Title: In the Dark
Author: Speedfanatic05
Rating:FRT
Classification: Angst
Content Warning: Hints of character death
Spoilers: none
Pairing : none
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't have a conniption
Challenge Word: #11, Storm
Summary: Comfort comes in the most interesting forms.
She listened as the wind howled outside, the covers pulled tightly over her head protectively. The sounds of the pounding rain had been soothing before, lulling her to sleep with the steady consistency that she was used to, but now the storm had gotten fierce. The flash of lightening cast a brief but eerie shadow in her room and she shuddered as she huddled under the covers even more.
"One, two , three, four,..." she said as the sound of ominous boom answered back, causing her to jump. Pulling the multicolored comforter that her mother had brought her when she was a little girl, away from her, she watched the nightlight flicker before going out completely, leaving her room in total darkness.
Her nerves began to take her over as she tried to adjust to the thick darkness, feeling her heart beating in her chest. She never liked thunderstorms, but the ones that happened to sneak up on her when her Dad wasn't home were the worst. When he wasn't there, she couldn't run into his room, finding him sitting on his bed, reading. He wouldn't be there to take her into his strong arms and tell her everything was alright. She smiled a little as she thought about that, and the familiarity of the scene, it being everything that she had ever wanted. Since losing her mother, Caitlin craved the warmth and familiarity that her family had been.
Another sound of thunder boomed and she laid back down, and covered herself once more. With her hands shaking, she slipped them under the pillow, finding an object then let her hands roam the side of her bed, quickly coming up with a flash light. Taking a moment to breathe, she turned the flashlight on, the dim light bathing a small frame, the picture inside of it being worn from repeatedly taking it out. A blue cloth was behind it and she slipped it out, the aroma of her scent still trapped within the fibers. She looked at it, feeling the tears coming as the rain continued to pelt on the rooftop, sounding like a thousand nails being dropped on tin. The smiles that were there were faded with time, but she could remember vaguely the happiness that had prompted them. Sniffling, she wiped at the tears that had begun to drop steadily as she heard the door open.
"Catie," came a voice from the darkness. Quickly, she put the picture back under the pillow and tossed the covers off of her, seeing the ray of light coming from the flashlight at the door. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Mandy," Caitlin replied as she pointed her own at the door, illuminating her eighteen year old babysitter. Caitlin had scowled ,at first, at the thought of a baby sitter, but logic presented itself, telling her that at the tender age of ten, she could no more take care of herself than the man in the moon. She had grown to like Mandy, if not for the similarities to her mother, but also for the company. There was nothing that she couldn't tell Mandy that would ever be repeated. "It's gotten bad out there hasn't it?"
" Yeah, I sure hope your Dad is going to be alright coming home," Mandy replied as she walked towards the bed, knowing how Caitlin felt about storms. She sat down on the edge, the light shining on her , seeing the evidence of tears. " Oh, Catie..."
"It's nothing, Mandy. I'm fine, really," Caitlin tried , her voice cracking under the tears that choked her. Even though she had been only seven when it happened, she could remember the night that they fought, it being similar to the one that was now in progress. She remembered the anger that was in her mother's voice being strong, and it scared her, never hearing her unmistakable accent laced within it. The sounds of the doors slamming had matched in perfect time with the thunderclaps and she remembered clearly the last slamming and looking outside her window to see her mother running for her car, her long blond hair getting drenched in the downpour. That would be the last she would ever see of her before that moment in the church where it seemed her life had stood at a stand still.
"Caitlin," Mandy called, pulling her back from her memories. " I said, do you want to call your Dad to check up on him?"
" You think I could?" she asked meekly. " I would feel so much better."
"Sure , kiddo. You are going to have to come downstairs though."
