This story is a cooperative effort between NattyMcTasha and I.

Disclaimer: We don't own Tyler Hilton's song in the prologue, nor do we own One Tree Hill and it's characters. Nor do we own Peyton's podcast. Nor do we own the short excerpt from Remember the Titans.

Summary: First a shooting then a funeral finally brings Tree Hill together, causing everyone to reflect on those missed moments they let slip past. Slightly AU.

---Prologue---

Well, the bus that picks him up from work is late again

It's delayed on the other side of town

Well the street he's waiting on is kind of lonely

'Cept for an old homeless man on the ground

He wonders what he's done so wrong to lose his job

While the woman he loves is with another man

Although the homeless man is there he knows he's all alone

And he let's off as few tears as he can

All he wants is to be happy

All he wants is a friend

'Cause he's tired of being so lonely all the time

And he thinks that it's the end

Letting go and giving in

One of those games you gotta play

I know love is always a sin

Yea, It's always the same

All he wants is to be happy

All he wants is that friend

'Cause he's tired of being so lonely all the time

And he thinks that it's the end

Letting go and giving in

One of those games you gotta play

I know love is always a sin

Yea, It's always the same

Letting go and giving in

One of those games you gotta play

I know love is always a sin

Yea, It's always the same

It's always the same

---Chapter 1: Hear You Me---

"'In the endless perfection of your absence.' That's a line from a poem by Sharon Olds. I've been thinking that line non-stop. Endless. Perfection. Absence. They're such whole words. I just keep - I don't know, I just keep thinking about death over and over... the line between living here among us and being gone... forever. I just can't get over it, you know? How can you go from something to nothing just like that? When someone is gone, they're gone forever and all you have left is memories to try and recreate that person that used to live and breathe right in front of you.

It's weird, like when you're in love, all of sudden you're hearing these love songs all like for the first time, you know, like the singer is suddenly just talking to you alone, reading your mind... and when you're grieving it's the same thing. I'm in tune with all the sadness of the universe the universe suddenly. You know, songs find you, poems find you, people find you.

People say that we don't understand real pain, we're only teenagers; well we're here to say that is so untrue. As teenagers we face more suffering everyday, and than most adults give us credit for. Sometimes it's easier to build shields and exclude others, but before we reach for hate, always, always remember our story.

-------

"Joseph Conrad once said, 'The tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed somber under an overcast sky--seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.' This very river runs through all of us into our heart carrying all things light and dark, this very river keeps us alive, this very river is the blood in our veins. With every dream, with every hateful moment, with every last word, with every day that goes by we find our hearts slowly being covered by darkness."

A tear slowly rolled down Peyton's cheek as she stared down at the ground. She didn't know where else to look. If she stared ahead at the casket only a few feet in front of her, it would just make it seem all the more real. If she looked at the blonde teenage boy giving the eulogy, again, it would make this all real. She didn't want this to be real. It couldn't be real. She felt someone lean against her and whisper softly into her ear, "Remember, the past is what chains us, the future is what frees us," before placing her hand in his. She mustered up a tight smile and looked over at Jake, who mouthed the words, "We'll be okay."

A few more tears found their way down her cheeks. Right now, things weren't okay. Memories were flooding her mind, drowning much of her hope. She remembered how this tangled web all started. She remembered the day their lives became so interwoven and mixed up, causing trouble at every corner. She remembered the day when the world surrounding Tree Hill shattered, the very day the glass shattered, leaving her without a shield.

-------

"How are you feeling, Ms. Sawyer?"

Peyton's eyes slowly began to open as she heard the voice of a man ringing through her head. She immediately noticed bright, white walls and turned her head in the direction of the voice. She squeezed her eyes shut in hopes that the brightness of the room would go away when she opened her eyes again. It didn't work.

"Where am I?" Peyton replied in a daze, her eyes now attempting to focus on the man standing next to her.

"You're in the hospital, Ms. Sawyer. You were shot in the leg earlier today. Now, while you're awake, I would like to tell you some things. You need to stay off of your leg for a little while, to give it the proper time to heal…" he explained as he looked down at his chart, "and you will also need to take some antibiotics to help clean up any more damage from that wound of yours. Any questions?"

