Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the related characters. I do own this rather bizarre plot… though unfortunately I'm not making any money for it and I don't get paid again for another week. So right now, the current money situation: sucks.
Note: The censored parts are meant to be like extreme sexual desires that I just didn't want to write. Short version, I'm lazy. Long version, they were gross.
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Chapter 1 The Misinformed Lord Volders
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Lucius Malfoy tightened his grip on Wormtail's throat and hissed menacingly at him, "Do not, I repeat, do NOT lose this information! Do you understand, you pitiful excuse for a human?"
Wormtail nodded frantically, fighting desperately for breath.
Lucius smiled sinisterly, loosening his hold on Wormtail's throat ever so slightly, "Good. Now, take this paper, read it and destroy it immediately."
He dropped the man dangling from his fist, kicking him roughly where he lay on the floor. Then he started to dig around in his pocket.
"Grr, I know it's in here somewhere! Ah, here it is," He pulled a small slip of parchment out of his voluminous pockets and handed it to Wormtail before sweeping out of the room in true evil-guy fashion.
Wormtail gazed after him longingly, wondering for the seventh time why Lucius had to walk away from him and couldn't just stay in his bedroom. He sighed, why didn't he have the brains to lock that man up! Then he could have his way with him… FURTHER GRAPHIC THOUGHTS IN THIS PARAGRAPH HAVE BEEN CENSORED! WHY? BECAUSE THE AUTHOR FEELS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO PUKE IF IT CONTINUES! THAT'S WHY!
Wormtail opened up the note that CENSORED Lucius had given him.
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Wormtail,
Stop thinking about me like that, it's just wrong.
Now, the Potter's live in Godric's Hollow, got that? Godric's Hollow!
DO NOT give the Dark Lord this address: 4 Privet Drive, Little Winging, Surrey. This is the WRONG ADDRESS!
Malfoy
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"Master! I have the address!"
"Good, Wormtail, you've finally done something right! I'm proud of you. In fact I'm so proud that I just might (CENSORED). Now, what is the address?"
"4 Privet Drive, Little Winging, Surrey! Ha! I remembered! Take that Lucius!" Wormtail screamed, making the Dark Lord give him a weird look.
"Well... Excellent, let the ruthless killing begin!"
And with that, everyone's favorite dark lord Apperated to the wrong address, courtesy of Wormtail.
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Alright, I know this chapter is exceedingly short. But the next one will be longer, I swear.
So, please review, it'll get me to update sooner! ;-)
luv, veggies