Caitlin nodded as she got up and grabbed her flashlight, moving through her room hesitantly. The darkness surrounded them completely and even though she had lived all her life in this room , she still had a tough time negotiating. As Caitlin made her way to the door, Mandy 's beam hit something on the floor and then shone her light down steadily, seeing the piece of cloth. Picking it up, she could instantly smell the aroma of her and smiled faintly . Caitlin glanced back, the beam of light traveling with her as Mandy slipped the piece of fabric back onto her bed and walked swiftly towards her. They both began the perilous trip down the stairs, holding on to each other.
"I wish she was here," Caitlin remarked softly as the rain slowed in its intensity as they descended the stairs. She could only hope that the storm was now passing. " I miss her so much."
" I know, Catie. But, there are the little things that remind you of her, and that's what matters the most. Don't you think?"
Caitlin stopped and turned to face her, the flashlight coming abruptly in her face, " You found my cloth , didn't you?"
"I did, but Caitlin, there's nothing wrong with having something to remember her by. If that is what comforts you then you take it."
" I feel like a freak, keeping a piece of my dead mother's lab coat," Caitlin stated as she sat down on the stairs. The phone call had been forgotten for the time being, hearing the sounds of the thunder fade away. The storm outside was waning, but the one inside of her still raged on. "She's been gone for three years, I should be just able to get over it."
Mandy sat next to her, setting the flashlight beside her and reaching for Caitlin, " No such thing, Catie. You lost your mother, there is no predetermined time to grieve for someone. In some instances, you will never completely heal from it. Having that little piece of cloth, is like having a little piece of her back."
" I just don't want to hurt anymore," Caitlin said as she broke down, the tears streaming over her eyelids, cascading down her face. " I want her to be here, I want her to love Dad the way he needs to be loved, the way she used to love him. I want our family nights back . I- I want her laugh back. I want her smile back."
Mandy pulled her closer, holding her against her violent sobs as she released all that was inside of her. She tried to comfort her by rubbing small circles in her back with the palm of her hand, whispering to her, " It's alright, Catie,... it's alright to cry. It's alright to want her back with you."
"When will it stop hurting, Mandy?" Caitlin asked, as she looked up at her.
"I don't have an answer for you, Caitlin, but what you do have is good memories of her. That's all that matters now. The pain will fade , eventually."
Just as she said that, the lights flickered on, and the steady hum of the appliances in the kitchen started back again. Mandy looked into her clear hazel eyes, seeing every bit of both parents in them and smiled as she took her into a deeper embrace , smelling the faint traces of the same aroma in her sandy brown hair. The sounds of the motorcycle pulling up in the drive caused Caitlin to pull away from Mandy and run to the door, snatching it open before he could even get off of the gleaming yellow machine. He made his way to the door, seeing the slight evidence of urgency in his daughter's eyes and understood completely. He stood at the door, taking off his riding jacket and sitting it down beside his helmet as he glanced up at the two of them. Whatever had transpired had now been dealt with.
"Everything alright, here?" he asked, his deep brown eyes emoting concern.
"Just had a little power outage," Mandy responded as she put a hand on Caitlin's shoulder. " But we got through it alright."
"Caitlin?"
"I'm cool, Dad. Just glad that you made it home safely. Was it bad?"
"I had to stop a couple of times," Tim stated, feeling the sogginess of his jeans. If he would've listened better to the weather report this morning, he would've known that the bike was not a wise choice. "So, if you don't mind, I'm going to go ahead and change."
"Oh, I can let myself out , Mr. Speedle," Mandy said as she smiled at Caitlin while reaching for her bag that was hanging on the doorknob of the closet before her. " I will see you later, Catie."
Caitlin nodded as her father passed by on his way up the stairs, "Bye, Mandy."
Mandy stopped and turned, putting her hand up in a silent wave as Tim ascended the stairs. Caitlin mouthed a silent thank you before turning to go upstairs. Mandy smiled warmly to herself as she opened the door and closed it, making sure that she locked it. Getting outside, she looked up to see Caitlin's light come on briefly before going back out, the night light providing a soft glow against the darkness of the night. If she could help it, she would be there to continue to comfort her for times to come.
The End