"Um. Well — no, I guess not," she said just as she felt someone else squeeze her hand. Peyton glanced over to her right to find Brooke sitting next to her. Brooke gave her a reassuring smile, but it was evident through Brooke's puffy eyes and lack of make-up, that she had been crying. Peyton began to move her other hand to place over Brooke's, but stopped immediately when her IV began to pull. At that moment, she heard the doctor clear his throat, only now, he was standing near the doorway.

"I also talked to your father about an hour ago. He knows about your current condition and has asked that she," he nodded towards Brooke, "can stay here with you after regular visiting hours." With that said, he walked out of the room, leaving nothing but silence.

"How are you feeling?" Brooke asked after a couple minutes of silence.

"Honestly? Like crap. I'd much rather be in my bedroom right now than staring at these blinding white walls," Peyton sighed and pressed her head back against the pillow.

"Oh Peyton, you won't be in here forever. The doctor says that it will be two days, max. So the day after tomorrow, you're free—"

"To be practically immobile?"

"Well, you get crutches." Brooke didn't know any other way to respond to her best friend's injury. She didn't understand why this all had to happen. And most of all, why did it have to be Peyton? She just wasn't able to make any sense of the day's events. It was just too much to take.

Peyton eyed the crutches, which had already been placed in the corner of the room and groaned.

"I have good news!" Brooke spat out in an attempt to lighten the mood. "You're dad is on his way home right now. He said that he'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Did he say how long he was staying this time?" Peyton was now smiling for the first time.

"No, he didn't mention it."

"Oh…" Peyton's eyes shifted down and suddenly became interested in the linen sheets.

"So these doctors here… can you say 'cute?' Well, excluding your doctor. I don't understand how you happen to get the most unattractive doctor in this hospital," Brooke began, trying to distract Peyton from the rough topic of her dad.

Peyton began to laugh, allowing Brooke to smile and continue. "Oh, I passed this doctor earlier in the hall, who was totally checking me out, by the way, and he had the cutest butt. So I gave him a little wink, I bet that drove him up the wall." Brooke demonstrated her wink to emphasize her story.

"Oh! That reminds me… I called Jake earlier," Brooke added.

Peyton's laughing ceased at Brooke's last comment.

"What?"

"I called Jake to tell him what was going on. I figured that he should know. I only got his voicemail though," Brooke responded with a disappointed look on her normally cheerful face.

Peyton looked back down at her white linen sheets again and a thought occurred to her. She kissed Lucas. She kissed her best friend's boyfriend… again. Guilt washed over her as she thought about it. Brooke was doing all of this for her, and once again, she might have ruined their once everlasting friendship.

"Brooke, I kissed Lucas," Peyton blurted out suddenly. Brooke looked up at her and narrowed her eyes.

"What—"

Peyton began to panic. "I don't know why I did it. Really—I just—I don't know. I was losing blood by the second—and I thought for sure that I wasn't going to make it out of there. I felt like I had to do something—and I—I kissed him. It was a total lapse of judgment. Please don't think that I want to be with Lucas—because I don't—and I would never do something like that to you—again. I mean—"

"Peyton, it's okay," Brooke interrupted her and placed her hand on top of Peyton's again.

"Really?" Peyton question skeptically as she surveyed her surroundings. She couldn't get away if she wanted to. It seemed as if she was hooked up to about a million different machines that surrounded her.

"Yeah, I trust you, P Sawyer." This caused Peyton to finally look back at Brooke.

"So, you're not going to hit me in the head with a crutch?"

Brooke began to laugh. "Of course not! I love you, best friend, and like I said, I trust you." She gave Peyton a reassuring smile.

"I love you too, Davis," Peyton replied, feeling relieved that they had finally gotten over their chaotic love triangle. Suddenly, Peyton's eyelids began to feel heavy.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get some food really quick. Maybe check out the gift shop—or the doctors. We'll see which comes first. You okay in here?" Brooke asked as she stood up and grabbed her purse.

Peyton nodded slowly as her eyes began to close. She battled her eyelids in an effort to stay awake. However, she was defeated shortly after she heard the door close behind Brooke. And then there was nothing but silence.

-------

"You call that fashion?"

