands?
Gojyo came up off the futon, laughing. "Shit! Don't say stuff like that while I'm drinking, Hakkai! I almost spit out my beer!" Hakkai pounded Gojyo on the back, laughing right along with him.
"So, what did your balls look like after you squeezed too hard?" Goku managed to ask between giggles.
Sanzo choked on his coffee, coughing and trying to catch his breath. Goku got off of his futon and started pounding Sanzo on the back which only made Sanzo cough harder because he was trying to yell at Goku to stop hitting him. Hakkai and Gojyo watched as Goku tried to take care of Sanzo but Sanzo just waved the younger man away. Goku looked at Hakkai and Gojyo, shrugged his shoulders and went back to sit on his futon.
"They looked terrible! Strangely colored and grossly misshapen. In fact, most of my ball was oozing over my fingers."
"You don't have that problem with your balls now, do you?" Gojyo lit another cigarette. "I've seen your balls and they look fine to me."
Sanzo threw the paper down on the little, scarred table. Turning around, he glared at the his three companions. "Just what the fuck are you talking about?" Sanzo's loud voice echoed through the little room.
"My chi. How I form it into a ball before I throw it." Hakkai looked at Sanzo, a puzzled expression on his handsome face. "What did you think we were talking about?"
Sanzo turned back around so no one would see the flush covering his face. "Never mind." Silence reigned in the room for several minutes, only to be broken by a bark of laughter from Gojyo.
"You pervert! You thought we were talking about Hakkai's nuts!"
SMACK!! Gojyo rubbed the top of his head where Sanzo had hit him with his fan.
Sanzo got up from the table and went to his futon. "Anyone says one more fucking word and they'll get what Gojyo got!" Covering himself up, Sanzo turned his back on them and silently fumed.
Hakkai turned out the light and the only noise in the room was the sound of everyone getting comfortable on their futons. Then, a giggle came from Goku's area and a chuckle from the bed and the sounds of Gojyo snickering.
"All of you! Shut up!" Silence.
"Good night, Sanzo."
"Night, Sanzo."
"Nighty night, Sanzo."
"One more fucking word out of any of you and I'm going to kill you!" Sanzo could feel a muscle twitch above his left eye. If this is what the journey to India was going to be like, those three bastards won't have to worry about being killed by youkai; he'd kill them first.
