I don't own Transformers or any canon characters in here; I only own the humans, finches, Snowy, and in some ways but not all, Mei. This'll be a collection of short stories starring the humans (mostly the female ones) throwing tantrums and making life miserable for the poor 'Bots. :)

Funny thing about this story. I was in English class and we were discussing Shakespeare (he's insane, by the way. And not in a good way, either). We had split up into groups to begin reading Hamlet and our teacher started walking around to make sure we were doing our work. He seemed to like to come to our group and lean over my shoulder, something I absolutely hate. It didn't help that I had caught a cold and was miserable, so the next time he came, I glared at him. My group mates later told me that it looked as if I had punched him, the way he stumbled backwards and walked away. Later when the teacher addressed the class about the scene we read, he said something about 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. Of course that made me think about Katie, Jordan, Armonie, Erin, and Maggie, the wonderfully grumpy humans at the Autobot base. ;)

Thus this story was born: sidestories of the trouble the aforementioned grumpy humans go through to live at the Autobot base. ;)

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You know the old saying: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or something like that. Well, you'd think the Autobots would know this by now, but evidently not. Apparently they (or at least most of them) thought that just because humans are tiny and squishy, they couldn't hurt the much larger, armored beings no matter what they did.

Boy were they wrong.

It started off simple. Erin was limping along down the hall, Scorponok following like a lost puppy. He even had the big googley optics which the girl usually found amusing. Together they had found Katie and Armonie who were in the lounge, sitting at the table and talking.

It was common knowledge (at least around the guardians and humans) that Erin in pain wasn't happy. In fact, they knew how to tell when the humans were grumpy and knew how to stay away from them. Also, judging by the way she yawned, she was tired which was even worse. Pain plus lack of sleep equals pissed off Erin. Seriously.

"Morning, Erin." Jazz said politely and Erin grunted in response.

She limped over to the kitchen area and poured herself a cup of hot tea, finding a seat next to her cousin. While she waited for her drink to cool, she appeared to go to sleep right there on the table, earning more than a few surprised looks.

"Sci-fi Saturday?" Jazz asked and Scorponok nodded. "I see."

"Is she sick?" Ratchet asked, walking in.

Katie felt her cousin's forehead. "She doesn't have a fever."

"Lemme alone." Erin grumbled. Her voice was raspy and sounded as if she was trying to imitate the sound of frying bacon.

"Definitely sick." Hot Rod said and Erin turned her blind eyes to glare at him.

"One more word and your ass is mine." She growled. Hot Rod raised his hands in surrender and backed away wisely. Anything else she was about to say was cut off as she sneezed explosively.

Ironhide leapt inside, cannons out and ready to fire. "What was that?" he demanded. Erin growled and grabbed the baton from Jordan's belt (she sat on her right) and flung it with all her might at the weapon specialist. Though blind, her aim was perfect; the metal baton connected with his right optic, causing Ironhide to roar in pain and cover the smarting optic.

This caused Red Alert, who happened to be walking by, to come running in his cannons online and ready to fire, screaming about a Decepticon attack and oh, I told you that Scorponok would be a traitor just like Erin and a majority of the humans on base! With an alarmed chirp, Scorponok attempted to hide beneath the table and only succeeded in knocking the various hot drinks around as well as a few breakfasts.

Jordan's coffee slid toward Erin and without a thought she snatched the mug up and hurled it at Red Alert who not only got a face full of shattered porcelain, but hot coffee as well. His screaming irritated both Erin and Scorponok who remained under the table; Erin covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.

Thinking fast, Jazz hauled Red Alert out of the lounge and Ironhide as well, closing the door in their faces and muffling their shouts and grumbles. Grumbling, Erin gulped down her tea and moved to wash the cup out.

"I'd like to take you to the med-bay, Erin." Ratchet told her in his best stern-medic voice. "You're not well and I would like to give you some medicine for it." No answer from the blind girl, but he did get a mug to the face when he moved to pick her up.

"Someone's grumpy today." Armonie said with a maternal smile. Erin rolled her eyes but allowed herself to be hugged by the Italian woman. "Let's get you some soup and get you to bed. I'm sure you're tired." The gathered Autobots looked away or shut their optics, afraid that Erin was going to punch the older woman – they all knew from experience that though she was blind, she had a mean right hook.

But to their surprise, Erin allowed herself to be led away by the woman. Sideswipe, being the sneaky devil he was, managed to coax his brother into coming with him to see if they could get a film capture of the teen biting the head off the maternal Italian woman. Not literally, of course. Ratchet followed, not sure why Erin would accept medical attention from a human rather than he, who had taken care of her since she was brought to him, half dead.

Unfortunately for Sideswipe, he found Erin sitting placidly on her cot, patiently holding a thermometer between her lips and likely under her tongue (or so Ratchet assumed) as Armonie bustled around her, fluffing pillows, bringing blankets, boxes of Kleenix ('Since when did I put those there?' Ratchet wondered), and a glass of water nearby.

The door unexpectedly slid open and Erin jerked her head to "look" at them. Before they could react, the black lump at her side was in her hand and she pulled the trigger.

PSAP!THAP!PSAP!THAP!PSAP!THAP!

Armonie looked up at the paint-splattered Autobots standing in the doorway as Scorponok made his way over to the berth. Shaking her head, she went back to making Erin some hot soup while muttering to herself in Italian.

When Ratchet moved to take another step into the med-bay – his med-bay – he got another face full of paint. Getting the hint, he left to go to the washrack and see if he couldn't get the paint off.

"Jeez, what was that about, Ratchet?" Sideswipe asked, eyeing the neon orange spots on his chest.

Before the medic could respond, Snowy hopped out from one of the vents, landing neatly on the green medic's shoulder, a bit of paper folded in his carrying collar.

'Hell hath no fury like a sick teenage female.'


Written because I had caught a cold and was decidedly NOT HAPPY about it. ;) 'Course that meant I had to make life a livin' hell for everyone around me except my mom 'cause she was taking care of me.

If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to ... well, suggest them. ((evil grin))