AN: Hi guys. Thanks for giving this story a chance. I really do hope you like it. I'm writing fan fiction again after 3 whole years. I've previously only ever written for abc's Castle. This is me trying my hand out at a new ship I've started religiously following this year. Clexa. From CW's The 100. I absolutely love the show, and Clarke and Lexa's story will forever stay with me. This story here is a modern AU.

Has no background of an apocalypse or 100 kids being sent to earth./p

It is however super angsty- and I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little scared about how Clexa shippers will receive this story cause it starts off super angsty. But I promise you, I'm a fan of happy endings, so stick with me. Trust me. I want them to together just as much as you do.

Disclaimer: I own nothing with regards to The 100 or it's characters. They belong to CW and Jason Rothenberg. Just using them to tell a story.

Summary: One mistake. Clarke made one mistake and it was enough to end everything she had been dreaming about for a life with her soulmate Lexa. But when years later they meet again, Clarke makes it her life's mission to rectify the misunderstandings, be truthful and come clean about everything that had led up to her big mistake in the first place.


Chapter 1:

She turned the key in the lock of their apartment and closed the door behind her, immediately looking towards the kitchen to check if her partner was home.

"Clarke? Babe, are you home?' she called out

No answer. She sighed. Until 2 weeks ago, it was a common sight to come home after a hard day at work, to find Clarke prepping up some new recipe she learned or simply sitting on the couch with her guitar playing some tunes to herself, or reading a book, something even the door opening wouldn't distract her from.

Lexa hung her coat in the closet and walked in towards the kitchen island. She got herself a glass of water and texted Raven while sipping on it.

"Hey Raven, I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, but is Clarke with you?"

"Hi, Lexa. It's no problem. Umm… no, Clarke isn't with me. What's up?"

Lexa felt embarrassed. She's supposed to know these things. It's supposed to be a thing between her and Clarke. But Clarke's been acting different off late. Very different. Distant would be a better word. Lexa looked around the room once more, then finally pulled up Clarke's name on speed dial and called her.

It rang and it rang. But she didn't pick.

She quickly texted Raven.

"Umm… nothing was just checking. I'm sure she's with Murphy and the gang."

To which Raven quickly replied

"Alright. Hey, let me know if you need me okay? And please, tell me once she's home too."

"Thanks Rae"

Under normal circumstances, Lexa would panic. Like she did the first day this happened. But 2 weeks in now, and she's picked up a pattern. It was 11pm now. Clarke should be home in an hour or two. Her friends will drop her off. At least Lexa hoped so. She wiped her face down in frustration, took a long breath and made her way upstairs to their bedroom. She needed a quick shower.

Clarke's always been more social than her. Her job allowed it too. She was an extrovert by nature. Always meeting new people because her creativity and her love for the arts demanded it sometimes. Lexa however preferred fewer social occasions. Being a lawyer by profession, she inevitably has to speak out and confidently before a lot of people. And she was damn good at it too. It was one of the things Clarke loved so much about her.

Clarke was always the one pushing her to come to parties with her. Not that she didn't enjoy it. She did. Especially when Clarke got all buzzed with just a few beers and would get all clingy and affectionate. Lexa loved those nights.

But alcohol was beginning to become more of an enemy to their relationship. And Lexa couldn't get it off her mind while she showered. What was tonight's argument going to be about? What harsh things would they say to each other today? Is one of them going to end up sleeping on the couch again? The past two weeks have been stressful and Lexa could not understand why Clarke had changed, or rather what had changed between them.

Add to that all the new clients she's been allocated at work. With appraisal season just around the corner and her eyes on that big promotion, she was trying her best to give her everything to her work and still be here for Clarke, whatever it is she's going through, whatever it is that's making her think she needs to get shit-faced drunk every night.

As hot water ran down her naked body, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on happier times. Sure they'd had bad days before too. Really bad days, they were a couple. Since high school. They've had their fair share of fights, break-ups and make ups, they'd cried together, made love together, grown up together and now, they'd been living together for 2 years. It's got to mean something right? Right? Lexa had every intention of spending the rest of her life with Clarke. She was going to pop the question sometime soon in the future. They had already discussed kids. Hell, if that doesn't hint at permanency, then what does? She tried to slow her thoughts down and focus on the water caressing her skin and less on the tears beginning to brim.