The room was now a nice amber color, and the glow of the nighttime landscape of Tree Hill shone through the windows. Peyton looked over at her best friend, who was flipping through the pages of the latest Cosmo, with her feet propped up on the chair next to her. Brooke heard Peyton stirring and looked over at her.

"Are you talking to yourself?" Peyton asked as she moved her pillows to sit up.

"Oh, you're finally awake, sleepy head," Brooke responded and set her magazine on the table. "It gets boring in here when it's just me."

"You don't have to stay—"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Brooke said and then tossed Peyton's cell phone onto her lap. "Check your messages, Sawyer."

Peyton picked up her phone and opened it to find that she had two voicemail messages. She looked over at Brooke, who shrugged and returned to reading her magazine.

She fingered the familiar buttons of her phone. She listened as the cheery voice said, "You have two new voicemails. Press one to listen." Peyton wonders how could a voice sound so cheery, yet robotic.

Beep. "Hey P. Sawyer, its me Brooke. Right now I'm calling and you're here in the room sleeping like a rock and snoring like a freight train. You really should get that checked out... it could scare a bear. Anyway, on my way to the lunch line, I bumped into this really hot med student and..." Peyton turned to her best friend with her head shaking from laughter. "You called me? Davis, you're nuts!"

Brooke flashed her coquettish, yet innocent smile. Peyton returned her attention back to the phone as the next message started to play.

Beep. "Hey Peyton, it's me Jake. Uh, I don't know what to say, but wow. I mean not wow... what are the right words for a situation like this? I'm at a loss for words. Are you okay? I'm worried about you… Brooke didn't really go in details, but it's been all over the news. I finally found a lead on Nikki, so right now I'm in New York City. I still can't believe it, but New York City... it's really different from the small life of Tree Hill. So anyway I've been thinking about you a lot and I miss you. I actually am staying somewhere so feel free to call this number: (509) 555-0312. I can't wait to hear you voice, I can't believe it's been so long..."

Brooke heard Peyton's cell phone close shut and looked up only to find her best friend battling the tears that were threatening to drop at any given moment. The strange part was that Peyton was actually smiling. It was a smile that Brooke wasn't used to seeing.

"Peyton!—" Brooke said as she got up and sat on the bed next to her, "—come here…" Brooke wrapped her arms around Peyton's slender body.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't worry, I'm happy… I just don't—know what to—do," Peyton replied through sniffles.

"This isn't a reaction to my call… I mean, it was good… but it wasn't tear-worthy."

"No—no… it was Jake…"

Brooke jumped up. "Really?! This is so exciting... better than that sexy med student story I told you about. You know, the one with the really nice legs and—"

"He said that he's worried about me, Brooke. And that he misses me. And that he can't wait to hear from me. I just—I just don't know what to do," Peyton interrupted and then looked down at her hands.

"You're kidding right?" Brooke questioned as she squeezed Peyton's hand and forced eye contact. "Call him, I'm sure he won't mind that it is late. I think I'll take another visit to the Cafeteria. Some of these doctors are foxes. I always wondered why anybody would want to be a nurse, but with these doctors…" Brooke got up and walked over to the door.

"I'm gonna take off, you'll be okay right? And remember to tell Jake that you aren't wearing underwear," Brooke winked at Peyton.

Peyton grabbed the Cosmo from the table next to her and replied: "Don't forget your Cosmo!" just before throwing it, causing Brooke to squeal as she barely dodged the flying magazine. Brooke placed her hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out, while Peyton did the same.

"Later, Sawyer!" Brooke said in between laughs as she skipped through the door.

Peyton shook her head at her best friend and reached for her cell phone. She stared at the keypad for a few minutes, debating whether or not she should call. What if it was too late? Or what if calling so soon made her seem needy? Jake was the one who called though… so obviously he wants to talk. But… what would they talk about? Jake was right, it really had been a long time.

"Okay Peyton, you can do this," she said to herself. She slowly punched in the numbers on her phone and paused before pressing the "send" button. She squeezed her eyes shut, pressed the button, and put the phone up to her ear. The phone rang once. Then twice. Then third. Then...

"Hello? Who the heck is calling?" A grumpy voice yelled.

Slightly annoyed, she replied, "Hi, you're not Jake."

"No shit, Sherlock."