Fangirl Extra Chapter

Cath was happier now that Regan started going to the dining hall with her, though she wouldn't admit that to her. That was partially, because Cath would feel uncomfortable saying so, but more than that, she felt that Regan preferred that she didn't thank her and make a big deal about it. Cath still found Regan to be scary, but less so now. She felt that now, at least, she didn't have to worry about Regan trying to be scary to her. There were perks to being under her wing.

It was also nice that it was a thing that was just the two of them. Levi was nice and Cath didn't dislike him at all, but his ever present smile and over the top optimism could be impending when she wasn't feeling her best, which she rarely was. Regan's aura of gloom fit well with Cath's discomfort in life. Regan only forced Cath to socialize with her, which Cath could get used to, but she felt like Levi would try to talk to everyone else in the dining hall and Cath was not ready to interact with that many people.

Just being around so many people made Cath anxious, but Regan was good at keeping people at bay. It was like Regan had a magical amulet that repelled anyone she didn't want to talk to. Cath wished she could borrow that amulet and feel comfortable in places other than her own bed and desk.

The other good thing about meals with Regan was that it had become a routine. Routine soothed Cath. It was nice having some order in her life. With her worries about her Dad and her changed relationship with her sister it was nice to have something she could count on. Unfortunately that couldn't and didn't last forever. One day Cath was getting ready to go to the dining hall with Regan, when she walked in with a guy that wasn't Levi. That happened sometimes. This guy was named Eric, Cath thought. He didn't make an effort to talk to Cath, which she appreciated. She was just getting used to Levi talking to her and she didn't need more guys disturbing her solitude in her bedroom.

Regan gathered up some stuff in a bad and nodded to Cath, "See ya," she said as she walked out with the guy who might be named Eric following her without even a glace at Cath. She sat and watched the door for about two minutes thinking about what to do. She was hungry. She normally ate around this time. She looked at her energy bar and peanut butter jar stash. She was getting pretty low. Since Regan started taking her to the dining hall she had been eating them less herself, but Levi must have not stopped, because she definitely had less than before.

Cath tried to do some math in her head. If Regan would go out and not have dinner with her maybe once or twice a week then what she had could possibly last her still over a month, but that was without factoring in Levi's appetite. Plus, maybe Regan would go out more. Maybe the dinner thing was going to go by the wayside. She could just eat a energy bar and some peanut butter now and next time do something else, but Cath knew that was a crutch and she would think that again next time too. She figured it was now or never. She had to try going to the dining hall on her own.

Cath decided to go about it in steps. She started by putting her shoes on. Then she grabbed her bag. Then she walked to the door. Then she opened it and stepped out. She walked to the elevator. She got off on the first floor. Finally she was standing outside the dining hall. Each step seemed small and not so scary until the next step was walking into the dining hall where all the people were.

Cath stepped one foot inside. She took a breath and walked in. She kept her head down and wished for Regan's metaphorical amulet willing everyone to back away from her. At least with her head down she could avoid making eye contact with someone. She took a plate from the rack and served herself pasta and some chicken.

Cath looked around for a table. There were no empty tables. Of course there weren't any empty tables, Cath thought to herself. There never were. She and Regan always sat with other people. Cath looked for the emptiest table she could find. There was one only half full. The half not full had two girls and one guy. Cath kept her head down and sat across from them.

Cath started eating and allowed herself to look around the room, but made sure to avoid eye contact, so she started by not looking high enough to see people's faces. A tail caught her eye and Cath thought, great Wolf Girl is here again. Today she also had fur lined short boots on to match her tail. Cath made a mental note to tell Regan about this when she saw her later. Then she realized that was stupid and Regan wouldn't care, so she decided to forget about it and instead decided to see if any of the other regulars that she and Regan mocked were here. She even lifted her gaze enough to see faces. She spotted Venezuelan Lindsay Lohan, but she was sitting nowhere near Soccer Sandals today. Shame, Cath thought, one day it would happen. Gimpy wasn't there today.

Cath finished her food and cleared her plate. She walked back to her dorm feeling accomplished. She felt a bit stupid, because eating at a dining hall on her own is a weird thing to feel proud about, but for her it was a bid deal, so she allowed herself to feel proud, she just wouldn't tell anybody. When she got back to her room she decided to put her positive energy into a Carry On chapter. She wrote about four thousand words before Regan got back.

"Did you eat anything?" Regan asked as soon as she walked into the room, "I mean not an energy bar, like real food."

"What?" Cath asked more out of shock than misunderstanding the question.

"I realized this is the first night I didn't go to the dining hall and I'm worried about you relapsing with your eating disorder."

"It wasn't an eating disorder," Cath answered defiantly, "But yes I ate, and I ate 'real' food as you called it. I went to the dining hall." Cath realized she was smiling, which was too out of character, so she knocked it off.

"Okay, good. So, did I miss anything interesting?"

"Well Wolf girl had fur lined boots to match her tail today."

Regan scoffed, "It isn't even cold enough for boots yet. That girl needs to give it a rest."

"Well they were short boots," Cath corrected herself.

"Still. Well, anyways I'm glad you didn't go crazy again without me. Now I know I know I can leave you alone without coming home to a mess."

"You know I'm not a dog," Cath protested.

"No you're too neat and self conscious to be a dog, plus you don't crave attention. So, you're better than a dog."

"Thanks, I guess?" Cath didn't know what else to say.

"I'm gonna go shower. See you in a bit."

"Bye," Cath called after Regan as she left and she went back to writing her chapter.