'We'll get through this' she whispered to herself and turned the shower off. She reached out for a towel and quickly dried herself off. And along with her pyjamas, she quickly put on her strength and some more, for Clarke. She'll try talking to her tonight again. They have to find a way to fix this. It can't keep going on this way. Clarke was either hurt or angry about something. Why else would she be acting out this way? She'll sit her down tonight, hold her close and coax her to open up. Whatever it is she's feeling, she should know she doesn't need to go through this alone.

Lexa made her way downstairs to heat up the food she picked up on her way home, hoping Clarke would have dinner with her. She served herself a plate and began eating, standing by the kitchen island, and simultaneously tried Clarke's phone again.

This time, she picked up

"Clarke!"

"Hey baby" Clarke slurred.

Lexa frowned. Clarke sounded too drunk. The endearment was common. The slur in her voice… That was what she picked up on.

"What time are you coming home?" Lexa asked.

"Are you home, already? Shit. What time is it?" Clarke asked.

Lexa looked at the clock in their kitchen and at the same time, she heard Clark giggle at someone near her.

"Babe it's almost 12… you should be getting home." Lexa said.

"Yea, I'm leaving in like… 10 minutes"

Clarke clearly didn't leave in 10 minutes. It was 1 am now and Lexa was sipping on a mug of coffee while typing away on her laptop. A dangerous thing to do given that she needed to wake up at 7 am tomorrow and coffee would do nothing but keep her up. But she was adamant on talking to Clarke tonight. She tried her phone again. It just kept ringing. Lexa almost threw her phone aside in frustration, when she heard the lock of the door open. She looked that way to find Clarke making her way inside.

She stopped when she saw Lexa sitting by the kitchen island.

"Clarke where have you been?"

"god, you look beautiful" Clarke exclaimed and took quick steps until she was by Lexa's side, Lexa turned towards her and Clarke leaned in, held her face a little too lovingly and began kissing her. Lexa's heart jumped. Even after all these years, how Clarke's lips could move her this way, was beyond her. But then the taste of alcohol on Clarke's lips brought her back to reality and reminded her of why they were even here in the first place. She lightly tugged at Clarke's hands, and pulled her lips away from her lover.

"Clarke… wait… We need to talk."

"Come on Lexa, I'm tired of fighting… can't we just…"

She leaned back in, this time, with more purpose, her eyes had darkened, like she'd been waiting to come home and make love to her girlfriend. Her hand moved lower, caressing Lexa's neck, her collar bone, and lightly grazed over her breast when Lexa all but pushed herself off the bar stool and away from Clarke.

"What the fuck, Lexa!" Clarke exclaimed.

"Clarke. Are you not listening to me?"

"I am. And I'm tired. And I know whatever we start now will end in a fight and I don't want to fight anymore" Clarke said… sounding tired and sad.

"And why is that Clarke? Why is it that every time we try to talk these days it ends up in a fight?"

Clarke looked tired. Like she wanted to give up. And Lexa hated herself for pushing so much. Clarke has never needed this much pushing before. She usually came to her on her own, mumbling her problems into Lexa's chest at night, and Lexa would hold her tight, either helping her find solutions or just simply listening and letting her vent. But this time was different. This time, Clarke was closing herself off and Lexa couldn't take it.

"I don't know okay! I don't know!" Clarke snapped.

Lexa took a step forward toward Clarke. Wanting to reach out and touch her arm, to show her she was still here for her even if she was trying to be firm here.

"Clarke, you've been drinking every night for the past two weeks. You come home drunk, you don't answer my questions, we argue, and go to bed angry. We wake up and act like nothing happened the earlier night. We go to work like everything's fine between us and then it's the same thing all over again! What's changed?"

"But everything IS FINE between us" Clarke whines as she walks over to get herself a glass of water. Lexa notices how she can't walk straight and needs to lean against the sink as she sips on her water.

"Bullshit Clarke! Bullshit and you know it" Lexa said.

"I'm tired Lexa. Can we do this after I've showered, please?"

Lexa says nothing. She simply closes her laptop and takes it with her to the living room where she plants herself on the couch and continues to work. She hears Clarke sigh as she leaves the kitchen area, and later sees her slowly make her way up to their bedroom. Once she's out of sight, Lexa takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She rubs her eyes. It's 1.30 am. They can do this. Clarke isn't as drunk as the last few nights. Maybe they can have a civil conversation. Maybe they can sort it out. Maybe they'll be fine tomorrow.


Author's note: Don't hate me. As I said there's going to be angst. But there's going to be happy moments too. and an eventual happy ending. DO let me know your thoughts, leave a review.